by Lish McBride
“Why do they keep going for my crotch?”
“Perhaps that’s their way of showing affection,” Val yelled, trying to make herself heard over the melee. Her pistol clicked, her rounds spent. “Kaiya, switch!”
Kaiya moved in front of her, bringing up the crossbow and loosing bolt after bolt on the creatures while Val reloaded.
Tevin could see Hob batting another fladger out of the air with his paw. Val was grinning as she snapped her pistols shut.
“I think you’re enjoying this,” Tevin said, holding the reins in a death grip.
“I’m not not enjoying it.” She stepped forward, flanking Kaiya. For several minutes, they kicked, shot, and punched their attackers away. When Kaiya ran out of crossbow bolts, she pulled out a dagger and dropped into a crouch. By then the madness had mostly stopped, the fladgers either dead or fleeing. They watched warily, but the remaining creatures seemed to be ignoring them now. After a few more minutes, the last of the fladgers waddled away, having decided that their quarry wasn’t worth it. They were left in a trampled clearing, the only noise coming from the marar as he settled down to eat one of the fladgers he’d caught.
“Is it over?” Tevin asked. “Kaiya, I thought you said they weren’t aggressive.”
“Maybe it’s rutting season?” Kaiya wiped her dagger in the grass, checking the blade carefully before sheathing it. “Or perhaps they got into the same flower as Val.” She walked over to the nearest slain fladger, put her boot on it, and pulled out one of her crossbow bolts. She sighed. “It’s cracked.” Kaiya threw it on the ground. “Val, help me get the bolts. Only keep the ones that seem to be intact.” They quickly gathered up the bolts while Tevin managed the horses.
“I hate having to kill so many,” Kaiya said. “Maybe they were sick, I don’t know.”
“It was us or them,” Val said. “But that doesn’t make me feel good about it, either. At least Hob will be well fed.”
* * *
• • •
They exited the forest, weary and travel-worn, and made their way into Dalliance—a small town nestled between brilliant green foothills. Tevin waited with Hob on the outskirts until Val could figure out where everyone else was staying. Luckily, Dalliance’s size meant that people had a limited number of options.
Kaiya pointed at a slender road that snaked up into the mountains. “That’s where we have to go tomorrow morning. Those are the Nobbles.”
“That’s a terrible name for mountains,” Tevin said, following where she pointed.
“Yes, well, they aren’t really mountains, more like really large hills. The one to the right there, it doesn’t have a proper peak, but a flat top, like a plateau. That’s where Huldre’s castle is.”
The Nobbles were heavily wooded, the occasional thin road snaking across the sides. “Single road entrance?”
Kaiya nodded.
“We’re definitely going to have to bluff our way in, then.” Tevin stared at the Nobbles, not liking all of that land between him and Merit. They seemed so close now; he wanted to urge his horse into a canter and go straight to her.
Val arrived then and led them to the small set of rooms that Glendon had managed to rent. There was a shared sitting room, which boasted a love seat and a round table with four mismatched chairs. Two bedrooms, each with two beds. It was a room usually used for family visitors, and they were going to have to share beds, not that anyone was complaining. They had to sneak Hob in through the back stairs in the same way they’d apparently used for Cedric, as they didn’t think it was a good idea for the big cat to sleep in the stables. Tevin told Hob firmly that Cedric was a friend and he wasn’t allowed to eat him, which only seemed to alarm the ostrich more.
Everyone had been busy in their absence.
“We’re going to sneak in as performers,” Amaury said. “Glendon and everyone else can go in with their invitations. I figured since we had an ostrich, it was our best bet, and it meant we could wear costumes to disguise ourselves.”
“The only problem is that the performers received different invitations.” Glendon eyed Hob as he sniffed the ambassador’s shoes. “Ellery went out with Willa and Diadora earlier to see if they could get their hands on one.”
“How was the forest?” Amaury asked, pulling out a slim wooden case. Tevin knew from experience that it was full of pens, pigments, and other tools of the forgery trade.
“It feels like I played a round of poule and I was the chicken.”
“Poule?” Glendon asked.
