by Tabatha Kiss
Has Melanie really moved on?
Will all of this be for nothing?
I can’t let her move on. I don’t think I’d survive it.
I look at Roger as he looks at me.
“Was this our first fight?” I ask, breaking the silence.
He nods sadly. “I think it was.”
“I don’t like it.”
“Me neither.”
“I’m sorry, man,” I say.
“I’m sorry, too.”
“Let’s not do that again.”
“Agreed.” He smiles. “So, when is that party?”
I roll my eyes. “Thursday night.”
Roger leans back, his eyes looking more sinister than usual. “I will be there with balls on,” he says.
“Bells,” I correct.
“I said what I said.”
I laugh as I finish the last drops of my coffee.
Eleven
Melanie
Derrick placed his hands on Cady’s shoulders.
“Derrick,” she sighed, “don’t—”
“Shut up,” he whispered. “Just shut up, for once.”
She closed her mouth, locked somewhere between fear and desire.
“Now you listen to me,” he said, keeping her pinned between his chest and the wall.
The cursor blinks against the white page as I catch my breath. I’ve been sprinting for hours, my fingers starting to get that gentle ache in the joints, but I don’t want to stop. Ever since Robbie sent me his notes, I’ve been attached to my keyboard just like…
Just like old times.
Just like the long-gone days of the two of us lying in bed together, me reading out loud from my manuscript while he acted it out, making me laugh louder than I’ve ever had before in my entire life.
“I don’t like you,” Derrick said. “Hell, I flat-out despise you, but I can’t get you out of my head.”
“Let me go…”
He held tighter. “That’s the thing, Cady. I can’t. I can’t let you go. I’ll never let you go because without you I’m nothing. I know that now.” He leaned in closer until their lips barely touched. “Don’t you ever just want to go for it again?”
I freeze, my fingers hovering over the keyboard. A wave of deja vu washes over me, curling around my stomach like a damn noose.
Don’t you ever just want to go for it again?
I re-read the line over and over again. I’ve heard it before. No…
I’ve said it before.
My stomach churns from the memories flooding back.
Arguing at the bar.
Riding a cab home.
Stumbling up the stairs and getting into bed.
With Robbie.
Don’t you ever just want to go for it again?
My mouth sags. I said that. I put my hands on him and whispered and touched my mouth to his cheek… but Robbie told me nothing happened.
You know I do, Mel.
But I’m not that guy anymore.
I hold my breath. I remember everything. I remember it all with perfect clarity. I came onto him and he rejected me. He forced my hands down. He turned away and got off the bed.
Because he’s not that guy anymore.
I set my laptop on the coffee table to keep it from sliding to the floor. I look outside, shocked to see the night sky hovering over Chicago. How long have I been sitting here?
I stand up, eager to move and shake off this memory.
Maybe Robbie has changed. I couldn’t see it before, but it was right in front of me the whole time. For so long, he was nothing but a drunken, horny, pathological liar. I clung to the positive things. I tried to save my marriage, no matter how hard it was, because everyone else saw his positives. His wit and sense of humor. His charming smile. They never saw the sides of him I did. Robbie was unreliable and irresponsible. There were nights of utter helplessness that left me empty and broken. He would just… shut down when I needed him the most, expecting me to fill the void.
I stare out the window at the city lights. It’s snowing again, covering the world in a light dusting. This was always our favorite weather. There was nothing better than getting snowed-in together… until the whiskey ran dry and Robbie sobered up and I was suddenly… unimportant.
But he’s not that guy anymore, right?
He came to help me when I needed him this time. He got me out of the cold. He took me home. He made sure I was put to bed safely without claiming what he easily could have taken. I practically gave myself to him, but he didn’t give in.
Not even one kiss.
I lick my tingling lips. I can’t be thinking what I’m thinking, can I? That he’s truly changed? That he’s somehow abandoned all of his bad qualities in favor of his good ones? That he’s become that beautiful, loyal, and hilarious man I instantly fell for in a speed-dating booth?
