by Kim Law
“No.” The word shot out of him, and he pulled her back. “No,” he said again, more calmly, while holding her steady in his arms. “To both of those things. You didn’t use me. And you’re nothing like her. Nothing, Dani. Listen to me. I googled ‘Narcissistic Personality Disorder’ after I heard Jaden say it.”
“You heard?” she asked. She sounded mortified.
He swallowed his guilt. “Yes. I stood in the hallway and listened. But only for a minute. I’m sorry. I probably shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t just walk away. You looked so scared. I wanted to come to you. When Jaden mentioned what it was, I came in here to find out more. So I could help,” he told her. That was what he wanted most right then, to help.
She blinked up at him and he noticed that her eyes had gone hollow. That was worse than being sad. “She manipulated people,” Dani said. “She manipulated me.” She licked her lips. “And I did the same to you.”
“You may have behaved in ways similar to what you’d grown up seeing, but there’s a world of difference in you and her. She didn’t care about you. She couldn’t care. You care about everyone.” Too much, he often thought, but now he understood why. “And you came to me that night for a reason.”
“Because I was tired of being a virgin.”
He almost smiled at her blunt statement, but it wasn’t the time for laughter. “Or because you were drawn to me, sweetheart.” He pushed a strand of hair behind her ear and pressed a kiss to her cheek. Her skin was soft beneath his. “We’ve always been drawn to each other.”
We still are.
“None of it is an excuse for what I did to you. I shouldn’t have come in here that night. I shouldn’t have taken off my clothes.”
“Dani, listen to me. You didn’t do anything to me. We made love. And I enjoyed the hell out of it. Every second of it. I only wish you’d still been in my arms the next morning.”
He tucked her back against his chest, afraid she would leave him, and tried to force his own heart rate to slow. When she once again pulled back, he tensed. Her eyes were watering again, but no tears fell.
“I did too,” she told him solemnly. “Enjoyed it. Every second.”
“Then no more worrying, okay? Just let me hold you.”
The instant he had her face back against his neck, she whispered, “I still want you to make love to me.”
His heart seized, and this time he looked down at her with serious contemplation.
Could he do that?
“I’m using you again,” she stated when their gazes met. “I know that. Maybe that’s all I know how to do. But it’s the only thing in my life that makes sense right now. You. You’re what makes sense, and I need that. I need you.” She reached up, and when her fingers trailed across his lips again, he damn near moaned out loud. “I need to feel like something in my life fits,” she said. “And you fit me.”
Ah, hell. He was going to do it.
And he realized that in doing so, he just might get his heart broken again. Because yeah, she’d broken it the first time. It wasn’t like he’d been planning to stay back then, or even to carry on a long-distance romance, but he’d thought their night together was more than sex.
Then she’d disappeared. And he hadn’t talked to her in ten years.
Before he could make up his mind, she pulled her shirt over her head and his blood told his brain good-bye.
“Dani,” he warned. Her breasts were small in the pale lacy bra, the top curves capturing his attention as she pulled in breaths of air, and he remembered how perfectly she fit into his palms. How her nipples had pebbled at his touch.
It had been ten years, yet every detail rushed at him as if it were yesterday.
“Make love to me, Ben. Please.”
“Babe. You don’t play fair.”
Her mouth reached for his then, and it was hot and seeking. Her tongue slipped past his lips as her hands held his head between her palms. And he wasn’t innocent in the action, either. One hand slid to her rear. He squeezed the curve of her butt in his palm and groaned into her mouth.
Her behind had a way of making him restless even with the best of intentions, but with her in his arms and her mouth hot on his, his intentions were shot to hell.
“Dani.” He tried again, thinking he had to say no.
But knowing that he wouldn’t.
“I know what I’m doing,” she told him. “And I promise, I won’t regret anything.” She leaned back and looked at him, her eyes serious. “I just hope you won’t either.”
Fuck.
He probably would.
“Don’t you dare leave my bed while I’m sleeping this time,” he demanded. “Not again.”
A slight smile curved her mouth. “I promise.”
Ben’s mouth returned to hers, and Dani shook in his arms. He captured her head with his hands, replicating how she’d held him, and he took their kiss from heated to blazing. He possessed her. And she loved every second of it.
She had Ben again.
He devoured her only for a short moment, the scruff of his unshaven jaw scratching over her, intensifying the sensations, before easing up and sipping at her mouth. He moved to the tip of her nose to place a tiny kiss there, then headed farther from her lips. She groaned, nudging her mouth after his, but he refused to allow her to capture him.
As his heated breath came into contact with the shell of her ear, his hand skimmed down her body at the same time. Goose bumps lit on her skin, and her breasts begged for freedom.
“Ben,” she urged. She ached to her core, but there was just enough awareness left that she understood the pain wasn’t purely from longing. She hurt from what she’d learned tonight. “I love foreplay as much as the next person,” she breathed out, “but hurry.”
