“She is?” He looked at her. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. What did you say? I must have missed it.”
“I want to go home.” The words came out in a gush.
“I’m sure I would have noticed if you’d said that.” He frowned and shook his head.
Dorie patted his hand. “I’m sorry. I know you had plans for me. But in truth, I want the life I had. I was happy there.”
“He told you he couldn’t love you as you deserved,” her father reminded her.
Not that she had forgotten.
“But he did love me in the way that he could. He might not ever say the words, but I know there’s something there in his heart. And I let it go because I thought love must be some big glorious thing. But sometimes it’s not. Sometimes it’s simple, yet just as wonderful.”
Tears started down her cheeks. All these months she’d cried because she hadn’t been wanted. This time it was for the loss of something she’d willingly given up.
“You’re exhausted from talking to all those ninnies. We’ll speak in the morning and decide what to do. Rest tonight.”
She nodded, not just to appease him, but because it was good advice and she was tired.
It was nearly midnight when they arrived home. Her father helped her down as a shadow moved closer to the carriage. In the light from the lantern she saw a large man approach and gasped in surprise.
“What are you doing here?” her father asked.
Bryce bowed in front of them and stood there, towering over all of them. “I’ve come to ask ye for your daughter’s hand in marriage.”
Chapter Thirty
Bryce knew it was much too late in the evening for such discussions. He’d planned to stay in the stables until the morning. But when the carriage had returned home, he couldn’t dismiss his need to see Dorie.
Rather than spend the rest of the night tossing and turning in a mound of hay, he’d given in to his urge. They’d spent too much time apart already. Time he’d never get back.
It wasn’t until Dorien had asked why he was there that he knew the answer.
When he’d left the Campbell laird with only a reluctant agreement to aid in the takeover of the McCurdys, he knew he couldn’t risk losing Dorien’s promise of men. But as he headed toward Dunardry, thinking of his future, he realized it looked rather bleak and lonely.
He’d embraced the loneliness before, encouraged it even, as a penance. But now that he knew the truth—felt it in his soul—he realized he’d paid enough. Maggie had loved him, even as she lay dying. She wouldn’t want him to spend the rest of his life in this misery with nothing but rage in his heart. She would have thought him a coward for keeping himself safely hidden away from any chance of further pain.
Before he knew what he was doing, he’d changed course to end up in Durham, England. And was now standing here before the woman he had given up. The woman who had made him feel something good for the first time in years.
He was most likely too late to stop the annulment from going through. But as long as she wasn’t promised to another, there was a chance she might marry him again. This time in a pretty dress like the one she was wearing now. With shoes, and her own strong voice declaring she would love him until death parted them. He closed his eyes, sending up a silent prayer that death wouldn’t part them for a very long time.
“I believe we should speak on the matter alone,” her father said. “In the morning. It’s too late to discuss such things tonight. You may stay in one of the guest rooms.” Dorien’s eyes flared as if waiting for Bryce to make a complaint regarding the sleeping arrangements.
As much as he wanted to hold Dorie and even pull her under him so he could make love to her, he would respect the man’s home, in the hope Dorien would take Bryce’s suit seriously.
Dorie said nothing, and it reminded him of when he’d first met her and the way they’d communicated on another level. As then, he could almost hear her thoughts as she watched him with wide eyes. He frowned when he noticed the dark circles under them. His wife wasn’t sleeping well, and he hated to think it was his doing. Was she unhappy here? He couldn’t imagine her not wanting to live here, from the look of the house and her new clothes.
He was shown to his room immediately and after removing his kilt and boots, he lay in the most elaborate bed he’d ever seen. He couldn’t sleep. What was he thinking? He’d come all this way to try to get her back when he had nothing to offer her. Bloody hell. He should have brought the dog. At least then he might have had a chance.
He didn’t even have a way to take Dorie home. He’d not be able to afford a luxurious carriage like the one she’d ridden in when she’d left Dunardry. He’d need to buy a horse for her.
He cast that idea aside. She wouldn’t be able to bring all her nice things with her on a horse. She was a viscount’s daughter. She had things now. Nice things. Like a fancy brush and comb set.
The reminder made his stomach flip with unease. What if she was glad to be rid of him? What if she didn’t want him? He’d state his case. Beg for her forgiveness and hope she could see past his stupidity. And if that didn’t work, he’d leave her to her life here and not bother her again.
Och. Why did he come? Surely she didn’t want him after the way he’d treated her. He would rest a while and sneak off before morning so as not to embarrass himself.
He turned again and heard the door open. With the moonlight coming in through the window, he watched as Dorie stepped inside, her hair glowing blue in the dim light.
“Are you awake?” she whispered.
Rather than speak, he got up and went to her. He wanted to reach for her, but she stepped back, crossing her arms over her chest, blocking the view of her breasts through the thin gown. He had no right to touch her. She was no longer his.
He stayed a short distance away, watching and waiting to hear why she’d come to him in the middle of the night.