I stand by the window, watching the snow fall faster and thicker as my mind races with possibilities. Looks like a big storm is rolling in for the night…
It’s now or never.
I bundle up in my coat and boots. I lock my door behind me. I ignore the battle raging in my gut between head and heart. Between instinct and butterflies. Between curiosity and suspicion.
I shut it all down.
I’m sick of thinking.
I’m tired of being without the man I loved before.
I’m not even going to stop and consider what any of that means.
I walk for a block before I find a cab to flag down. It comes to a quick halt and I hop inside, happy to get out of the cold.
The cab driver turns around to look at me as I tell her Robbie’s address. “Oh, hey!” she says, grinning . “It’s you again!”
I pause, confused with her unfamiliar face.
“Saturday night!” She turns forward and hits the gas. “You rode home with a very, very handsome man in a leather jacket.”
“Oh, right,” I say with a nod. “Sorry, I don’t remember… much from that night.”
She laughs. “It happens. You having as good of a night so far?”
“Not sure yet, actually.”
“Well, wherever you’re going, I suggest you stay there. This weather is gonna get worse before it gets better.”
I look out the window. “I think you’re right.”
“Did he propose to you yet?”
I stare forward into the rearview mirror, making eye contact with her. “Propose?” I repeat.
“Your man.” She grins again. “I gave him a nudge for you, so if he’s as smart as he is pretty…”
I smile, her jubilant voice infectious. “No, he hasn’t,” I answer. “Not yet.”
She kisses her teeth. “Tick-tock.”
To my surprise, the cab comes to a stop in front of Robbie’s building already.
“Thank you,” I say as I pay.
“Stay warm, honey.”
“You, too.”
I climb out of the cab and step up onto the snow-covered curb. The world continues spinning while I stare at the building and wonder once again what the hell I’m even doing here.
Then, I stop thinking.
I let the butterflies win.
Twelve
Robbie
I glance at myself one more time in the bathroom mirror. Showered and shaved and ready to party. I don’t feel too great about it, honestly, but I’m only doing this to help Roger. He drilled me for information about Val, information that I don’t have, but I’m sure he’ll find some way to swoon her either way.
And, hey. If he’s successful, then that means she won’t be obsessed with me anymore.
Win-win.
There’s a knock on my door… twenty minutes early.
Oh, Roger.
I grab my leather jacket and throw it over my shoulders, taking one last peek in the mirror by the door before answering it. Jeans. White t-shirt. A handsome mug.
Let’s get this over with.
Another knock. I chuckle.
“All right, al
l right,” I say aloud as I twist the knob. “Calm down, man.”
I open the door, and my chest tightens.
Melanie Rose stands in the hall with her arms tightly crossed. Dozens of snowflakes slowly melt in her hair, leaving it looking wet and shiny. Bright eyes and rosy cheeks.
But what is she doing here?
“Melanie,” I say, swallowing hard.
She shifts on her feet. “Hey,” she says.
“Hey.” I glance around her into the empty hall. “What’s up?”
“I, uh…” Her gaze falls to my shoes and back up, scanning my outfit. “You know what, never mind…”
She quickly turns around and starts toward the stairwell.
“Whoa, whoa!” I step through the doorway. “Pump the brakes, Mel. What’s going on?”
“Nothing. Don’t worry about it—”
“Stop.”
She pauses with one foot on the stairs.
“Turn,” I say.
She pivots to face me.
I smile, gesturing inside. “Come on in.”
Melanie hesitates. “Are you sure?”
“Mel, we broke up, got divorced, and quit having sex — in that order. At no point did we stop being friends.”
She chuckles. “I guess that’s historically accurate.”
I hold the door open. “Come in.”
