Collected Poems 1931-74

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Collected Poems 1931-74 Page 19

by Lawrence Durrell


  Of washerwomen screeching on the Liffey,

  Soaping the flaccid thighs and dugs,

  Remagnetized again by thoughts of old

  Familiar, incoherent, measureless

  Contempts the grabbing flesh must

  Always hold, like thefts from human logic,

  And savour till the gums and spices fade.

  3 January 1953

  Dear, behind the choking estuaries

  Of sleep or waking, in the acts

  Which dream themselves and make,

  Swollen under luminol, responsibilities

  Which no one else can take,

  I watch the faultless measure of your dying

  Into an unknown misused animal

  Held by the ropes and drugs; the puny

  Recipe society proposes when machines

  Break down. Love was our machine.

  And through each false connection I

  So clearly pierce to reach the God

  Infecting this machine, not ours but by

  Compulsion of the city and the times;

  A God forgetting slowly how to feel:

  A broken sex which, lying to itself,

  Could never hope to heal.

  It was so simple to observe the liars,

  The one impaled, and lying like a log,

  The other at some fountain-nipple drinking

  His art from the whole world, helplessly

  Disbanding reason like a thirsty dog.

  6 January 1953

  Madness confides its own theology,

  An ape-world bleak in its custom:

  Not arbitrary, for even the delusive

  Lies concert inside their dissonance:

  And are apes less human than

  Humans are to each other? Answer.

  In clinic beds we reach to where

  All cultures intersect, inverted now

  By the hungry heart and jumbled out

  In friends or sculpture or kissing-stuff,

  Measured against the chattering

  Of gross primary desires, a code of needs

  Where Marxist poems are born and die perhaps.

  The white screens they have set up

  Like the mind’s censor under Babel

  Are trying to keep from the white coats

  All possible foreknowledge of the enigma.

  But the infected face of loneliness

  Smiles back wherever mirrors droop and bleed.

  9 January 1953

  Imagine we are the living who inhabit

  Freezing offices in a winter town,

  Who daily founder deeper in

  Our self-disdain being mirrored in

  Each others’ complicated ways of dying.

  Here neither brick nor glass can warm

  The sanitary dust of central heating,

  And the damp air like a poultice wets

  The fears of living which thought begets.

  Here we feed, as prisoners feed, spiders

  Important to the reason as Bruce’s was;

  Huge sprawling emotions kept in bottles

  Below the civil surface of the mind,

  That snap and sway upon the webs

  Of tearless resignation bought with sleep.

  Some few have what I have:

  Silent gold pressure of eyes

  Belonging to one deeply hurt, deeply aware.

  Truly though we never speak

  The past has marked us each

  In different lives contending for each other:

  We bear like ancient marble well-heads

  Marks of the ropes they lowered in us,

  Telling of the concerns of time,

  The knife of feeling in the art of love.

  12 January 1953

  So at last we come to the writer’s

  Middle years, the hardest yet to bear,

  All will agree: for it is now

  He condenses, prunes and tries to order

  The experiences which gorged upon his youth.

  Every wrinkle now earned is gifted,

  Every grey hair tolls. He matches now

  Old kisses to new, and in the bodies

  Of younger learners throws off his sperm

  Like lumber just to ease the weight

  Of sighing for their youth, his abandoned own;

  And in the coital slumber poaches

  From lips and tongues the pollen

  Of youth, to dust the licence of his art.

  You cannot guess how he has been waiting

  For these years, these ripe and terrible

  Years of the agon; with the athlete’s

  Calm foreknowledge of a deathly ripeness,

  Facing perhaps a public death by blows,

  Or a massive sprain in the centre of his mind,

  The whole world; his champion fever glows

  With all the dark misgivings of the bout.

  But now even fear cannot despoil the body

  And will, trained for the even contest,

  Fed by the promise of his country’s laurels.

  So, having dispossessed himself, and being

  Now for the first time prepared to die

  He feels at last trained for the second life.

  1955/1954

  ON MIRRORS

  You gone, the mirrors all reverted,

  Lay banging in the empty house,

  Redoubled their efforts to impede

  Waterlogged images of faces pleading.

  So Fortunatus had a mirror which

  Imperilled his reason when it broke;

  The sleepers in their dormitory of glass

  Stirred once and sighed but never woke.

