She screamed as her channel tightened, strangling his cock in a wash of heat and ecstasy. His seed burst from his veins, filling her as his hips drove into her in a frenzied tattoo of greedy hunger.
He fed from her vein, pulling deeply, drinking her life-giving essence into his soul. She tasted of honeysuckle, and light, and hope. She tasted of salvation.
Slaking the sharp edge of his hunger, he lay her down. He gentled his hold. Her soft moans translated her pleasure as he returned to suckle at her vein, savoring small swallows as his hips slowly rocked, his cock penetrating her heat in a languid way that soothed both of them.
Her fingers rested in his hair, holding him to her as he fed and used her body for both their pleasure. Small aftershocks of her release trembled over his cock and her breath caught every so often. He could fall asleep like this.
But as her heart rate slowed, reminding him of her fragility, he forced himself to pull away. She gave a needy moan and angled her neck toward his lips as if silently asking him to go on, but he couldn’t without costing her.
He licked over the twin punctures, closing the wound, and pressed a kiss to her pulse. “Later. I don’t want you so weak you can’t move.”
He pushed his weight off her and thrust his hips forward one last time. She was tired and spent, having climaxed several times and shared a good amount of her blood.
“Shut your eyes, ainsicht. Rest and enjoy.”
Her eyes closed and he carefully pulled off her cape and dress. He couldn’t bear the thought of withdrawing from her heat, so he rolled to his back and pulled her on top of him, cradling her head to his shoulder.
“Let me stay inside of you for a little while longer.”
She moaned softly and settled her limbs around him. He brushed his fingers into her hair allowing the strands to fall like silken ribbons.
His virility was no doubt a cumbersome undertaking for her. They could only repeat this interspecies sort of mating for so long, before his baser instincts took over. Eventually, his lust would become too much and it would be too dangerous. But he mostly feared the moment when they shared intimacy for the last time, part of him already preparing for her choice to return to her normal life.
She sighed. “What are you thinking? You feel … cold.”
They were so in tune, even more so while he was still inside of her. He’d have to be more careful with his emotions. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“I wasn’t sleeping.”
“Then I didn’t mean to disturb you.”
She pushed herself up, her body sliding down his length in a delicious stroke of friction that had his eyes closing. Her breasts hung like soft fruit between them, begging his mouth for a taste.
“No more secrets, Adam.”
He dragged a finger up her spine, and she arched back, her body rolling against his as he lengthened inside of her. “I was only thinking of the future.”
Her hands flattened on his chest as she rocked over him. “Do we have to?”
His mouth hooked in a half smile. Unfortunately, he didn’t have a choice. “No. We don’t have to think about it right now.”
Her smile was soft, her eyes heavy, and her motions languid. “You were right.”
“About?”
She blushed, her skin a touch paler than usual. “I liked it. A lot.”
He laughed. “Perhaps that restored a bit of your trust in me?”
She held up her finger and thumb, barely any space in between. “A smidge.”
His hands lowered to her hips, his fingers pressing into her backside as she rocked over him. “So, the next time I need—”
“Yes. I’ll do it.”
He stared up at her, wondering if they would make it to a next time or if this was the last time. “Anna, I want you to remember this, the way I touch you, the adoration you feel when I look at you. This is me. This is who I am when I’m with you. Anything else is…” His lips pressed tight. “If I change, just know it’s not me.”
“I see exactly who you are, Adam. And I don’t think I could ever forget.”
He lifted a hand to her face, his thumb, tracing over her full lips as her lashes lowered. Her lips closed around his thumb and sucked softly. She bit and he grunted, his cock swelling inside of her.
She giggled and sent him a sidelong glance, eyes teasing. “Was it as good for you as it was for me?”
If only she knew. “Better.”
Her lips parted. “Really?”
He nodded. “Making love to you while feeding… It’s everything. You hold my existence in your hands. I’m completely vulnerable and yours in those moments. I feel … utterly loved.”
“I want to feel that.”
He pulled her hand to his chest, pressing it over his heart. “You can. Right here. My walls are down, Annalise. No more secrets. My love is yours.”
She stilled. “Are you saying you love me?”
He laughed. “Is it not obvious?”
He thought the truth would make her happy, but there came a wave of sadness. When she glanced away, he caught her chin.
“I don’t need to hear the words from you. I know you might not feel the same. But that doesn’t lessen how I feel. I love you, Annalise. You’re my ainsicht, my one and only for all ewichkeit.”
Her face nestled against his hand. “What’s ewichkeit?”
Pulling her to his chest, he closed his arms around her, holding her tight and pressing a kiss to her head. “My eternity.”
She sighed. “You’re like an all or nothing sort of guy, aren’t you?”
He smiled at her teasing tone. “Yes.”
Chapter Thirty-One
The sun set beyond the distant mountain scape. Annalise had been watching the horizon for hours, trying to make sense of her redefined reality. The peaceful setting seemed at such odds with the crisis ahead, and yet, she couldn’t ask for a prettier setting if she had to pick a place to die.
