Her Reluctant Highlander Husband (Clan MacKinlay)

by Hanson, Allison B.

  He came to stand before her, lifting his gaze to meet hers. “I used to run away when I’d upset Maggie, to give us time to calm down and speak without angry words between us.” He ran his hand over his hair. “I deserve your angry words. I deserve to have you yell and call me horrible names. But you won’t, because you won’t talk to me.”

  He looked toward the door and then back to her. Gazing at her intently, he said, “I know you can speak. I heard you talk to your dog. I even heard ye singing one day when I came to see you.”

  She gasped, eyes going wide with distress. He’d been at the cottage? He’d heard her when she thought she was alone?

  He took her hand and guided her closer. She let him, though she was trembling inwardly.

  “I’m sorry for yelling, for accusing you of something you didn’t do. In truth, I should have given you those things in the trunk. They aren’t doing anyone any good in there. I’m sorry I’ve been a bastard to you. I’ve been so intent on keeping everyone at a distance, I hadn’t realized what an arse I’ve become.”

  He took her other hand and rubbed circles on the back with his thumbs. It was a pleasant feeling and she relaxed, moving toward him slightly. When he released her hand, it was to place his fingers gently on her cheek. She watched his eyes, waiting for his mood to shift again. She didn’t expect him to lean in closer.

  “Can you forgive me for yelling?”

  She nodded. Forgiving him was an easy thing to do.

  It wasn’t until his warm lips were pressed to hers that she realized his plan had been to kiss her.

  A small sound left her throat. If he hadn’t already known she could speak, it might have given her away. He made an answering noise, as if they were creating their own form of communication.

  She enjoyed the way his mouth fit against hers. The way his lips moved over hers. Small nibbles at the edges of her mouth. Then his tongue teased at the seam of her lips and she parted them.

  The small opening she offered was breached by his tongue, and it searched her mouth. His actions startled her at first, not knowing the ways of kissing since this was only the second time in her life, but when it seemed as though he wanted her to participate, she reached out with her own tongue and stroked his.

  The sound he made this time was much louder and filled with need.

  His arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her against him. Her hands had still been holding up her gown, but she dropped it and trailed her fingers up over his large shoulders to his neck so she could twine them in his hair. Her dress slipped dangerously low on her breasts.

  She was lost. She’d seen people kissing before, but it hadn’t looked like this. She’d seen men and women as they slipped away to their rooms or to the darkness of the forest.

  She’d been too young to want to know what happened when they were alone. But now she wished she’d had someone to tell her the way of things so she knew what to expect.

  “Have you lain with a man?” he asked, pulling away.

  She shook her head, her breath coming fast as if she’d been running or hiding.

  “I know you were supposed to be a virgin when we were wed, but it wouldn’t matter to me if you were or were not. I only ask to be sure you know what is done.”

  She shook her head again but held on to his arm, hoping he wouldn’t leave.

  He rested his forehead against hers and offered a soft smile. “Very well. We’ll go slow,” he whispered.

  Slow? She might not know what she wanted, but she was fairly certain it wasn’t to go slow. Not with the way her heart pounded and her breath quickened. She felt jittery, ready for something amazing to happen.

  But she allowed him to do as he wished, since he had more experience with such things. Slowly, he peeled her dress from her body and helped her out of her boots. Then he took her hair down, running his fingers through it.

  Something deep inside her throbbed and ached. What was he doing to her? She was as terrified as she was intrigued. Whatever being a real wife entailed, she wanted it. Very much.

  She leaned closer and kissed him. She felt his lips pull up against hers and enjoyed the feeling of knowing she’d brought a smile to the face of this normally stoic man.

  When he pulled away she made a sound of complaint, and the smile grew, causing a small dimple to form on the left side of his mouth.

  She’d thought her husband attractive, formidable, and handsome. But now she also thought him incredibly adorable. He looked almost boyish when he grinned like that.

  Then he moved away from her. She reached for him, wanting him in her arms again, but he reached behind his neck and tugged his shirt over his head. He took a step closer when she held out her hand and allowed her to run her palm down his chest, over the hard ridges of his stomach.

  Her hand was stopped by his belt. She frowned down at the fabric of his kilt that was keeping her from seeing and touching every part of him.

  With a wink he reached past her hand and unfastened his belt. “Don’t be afraid when you see me. It will be all right, I promise.”

  She nodded that she understood, but when his kilt dropped to his feet, she did not understand at all.

  A hard length of flesh shot up toward her, causing her to yelp with surprise. She’d never seen such a thing. Her own body surely wasn’t built like that.

  Her confusion must have shown on her face. After another laugh, he took her hand and placed it on the part of him that was so different from her.

  He groaned, but the smile remained on his face, proving he enjoyed the torment. She looked down at the odd thing, noticing how smooth it was, as if the skin had never been touched by the sun or any harshness the world had to offer.

  She gasped when she recalled something similar Millie had said about her husband’s cock.

  So, this was a cock.

