I’ve wanted to bring it up several times since we got home from the hospital last week, but I always end up chickening out.
For some reason, I’m terrified he’s going to get up and leave once we actually have “the talk.”
“How about we take it one topic at a time and start with the biggest elephant in the room? That little nugget in your belly.” He lifts one of his hands toward my stomach but pulls it back at the last moment as if he isn’t sure he’s allowed to touch me that way. His gaze is gentle though when it snaps back to mine.
“Okay. I can do that.” I’ve been catching myself in the same situation since I found out I’m pregnant—my hand hovering over my belly or actually touching it. Which is a funny thing considering I don’t look or feel very pregnant yet—besides the consistent nausea and growing boobs. Also, the baby is only the size of a raspberry, which makes this whole experience even crazier.
When I realize I just disappeared in my own head again, I focus back on Carter’s face. “Well, what are your thoughts on the pregnancy?”
“Did you know you were pregnant before the accident?”
We both ask our questions at the same time and chuckle.
I decide to go first, shaking my head—thankfully sans headache now. “I had no idea, I swear. Otherwise, I would have told you right away. I was just as shocked as I imagine you were when you found out.”
Carter gives me a small smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “I wouldn’t have blamed you considering how I always used to talk about never wanting children.” He sighs heavily. “But to answer your question, it’s still a little hard to wrap my head around it, but at the same time, I’m also excited. I catch myself thinking about how it will be, holding my baby in my arms, or later on, playing sports together. All kinds of things. It . . . it feels right.”
My heart pounds rapidly as I carefully listen to each of his words, even more so when he starts rubbing his thumb over the sensitive skin of my palm.
His voice is gentle and light, mirroring his smile. “There isn’t anyone better I can imagine having a baby with than you. You’ll be the best mom out there.”
Unexpected tears sting my eyes, and I rub them away before they can spill onto my cheeks. “Thank you. I can’t even tell you how happy I am that you feel that way. I think that was the biggest reason I waited until now to ask. I was so scared you were only here out of obligation or guilt.”
He shakes his head before brushing his fingers over my cheek so tenderly, I feel it all the way to my heart. “You still haven’t gotten it, have you? I’m here for you, for you and the baby, because I want to be, not for any other reason.”
Swallowing has become a real task as he grabs the sides of my chair and pulls until it bumps into his.
My legs are caged in by his, and the yearning in his eyes is so intense, it registers deep in my bones. I can’t decide on what sensation to focus on first. The butterflies in my belly, or my racing pulse. No matter which one, it’s intense to the point of making me dizzy.
“My beautiful and stubborn Julia. I love you with a magnitude that rivals the thrills of the ocean. This time with you has shown me that relationships aren’t perfect, but they can be incredibly fulfilling when you open your heart to them.”
The buzzing in my ears is loud, the tears spilling down my cheeks faster than Carter can wipe them away. For a moment, I wonder if I’m dreaming, putting my hand over my heart when it feels like it might break out of my chest at any second.
I grab Carter’s hand to put it in the spot mine just was. “Feel this.”
“Your boobs? They feel nice. Have they grown?” He wiggles his eyebrows and I laugh.
I laugh before I cry some more, tears soaking Carter’s shirt when he pulls me in for a hug.
When I’ve finally calmed down, I grab the napkin, trying to wipe my face as best as I can before gazing at Carter again.
He’s still in the same spot, the same position, waiting for me. For my reaction.
My words.
My love.
This beautiful man, who etched his way into my heart long before I even understood what love is. The way he read me adventure stories in the fort my parents built for us even though Ollie thought it was lame, or the way he taught me how to surf when my brother’s patience had long dissolved into thin air.
A small part of me aches that it took us this long to get to this point, but I’m not sure we would have been able to make it work before now, without these tragedies that lined the way to something so beautiful.
“I love you, and I hate that you’re sleeping on the couch.” I sniffle, swallowing hard as I’m still trying to wrap my head around what’s happening.
“You say when, and I won’t ever leave your side again.”
“When.” Tears fill my eyes again, and I point at them. “I swear, it’s the hormones.”
He chuckles, leaning in for a kiss that has desire burning in my belly even though Carter’s keeping it light.
I groan, ninety-nine point nine percent certain, he probably won’t touch me until I’m completely healed. Unless I can convince him otherwise. At least I’ll enjoy trying.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Carter
Three weeks later
“Jules, please open the door so I can help you.” I let my head hit the bathroom door once more, hating to feel this helpless.
“Go away. I’ll come out when I’m done. I don’t need you standing right on the other side of the door listening to me throw up. That just makes it worse.” Her voice is gravelly, and she barely gets the words out before another bout of heaving hits her, and I finally take a step back from the door.
“You win. I’m gone.” I take a few more steps and lean against the wall, staring a hole into the bathroom door. No matter what she says, I’m not going far.
It’s been three weeks since we had our little baby talk, and I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy or content before. It’s not always easy, especially when Julia’s pregnancy hormones visit, but now that we know the reason behind her mood swings, it’s a lot easier to handle them.