When his mouth touched just underneath her ear, she purred like a satisfied cat.
“Please,” she begged.
“No hurry, babe,” he told her as he trailed over her jaw. “Not tonight.”
And though what she wanted most was to speed things up, if only to wipe the family meeting from her mind, she also wanted every single second that Ben had to offer. She was selfish that way.
He rose from the chair with her to his chest, and as he had the first time he’d carried her, he crossed the room. He put her on the bed, not bothering with the covers or lights, and simply came down beside her, refocusing on his mission.
His hands explored her body then. They skimmed over her jean-covered legs until reaching her feet, then back the way they’d come, his long fingers dipping between her thighs, taunting as his thumb traced the length of her zipper. Her body arched toward him, desperate for more, and her fingers slipped behind her back to undo her bra.
“Wait.” The word stopped her movements.
Before she could do more, Ben had both her arms stretched above her head, their palms flattened together and his body running the length of hers. His head dipped, and his mouth closed over her left breast. She surged up once again.
“Ben,” she moaned his name. “Seriously.”
She didn’t have a lot up top, but what she did have was sensitive. And with Ben’s thigh now pressing into the apex of her jeans, she began a slow grinding rhythm against his leg while his mouth laved her breast.
She wanted more. And she really, really wanted it now.
When he separated his mouth from her body, the air touched the damp lace at the same time that his whiskers scraped over the very same spot. She moaned uncontrollably, and squeezed her legs around his thigh.
Then he sought out her mouth.
She took the opportunity to fight back. Her arms were still pinned, so she captured his bottom lip and sucked it hard into her mouth. His hands clenched against hers, and she felt his groan roll through his body.
“Babe,” he growled the instant she turned him loose.
&nbs
p; She answered by capturing his lip again, only this time with a nip of her teeth. He bucked against her.
“More,” she insisted. “Now. I want to touch you.”
He shook his head. “I can’t let you do that yet.” His words became breathless, and he once again sought out a breast. This time, her right one. She sighed in pleasure.
“Why not?” She thrust toward his mouth as he bit down on her, and her body shook to her toes. With his knee still between her legs, she thought she might be nearing the finish line already. Which really would be a shame. She didn’t even have her pants off.
“Because the instant you put your fingers on me,” he said, his words muffled against the lace of her bra, “I’m going to lose my mind.”
She liked the sound of that, and she knew her smile advertised her gratification. “Maybe it won’t be so bad to lose your mind,” she suggested. She wrapped both legs around his hips and pressed into his erection.
“Oh, it won’t be bad.” He grunted as he pumped himself against her, their jeans blocking his entry. “But it’ll be fast.”
She laughed then, tossing her head back and letting him feast on her body. “This, Ben. This is what I need. Your hands. Your mouth.” She sucked in a shaky breath as his lips found her neck. “Just . . . you.”
Her tone changed with her final words, though she hadn’t meant for it to. It grew serious. A bit sad. And she knew Ben noticed. He removed his delicious lips from her skin to look down at her. “You okay?”
She nodded and bit her lip. She hadn’t meant to slow the moment down.
“I don’t want to do anything to hurt you,” he told her. “Ever.” He brought her hands down, clasping them to her chest. At the same time he shifted to his knees and straddled her hips. He caressed one finger from her brow to her cheek. “I would never intentionally do anything to hurt you.”
“You aren’t hurting me.”
“You’re sure?” he asked. “This is really what you want?”
She nodded again. A lump had formed in her throat, making it hard to do anything else. The blockage was partially because she was moved by his concern, but equally because she knew there was this big thing she was hiding from at the moment. A thing she’d have to deal with later.
But she didn’t have to deal with it right now.
Right now she wanted to feel. She needed to connect.
She was hiding behind the shield of sex, yes, but she was doing it fully aware. Allowing herself the temporary reprieve.
Pulling her hands free of his, she unbuttoned his shirt and slid her palms beneath the material. He sucked in air as her fingers connected with the heated ridges of his skin. Enjoying the moment, she took her time tracing the outline of his muscles.
When she scraped a thumbnail over his nipple, he shuddered above her.
“I’m supposed to be touching you,” he ground out. But she noticed that he didn’t hinder her movements.
“No one said you couldn’t touch me,” she taunted. She tweaked his nipple and silently dared him to replicate the move on her.
He accepted her dare, and within seconds he had her bra off and her breasts bare.
Their movements remained slow. Her mapping out his chest, pushing his shirt off his shoulders, and roaming her palms down his equally strong arms. While he took his time cupping and squeezing and pinching until she was coiled tight.
She liked this man’s hands on her. And she liked the look of awe in his eyes as he touched her. He treated her—then and now—as if she’d given him a prize to be cherished. And that meant the world to her.
“Lock the door, Ben.” At his hazy look, she added, “My brothers are in the other room.”