  Time amputated so will bleed no more

  But flow like refuse now in clocks

  On clinic walls, in libraries and barracks,

  Not made to spend but kill and nothing more.

  Yet mirrors abandoned drink like ponds:

  (Once they resumed the childhood of love)

  And overflowing, spreading, swallowing

  Like water light, show one averted face,

  As in the capsule of the human eye

  Seen at infinity, the outer end of time,

  A man and woman lying sun-bemused

  In a blue vineyard by the Latin sea,

  Steeped in each other’s minds and breathing there

  Like wicks inhaling deep in golden oil.

  1955/1954

  The notion of emptiness engenders compassion.

  MILA REPA

  ORPHEUS

  Orpheus, beloved famulus,

  Know to us in a dark congeries

  Of intimations from the dead:

  Encamping among our verses—

  Harp-beats of a sea-bird’s wings—

  Do you contend in us, though now

  A memory only, the smashed lyre

  Washed up entangled in your hair,

  But sounding still as here,

  O monarch of all initiates and

  The dancer’s only perfect peer?

  In the fecund silences of the

  Painter, or the poet’s wrestling

  With choice you steer like

  A great albatross, spread white

  On the earth-margins the sailing

  Snow-wings in the world’s afterlight:

  Mentor of all these paper ships

  Cockled from fancy on a tide

  Made navigable only by your skill

  Which in some few approves

  A paper recreation of lost loves.

  1955/1955

  MNEIAE

  Soft as puffs of smoke combining,

  Mneiae—remembrance of past lives:

  The shallow pigmentation of eternity

  Upon the pouch of time and place existing.

  I, the watcher, smoking at a table,

  And I, my selves, observed by human choice,

  A disinherited portion of the whole:

  With you the sibling of my self-desire
,

  The carnal and the temporal voice,

  The singing bird upon the spire:

  And love, the grammar of that war

  Which time’s the only ointment for,

  Which time’s the only ointment for.

  1955/1955

  NIKI

  Love on a leave-of-absence came,

  Unmoored the silence like a barge,

  Set free to float on lagging webs

  The swan-black wise unhindered night.

  (Bitter and pathless were the ways

  Of sleep to which such beauty led.)

  1955/1955

  THE DYING FALL

  The islands rebuffed by water.

  Estuaries of putty and gold.

  A smokeless arc of Latin sky.

  One star, less than a week old.

  Memory now, I lead her haltered.

  Stab of the opiate in the arm

  When the sea wears bronze scales and

  Hushes in the ambush of a calm.

  The old dialogue always rebegins

  Between us: but now the spring

  Ripens, neither will be attending,

  For rosy as feet of pigeons pressed

  In clay, the kisses we possessed,

  Or thought we did: so borrowing, lending,

  Stacked fortunes in our love’s society—

  Each in the perfect circle of a sigh was ending.

  1955/1955

  POEM

  Find time hanging, cut it down

  All the universe you own.

  Masterless and still untamed

  Poet, lead the race you’ve shamed.

  Lover, cut the rational knot

  That made your thinking rule-of-thumb

  And barefoot on the plum-dark hills

  Go Wander in Elysium.

  1960/1955

  AT STRATI’S

  Remember please, time has no joints,

  Pours over the great sills of thought,

  Not clogging nor resisting but

  Yawning to inherit the year’s quarters;

  Weaving you up the unbroken series

  Of corn, ammonites and men

  In a single unlaboured continuum,

  And not in slices called by day and night,

  And not in objects called by place and thing.

  You say I do not write, but the taverns

  Have no clocks, and I conscripted

  By loneliness observe how other drinkers

  Sit at Strati’s embalmed in reverie:

  Forms raise green cones of wine,

  And loaded heads recline on loaded arms,

  Under a sky pronounced by cypresses,

  Packed up, all of us, like loaves

  Human and plant, memory and wish.

  The very calendar props an empty inkwell.

  1955/1955

  THE TREE OF IDLENESS

  I shall die one day I suppose

  In this old Turkish house I inhabit:

  A ragged banana-leaf outside and here

  On the sill in a jam-jar a rock-rose.

  Perhaps a single pining mandolin

  Throbs where cicadas have quarried

  To the heart of all misgiving and there

  Scratches on silence like a pet locked in.

  Will I be more or less dead

  Than the village in memory’s dispersing

  Springs, or in some cloud of witness see,

  Looking back, the selfsame road ahead?

