She pulled his hand away and scowled. “Cain said you would do this. He said you would trust them over me.”
“He’s poisoning your thoughts against me.” His fingers forked through his hair. “I must catch my grandfather before he leaves.”
She caught his sleeve. “Don’t you dare go running off for another secret meeting with the men! I’m supposed to be your mate. Start treating me that way.”
“I do.”
“No, you want to decide everything without my input. Tonight you even decided if your grandfather could compliment me to my face or just assess me like he was looking over a horse.”
“That’s not true.”
“It’s also not a total lie. This is a partnership, Adam. That’s the only way it’s ever going to work for me. I’m sick of feeling like my opinion means less than everyone else’s around here.”
“Ainsicht, your opinion means more to me than anyone else’s. How could you say such a thing?”
She glanced over her shoulder toward the kitchen. “Why are they making so much food?”
His face shifted, a mask of secrets sliding over his eyes.
“Is it wedding food?”
“They only want to be prepared in case you change your mind.”
“Adam! They’ve been working all day! Do you know how that makes me look?”
“I will tell them there’s not going to be a wedding.”
She rubbed her head. “You should have told them that the first time they assumed there would be. God! Why would you let them believe otherwise?”
“Because I believe otherwise.”
Her gaze jerked up from her fidgeting hands. “Excuse me?”
“I believe you’ll want to marry me, Anna. Once we’re bonded, there will be no unlocking our souls. It’s pointless for us to avoid the inevitable.”
“Is it pointless to wait for a girl to accept a proposal, which, by the way, hasn’t happened?”
He tipped his head. “Is that what you want? A proposal?”
“It would be nice.”
He took her hands. “Annalise Snow, will you let me love you for the rest of my life? Will you let me worship your soul, honor your body, and nourish your life in every possible way a male can see to a female’s needs? Will you take my name and bear my children and love me even in my most unlovable moments? Will you make a life with me, where you’re always my first priority, my first thought, and my last? Will you give me forever to prove that I’m deserving of your heart?”
She blinked at him, unsure how anyone could respond to such words. “You guys don’t do the down on one knee, ring thing?”
His mouth hooked in a smile of full on male arrogance. “We’re a bit more complicated than that. But if it pleases you…” He dropped to one knee. “Annalise Snow, will you marry me?”
She blinked at him. “I wasn’t… I hadn’t prepared…”
“Ask and you shall receive, ainsicht. I’ll deny you nothing.”
Only an idiot would turn down such promises. So what was wrong with her? She pulled him to his feet and paced to the railing. “No one’s ever…”
His hands closed over her shoulder, the dampness of his clothes seeping into her back. “I love you, Annalise. And if it takes the rest of my life, I promise to work every single day at earning your love in return.”
Her head lowered. He already worked his way into her heart, but how much of that was some predisposed biological chemistry, and how much of it was love. “It’s not that I don’t trust you. I don’t trust myself. I don’t want to hurt you, Adam.”
“There’s nothing you could do that I wouldn’t forgive. Nothing you could ask that I wouldn’t do.”
She turned to face him and drew in a galvanizing breath. “What if I want to help Cain?”
He staggered back as if she slapped him.
“You just said, there’s nothing I could ask that you wouldn’t do—”
“And this is what you took from that?” he snapped.
“If you can’t keep a promise you made five seconds ago, what good are all the promises of your proposal? This is why I think it’s too soon to get married.”
His jaw twitched and she sensed his anger. It was the first time it hit her so precisely. “You take advantage of my love.”
“Your love has conditions.”
“My love is bottomless! You’re the one building walls between us. Cain is a serpent spreading poison!”
“He’s your brother! What if he’s telling the truth and I am called to both of you? He could die, Adam!”
“The moment he endangered you, he was already dead in my eyes.”
He was wrong. Everything inside of her screamed this was a mistake and they needed to find his brother before he got too far.
“He could have taken me, Adam. No one was around. I was helpless. He could have grabbed me, and left, but he didn’t.”
He paced, frustration emanating from his clipped movements. “You ask too much of me.”
“You’re the one who said I could ask for anything.”
“Not this.” His face wore a hardened mask that told her he’d never budge. “I will not risk losing you to a brother who betrayed me.”
“Then you don’t trust me.”
“I trust you—”
“If you trusted me, you’d believe that my mind’s made up. I chose you, Adam. I don’t want Cain. He can’t make me change my mind any more than you can. But you don’t believe that, because you don’t think a woman can actually decide for herself. Deep down, no matter what I say, you still think you’re wiser than me.”
“That’s not true.”
“Prove it. Prove that I’m your equal, and that you trust my judgment. Put everything on the line, and show me that you see me as an equal.”
“And if I do?”
Her shoulders drew back, and her chin lifted. “Then I’ll marry you.”
He studied her for a long moment. “Marry me first. I’ll not have this rivalry between us. We have trust or we have nothing. I love you, Annalise. Even if you weren’t my called mate, I’d find it impossible not to feel something for you. If helping Cain is what it will take to prove my feelings for you, if it will prove I value you as my equal and will do anything for you, then so be it. But I want you as my wife. It’s the only way I can do this. I need to know you’re irrevocably mine. You say nothing will change our path. Prove it. Marry me before we bond.”
