“We’ll escort you to the castle. Bryce, mayhap you should go prepare Dorie for the viscount’s arrival.”
“Aye.” Bryce nodded and mounted his horse. He tore off for the castle to get there before her father. The man seemed pleasant enough. Bryce could only hope he wasn’t setting Dorie up for more pain. She didn’t need another man to let her down. He knew he was more than enough of a disappointment.
…
Dorie sat on the floor playing with Lizzy when Bryce rushed into the solar. For a moment she worried there was another battle. While it would mean he would have to delay his trip to the Campbells again, she didn’t like this alternative.
“We’ve a visitor,” Bryce relayed, looking only at her.
Normally the duty of delivering messages to the laird’s wife fell to one of the younger boys in the clan. Dorie didn’t understand why Bryce would do such when he was planning to leave.
“Who has come to visit?” Kenna asked excitedly. The woman had no patience for surprises.
Rather than answer, his gaze scanned the room and returned to her. He stepped closer and took the little girl from her arms and passed her to Kenna, whose arms were empty. He reached for Dorie and helped her to her feet.
Something prickled down her spine. The way he hadn’t answered Kenna’s question. The way he was focused only on her.
“You’ll want to come to the bailey,” he said finally. “Your father is on his way.”
Dorie gasped and placed her hand on her chest. “Is he attacking? Are there enough warriors in the castle to defend against a McCurdy assault?” She moved for the door, not knowing what she might do to thwart his plans, but she’d do her best to reason with the man or die trying. This was her home; she would do her part to protect the people she loved.
Bryce shook his head and took her elbow to hold her in place. “We’re not under attack, Dorie. It’s not the McCurdy who rides on the castle. It’s your real father. Dorien Sutherland, Viscount Rutherford. He’s come to see you.”
Dorie blinked as the words surged around her, not making any sense. Finally she pieced them together and nearly fell over. Bryce righted her by wrapping a sturdy arm around her waist.
“He’s here?” she whispered.
“Nearly. I rode ahead to tell you so you could be ready to greet him when he arrives. He’s not far behind me.”
“Do I look all right? Perhaps I should change.” She was wearing her best gown already, though there was dust along the hem where she’d been sitting on the floor with the children.
“You look beautiful. I doubt he will notice what you’re wearing. He’s very excited to meet you.” Bryce offered a tight smile.
“He is? He came all this way, for me?”
“Aye. You have his eyes and they crinkle at the corners when he’s excited just like yours do.”
“My father?” Tears pooled in her eyes and she tried to brush them away. She didn’t want to meet the man with red, puffy eyes. “What should I do? What if he doesn’t like me, Bryce?”
Bryce gave her an indulgent smile. “How could he not like you? Let’s go down to the bailey to meet him. I’ll be standing right beside you, holding your hand. Don’t worry about a thing.” Bryce cleared his throat. “If he says anything unkind, I’ll have him on his back with my blade against his throat before his next breath.”
“Please don’t kill my father,” she said, patting his shoulder. He gave a nod and offered her his arm. She slipped hers through it and he led her down through the hall and out to the bailey just as an elaborate carriage pulled up.
There must have been twenty riders with him in addition to Lach, Cam, and the other warriors from Dunardry. The driver hopped down and reached for the door, but it had already opened and a tall man stepped out, offering a wide smile.
Her feet moved a step, but she held on to Bryce’s arm to help keep her in place. It wouldn’t do to run down the steps and hug him. He was a viscount. He wouldn’t like a strange woman attacking him.
A viscount. She recalled hearing that women were to curtsey to nobility, but she worried she would fall over if she tried such a thing.
Bryce led her closer. “Dorie, this is your father, Dorien Sutherland, Viscount Rutherford. My lord, your daughter, Dorie MacKinlay.”
He’d barely got out the introductions before her father reached for her and drew her into a powerful embrace. Of course she failed to keep from crying. At least she felt better when he finally pulled away and she saw his cheeks were wet with his own tears.
“My child. It’s beyond a pleasure to meet you. Please forgive my showing up unannounced. I didn’t know how to reply to your letter. I just knew I had to come see you for myself.”
“You are forgiven, of course. I’m so glad you’re here. I have so many questions I’d like to ask ye.”
“And you’ll have time to ask every one,” Bryce said. “But let’s get him settled inside first. He’s been traveling and will probably need refreshment.”
“Aye. I’m sorry. I get overly excited about things,” she admitted. Her dog was running in circles in excitement as well. “This is Rascal.”
To her relief her father patted the large dog without fear. “He’s a formidable beast.”
“He doesn’t seem to realize he’s not a small puppy anymore and often tries to climb upon vacant laps.”
“I’ll be sure to keep something on my lap at all times,” he joked.
Her father was teasing her. He was pleasant and smiling. So different from the man who had been called her father. She worried this was all a dream. She’d envisioned her father many ways, but she’d not thought he would be funny. What a wonderful surprise.
Kenna was waiting to greet Dorien inside the hall. She’d sent off the maids to ready a room for him and allowed Dorie to escort him to his chamber.
