by Ella M. Lee
“Yeah, it is, actually,” I said.
Daniel gave me a half wince and said, “He’s, uh, not really a nice guy or anything, but we get along.”
“On a scale from one to ten, how much does he hate me?” I asked.
“Probably around a seven, but that’s not personal,” Daniel said. “He just doesn’t like anyone.”
Dan pressed a hand to the wards on Nicolas’s door, and the shield evaporated. I stared at him with wide eyes.
“Disabler ward, keyed to me,” Daniel explained. “Nicolas left it so that I could bring you back here.”
The apartment was cold and still and empty. I noticed the cover was off the piano.
“Does Sylvio report to you too?” I asked.
“No,” he said. “Sylvio is a fighter. He reported to Andres. I only manage intelligence-oriented group members. Sylvio is one of Nicolas’s original group members, so they go way back.”
“Who is Irina?” I asked carefully.
Daniel frown slightly. “She’s our group’s healer. She’s also good at intelligence, so she reports to me. She and Andres were… I don’t know what you’d call it. Lovers? Casually dating?”
I flinched. “I see,” I whispered, unable to figure out what else to say.
“She’ll be okay,” Daniel said. “I think. I hope. She’s grieving, but she’s been in the clan for a long time. She understands these things, deep down. She’s mad at Nico right now—for letting you live and keeping you here—but she knows he always has solid plans. They have a very complicated relationship that I try to stay out of whenever I can.”
I looked away. “How many people are in your group?”
“Ten, with Andres gone. Not counting Nicolas,” he said. “Teng, Cameron, Farhad, and Irina report to me. Ryan, Sylvio, Chandra, Keisha, and Athena report to Nicolas.”
I danced on the balls of my feet, unable to speak. That was a lot of people who probably hated me.
Daniel seemed to sense my concerns. “Hey,” he said gently. “If this goes well for you—and it will—then it’s Nicolas’s job to smooth over the group dynamics. Don’t worry about that part yet. Your job is to impress me and Nicolas and possibly Ryan. Got it?”
“Got it,” I said shakily.
“Go shower,” he said, waving me off and flopping onto the couch. “You look like you could use ten minutes alone to pull yourself together. I’m not surprised. Sylvio and Teng intimidate everyone.”
Daniel was right. Being alone helped me unwind, especially knowing that Nicolas wasn’t right outside the door, privy to my every thought.
Today hadn’t been so bad. I could see a world where I lived here and worked with Daniel. It wasn’t the life I thought I’d have, but it looked more possible than I might have originally imagined.
Impress Daniel, Nicolas, and Ryan. I could probably do that.
I thought I’d done reasonably well with Ryan. At the very least, he seemed to have accepted my awkward apology and seemed to be willing to give me a chance.
Daniel’s opinion of me had come a long way since the first few minutes we had known one another, when he had glared at me and hit me. Our time together since had been practically relaxing, and I got the distinct impression that he had liked working with me today.
The best part of all was that Nicolas didn’t appear to have changed his mind about me. Despite all he had been through this week, he had remained encouraging about my situation.
“Did I pass your test today?” I asked Daniel, joining him on the couch sometime later, feeling more grounded.
“Yeah,” he said, studying me with a relaxed expression and half-closed eyes. “You’ve been trained well. I think you and I could learn a lot from each other.”
“Thanks,” I said, appreciating the compliment. “What were you and Nicolas talking about at the end?”
He laughed. “Heard your name?” he asked. “I was just telling Nicolas what we did before he arrived and what I thought of your skills. Then he asked me to bring you back here. It really wasn’t that interesting, I promise. Nicolas just likes to speak Cantonese and slips into it with me.”
“It doesn’t bother me,” I said. “I’m not part of your group. You’re allowed to keep things from me. Nicolas certainly does. He seems to enjoy acting mysterious. He’s like some sort of crazy supervillain with all the vague mystique.”