  By the moist clay of a woman’s wanting,

  After the heart has stopped its fearful

  Gnawing, will I descry between

  This life and that another sort of haunting?

  Author’s Note

  The title of this poem is taken from the name of the tree which stands outside Bellapaix Abbey in Cyprus, and which confers the gift of pure idleness on all who sit under it.

  No: the card-players in tabs of shade

  Will play on: the aerial springs

  Hiss: in bed lying quiet under kisses

  Without signature, with all my debts unpaid

  I shall recall nights of squinting rain,

  Like pig-iron on the hills: bruised

  Landscapes of drumming cloud and everywhere

  The lack of someone spreading like a stain.

  Or where brown fingers in the darkness move,

  Before the early shepherds have awoken,

  Tap out on sleeping lips with these same

  Worn typewriter keys a poem imploring

  Silence of lips and minds which have not spoken.

  1955/1955

  BITTER LEMONS

  In an island of bitter lemons

  Where the moon’s cool fevers burn

  From the dark globes of the fruit,

  And the dry grass underfoot

  Tortures memory and revises

  Habits half a lifetime dead

  Better leave the rest unsaid,

  Beauty, darkness, vehemence

  Let the old sea-nurses keep

  Their memorials of sleep

  And the Greek sea’s curly head

  Keep its calms like tears unshed

  Keep its calms like tears unshed.

  1960/1955

  NEAR KYRENIA

  The old Levant which made us once

  So massive a nurse and a protector

  Is quiet now under the moon. In waterglass

  Four noons have swallowed her,

  Black as a coalface to the Turkish coast.

  Your village sleeps your

  Little house is tucked away and locked.

  I do not know any longer what to make

  Of my feelings; for example, how our bodies

  Entangled in water softly floated out

  Beyond the limits of freewill, wet fingers

  Touching…. No longer to be intimidated

  By this empty beach, frail horned stars,

  A victim of memory who could not say

  How deft, how weightless are the kisses now

  Which wake this unknown, the night sea,

  Unlimbered here among its silver bars.

  1980/1955

  EPISODE1

  I should set about memorising this little room,

  The errors of taste which make it every other,

  Like and unlike, this ugly rented bed

  Now transfigured as a woman is transfigured

  By love, disfigured, related and yet unrelated

  To science, to the motiveless appeals of happiness.

  I should set about memorising this room

  It will be a long time empty and airless;

  Thoughts will hang about it like mangy cats,

  The mirror, vacant and idiotic as an actress

  Reflect darkness, cavity of an old tooth,

  A house shut up, a garden left untended.

  This is probably the very moment to store it all,

  Earlobes tasting of salt, a dying language

  Of perfume, and the heart of someone

  Hanging open on its hinges like a gate;

  Rice-powder on a sleeve and two dead pillows

  The telephone shook and shook but could not wake.

  1956/1955

  1 Originally published as ‘Nicosia’.

  THE MEETING

  I have brought my life to this point,

  Down long staircases of wanhope

  To this dead house, the heart, by

  Dusty parallels, by pastures of desire,

  By folly out of loneliness begotten, and

  Nothing I learned has been forgotten.

  Yet all this time you have been climbing

  The same black beanstalks of the mind,

  Through meadows of unshed tears,

  Quite near me though unseen,

  Depicted only by a shaking branch,

  A voice weeping in a cloud

  Or a commotion among the birds

  In every silence there has been.

  I have brought my l
ife to this point

  Where the paths in darkness cross.

  Now wait for the one annealing word,

  Belonging as spring rain to grass—

  But how if she should pass and lose

  The soft collision of these mortal worlds

  Called by our names? Was it for this

  The climbers set out for the heart of time

  Never to know the unknown face

  Or like a ghost of music to exchange

  Only the bitter keepsake of a smile?

  1980/1955

  JOHN DONNE

  From the dark viands of the church

  His food in tortured verse he bore

  Impersonating with each kiss

  All that he feared of love and more,

  For each must earn his thorny crown

  And each his poisoned kiss,

  Whoever quarries pain will find

  By that remove or this

  The sacrament the lovers took

  In wine-dark verse suborned his book,

  In every sensual measure heard

  The chuckles of the daemon Word.

  He saw the dark blood in the cup

  Which one day drank his being up.

 

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