“You’ll forgive your brother?”
“I’ll try to help him. Forgiveness is a separate matter.”
And after all this, it might not matter anyway. What if Cain could not be saved? “Okay. I’ll marry you.”
He didn’t grab her or kiss her. He simply nodded his acknowledgement of their deal, the distance between them proof that their conditions had cost them both. And when he turned away, she worried he might be right. She may have just invited a serpent into their home.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
“Do you like it?” Grace asked, holding up a pale blue dress.
“It’s … lovely.”
She glanced at the door. Since agreeing to marry Adam she’d been under Grace’s watch.
“I don’t understand how everyone will have enough time to prepare.” She’d only accepted his proposal an hour ago.
Grace laughed. “They’ve been preparing since Adam announced he’d been called. You’ll see.”
A ribbon of black carriages snaked over the dark road, approaching the house. No one seemed bothered that it was the middle of the night. At least the rain had passed and the stars painted a pretty canopy overhead.
The windowpanes rattled from the vibrations. Crumbs of plaster bounced on the sill. “There are so many.” She’d expected a private ceremony and now worried some might find her lacking.
Grace pulled her away from the window. “Let’s get you cleaned up and changed into your wedding clothes.”
After a drawn-out trip to the bathing room, Grace braided her hair. “Are you ex
cited for your new house?”
Voices rumbled throughout the home. Men she didn’t recognize carried furniture out to the barn. “Hi,” she said as a tall man crossed her path. She frowned when he dropped his gaze and ignored her.
“They won’t speak to you without Adam’s permission.”
Annalise rolled her eyes. Her nerves kicked in and Grace helped her dress in the blue gown and that’s when it hit her. She was getting married.
“I need a drink.”
“Do you want me to fetch you water?”
“I was hoping for something stronger.” She pulled at her collar. “Tell me what to expect tonight. I’m starting to freak out.”
What if this was a mistake? Why had she agreed to this? She needed to see Adam. He was upset with her and avoiding her. She didn’t want to say her vows like this. She needed to…
“Anna, you’re shaking. Here, drink some water.”
Her hand trembled as she pressed the glass to her lips. “I can’t do this.”
“Do what?”
“Marry your brother. I can’t marry someone I don’t love.”
Grace looked at her as if she were crazy. “Anna, you shouldn’t lie.”
“I’m not lying. This is a mistake. I need to talk to him.”
“Hey.” Grace caught her hand. “You are lying. How can you not tell?” Her fingers pressed to Annalise’s brow. “It’s right here.”
“What?”
“Shut your eyes and try to calm your breathing.”
Her lashes lowered and Grace took her hands, folding them between her own. “First, there’s the noise—just the usual chaos that keeps us awake at night. But beyond that, are your memories. First, the recent memories are there, and then, deeper, are the ones that have shaped you as much as your bones. I see your mother. She’s blowing you a kiss and telling you to have fun. I see her comforting you the first time a boy made you cry. I see the cat that used to visit whenever you left milk out. You loved that cat, but it could never come in because your mom had allergies.
“And then I see your pain. The day the doctor told you the cancer was terminal, you cried the whole way home. You were almost in a wreck, but the other driver swerved. That was the last time you believed in divine intervention. Since then, you questioned everything.”
Annalise’s chest tightened as Grace somehow pulled those painful pieces from her mind. Buried in the deepest recesses of her mind, unearthing more emotions than she ever wanted to face, she felt a twinge of familiarity and gasped.
“I see you looking at Adam. What a thrill you felt the first time he returned to you. You thought you’d never see him again. You wondered if he’d been sent to save you.”
Her skin flushed. Those were fleeting thoughts that meant nothing.
“The first time he touched you, your heart erupted with emotions you couldn’t name. When he looked at you, you felt like he was the first man to actually see you. And when…” Grace’s voice broke. “When he attacked you in the woods, you feared you might lose him forever. You were terrified, not that he’d hurt you, but that you waited too long.”
She released her hands and Anna opened her eyes, twin tears falling down her cheeks. Grace smiled and dashed them away. “You’ve known you’ve loved him since the second you decided to save him. You were staring at a ceiling while he slept beside you. Hide from the truth all you want, Anna. But it will never hide from you.”
Her lips trembled as she looked Adam’s sister in the eye. “How do you do that?”
Grace shrugged. “How do we breathe? Just because I can, doesn’t mean I know how or why. Love’s the same way. You don’t have to explain or justify it to make it true. It just is.”
Now that Grace had helped her see the truth, there was no denying it. She loved him. No one had ever wanted her as profoundly as Adam did. And while she struggled to wrap her brain around all these new discoveries, she envied his beliefs.
Adam’s God wasn’t spiteful or cruel. She wanted to believe in something. She needed faith in her life, and his seemed real as any. But a good and decent God should be infallible. If Adam wanted her to believe in called mates and destiny, then she needed to believe his so-called God wouldn’t rip two brothers apart. There had to be a reason Cain felt called to her as well.