When she said nothing, he grew restless. “Do ye love someone else, Dorie? I wouldn’t blame you. Have you found another?” If she had given her heart to someone, he could be on his way immediately.
“Why are you here?” she asked, ignoring his questions. Hers were more important, and yet he didn’t know how to answer. Or rather, where to start.
He took a breath and told her everything, ending with the words she needed to hear. “I left the Campbell lands planning to go back to Dunardry, but I could only think of you and how much I miss you and want you. That’s how I ended up on your doorstep this evening with nothing save my horse and a few pieces of clothing.”
“You signed the annulment?” she whispered when he was done.
He winced, knowing how she must feel about it. “I did. At the time, all I could think was how much I wanted all the pain to go away. I just wanted to be alone in my sorrow. But I ken now it was a mistake. I need you, Dorie. I want you with me.”
She hadn’t moved closer, and he worried it was too late. He’d let her go, so of course someone would have snatched her up. She was beautiful and loving and all the things a man would want in a wife.
“I’ll never be able to replace Maggie,” she said. “I’m not her, and I canna live my life in her shadow. I love you, Bryce, as much as I’d tried not to. But I canna heal you. Not when ye don’t want to be healed. Not when you canna let me into your heart.”
He clenched his fists at his side to keep from reaching for her, pulling her to him. If he ever held her again, it would have to be because he deserved her. Which meant he had to make her see how he felt now. He had to be honest. With her. With himself.
“I’ve been a bastard to you all this time. I took the parts I could manage and rejected the ones I couldn’t, and it wasn’t fair to you. I didn’t mean for you to feel less than Maggie, but I see now I left you no choice but to feel that way. I’m sorry, Dorie. So sorry. I’d like to have a life with you. A family.”
She took one step closer. That small move made his chest tighten with hope.
“You loved her. And I never expected you to love me the same way. People are different, I understand that. Since I’ve been here in Durham, I’ve witnessed it by seeing my father with Harriet. Love exists in different forms. I know that you love me, Bryce. Not the way you loved Maggie, but the way you’re meant to love me.”
He nodded, happy she’d found a way to explain the way he felt better than he ever could. “Aye. I do love you. Do ye think you could want a man who took too long figuring things out? If he only wants to spend the rest of his life loving you and making you happy?”
She laughed and her hand came up to rest on his chest. The same place where he felt his heart thumping with anticipation.
He rested his forehead against hers and looked her in the eye. “If you could give me another chance, I promise you won’t regret it. I’ll see to it you know how special you are every day, for as long as we live.”
…
Dorie had wanted to hear these words from Bryce since the first time they’d kissed, but she hadn’t ever thought it could be possible. She was terrified she would wake up and find herself still in the carriage on the way home from the duke’s dinner.
But the warmth of Bryce’s body under her palms assured her he was really there, just as the smile on his lips and the love in his eyes told her how much he wanted her to be with him.
“There is no one true love,” he whispered. “I see that now. As long as you open your heart to the possibility, you can love someone else as deeply. I know because I feel it with you. Maggie was a wonderful woman, and I did love her very much. But loving you doesn’t betray what I had with her. I need to live my life. I know now how much I love you. More than I thought I could.”
Looking in his eyes as he spoke, she didn’t see anything but sincerity.
She placed a hand on his cheek. She loved this man. It didn’t matter how many men she met at dinners and events, or how elaborate their compliments became; they wouldn’t stir her heart like Bryce did. She’d been planning to leave for Scotland to beg him to take her back and love her however he was able. But now she could have all of him. It was almost too much happiness to manage.
Rather than speak, she leaned up and kissed him.
He pulled her close and kissed her like he never had before. She could feel the desperation and need in his touch, though he drew back. She wanted nothing of that and reached for him, but he put up his hand.
“I want you, Dorie. In my bed. Well, this bed, tonight. But we’re no longer married, so before I lie with you, I’d like to secure your promise.” He swallowed, looking rather nervous and entirely too handsome. “Would you marry me again, Dorie? Now that you have a choice in the matter?”
“Yes. Yes, I’ll marry you again.” This time he allowed her onslaught of kisses and wrapped his warm arms around her.
“Thank you, Dorie. You won’t regret this.”
“I know I won’t. I was planning to leave in the morning to come to you and ask you to take me back. I didn’t want to live without you anymore.”
“A new beginning, the way we should have been all along.”
“Aye. Now take off your shirt.”
He laughed and kissed her again while tugging his shirt over his head, pulling away from her lips only to free the garment. He was naked and she wanted to be naked with him.
She reached for her shift, but his hands were already sliding up her thighs, taking her gown with them. When she was naked, he stood back and gazed at her.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
Slowly, he shook his head. “Nothing is wrong. I am just enjoying being with you without the guilt I felt before. I feel so different. So free.”
She couldn’t help the grin that took over her face when he wrapped his arms around her and carried her to the bed. After dropping her atop his tangled linens, he crawled into bed next to her. Propped on his elbow, he smiled down at her while his fingers traced over her skin, making her shift with impatience.