Now, it’s basically like it has been before the accident.
No, never mind, we still haven’t had sex yet.
Much to Julia’s dismay, and the few choice words she likes to throw my way whenever I tell her we can’t yet.
Everything looks great with the baby, but the bruises have only started to fade this last week. I couldn’t handle the thought of hurting her any more.
She doesn’t know it yet, but tonight I’m planning to make up for all the lost time, with great detail to attention, having missed our physical intimacy as much as she has.
“I hate this.” The toilet flushes while Julia mutters aloud to herself. The faucet turns on before the buzzing sound of her toothbrush filters through the door.
I push off the wall when she finally comes out a few minutes later, taking in her pale complexion. “You don’t feel well. Let’s do this another day.”
Holding up her hands, she shakes her head. “No way. You’ve been teasing me with that house for weeks now, and I want to have my surprise. As much as I dislike this whole sickness thing, it might not go away anytime soon. So we might as well do it now. It’s as good as any other day.” She shrugs and walks out of the room, and I follow her into the kitchen. “Let me just grab my water bottle and a few snacks, and I’m ready to go.”
I catch up with her as she opens the fridge. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. Now stop asking me, or you’ll drive both of us crazy.”
I salute her and grab my own things, so we can leave when she’s ready. “I’ll be waiting by the front door then.” I catch her small smile before she disappears behind the fridge door again.
A moment later, I stop in my tracks when she calls my name, drawing it out like it has a million syllables. I press my lips together to keep from groaning, hoping it isn’t what I fear it is.
Turning around, I give her an inn
ocent look. “What is it?”
She points at the fridge door before looking at me. “Did you take some of the magnets off? It looks different?”
I bite the inside of my cheek so hard, I might have drawn blood, trying as hard as I can to not think about what I did, because she reads me like a book most of the time. “Nope. Didn’t touch the magnets.”
“Huh.” Julia shrugs before walking over to me, thankfully completely oblivious.
Thank you, pregnancy brain.
Less than half an hour later, we pull off the main road onto one of the small side streets filled with houses. The properties aren’t huge, but still decent sized, especially for this area.
Julia’s eyes are wide as she stares at me. “Wait a second. Did you seriously buy a house right by the ocean?”
I barely manage to keep the smile off my face. “Stop being so nosy already. Just wait and see.”
She huffs out a breath, then looks back out her window in silence.
A few hundred feet down the road, I slow down and get a little remote control out of the middle console, holding it toward the upcoming property.
“You’re kidding. You scored a house with a freaking gate?” Julia’s gaze snaps in my direction, her voice an octave higher than usual.
This time, I lose my battle and a triumphant grin spreads across my face.
Then I nod, feeling good all over again about my purchase. “It was one of those ‘being in the right place at the right time’ moments. When I called our special realtor friend Linda, she’d just received the papers for this new house. It belonged to an older couple wanting to sell as fast as possible because they were moving to the East Coast. She said it needed some things done but that it was a killer deal. And boy, was she right. I put in my offer, and they accepted it right away. The rest is history so to speak.”
“That’s awesome.” The smile she gives me is her truly happy one, the one I love seeing the most, and it makes the taxing and exhausting work worth it.
Shifting around in her seat, she faces me, leaning across the middle console. “Soooo . . . Did I miss you getting rich somehow?”
Her comment makes me laugh, once again screaming familiarity to me in a way I know I’d never have with another woman.
It’s one of the things I cherish the most in our relationship. “Well, I don’t usually shout it from the rooftops, but let’s just say, I’ve been pretty lucky with some investments over the years.”
She slaps my arm playfully and chuckles. “No way. Good for you. And here you were rooming with my brother.”
“Nothing has changed really.” I lift one shoulder in a shrug. “It’s just nice to have the security, to know the money is in my bank account if I need it. And now I’ve got a great investment with this house too.”
Her focus turns back on the house in front of us, a decent-sized, two-story beachfront house. “Well, looks like you did a good job.”
The house isn’t a mansion, especially compared to a lot of other houses in Southern California, but it fits in without standing out. The most important thing is I like it a lot and hope Jules will too. Otherwise, I might have a problem. “Shall we?”
We get out of the car, and Julia goes toward the front door when I catch her arm. “Let’s go around the house. I want to show you the back first.”
“Okay.” She looks confused but doesn’t comment any further.
I lead her along the side path of the house to the back. Julia stops when the ocean comes into view in the distance.
The property is on the cliffside, overlooking the ocean with two decks on the back of the house. The top one is my favorite. It’s larger than the one at Ollie’s house, and I thought of Jules the second I stepped out on it for the first time, and how much she’d love it.
When she remains silent, I walk up behind her, wrapping my arms around her middle, and enjoying her body pressed against mine. Nestling my head into the curve of her shoulder, I whisper into her ear, “Do you like it?”
She puts her hands on mine, atop her belly, and squeezes them. “Are you kidding me? This is so beautiful. I can’t believe it’s yours. I love it.” She cranes her neck, looking around past the property lines. “Seriously though, Carter. I’m so happy you were able to snatch up this beauty. Is there a path that goes down to the beach somewhere?”