“And since when am I required to enlighten you about all my plans?” Daniel mimicked in a close approximation of Nicolas’s low drawl.
I laughed. “Exactly. He’s fucking unnerving. He constantly answers my thoughts, which I can’t imagine anyone would enjoy.”
“Does he really?” Daniel asked. He grimaced. “He normally doesn’t respond to people’s thoughts. He likes to hear what you want him to hear out loud. If I had to guess, he’s not doing it to unnerve you. He’s doing it because you’re not comfortable speaking with him yet. He will like you more if you just talk to him like a normal person.”
I nodded, feeling relieved. I’d guessed correctly regarding his mind-reading and his own feelings about it.
“And if he doesn’t answer a spoken question?” Daniel asked. “That usually means he’s not free to say the answer, or it means there’s something wrong with the question. Try to be very specific, and try rephrasing if he doesn’t answer.”
“Thanks. I’m slowly figuring it out, I think. We’ll see what his mood is like today.”
“He’s not moody,” Daniel said. “I don’t know where he gets his patience, but he’s very calculated about everything. Keep that in mind when you see him do something you don’t understand. It probably makes sense in some context that he understands.”
“Yeah, okay,” I said.
Daniel and I lounged silently for a while, eating smoked almonds out of the jar on Nicolas’s coffee table. I was tired and spent but not exhausted in the same way I had been when I first arrived here. The knot in my chest was slowly undoing itself, and although I was still nervous, I couldn’t help but think my position was less precarious than it had been while staring down Nicolas from a shielded cell.
It was an hour longer before Nicolas returned. Daniel had been graciously translating the Hong Kong news for me, and we both looked up when Nicolas came through the door.
“Dan,” he said, studying us for a moment, “you’re off the hook. Tell Jacks that I said hello.”
Daniel stood. “Bye-bye, Fi!”
He was out the door in a moment, casting me a single encouraging smile over his shoulder as he went.
I watched as Nicolas continued into the bathroom and shut the door. I sighed. I wished Daniel hadn’t left, but I couldn’t expect him to dig me out of all of my problems. He had already been kind enough to give me advice about Nicolas and had spoken to Nicolas positively on my behalf.
I had to figure out the rest myself, and that meant working on connecting with Nicolas. I waited patiently for him to reemerge, trying to think of something to say. Every option sounded dumb.
“How… how are you?” I asked hastily when the door opened.
I drew back. Nicolas was wearing only a towel, slung low around his waist. His torso was pale and muscled and unblemished except for two identical white scars, one on each side of his sternum near the bottom of his rib cage, shaped like small coins.
His hair was even messier than usual, wet and dripping, and his expression was the slightest bit amused. He looked younger and a little content.
And incredibly attractive.
I froze, really wishing I hadn’t thought that.
“I’m fine,” he said, smiling. “And you?”
“Good, thank you,” I replied, feeling very awkward.
But he merely continued on toward the bedroom as though nothing odd had happened. When he was past me, I could see that his back was covered in a magnificent tattoo: a dragon, half in flight, ornate and beautiful. It rippled with his movements, the black ink powerful and elegant on his skin.
I shifted nervously on the co
uch until he was dressed and styled again. I thought he would continue to ignore me, but he came to join me on the couch.
“Thank you for sharing your story with me and Daniel earlier,” he said after a few moments. “I understand more about the strength and determination you’ve shown here.”
I didn’t respond. I didn’t feel strong or determined right now. I still felt on the verge of giving up, and Daniel had called me pathetic earlier. But these words from Nicolas sounded like a compliment, and I would take what I could get.
“Will I ever hear your story?” I asked. “You and Ryan have both made it sound exciting and mysterious.”
He smirked briefly. “Someday.”
I shook my head. Of course. Nicolas never said anything he didn’t want to. I was sure telling me about himself was wrapped in some plan as well.
“Did Daniel have nice things to say about me?” I asked.