“I’ve missed this,” she said.
“You thought of me in your bed?”
She nodded.
“What did you think of? What favorite fantasy of yours should I make reality?”
Her face heated, but she told him the things she’d longed for when she was alone in her cold bed.
He laughed and kissed her. “You shall have your every wish. I’m just glad we have the rest of the night. I think I might need it.”
With that, he began fulfilling every fantasy she’d shared, as well as a few that must have been on his own list.
…
Bryce kissed Dorie’s hair while she slept and smiled at how lucky he was she hadn’t found someone else. He could have lost her forever and had no one to blame but himself. He was glad he’d gotten his head out of his arse before it was too late.
In a few hours he would talk to her father about marrying her again so he could take her home to Dunardry. As he thought of how wonderful it would be to have someone to share his life with, he looked around the room being lit by the approaching sun.
He’d never seen such fine things before. Doubt trickled in, ruining the moment and chilling him despite the warmth their naked bodies created under the exquisite bedding.
Was she used to this life? Would she want these things, the beautiful gowns and the jewels he’d seen her wearing when she’d returned home the night before?
His soldier’s pay wouldn’t provide many of these luxuries. Perhaps once they took over the McCurdys and gained access to a port Bryce could learn a trade that would allow him to offer her the things she deserved.
The sun had risen and he still hadn’t come up with any skills he had, save fighting. Being a warrior and protecting his clan was all he’d ever known. Still, he’d find a way. He’d promised to make her happy and he would make sure he never let her down ever again.
Dorie opened her eyes and sat up, looking around. When her gaze landed on him, she smiled. “Oh, good. I’d hoped it wasn’t a dream.” She snuggled up against him then jumped out of bed. “It’s morning! I must go back to my room.”
“I hope this is the last time we have to worry about such things. I plan to speak with your father this morning about marrying you.” He frowned. “You haven’t changed your mind, have you?”
“Of course not.” She looked at him as if he were mad as she yanked her shift over her head, covering up his favorite parts. Her hair was ravished, and she looked radiantly rumpled and a bit tired. Male pride brought a smile to his lips, but he pressed forward with his concern.
He’d been waiting all this time to tell her, and now words didn’t come easily. “This place is very nice.”
“Aye. It’s beautiful. I don’t think I’ve even been in all the rooms.” She laughed and he took a breath.
“I’ll not be able to give you a home like this.”
She blinked at him and paused by the door, ready to make her escape. “Of course we won’t have a home like this. You’re not a viscount, and we already have a home at Dunardry.”
“What about the dresses and the jewels? I’ll not be able to buy you such things, either.”
She tilted her head and came back to stand before him where he sat on the edge of the bed.
“The fancy clothing and jewels were just my father’s way of attracting attention to me. I believe he wanted the potential suitors to see his wealth so they would be more enticed into offering for me. In truth, I’m not one for such elaborate things. Don’t take me wrong, I do enjoy having shoes, which as you recall, is more than I had when we met. But beyond that, I do not wish for more than what I had when I lived with you. I don’t need baubles when I have the love of a fine man.” With that, she kissed him and rushed off to slip out the door as if she’d never been there in the first place.<
br />
He fell back onto the bed and pressed his face to her pillow to breathe in the scent of her. Keeping her with him a little longer.
Soon they’d never have to be apart again.
Chapter Thirty-One
Bryce ran a hand over his shirt to smooth it—as if that would help. As soon as the viscount saw Bryce’s smile he’d know immediately what they’d done. And he couldn’t stop smiling.
He coughed and walked into the room where Dorie’s father waited to speak with him. It was better to get it over with. Surely this village had a clergyman who could marry them so they could be on their way by noon. Bryce only had to survive this conversation.
Dorie was already seated in the room and he couldn’t help but notice she was smiling as well. When she spotted him, that smile grew and a lovely blush bloomed on her cheeks. No doubt she was remembering the night before. He couldn’t wait to have this morning over so they could be together as a married couple once more.
He took the seat as far from Dorie as possible so as not to touch her and offend her father. But even the distance didn’t keep them from stealing glances and sharing knowing smiles.
“Bloody hell. What have you done?” the viscount snapped while looking between them.
Even the threat of death couldn’t force Bryce to look away from the woman he loved. “I’m in love with your daughter, sir. I want to marry her. Today, preferably.”
“Did your laird discuss my offer and the stipulations?” he asked, sitting back in his chair and steepling his long fingers.
If the man thought to intimidate him, it wouldn’t work. Bryce was leaving with his wife. No matter what.
“Aye. He told me the only way you’d fund the men we asked for was if I signed the annulment and stayed away from Dorie. I may have signed it, but that was before I realized I didn’t want to live without her.” Bryce swallowed and his smile dimmed slightly. “My clan would like to have your assistance, but Lach told me I needed to do what was right for me. He said we’d figure out the rest later. I have his support. Will you give Dorie and me your blessing to be wed?”
Her Reluctant Highlander Husband (Clan MacKinlay) Page 24