“The solar is free of children for the moment. I’ll have refreshments sent there so you can visit in private. And we ask for your company at our table for the evening meal.”
“Thank you for your hospitality, my lady. I am grateful for the invitation and look forward to spending time getting to know all of you. After I’ve had time to get to know my daughter, of course.” He smiled again.
“Of course.” Kenna returned the pleasantries. “I can assure you, your daughter looks forward to making your acquaintance.”
“He’s wonderful,” Dorie whispered to Bryce before letting go of his arm to take her father’s.
…
Bryce watched father and daughter leave through the arch at the stairs. He couldn’t help the feeling of unease that pricked along his spine. The man was pleasant enough, and he didn’t think he would hurt Dorie, but something bothered him about the man’s presence.
“She’s so happy,” Kenna said by his side.
“Aye.” It was clear that Dorie was elated to meet her father.
“It looks like you might be visiting London regularly,” Mari added.
“London? I’m not going to London.” Bryce snorted at the very thought.
“Her family is there. If she wants to see them…”
“I’m her family and I am here.” Once he’d made himself clear he bowed and left them to their snickering.
Dorie wouldn’t want to travel all the way to London. She only wanted to know the man. Now that he was here, she’d ask her questions and get her answers, and that would be it.
Even as Bryce thought it, he realized that probably wouldn’t be enough for Dorie. Her only remaining blood relative had been found. A caring, kind father who would want to keep in touch.
“Blast and damn,” he said as he headed for the solar. He found them deep in conversation regarding her father’s long trip to Dunardry. Bryce sat silently in the corner, in case he was needed. But it was clear no one had even noticed him enter.
Once the man finished his ale
and meat pie, he went to the window. It was another thing he had in common with his daughter. Dorie didn’t like being trapped in a room, either.
“I’d forgotten how beautiful Scotland is. When I was here last, I had other distractions.”
Meaning he’d been busy having an affair with a married woman and getting her with child. Bryce didn’t mention it. Everyone knew.
“Would you like to go for a walk? I can show you my new home,” Dorie offered, still beaming with happiness.
“That would be lovely. It’s a mild day.”
Dorie startled when she finally noticed Bryce. “We’re going for a walk.”
“I’ll have to come along to guard you.”
“No need,” Dorien said. “My guards will be with us. They’ll protect Dorie as well as myself.”
“I’m safe with my father,” Dorie said with a wide smile and left Bryce alone as she strode off.
It was true enough she was safe with the man, but Bryce still felt as if something bad was going to happen with the arrival of their new guest.
He could only hope he was wrong.
Chapter Twenty
“How did you meet my mother?” Dorie asked her father as soon as they sat down on a fallen log. Despite the cool breeze, she was happy to be outside, having spent so much of her life indoors.
Rascal ran off to explore as her father smiled and threw a stick for him to chase. The dog wasn’t so great about bringing it back.
It was a good minute before her father answered, but the silence wasn’t awkward. “It was fate, I’m sure. I stopped to get water while she happened to be sitting by the creek crying.”
“Crying? What was wrong?”
“She was newly married and unhappy. She didn’t tell me that day, but later I found out that she’d gotten her courses and the McCurdy wasn’t pleased about it.”
“He wasn’t pleased about many things,” Dorie agreed with a frown as she remembered the man she’d thought was her father. In the early years, he’d offered a smile here and there to her. Occasionally he’d pull her onto his lap and chat with her as if she had great things to share. But most of the time he was too busy for a daughter. Instead, he gave all his attention to Wallace.
“I planned to see her safely back to her home, but she looked at me with eyes the color of moss in the spring, and I was struck. I’d always thought myself honorable. But I fell in love with a married woman. I didn’t care about the consequences. All that mattered was her.”
“And you saw her again?”
His cheeks turned pink and the blush moved up to the tips of his ears. “Every chance I could.”
Dorie thought she understood what he wasn’t saying. She and Bryce had been seeing a lot of each other over the last few months. And they weren’t even in love.
“Eventually my regiment was called away and I was forced to leave her. But not before I made her promise to write me. We’d talked of running away together. We exchanged letters through her sister so the laird wouldn’t find out. For a decade we went on with nothing between us but words on a page. The letters were all the same. Me begging her to meet me, and her telling me she couldn’t yet. She wanted to come to me as a free woman so we could be wed, so she was waiting for the laird to die.”
Dorie wished it had been the laird who had died. Not that Wallace would have been much better, but at least she and her mother could have left to live with her real father. They might have been happy.
“I was willing to wait for her, only because she never told me about you. I would have come immediately if I’d known we shared a child. When I found myself strapped with a title, our plans changed. I needed to marry for duty. I thought perhaps that was why she’d stopped writing. I didn’t blame her.”
He let out a breath and frowned at the stick Rascal had returned to him.
“Eventually your aunt wrote to tell me she had died.”
“She didn’t die,” Dorie said, taking a breath. She could only hope her father wouldn’t hate her for what she needed to tell him next, but she had to confess. “She was killed, and it was all my fault.”