“Ah, geez.” He reared back, but she caught his wrists and put his hands back on her chest. She covered his fingers with hers. “We’re not stopping,” she told him.
“Your brothers will kill me if they find out.”
“Then we’ll be quiet.” She stared at him. “But we’re not stopping.”
She didn’t break eye contact as she squeezed his long fingers with hers, causing him to simultaneously tighten around her breasts. With the action, she surged into his hands once again, and he groaned in response. He nodded in capitulation. “We’re not stopping,” he agreed.
When he rose up off her that time, she knew he would be back. He headed for the door, and she tucked her arms beneath her head, taking the opportunity to feast in the glory of this man.
His chest was broad and strong, his back matching the front. And his shoulders looked lethal. The indentations at his waist, though, the ones that disappeared ever so temptingly right into the front of his jeans . . . they made her bold.
“Take off your pants,” she instructed after he locked the door.
Her words stopped him, and then he smiled. It was that slow torturous movement of his lips that caused her to press her legs together every single time she saw it. His fingers went to his zipper.
“I like that smile,” she told him.
“And I like you in my bed.” The rip of the zipper sounded in the quiet room, and she touched her top lip with the tip of her tongue. But he didn’t do anything more.
“Jeans, Hollywood,” she whispered hoarsely. “Off. Now.”
And off they came.
He stood ten feet from her, his erection behind the black cotton of his briefs, but the material most certainly did not hide anything. He was a big man, and the sight of him made her mouth water.
“Your turn,” he told her. He didn’t come back to her, just eyed her jeans, and she noticed that his breathing was as sketchy as hers.
She complied by inching her zipper down before lifting her hips off the bed and purposefully shimmying to get the denim to her thighs. His Adam’s apple moved as he watched, so she let her fingertips slide ever so slightly between her thighs.
“Dani.” His voice was as heavy as hers.
“Yes?” She kicked off the jeans, and lay there in nothing but a tiny pair of panties.
“You’d better be ready, woman.” He picked up a duffle and rummaged around inside. “Because you’ve just pushed me across the line.”
“I never did like those lines,” she told him.
He tossed the bag aside and took a condom from the box he’d pulled out.
Then his teeth and fingers dragged her underwear down her legs, her hands shoved at his briefs, and somehow, one of them rolled a condom down over the very masculine part of him that she was so very interested in.
“Oh, my,” she exclaimed faintly as she stared at him.
She lifted her eyes to his, noticing once again the look of awe that sat just behind the heat of his arousal. Then he leaned over and captured her mouth as he slid himself deep inside her body.
chapter fifteen
Ben lay in bed two hours later, his eyes following the shadows from the branches outside his window, while he listened to Dani breathe. She lay tucked against him, same as she had since he’d pulled the covers up over them and turned off the light, but unlike the past two hours, she was now awake. He’d felt the languor of sleep leave her body about five minutes earlier, but she had yet to speak.
Of course, neither had he.
He feared breaking the silence would send her running from his room. And since he’d only just gotten her back into his bed, he really didn’t want her hurrying off.
He closed his eyes and faked sleep as he replayed the moments of making love with her.
She’d been fun, hot, and exuberant. And he’d been thankful.
But she’d also held back. She hadn’t put everything she was into it, and he couldn’t blame her. She’d found out tonight that her mother had not only manipulated her when she’d been alive, but apparently it had continued into death. Dani had been trapped in her own life, and her entire family had been aware of that fact. Yet, they’d
done nothing to help her out of it.
He couldn’t imagine the emotions she had to be processing.
Then there was the fact that she’d come to him when she was hurt.
That meant something to him, but he had no idea if she saw it the same way. He did know her well enough, though, to understand that she would be having second thoughts about her actions. He just hoped she realized it had been the right move.
She shifted against him, the sheet sliding with her naked body, and he fought the urge to roll over and bury his face against her warm skin. He wanted more. Once was not enough.
“You awake?” she asked.
He tucked in his chin and looked down at her. “Yep.”
Wide eyes stared back in the moonlit room. “Have you slept?”
“Nope.”
“Why not?” She covered a yawn with her hand, and moved out of his arms, tugging the sheet up with her. After she propped herself against the headboard, he studied the cotton covering her breasts and he told himself to lie. She didn’t need to know the truth. It would only make him sound pathetic.
But he didn’t.
Because he was pathetic when it came to her. “Because I didn’t want to wake and find you gone,” he admitted.
He’d lain there, eyes open, waiting for her to wake up and leave his side for the past one hundred twenty minutes.
She glanced at the bedroom door, and he recognized the facts. She wanted to go.
“You having regrets?” he asked.
“No.” But she didn’t look at him. It hurt.
“Want to go for a second round, then?” His question brought her gaze to his and he smiled. When she gave no response, he let the smile fall. “It wasn’t a mistake,” he told her.
“I know. I’m just thinking.”
“Want to tell me about it?”