“It’s a game. People throw things at a chicken. Whoever hits the chicken wins.” Tevin loosened his tie. “It’s a fairly simple game.”
“What do they win?” Glendon rested his chin in his hand and watched Amaury set up.
“The chicken.” Tevin leaned back in his chair. “It’s a popular game in the poorer districts.”
The door rattled, and the rest of their group piled in.
“All hail the conquering heroes,” Willa said, drawing a tube of paper out of a hidden pocket in her skirts. She unrolled it, displaying the rough sketch of what appeared to be Huldre’s castle. “All Diadora had to do was bat her eyes and smile, and people told her all kinds of stuff.”
“The powers of asking people nicely,” Diadora said, pushing her curls back out of her face. “We have a rough outline of Huldre’s palace based on the information we were able to gather. It’s not complete, but I’m hoping Glendon can fill some of it out.”
Ellery swayed, collapsing next to Glendon. “I got the grooms drunk. For such skinny little things, they sure packed away a great deal of moonshine.” They tried to unbutton their vest and missed a button, frowning at it. “Respectable.”
“Did you learn anything from the grooms, besides the fact that they’re respectable drinkers?” Tevin asked.
“Support staff is supposed to stay in the village, so we can’t sneak in as grooms or maids or anything like that. Amaury was right.” Ellery blinked, fumbling another button. “Did you see that? Damn things keep disappearing. Some mage magicked my blinkin’ vest.”
Kaiya took pity on Ellery and helped with their buttons. “Ellery, do you have anything for the assuredly wicked hangover you’re going to have? We won’t have time to coddle you in the morning.”
Ellery’s head lolled in a vague approximation of a nod. “Bring me my thingie.”
“Anything else?” Tevin asked as Val fetched the healer’s bag.
“Rumor going around that a jilted lover wants to protest the union, so guards will be keeping him out.” Ellery looked at Tevin blearily. “That’s you. The upside is that you’re so damn pretty that people are stealing your wanted posters. There’s an actual underground market on them.” They dug into their back pocket, missed, tried again, and managed to pull out a stained and folded piece of paper. Ellery tossed it to Tevin. He unfolded it and found a fair likeness of his face.
“Nothing we didn’t anticipate after the train station,” Glendon said, looking over Tevin’s shoulder. “You’ll need to stay in the rooms until we’re ready to go. It might be best if we all keep out of sight until we head to the castle.”
“Try to get a seat up front,” Tevin said. “In case something goes wrong or we don’t get to Merit in time. We might need you three to stop the wedding somehow.”
“We’ll handle it,” Willa said.
“Ellery, did you manage to get ahold of an entertainer’s invite?” Amaury asked. He had all of his pigments and odds and ends out and ready.
Ellery had just finished tipping back some sort of powder into their throat and was sipping from a cup of water Kaiya had handed them.
“I really hope you’re not poisoning yourself.” Kaiya watched her friend with gentle amusement.
Ellery shook their head. “Everything’s in abbible . . . appapiiple . . . apple pie order.” The healer reached into their shirt and p
ulled out a rumpled piece of paper. “Borrowed this. Have to get it back. Don’t want to leave the boy atwixt a rock and a hard place. Not a bamboozler like you lot. Gave him my word.”
“Gave who your word?” Tevin asked, taking the paper. “Oh, good, this is damp.”
“Spilled my drink,” Ellery slurred.
“I certainly hope so.” Tevin handed the paper to Amaury.
The faintest whisper of a smile lit Amaury’s face. “Brilliant, Ellery.”
Tevin leaned over his shoulder. The (slightly) damp paper in Amaury’s hand was a signed contract for a group of fire-eaters. Now that Amaury knew what the entertainment was going to be carrying, their chances had become infinitely better.
Tevin clapped the healer on the shoulder. “Amaury’s right. You’re brilliant. Thank you.”
“As sharp as a tack in a barefoot hootenanny,” Val said with a grin.
“I didn’t understand most of what you just said,” Ellery admitted, “and I can’t tell if that’s the drink or you, but either way it’s time for bed.”
Ellery was snoring before they hit the mattress.