  And she was touching it. If she remembered correctly, he would be putting it inside her.

  Inside? Nay. That wasn’t possible.

  And another thing… Millie had said she was to put her mouth on it. Good lord. How would she ever fit this into her mouth?

  Her breath, which had already been coming quickly, picked up speed until she felt she might faint with panic.

  “Calm down,” he said softly. “I’m not sure what you’ve heard about what happens next, but I promise you, all will be well.”

  She didn’t see how. She needed to leave. Her body might enjoy his touch—more than enjoy it, to be honest—but what was to happen next would be too much.

  But before she could flee, he reached up and cupped one of her breasts. She froze and made another sound as the ache she’d been feeling in her heavy breasts eased slightly.

  “Do you like when I touch you here?”

  She did. She nodded quickly so he would know how very much she liked it. He bent and placed his mouth over the peak, using his tongue to rasp a particularly sensitive area. Blissful sensation shivered through her. She whimpered and nearly lost her balance.

  His arms found her and held her steady, somehow without releasing his mouth. He walked toward the bed and she suddenly realized her feet were off the floor. She had a feeling of floating, and then he leaned her over the edge of the bed and fell on top of her. But she didn’t feel smashed by his weight, she felt only the warmth of his skin on hers as he held himself above her.

  He moved to her other breast, and she wiggled on the bed, unsure how to ask for what she wanted, even if she were willing to speak. There were no words for what she needed. At least none that she knew.

  She’d been so focused on what his mouth was doing, she hadn’t realized his hand had moved down her body. She sucked in a breath when he pushed one of his fingers inside her, filling a place she hadn’t known existed. The pleasure made her cry out in surprise.

  “Do ye like that?”

  Another nod.

 
“When you’re ready, I’m going to put this part of me here in this spot,” he said as he took her hand and pressed it against the hard bulge.

  She had no idea how mating worked. Being locked in her room, she’d never even had the opportunity to see animals doing it. His explanation seemed a bit preposterous, but she trusted him, and she did like the way he’d made her feel thus far.

  She was sure she would like whatever came next as well. Certainly the women in the kitchen seemed to like it.

  He shifted and slid a second finger inside her. He waited and she relaxed as her body acclimated to the feeling. When he still didn’t move, she pressed down, relying on instincts to direct her. She pulled her hips back and pushed forward again, moaning at the pleasure building deep inside her.

  He whispered words, but she didn’t hear all of them. The ones she was able to focus on told her to seek out what felt good. To enjoy the moment.

  In truth, she hadn’t a clue what was happening. She was simply dizzy with the sensations. Something unfamiliar was building inside her, and every thrust of his hand brought her closer to whatever it was.

  He moved his fingers.

  It was the slightest change in angle, but it was enough to push her all the way over whatever mountain she’d been climbing.

  But instead of falling, she flew.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Bryce felt as if he’d been caught in a whirlwind. He’d kissed Dorie as a means of apology. As a way to let her know he was sorry for jumping to the wrong conclusions.

  To be honest, the only reason he’d been mad was because he’d felt weak for not giving her the brush and comb from the trunk right away. It had been selfish of him to withhold something she’d needed when he had it to offer. Worse, he wasn’t even certain he was still thinking of the blasted brush and comb.

  He’d wanted Dorie to know he did care about her. At least as much as he was able to. But it hadn’t taken long for him to get caught up in the kiss, and he’d found himself removing her clothes and easing her back on their bed.

  Now he was lying between her thighs, his cock lined up to her hot center as he prepared her to become his wife in every way.

  He’d not felt like this since…Maggie. He could remember it now, at least. Though now was mayhap not the time he should remember such things. But he could think about what it had been like with Maggie and still enjoy kissing Dorie, knowing it was different.

  Good. Better than good, but still different.

  Dorie was tall, which meant she lined up with him perfectly. He could press himself against her warmth and look into her blue eyes at the same time. He hooked her legs around his waist and placed his forehead against hers in an effort to calm himself.

  It wouldn’t do to rush the moment. There was no way to avoid hurting her briefly, but he could control himself so he didn’t make it worse than it needed to be.

  He was shocked when she used her long legs to pull herself up, sinking him farther into her. She wiggled impatiently, driving him mad with wanting to plunge into her heat in one thrust.

  The way she responded to every touch made him want to touch her more, just to see her reactions.

  “There will be a bit of pain when I push into you all the way, but it will be over quickly. If you don’t want to, we don’t have to.”

  She looked at him with her wide blue eyes and he saw the trust there. She moved against him again.

  He pulled away in preparation, and she made a noise of protest.

  “I’m not going anywhere, lass.” He wouldn’t have been able to leave her if the castle were under attack.

  “Before we go any further, I need something from you,” he said.

  She looked up at him, waiting.

  “I need you to speak to me. I need you to tell me you want this.”

  She was quick to reach between them and make a cross over her heart. It was a valiant effort, but he shook his head. “Can you speak, love?”

  She glanced away and then back to face him. She nodded.