If she were to believe any of this, she had to believe all of it. She was called to save Adam, but Cain was called into this for a reason as well. Whatever his purpose, she needed to trust he held a significant role.
“When can I see Adam?” She needed to tell him the truth. She loved him.
“You need to finish dressing.” Grace stepped closer and pulled a white apron over her front. As she pressed a pin through the fabric she gasped, and the tiny pin pinged across the floor.
“Did you prick yourself?” She looked as though she saw a ghost. “Grace?”
Her crystal blue eyes lifted, and she smiled. “So soon.”
Annalise frowned. “So soon, what?”
Grace pressed a hand to the front of the dress. “His child’s inside of you.”
Annalise staggered back, pushing her hand away. “What?”
“I can hear it.” She placed her palm over her abdomen and laughed. “Anna, you’re pregnant.”
The blood rushed from her head. “But I’m not like you.”
“You will be in a few hours. Oh, Adam will be thrilled!”
Her face tingled with numbness. Her brain automatically reverted to what she knew. “But I wasn’t ovulating.” Her hand lifted to her head and she swayed. Pregnant?
“You should sit. You’re very pale.”
She couldn’t remember the last time she ate. “Maybe some more water and some crackers or something.”
“I’ll be right back.”
“Grace?”
“Yes?”
“Don’t tell anyone. Not yet.”
Grace’s eyes reflected trust as she nodded. She slipped into the hall and Annalise rested a hand on her stomach. Pregnant.
The night sky made it difficult to see, but lanterns burned on every table set out below. The women worked tirelessly, in their brightly colored gowns while the men continued to carry furniture around the sodden yard in preparation for a celebration.
Warmth kindled in her chest. After tonight, she would always be a part of this. Her days of living without family would be forever gone, and she would now belong somewhere.
She smiled. She would belong to someone.
God help her, but the thought of belonging to Adam actually sparked something inside of her. A craving to take care of him and honor him, blindsided her.
“You’re a vision.”
She spun away from the window and sucked in a breath. “Cain.”
He raised a brow. “You’re learning to tell us apart.”
“I thought you left.”
He stepped into the bedroom and quietly shut the door. “I felt you. I was miles away and I felt you pulling me back.”
“So you came back?”
He nodded, stepping further into the room. “I can’t figure out if I’m a danger to you, or you’re a danger to me.”
“Maybe both.” Her hands pressed behind her, into the sill of the window.
“Tell me why you wanted me here, Annalise. I was almost across state lines and…”
“Your sister will be back any second. If she finds you in here—”
“And there you go trying to protect me.” He cocked his head. “What a strange female you are.”
“I’m marrying Adam.”
“So I’ve noticed. Disappointing, after your convincing protest in the kitchen only hours ago. But I’m not surprised. He’s devastatingly handsome.” He smiled, looking exactly like his brother.
“He wouldn’t be happy if he finds you here.”
“He also won’t be able to do anything. He’s weak. Sentenced to his home after dawn, dependent on your blood, moody.”
“Don’t you have any symptoms?”
He raised a br
ow. “Today, I stood facing the horizon as the sun set. I wanted the pain. I wanted to feel anything aside from your rejection last night.”
“And?”
“And all I feel is misery. So, I’ll ask again. What do you want, Annalise?”
“I want to help you.”
He raised a brow and glanced to the bed. “Wonderful. Shall I strip you of your wedding clothes, or should I wait until after you’ve promised your life to my brother?”
“I’m not going to bond with you.”
“So just another cock-tease then.”
“You don’t scare me. And I believe you won’t hurt me.” She gasped as his hand closed around her neck, his fingers spanning her throat and squeezing ever so slightly.
“Then you’re a fool. I could snap your neck and not feel anything but justified, knowing he could never have you anymore than I could.”
She swallowed, the motion restricted by his hold. “Then do it.”
His eyes narrowed. “Foolish woman.”
He released her and paced across the room. His agile steps told her he had no symptoms of vertigo.
“I don’t want you to leave.”
He laughed without humor. “You’ll have to do something more than bat your pretty eyes to convince me to stay.” He glanced down her front. “Give me a few minutes and I might convince you to call the wedding off.”
“That’s not happening.”
“Then I’m not staying. He’ll have to do without me in the crowd.”
“He wants to help you.”
“Lies.”
“He gave me his word.”
Cain slowly twisted to face her. “Did he now? Why?”
She flushed.
Understanding dawned and his mouth opened in a smile. “You bargained with him.” He crossed the room before she saw him move. “And now you’re dressed in blue.” He leaned over her, causing her to arch into the deep windowsill. “Why, Anna? What redemption has my cruelty earned?”
“I don’t think you’re innately cruel. I think you’re desperate.”
His hand snaked around her back, pulling her closer. “Do you now?”
“And I don’t think you want to betray your brother more than you already have.”
“If you were my wife, I’d lock you up. You’re playing with fire, pet.”
Original Sin (The Order of Vampires Book 1) Page 36