I turn her a little to the right and motion toward the gate. “Just over there.”
“How perfect.” She rocks on the soles of her feet, barely refraining from bouncing. “I’m so excited for you.”
“Us, Jules. Us.” Before she can respond, I take her hand, and pull her back to the front of the house. “Let me show you the inside.”
“Carter. Wait. We have to . . . You can’t just . . .” Her eyes sparkle in the sunlight when I turn around, and I’m mesmerized by her beauty.
Pulling her body flush with mine, I capture her lips in a searing kiss that leaves both of us breathing heavily. “Can we talk about this later?”
Her cheeks are flushed, and her eyes slightly glazed over when she nods. “All right.”
I chuckle.
Works. Every. Time.
I press my lips to hers one more time before leading her inside our home.
Fuck, does that sound perfect.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Julia
The first thing I notice when we walk into the house is the fresh paint smell. My pregnancy has intensified my sense of smell tenfold, so it’s a good thing I’ve always liked the smell of paint. It’s weird, but at least it’s better than enjoying the smell of gasoline. That was my brother’s thing when we were little.
“Wow.” I look around the impressive room in awe, immediately liking the open floor plan that’s flooded with natural light. The hardwood floors contrast beautifully with the light-gray walls, the exposed white wooden ceiling beams, absolutely stunning. When we walk farther into the kitchen, I can’t help myself and walk over to the big wall of windows overlooking the ocean. Even though we just stood outside looking at the view, I doubt I’ll ever get enough of it.
Carter is quiet as he leads me around, showing me the chef’s kitchen with top-of-the-line appliances and a beautiful breakfast bar. His eyes are on me the entire time, surely about to combust if I don’t share my thoughts with him soon.
Once we’re done downstairs, he leads me up the staircase to the second level. It’s decorated in the same simple style as the downstairs, with lots of light and neutral colors. It suits this house well though, especially with the ocean view as a backdrop, not to mention Carter too since he’s never been big on materialistic or flashy things.
After showing me a beautiful master bedroom and guest room, both with chic and elegant bathrooms—including steam showers—he stops in front of a closed door.
When I look at him, he doesn’t open the door right away, my quickening breath betraying my nervousness. “What is it?”
He chews on his lip before giving me a shy smile. After a moment of consideration, he seems to make up his mind, taking a step aside to make room for me. “Why don’t you see for yourself?”
After shooting him a questioning look, I reach out for the door handle, not sure what to expect. I push the door open all the way before my hand flies to my mouth at the sight in front of me.
A nursery.
Carter has a freaking room for our baby in his new house.
Looking back at him, I’m not surprised to feel my eyes burning. He gives me a small smile and puts a reassuring hand on my back. I look at him for another moment before my eyes flicker back to the room. It’s the cutest room I’ve ever seen.
The walls are painted in a neutral beige, with a white crib and changing table on one side. Since the room is right next to the master bedroom, it has the same ocean view, and it couldn’t be more perfect.
His voice is soft behind me. “I thought . . . if you’d like, maybe we could decorate it together once we know what the baby is?”
My heart feels as if it’
s swelling, the warm feeling in my chest expanding endlessly. “I’d absolutely love that.”
When Carter’s arms encircle my waist, I turn around, eager to see his handsome face. My mind plays a loop of happy memories, all including Carter, bringing me a sense of calm and contentment.
When he runs his nose along my jaw, I immediately start fidgeting, the heat pooling in my belly so strong, I whimper. “Carter.”
“Yes, baby.”
“I can’t wait any longer.”
He pulls back, staring into my eyes so intensely, I feel like he’s staring straight into my soul. “Tell me you’ll move in with me.”
The needy fog in my brain bursts like a bubble. “What?”
“I bought this house for us, for you and me, and our baby.” He kisses me. “Say yes.”
He said our house earlier, or something like that, but I was so distracted by the view that I wasn’t sure I heard him correctly.
Seems like I did.
I open and close my mouth several times before tilting my head. “For real?”
My gaze wanders over to the open door of the master bedroom he showed me before. Without overthinking it, I walk to it again, standing in the doorway, staring at the massive four-poster bed with the breathtaking panoramic view next to it.
Carter takes my hand and pulls me inside, sitting on the edge of the bed with me perched on one of his thighs. “So, what do you think?”
My head does a quick bobble as my mouth spreads into an almost painful grin. “Absolutely, yes. It’s all so beautiful and perfect.”
“Like you.” His gaze does me in, and I tackle him, pushing him back on the mattress, ignoring my slightly achy limbs.
I need to have him right now before I go completely insane. Thankfully, he doesn’t protest this time, helping me push down his pants far enough to free his hard length. By some miracle, I chose a dress today, and I don’t hesitate before pulling it up to my waist. My underwear is next, pushed to the side in one quick swipe, so I can finally, finally, sink down on him in one swift move, taking exactly what I’ve longed for so much.
The Husband Checklist Page 23