She spilled the entire story and waited for her father’s anger. If it hadn’t been for Dorie, her mother might have, one day, been able to leave and join him.
Dorie knew the reason her mother had never left in all the years Dorien had begged her to run away with him. The laird would have hunted her down if she’d taken Dorie. At least as long as he believed her to be his child. Dorie’s mother never would have left her. Not even to spend her life with her true love.
The familiar guilt washed over Dorie, nearly drowning her.
“I’m so sorry. I’m the reason you weren’t able to be together.”
“Shhh. It’s not your fault. Sometimes things don’t work out the way one thinks they should. I got married to a wonderful woman. We have four children that have brought joy to my life.”
“But it’s not the same as having someone you love, as you did my mother.”
He frowned and shook his head. “I will not lie to you. I still think of your mother every day. I miss her as I would miss a limb or a part of my heart. Having you in my life eases some of that pain. It’s like having a part of her. A part of us.”
“But your wife? Isn’t she upset that you have a child with another woman?” Dorie couldn’t bring herself to say the word bastard, though that was what she was.
His smile seemed strained. “It wasn’t a love match, at least not for me. We respect one another and I care for her deeply. She actually encouraged me to come here when I told her of you.”
“She loves you?” Dorie guessed.
“I think so, yes.” He frowned, and Dorie assumed he felt guilty that he wasn’t able to love her back.
She felt a wave of sympathy for the woman. Dorie had been trying so hard not to expect anything from Bryce. She’d done her best to protect her heart, knowing he couldn’t offer her anything in return but a warm bed. But she loved him. And it hurt to know he didn’t love her back.
“I understand,” she said. “Not what you’re feeling, but what your wife is. I’m in love with a man who canna love me the way you loved my mother. He gave his heart to his first wife and their child. When they died, they took his heart with them. There’s nothing left for me.”
“I hate that I cannot feel for Harriet the way I felt for your mother. It’s just the way of things, I guess. I don’t want that for you. I don’t want you to have to settle for the fragments of someone’s broken heart.”
“At times I think perhaps it’s not important, that maybe I could love him enough for both of us. But I do wonder what it would be like to have more.” She shook her head. “He treats me well enough. Being here at Dunardry is better than I ever expected. Much better than my life with the McCurdys.”
“Well enough is not what I want for my daughter,” he said, his brows pulling together as he threw the stick for her dog. “I wish you to be happy.”
She understood his displeasure but didn’t think there was anything to be done. She was married to Bryce. It didn’t matter if her father liked it or not, it was legal and consummated.
“Tell me about my sisters and brothers,” she said to change the topic.
A proud smile pulled up on his face and he told her about all of them. The oldest, Philip, was nine. Nadia was seven. The twins, Geneva and George, only five.
“Geneva looks like you. Like me.” He smiled. His eyes went wide. “Perhaps you could return to England to meet them. We’re staying at my estate right now.”
“I couldn’t. They would hate me.”
He chuckled. “They wouldn’t hate you. They’d be surprised, yes, but they would give you a chance. I’m sure you would become great friends with all of them.”
“But I would disgrace you. I’m illegitimate. And Scottish.” She added the last part when he didn�
�t seem deterred by the first.
Again he chuckled. “I’m not sure there’s a member of the peerage who doesn’t have illegitimate issue. As far as being Scottish, it’s not a crime.”
It might not be, but Marian had told her stories of how the English treated Scots. Mari even sounded English, and they’d still teased her about her accent.
“I’m married,” she reminded him. “I belong here.”
He nodded and let it drop. They returned to the keep for supper and the laird kept her father’s attention for most of the meal.
Bryce didn’t say much as they ate. Now that she knew how she felt about him, it was difficult to look him in the eye. She feared he might see her affection when he looked at her.
He’d warned her he couldn’t give her more, and she’d foolishly fallen for him anyway. She couldn’t let him find out.
…
That night when Bryce came to bed, Dorie was in bed staring at the ceiling. She’d hardly said a word at dinner. And now he noticed she wasn’t able to look at him.
There was a time when he would wonder what she was thinking, but time had cured him of patience so he sat on the bed and took off his boots before turning to her and asking directly, “What’s the matter?”
Her eyes darted toward him quickly and away again. “I’m just trying to grasp the fact that I have family again. A father. It’s wonderful.”
“Aye. But it doesn’t explain why you refuse to look me in the eye. Or why you’re so quiet.”
She let out a breath and bit her bottom lip for a moment. If she didn’t look so serious, he might have considered leaning over to take a nibble for himself, but he refrained, waiting for her to gather her courage to tell him what was bothering her.
“My father was in love with my mother. Gave his heart to her. He’s married now, but it’s clear he doesn’t feel anything but respect and friendship for my stepmother, even though she loves him.”
“I see.” Bryce didn’t say anything for a moment. He wasn’t sure what to say. She was obviously making comparisons between him and her father. Did that mean she and her stepmother had something in common as well? Was Dorie telling him she was in love with a man who didn’t love her back?
Her Reluctant Highlander Husband (Clan MacKinlay) Page 16