“He did,” Nicolas said. “I have to admit, I knew Daniel would come around to you, but I didn’t think he’d come around so quickly. I didn’t know the two of you would connect so well, but I’m happy for it. Daniel needs a friend. You both do.”
“I hope he doesn’t get too attached yet,” I said, looking away.
“Daniel has good instincts,” Nicolas said.
“Thanks for letting me spend the day with him,” I said cautiously.
“Dan has been in your situation before,” Nicolas said. “He knows how to keep you together better than I do.”
I looked at him in surprise. “That’s not true. You do a better job than you think. You took me outside. I’ve been here for seven days, and that’s been the only thing that’s truly made me happy all week.”
He pressed his lips into a thin line, studying me with understanding eyes. “You should have said something. I’m not opposed to doing things that make you happy.”
“Are you joking?” I said, my mouth falling open. “You must know how intimidating you are. I’m hardly in a position to be asking you for anything.”
“And if you dared ask me for something, what would it be?”
“What… what happened to the bodies of my groupmates? Lars, Violet, Damon?” I asked.
The question was out of my mouth before I could consider it, before I could wonder if it was a stupid idea to ask, before I had even begun to think of why that particular question had been bothering me. Nicolas seemed taken aback by the question, and I was shocked that I could surprise him.
“I had them burned, as I thought would be appropriate for members of Flame,” he said quietly. “I also lit incense for them at the temple, as is my own ritual for the dead. They were my enemies, but they were magicians initiated into our world. We are all siblings in that regard, and they deserved respect from me.”
His words hit me like a punch to the gut, but I appreciated his honesty, and I appreciated that he had put my friends to rest in a dignified way. I swallowed, trying to find something to say as my vision swam.
“Thank you, that was kind of you,” I said, clearing my throat. “And thank you for your answer. I won’t… I won’t bother you anymore tonight.”
Nicolas’s expression was thoughtful and intent. “You don’t bother me. On the contrary, you are incredibly interesting. I asked you for one request, and you made it about others. You could have asked me for anything. Hell, you could have asked me point blank for your own life. But you asked about your friends. Why?”
“I don’t think you’d be swayed so easily by me begging for my life, or that I could say or do anything to derail your plans,” I said. “I picked a request I thought you’d reasonably honor. I just wanted some closure, even if there is no solace to take from it.”
“Aren’t you concerned for your own fate?” Nicolas asked.
“Of course. Who wouldn’t be? I know how poorly this could go,” I said. “If I get a second request, can it be to ask for an easy method of execution? Something quick and painless. I really don’t want to drown, for instance. That sounds awful.”
Nicolas hadn’t dropped his calm and appraising look, but his eyes widened slightly as I spoke. He crossed his arms over his chest.
“Are you still so certain it will come to that?” he asked.
I shrugged. “What do they say? Hope for the best, plan for the worst.”
“In that case,” he said, “I’d be happy to grant your request. There are many quick, painless ways to die, and should we end up at that outcome, I will give you the kindest options.”
He looked unhappy, his shoulders tense and his eyes darker than usual and full of worry.
“Would you like to hear a more hopeful request?” I asked, trying to figure out how I could cheer him up.
Yes, that sounded a lot like me: attempting to comfort someone who had just told me he had many ways to kill me mercifully.
Stupid Fiona.
“That would be nice,” he said.
“If this whole thing has a happier ending, will you take me to burn incense for my friends? That’s something they would have liked.”
He nodded. “Yes, I will.”
“And if this does go poorly? Will you burn incense for me, too?”
His eyes hadn’t left mine for this entire agonizing conversation, but they had now lost all expression. I had been trying to get a reaction out of him. I didn’t like his deadly calm right now, didn’t like that he had shifted into cold professionalism when talking about my possible execution.
Nicolas wasn’t easily baited.
He simply blinked at me and said, “Évidemment.”
I didn’t speak French, but that one was a relatively understandable cognate to English. His tone had sounded sarcastic and exasperated. Obviously, you idiot, he had just implied.
“You are the best,” I said wearily, lying down and closing my eyes.