Melanie eases forward, looking more than a little reluctant to keep going, but she ends up stepping inside. I close the door behind her, trying to ignore the rapid heartbeat in my chest. It begs for answers. It begs me to reach out and touch her, but I don’t dare cross that line.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
Melanie rubs her arms for warmth as she scans the room. “Yeah,” she answers. “Yeah, I’m okay. I just…” She finally looks at me. “Do you have a date tonight? You look nice.”
I glance at my outfit. “No, no date. I just look like this all the time now.”
“Really?”
“Turns out, there’s this thing called showering regularly. I tell ya, once it catches on, it’s going to be huge.”
She chuckles lightly. “You don’t say.”
What happened, Mel?
She wouldn’t have dropped in here unannounced or otherwise unless there was something serious on her mind. She wouldn’t be here smiling and trembling in the cold… unless she wanted to be.
“Actually, I was just going to drop in to the shop on the corner downstairs,” I say. “Grab some essentials before the snow gets worse.”
“Good thinking,” she says with a nod.
“Stuff like… cheddar popcorn,” I say. “Cherry soda. Maybe some of that vanilla ice cream with red velvet chunks in it.”
She smiles. “You were on your way out to grab all of my favorite comfort foods?”
“Weird, huh?”
“Yeah, that’s weird.”
“You’re free to stay,” I say, testing the waters. “I’ve got some iced tea in the fridge if you want.”
She nods. “Thanks.”
What happened??
Why isn’t she rolling her eyes and calling me an idiot?
What could have happened that she came to me for comfort?
I check my pocket for my wallet and phone. “I’ll be right back,” I say, turning toward the door.
“Robbie.”
I pause. “Yeah?”
“Diet cherry soda,” she says. “If they have it.”
“Sure.” I nod. “Back soon.”
As soon as the door latches behind me, I take a deep breath to calm my nerves. I don’t have a reason to be nervous, but I haven’t seen Melanie Rose like this in a long time. There’s something on her mind, something teeming beneath the surface, and I’ve only got one shot at getting this right.
I rush downstairs, keeping an eye out for Roger on the way. If I can bump into him now and explain what’s going on, then he’ll understand why I’m bailing on him.
Unfortunately, I don’t spot him between the apartment and the shop on the corner. The neighborhood hasn’t picked it clean yet. I grab all the Melanie comfort essentials and a few other things to get me through the weekend in just a few minutes. Still no Roger, but I’ll figure something out when he gets here.
“Okay,” I say as I return to the apartment, plastic bags in hand. “We’ve got popcorn and ice cream…”
Melanie lies on the couch in the living room with her eyes closed and her hand nestled beneath her cheek.
I fall silent so I don’t wake her up. I set the plastic bags on the coffee table next to her coat and sit beside them, my gaze blissfully locked on her beautiful face.
That’s my Melanie.
I grab the blanket off the back of the couch. I pause over her, making sure I don’t accidentally nudge her before draping it over her, covering her shoulders to her toes. I’m not sure what was bothering her before, but it’s not bothering her now.
I’ll let her sleep.
As I stand, her fingers wrap around my hand.
“Robbie?”
“Hey,” I say, pausing mid-stand.
She sits up, her grip staying firm on my hand. I lower back down onto the table and sit there, waiting silently for her to speak, but she doesn’t. Instead, she brings my hand to her lips and purses them against my knuckles.
The kiss fires up my arm and settles deep in my heart. “Mel...”
She lays my hand on her hip and her fingers crawl up the arm of my jacket until they reach my chest. Her tongue parts her lips, giving them a light sheen, and it takes everything in me not to claim them immediately.
I ease back an inch. “Melanie,” I say, barely resisting.
“Don’t you ever just want to go for it again?” she asks.
I inhale sharply. Just hearing her say that again sends blood straight toward my groin. “You remember that?” I ask.
She nods. My chest clenches, though I’m not sure why. I did nothing wrong. At least, not this time.
“I’m sorry,” I say.
Melanie tilts her head up. “Why?” she asks.