  “I’m sure there’s a reason you’ve chosen not to for all this time, but I’ll not have silence any longer between us. Do you understand?”

  “I do,” she whispered. It was as if they were starting over with the first words she should have spoken at their wedding. Her voice was low and husky, either from lack of use or from passion. Whichever reason, hearing those two words made him burn.

  He kissed her again, a reward for trusting him enough to break her silence. “I know you just started to use your voice, but I’m planning to have you scream with desire before the night is over,” he promised with a smile.

  Her wide eyes went even wider as he nudged closer between her legs, but passion overtook her fear. She moaned and gripped him tighter.

  Maggie had also been a virgin when he’d bedded her. At the time he’d thought it best to go slow, but later he’d thought maybe that wasn’t the best way. It had just taken longer to get past it.

  He decided to go about things differently with Dorie. He waited for her to open her eyes and look at him. He smiled, hoping to reassure her.

  “I’m going to make it quick.” He paused to clarify. “The painful part. Not the good part.”

  She gave a slight nod and then a more determined, “Aye.”

  He kissed her hard, at the same time pushing inside her the whole way, claiming her as his wife.

  Softening the kiss, he held still to give her a moment to relax and took that time to caress her mouth with his tongue. Her fingers clutched his hair, holding him to her. But it was unnecessary. He had no plans to leave. Instead, he continued to kiss her until she shifted restlessly. He knew she was ready for more when she whimpered in frustration and pushed up from the bed as if to ease a need.

  “Are you ready for the good part?” he asked, and she nodded.

  When he waited, she swallowed and answered, “Please.” The yearning in her voice nearly did him in, but he’d promised it would be good.

  He’d told her the good part wouldn’t be quick. Why had he made such a foolish promise? It had been so long since he’d lain with a woman he’d probably spend in less than a minute. She was so tight around him he could barely stand it.

  He moved out of her, watching for any sign of pain. When he saw none, he pushed forward again. She groaned in pleasure, saying his name.

  He murmured her name as well and was surprised when it didn’t bring the usual guilt and sadness with it. Building on the welcome freedom, he whispered other words of praise and encouragement. He told her how wonderful she felt under him, how lovely it sounded when she moaned. How he would never tire of hearing his name spoken in her sweet voice.

  Her breathing came faster, and when she tensed in pleasure, he thrust deep inside her, feeling the pulses of her body drawing him to his own release. He hadn’t made it last all that long, but thankfully it had been long enough.

  He collapsed next to her afterward, tossing his damp hair out of his face so he could watch her reaction to what had just happened between them. When she tilted her head to smile up at him, he allowed the joy he felt to pull his lips up into an answering smile.

  Unfortunately, his happiness was short lived. It didn’t take long for the guilt and pain to return in a rush. He pulled her against him so she wouldn’t see the hurt in his eyes.

  What had he done? This was not at all what he’d planned for. He’d wanted the act to be cool and devoid of tender feelings. It had been anything but that.

  Worse, all he could think of as he lay next to her was, what if he’d planted a babe in her belly? Of course he was aware of the possibility. It was the reason for the act in the first place. But he worried what would happen if Dorie had a child. It was unfair that he wasn’t able to love Dorie the way she deserved; he wouldn’t be able to stand it if he disappointed an innocent child as well.

  He took a
shaky breath and forced himself to calm down. He would decide how to handle the situation if it came to that. For now, he wanted to know more about the woman in his arms.

  “Will you tell me why you chose not to speak?”

  …

  Despite Dorie’s exhaustion, she felt something stir in her core. How could she still want Bryce after all they’d done already? It was probably the way he looked at her while tracing his fingers down her arm. So…meltingly open and warm.

  Her cheeks heated from the memories as she cleared her throat to answer his question.

  It felt strange to speak so openly. She’d used her voice over the years, but never in front of anyone. Except her dog.

  She didn’t want her husband to know what she’d done. She didn’t want him to hate her. But she was tired of carrying around this terrible secret. The weight of her guilt labored every breath she took. It was time to confess.

  “The last time I spoke, I killed my mother,” she said quietly.

  As expected, his face showed his shock and confusion.

  She swallowed and explained. “I was nine when I overheard my mother and my aunt—her sister—talking one day. I’d been playing under a shrub and they didn’t know I was there. My aunt told my mother she could no longer send letters for her. That the affair had gone on long enough, and that nothing was ever to come of it. Of course, I had no idea what they were speaking about. But then my mother pointed toward the castle. And she said, aye, something had come of it. Me.”

  Bryce sat up, looking at her more intently, but didn’t interrupt.

  She couldn’t stop now. She had to get it out. She’d had it all bottled up inside of her for too long. She brushed tears aside and pressed on. “My aunt told my mother that it didn’t matter that I was Captain Dorien Sutherland’s daughter. No one could ever know. And there was no use in staying in contact with the man. He lived in London and was to marry another woman. My mother began to weep then, and even as a child I knew it was because she was brokenhearted.”