Talking about this was exhausting. Being here with Nicolas was one exhausting minute after another. I was getting used to shivering in a tiny ball on his couch—the most constant thing about my life right now.
Nicolas didn’t say anything else, but several minutes later he flung a blanket over me, smoothing it over my back carefully. I spent the rest of the evening trying to distract myself from thinking about what his quick and painless execution options might be and what he might look like lighting incense at a temple.
I was mostly asleep sometime later when I felt Nicolas lift me into his arms. I tensed, struggling, adrenaline shooting through me as I irrationally imagined all the horrible places he could possibly be taking me.
“Hush,” he said. “I’m merely bringing you to bed.”
He carried me as though I weighed nothing at all and deposited me gently on the cool sheets.
“Lamb,” he said, leaning close to speak in my ear, “I want you to stop worrying so much about your future. Sleep well. Things are not nearly so dire as you believe.”
I couldn’t find the energy to respond, but I tried to let the words settle in me as I drifted back to sleep, my thoughts lingering on the very gentle tone of Nicolas’s voice.
Chapter 21
The little brass clock read 11:38 when I finally bothered to open my eyes to the day. I dragged myself through polite greetings with Nicolas and a shower, which didn’t help my lethargy. It was well past noon before I even considered Nicolas’s offer to get lunch.
Our system for leaving the apartment was becoming familiar. Nicolas transitioned into what I came to think of as his “outside persona,” and I dragged my eyes down to the floor and kept them there as we walked.
We headed back to the top-floor café, Aria, for a late lunch. It had a light afternoon crowd, mostly clan members lazing around and chatting after their meal.
Abruptly, I heard a familiar voice to our right.
“Nico! Come join me.”
Derek.
Why the fuck do I always manage to run into him? I thought.
Nicolas’s voice was in my mind, sharp and annoyed. No idea. I’m as displeased as you are.
Nico rolled his eyes briefly before turning. I glanced up. Derek was seated at a high-top table by himself. Nicolas towed me in that direction. I didn’t have to pretend to stumble along behind him, slightly annoyed at his treatment.
He sat me first and took the seat next to me, across from Derek.
“What can I do for you?” he said, his tone clipped.
“You’ve been ignoring my texts,” Derek said with a mock pout. “Busy much?”
His eyes slid to me. Nicolas, to his credit, didn’t take the bait.
“Well?” Nicolas asked impatiently.
Derek’s look was serious and intense. “I’d really like you to consider holding the meeting this week. Candice is here, as is Aidan. You know they wouldn’t want to miss it.”
“Yes, all your faction is here while mine is absent,” Nicolas drawled. “It’s too bad you can’t call the meeting yourself. Perhaps you should have been graced with my gifts.”
I could see that Nicolas was enjoying Derek’s seething, but his needling made me nervous. Nicolas clearly believed he could handle Derek, but Derek’s deadly look frightened me.
“Who is your candidate for chairman?” Derek asked.
“Angie, of course. The very idea that it would be you or Candice is absurd,” Nicolas said.
“Not the little red-haired toad who does your dirty work? I’ve heard a rumor you’re putting him up for a commander nomination,” Derek said, rolling his eyes.
I bristled at his words, remembering all of Daniel’s recent kindness toward me, remembering how he’d guarded me. Derek’s eyes went to me as though he noticed my discomfort, and he smiled.
“Daniel has his place,” Nicolas replied easily.
“Be careful you don’t start losing lieutenants as quickly as you lose slaves,” Derek said, and my heart nearly stopped, wondering what Nicolas’s reaction would be.
But Nicolas merely smiled. “Oh, I plan on having this one for a long time.”
He touched my cheek gently with his fingers, sweeping them down my bare neck as he studied me for a moment. I tensed, staring straight ahead at nothing. I was getting somewhat used to Nicolas and Daniel handling me physically, but it repulsed me that Nicolas was using his touch as a weapon in front of Derek.