The land unfolded in shades of green, painted gold beneath the radiant sky. And as dusk came, the trees and old farmhouses lost their luster to a star pierced sky that blanketed the earth in deep blue silk with silver buttons.
She had no appetite tonight. When they finally left the bedroom, she needed space from all of them, and so she’d been sitting on the porch ever since dinner.
Her fingers, resting at her shoulder, drifted to her neck. Smooth skin met her touch, completely unbroken in any way.
She let a man drink from her. And yet … no mark.
She knew what they were.
Thoughts of every vampire she could recall since Sesame Street’s Count Von Count, dashed through her mind, but none compared to Adam. Not terrifying Lestat or self-deprecating Louis. Certainly not Bram Stoker’s friends. Not the glittering Cullens or the True Blood gang. None of them. Because, according to Adam, they weren’t vampires. They were immortals. But, for him, that could soon change.
Adam’s family was unlike anything the world of fiction could have prepared her for. They weren’t broody or cruel. They didn’t laze about all day and pass the evenings in exploited luxury.
A silent chuckle filled her head. In comparison, their refined family life held more charm and appeal than her solitaire existence at home. If someone compared the two and asked who the vampire was, they’d probably guess her—the always out late, tired during the day, loner who had no one waiting up for her and no one to care if she went missing for days.
Her fingers drifted to the base of her skull where a soft touch feathered at the base of her skull. She smiled.
Adam…
She shut her eyes and gave a mental push back, unsure if he’d feel it, but appreciating his comfort all the same. While he couldn’t read her thoughts like Grace, he had no problem sensing her emotions from far away. He’d gotten even better since taking her blood.
Ugh, he drank her blood. Her stomach tossed like a sloshing flood in the cabin of a ship.
The blood thing might be a deal breaker for her. She got
it—they lived off an animal rich diet. They had the perfect place to sustain their needs, and while Adam claimed to come this far on animal blood, he also said nothing compared to the blood of a mate.
She was the mate. Her mouth twisted. Her life wasn’t set up for a serious relationship. She anticipated meeting her husband years from now when she had her career secured. And all those real grown up things figured out, like a decent car, a savings account, and a thirty-year fixed mortgage she’d probably never pay off.
Tucking her feet onto the seat of the rocking chair, she hugged her knees. Did she really want all those things? When Adam asked about the work she’d do, the thought of filing and scheduling didn’t necessarily spark joy. But the idea of self-reliance did.
And scrubs. She really liked the idea of not having to think too hard about what to wear to work every day.
Her fingers rubbed over the simple cotton dress covering her legs. Well, clothes certainly wouldn’t be an issue here.
But could she do it? Could she actually stay and say goodbye to everything she knew? Could she do it for him, a man she just met who wasn’t a man at all?
Her chair rocked under the weight of such heavy decisions. Who could decide things like that?
She didn’t want Adam to go to the Council. She didn’t want him to suffer at all. But she didn’t want to die.
That’s what it would be—death. Her human life—should she agree to the bonding thing—would go away forever. She’d be trapped here, at least for a while, as she figured out how to live as … an immortal.
She thought of Larissa. Maybe there was no escape once you were in. While Adam made plenty of promises to see to her happiness, the women here were oppressed.
She winced. That seemed too harsh a word even for her own private thoughts. They weren’t oppressed… but they also weren’t treated as equals. While an older female might rule the house, acting as queen bee while the man of the house was away, the second he returned she’d relent, handing over the reins and all authority.
She saw it with Abilene. She heard it from Adam. And she would never forget the way Larissa went from regal to submissive within a single heartbeat when her husband picked her up today.
She shivered, recalling Larissa’s downcast eyes and the way she followed his command without objection. Annalise could never live like that. It wasn’t in her blood and she feared—if she changed—her blood would as well. She didn’t want to become some Stepford puppet.
She had so many questions and couldn’t help the creeping suspicions that kept cropping up. She’d asked Adam about the basics, garlic, mirrors, crucifixes… All the novels were wrong. None of that stuff had any power over them. They didn’t have mirrors on the walls because they were Amish, not because of any vampire folklore.
With so many differences between his culture and hers, discerning which differences were due to their faith and which were due to their biology could be confusing. But the combination of immortality and Amish? Brilliant. They truly were safe here.
The screen door creaked. “Anna? Are you sure you won’t eat?” Grace’s soft-spoken question proved, once again, that they we’re not the evil creatures so many assumed, sketched in fictional worlds where coffins and castles were king.
“No, thank you.” She couldn’t eat. Her head was too—
“A little food will clarify your thoughts.”
Please get out of my head…
Dropping her gaze with a look of contrition on her face, Grace nodded and returned inside the house. Annalise sensed Adam’s concern the moment Grace must have relayed that she’d been turned down.
Lost in a maze of questions, she went back to rocking and thinking—no closer to deciding than she’d been days ago, when he brought her here. She simply couldn’t picture what her life would look like if she agreed to this.