I breathe a laugh. “I’ve spent months making a list of all the shit I put you through. Take your pick.”
Her hand slowly falls from my chest. I instantly miss the warmth of it. “You really aren’t that guy anymore, are you?” she asks, her voice so low I can hardly hear it.
“I’m trying.”
“No, you…” She looks at her hands, her tattered bangs hanging down over her eyes. “You changed, and I didn’t see it. I didn’t want to see it because it was easier than admitting I was wrong…”
I place a comforting hand on her knee. “You weren’t wrong, Mel.”
“I missed you.”
“What?”
“Tonight,” she says. “Tonight, it was snowing and… I missed you. All of you, even the worst…” Her voice fades as she looks me in the eye. “What does that make me?”
“One crazy bitch.”
She laughs, but it doesn’t last. Her lips slowly fall again as she touches my hand lingering on her knee. I turn up my palm, grazing hers, feeling the empty spot on her finger where a wedding band used to be.
“Chin up, Buttercup.” I touch her jawline, gently guiding her to look up again. “We’re all crazy here.”
Melanie smiles and I feel it deep in my gut. I let my finger glide along her bottom lip, a dangerous move on any other night, but she says nothing. She looks at me with those big, sad eyes as my heart skips in my chest.
She moves her hand, wrapping her long fingers around the edge of my jacket, and draws me closer until our lips touch. I kiss her as she kisses me, shutting down every little voice telling me to slow down. I don’t even try to stop her as she pulls me down to lie on top of her. That familiar scent of her perfume tickles my nose with every inhale. I take her body in my arms on the couch, feeling more at home than ever as she holds me against her.
She pushes my jacket down over my shoulders. Our lips part for no longer than a second as I lean back to toss
it to the floor. I kick off my shoes. She pulls my shirt off over my head. I do the same to hers, driven by repressed lust we both knew existed but never acted on. Her breasts heave beneath a tight, black bra. I lower down to bury my nose in her cleavage and she leans back along the arm of the sofa as my lips slide down to her navel.
I hook my fingers into her pants and pull them down, leaving her panties on so I don’t go too far too fast. I want to take her so badly, but I don’t want this to end, either. I don’t want that desire in her eyes to flick off and for her to say what we’re both thinking.
That this really is crazy.
That we’ve been down this road before.
That it always ends up in the same place.
But…
Melanie cups my face and draws me toward her lips. Tender moans echo from the back of her throat as I kiss her harder. Her hands rush down my body to my belt, easily sliding it free as I settle between her legs.
“You still firing blanks?” she asks.
I chuckle. “Yeah, you still fixed?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Good.”
She unzips me and pushes my jeans down below my ass to free my cock. Her hips push upward as she forces her panties down her thighs and I yank them to her ankles.
Her warm cunt hugs my cock, begging me to take her, and I can’t hold it back. She slides backward onto the arm of the couch while I lick her from her neck to her breasts, positioning my tip between her folds. I slip inside of her, gazing into her eyes as we grind together.
Melanie gasps softly. Her knees hug my waist. She locks her ankles together behind my back as I thrust into her slowly. Any faster and it’ll end too soon. This woman. Her warmth. The one thing in this world I can’t live without.
Her hands never stop moving, gliding from my arms to my torso. They rest for a moment on my ass and she digs her nails in, moaning a little louder for me to pick up my speed. I kiss her hard, swallowing her moans as she sucks on my tongue.
She jerks her lips from mine. “Right there,” she breathes. “Oh, god. There.”
I smile. “I know,” I say, flexing to keep up the grind.
“Don’t stop, Robbie.” Her teeth press together. “Right there...”
I cover her mouth with my hand. As much as I love hearing Melanie talk like that, her doing it right now will make me come too fast. I want to feel her come first. I want her pussy to tighten on me and quiver as the muscles run wild. I want to feel that deluge of wet warmth from her lips and I want to see that pleasure pass through her wide-open eyes.