CHAPTER 32
BACK BEHIND BARS
The guard at the gate examined their invitation carefully before looking back at Amaury. Glendon, Willa, and Diadora, of course, had gone separately. Ellery and Kaiya had decided to join Tevin’s team, just in case the guards were looking for a group of three. After a quick discussion, they decided to be something called the Mythical Monte Calvos, a traveling performance group.
Since Amaury had spent the least time in contact with Latimer, he was to be the head of the troupe. Ellery expressed some skepticism about this—Amaury was more of the type to blend into shadows than act the flamboyant showman. Tevin and Val promised them that Amaury was a DuMont and had therefore mastered enough skills and personas to help them now.
The guard stared at Amaury, dressed in ostentatious silks, the bright colors shifting as he moved, the jewels sewn into them catching the light. He’d applied a thick line of kohl and color paints to his eyes.
“Did he have that with him in his bag?” Ellery said in a low voice, their lips barely moving. Ellery was similarly garbed in vibrant colors, the bright gold of a gown borrowed from Diadora, and golden face paint. Ellery had looked decidedly uncomfortable while they were getting dressed. They were used to wearing trousers, but no one had trousers that were flashy enough for Ellery to use as a costume.
“Probably,” Tevin said, pretending not to watch the guards as he assessed them. His siblings usually had a few such items with them. Ellery and Val had to do their best with clothing pooled from the group, and Tevin’s and Amaury’s skills with makeup.
“Very few people could pull an outfit like that off, and I wouldn’t have thought your brother would be one of them. But he is stunning.” Ellery’s head tilted. “Are there any ugly people in your family?”
“We’re just ugly on the inside,” Tevin said. “It’s protective coloring, like those brightly colored poisonous frogs.”
Ellery stifled a laugh.
The guard stepped closer to Amaury. “What kind of troupe are you?”
Amaury puffed himself up like a strutting rooster. “You’ve never heard of the Mythical Monte Calvos? We’re magic! We’re mysterious!” He sniffed, his nose high. “You’re lucky we are here.”
Kaiya, her dress a striking scarlet, her face painted like Amaury’s, guided Cedric forward. The horse she’d been riding was currently being used as a packhorse, since riding an ostrich made them look more like a troupe of entertainers, and would also explain Cedric’s presence. They’d managed to fashion him a jeweled collar in matching scarlet, painting the rest of him in bright swirls of color. He’d been uncomfortable about going anywhere naked, but they reminded him that he wasn’t technically naked because he was covered in feathers.
Tevin wasn’t sure which one of them had been more uncomfortable: Ellery and Val in borrowed dresses, or Cedric. Hob, for his part, had patiently accepted the jeweled collar they’d assembled for him. Diadora had, kindly, waited to take her tincture this morning until after she’d talked enough for them to gather the jewels for their costumes.
“We dance, we juggle, we ride.” Kaiya lifted one hand grandly, her fingers pointing up like a dancer. “There is nothing we cannot do.”
Tevin didn’t look at the guard, but instead stared ahead, his face a calm mask. He’d shaved this morning and slicked his hair back, covering it with a long blond wig. His face was painted like his brother’s, a sweeping rainbow of colors, kohl darkening the rims of his eyelids, framing eyes that were now a deep blue. Some costumes obscured features, and some, like the ones they wore, didn’t bother but instead distracted the eye. It was hard to pay attention to facial features when they were covered in rainbow makeup.
The guard, not taking his eyes off Kaiya or, more specifically, her formfitting dress, finally handed back their invite and let them pass.
Tevin urged his horse through the gate nestled in the tall palisades surrounding Huldre’s castle and gave a sigh of relief. Between the worry over Merit and his brain helpfully kicking up every single thing that could go wrong today, he’d barely slept. As a result, his nerves were on edge.
“Try not to look so relieved,” Val said, her lips tipped up in a smile. “We still have a long way to go.”