Would they actually be a married couple, or would it be a marriage of convenience to save his life? Again, her hand went to the back of her neck. Adam would never settle for less than an actual marriage.
He was very old fashioned in his thinking as well as his lifestyle. But that’s what made him special. He took his position very seriously and saw his duty to protect her as a great honor. True, he had a way of exaggerating the danger in her world. There hadn’t been any danger before she met him.
Her mind always went back to the same place. But had she known him when her mother had been suffering… Would he have protected her then? Somehow saved her battered heart? Maybe he could have helped her mother fight the cancer even though he said it didn’t work that way.
She was reaching. But he would have protected her. He would have been there with her, beside her, helping her make all the tough decisions and holding her when she just couldn’t keep herself together anymore. Looking back, it made her sad she hadn’t met him yet.
Those were the worst months of her life. Every day she battled the guilt of wondering when it would end, while also begging for one more day. She knew the second the doctors told them it was terminal that her life would never be the same.
Some daughters fought with their moms over curfews and dating. Annalise never had that sort of relationship with her mother. They were more like friends than parent and child. And when she died, a piece of Annalise died with her.
Her father, a man she’d never met face to face, had only just begun to acknowledge her presence. After the funeral, Annalise had reached out to him, hoping to find … something. But he didn’t want the connection she so desperately needed at the time.
He had a family, and a wife of over thirty-five years. None of them knew about the sophomore he’d fooled around with twenty-three years ago. And her mother kept her promise not to tell of the married man who got her pregnant.
But when the will was read and the keys to the safety deposit box were turned over, all those missing puzzle pieces fell into place, painting a new picture of family Annalise didn’t recognize.
She resisted the urge to look for a man who never looked for her, but that only lasted so long. One quick Internet search and there was her father—still married and tenured at the school where he’d met her mother.
A few months of social media stalking, and she mustered the courage to reach out to him in a private message. His responses were slow and measured. But he seemed curious. He liked asking about her schooling and grades.
She’d been the one to suggest they meet. At first, he delayed an encounter, but after several requests, he finally agreed. The first time he stood her up had been due to a flat tire—supposedly. The second time it was a stomach bug. After that, the excuses got worse. And the last time he hadn’t bothered to make one at all.
She wasn’t even sure she liked the man. She didn’t want a relationship with a parent who didn’t want her. But she wanted a family again, that sense of belonging to someone, of knowing you’re loved and safe and will always have an emotional haven to call home.
Her mind immediately turned to Adam. She didn’t doubt he could be all those things, but she also didn’t want to stay with him for selfish reasons. She wanted to stay because…
Because he looked at her like no one else ever had. Because he cared when she was upset and pestered her to eat and rest when she was weary. Because he cared about her and when he kissed her, her whole body felt it.
Those little details that hinted at possibly falling in love for the first time in her life were why she should want to stay, but every time she thought to leave, she didn’t think of those lovely reasons to stay. She thought of a world without Adam. She thought of him suffering because she was too selfish to save him. She thought of all the pressure to change everything in order to save a man she hardly knew.
And those were not the intimate reasons she hoped would convince her to stay. They were the impersonal consequences of why she shouldn’t go.
Maybe she was a fool to try to romanticize anything that boiled down to a life or death choice. But she wanted the fairy tale. This was her life and the more
she considered possibly rerouting all of it, the more the little girl with big dreams inside of her insisted she should stay. But every part of her wanted it to be for love more than anything else.
Could she love Adam?
Did he love her? He claimed to, but her mom used to say, never trust a man’s promise if it’s made in bed.
Biting her nails down to nubs didn’t bring her any closer to answers. Nipping one cuticle too short, she tsked as a hangnail started to bleed.
She stilled and scanned the porch, listening for the others inside. She covered the bleeding finger with her other hand, putting pressure on the cut. Could they smell that?
What about turning into other things, like bats? That seemed ridiculous, but she didn’t believe in any of this a few days ago.
And what about actors like Reese Witherspoon? The woman still looked like a teenager and had the energy to act and manage a growing empire, yet she was born in the seventies. She seriously hadn’t aged. Was she immortal, too?
Everything was moving too fast. She wished she knew exactly how much longer Adam had before losing his humanity.
Hours of thinking and she was no closer to a decision. The be-all and end-all that kept running through her head. She didn’t want Adam to die.
But, she also wasn’t ready to make a lifelong commitment to someone she just met. Nor was she sold on giving up her creature comforts like microwaves, and cell phones, and elastic banded underwear. But the no bra thing was nice. And for the love of God, could a girl get some shoes?
Why couldn’t she save Adam and live out in the real world? Would anyone really hold it against him if she made it a condition?
They wouldn’t have to get married or live on the farm. They could just … date. Do the modern world immortal thing. Have fun with it and…
The thought of sharing him with the world turned her stomach. She wasn’t a possessive person, but she also didn’t want women looking at him or flirting with him. He was hers.
Original Sin (The Order of Vampires Book 1) Page 28