Tevin mimicked the haughty gaze and bearing of his brother and followed them deeper into the grounds. There was already quite a mass of people. The wedding had brought out the crowds in droves. Jugglers, fire-eaters, and tumblers, all lit by the giant bonfires that dotted the area. A group of musicians sat in a ring around one fire. Guitars, banjos, fiddles, and even a mandolin played together, making music as couples danced and twirled. The air was thick with music, laughter, and the smell of roasting meat, corn, and a dozen other foods that Tevin couldn’t even name. His stomach growled, but he ignored it as they chose their camping spot and dismounted. Tevin left the rest of them to set up camp and settle the horses while he went with Val to get a better idea of the layout of the grounds. Hob grumbled about being left behind, making several people move away from them.
Close now, he was so close. Only Huldre castle’s thick oak doors kept him from Merit. Doubt snaked its way into Tevin’s thoughts. Latimer’s home was so grand. So were Cedric’s and Freddie’s. Generations of good breeding and land—Tevin had a leather satchel full of clothes and a face full of rainbow makeup. That wasn’t much to offer a person. He wondered if he should bother with his offer, or if he should just step aside and let Cedric marry Merit.
They finally broke into the outer ring of the crowd, moving closer to the castle doors. Tevin followed Val as she moved around, taking them to the side of the building to see if any of the back entrances were open. He glanced behind them while turning the corner and smacked right into Val . . . who had walked right into Latimer. Though Tevin’s costume was good enough for strangers, it did nothing to hide him from Latimer or the guards who were with him.
The guards grabbed Tevin’s arms and spun him around. The metal of the cuffs was cold as they slapped them onto his wrists. Val met a similar fate.
“I was hoping you’d be smart enough to—” Latimer hesitated, glancing quickly at the guards, who hadn’t seemed to notice the prince’s hesitation. “Stay away.”
“Let me talk to Merit. See that she’s okay. Then we’ll go.”
Latimer laughed. “I could send you to the moon more easily.” He nodded to the guards. “I’m sorry, I really am. They’re going to take you to the dungeons now. It’s the safest place for you.”
“Should we search the grounds, milord?” one of the guards asked.
Latimer leaned close to Tevin and said the words slowly. “Did anyone else come with you?”
“No,” Tevin lied. “My brother stayed home.”
Latimer’s lips curled up into a hint
of a smile. “No, you don’t need to search.” He straightened.
The guard seemed unsure. Latimer drew himself up. “I’ve met the brother. He’s a liability. I know I would have left him behind if I had the chance. You’re welcome to look about the place, but then you would need to explain to the queen why you weren’t at your post.”
Both of the guards paled. Latimer nodded. “That’s what I thought.” He turned to walk away and then stopped. “What you can do is spread the word that you captured two prisoners and put them in the dungeon. Let people know exactly what happens to people who go against us.”
“Yes, milord.”
Then the guards dragged Tevin and Val away while Latimer vanished back into the castle.
CHAPTER 33
PLAN B
This seems familiar,” Val said, slumping onto the hard bench that lined the cell.
Tevin slumped next to her. “We went through all of this only to end up back in the pokey. We didn’t even get to talk to Merit.”
Val bumped him with her shoulder. “At least it’s a different cell, yeah? Progress!”
Tevin rubbed his wrists. They’d taken the handcuffs off when they’d thrown him in with Val. The dungeon, as Latimer called it, was indeed under the castle. It was wet and dank and fitting of the moniker, though it was fairly clean. A handful of cells lined one wall facing a table and four chairs for the guards.
Tevin and Val had been searched, and their stuff, such as it was, currently sat on that table, waiting for the guards to decide what to do with it. He could see Val’s pistols and her holster, Tevin’s wig, and various odds and ends from their pockets. Two guards sat in the chairs, playing cards and grumbling about missing the party tonight as well as the feast that would follow. One of them, a large oafish man, his skin so pale you could see the blue tracery of veins underneath, was most certainly cheating. Tevin hadn’t caught him switching out the cards yet, but he could see the man’s hand, and it changed too much for the draw to be the reason. His cohort, a woman a good two inches taller than Tevin, shouldn’t have been playing at all. She chewed her lip when she was nervous, and Tevin could see a fine sheen of sweat beading the deep brown skin of her brow. She had a terrible poker face, her tells blatant.
