by Kim Law
She pictured her dad with Gloria the night they’d announced their engagement. They’d been smiling and cuddling together in the living room, and Dani had wished it were her mother sitting there with her dad. But today she could remember clearly that her mom had never once showed authentic loving feelings toward her husband.
There had been smiles in public. Hugs and laughter for cameras.
But they’d all been fake.
Even as a kid, Dani had registered that, though she hadn’t understood it at the time. Her mother’s love had come with conditions. She’d been a master manipulator. An expert liar. And she’d been willing to do whatever it took to get what she wanted.
It terrified Dani to think of how much of her mother’s behaviors she might have picked up. She’d finally looked Narcissistic Personality Disorder up, though. The Internet was a wonderful thing, and she’d spent hours the night before scouring sites. Her research indicated the prevailing thought was that the disorder wasn’t genetic. That didn’t mean she couldn’t behave the same, though. That her brothers didn’t have their own problems. They’d all grown up with that personality in the house. Of course they would have picked up some bad habits.
But the question was, were they reversible?
She supposed only time would tell.
Wiping her hands down the side of her jeans, she pulled in a deep breath, swiped at the tears on her face, and pushed that worry down for another time. Right now she had a desk to clean out.
Kneeling in front of it, she removed the tiara and the pink boa, then she pulled out the carefully wrapped package underneath. It was covered with parchment paper she remembered sneaking into the kitchen late one night to get, and tied with a red ribbon she’d once used in her hair.
These were the letters from Aunt Sadie after her mom had banned her from the house.
There had been no visits, and no calls, but Dani and Sadie had still written for a couple of years. They used the mailing address of a friend of Dani’s so Dani’s mother wouldn’t see the letters. They’d filled a void for a while, given her something to cling to. But then her mother had found one of them when she’d been snooping through Dani’s underwear drawer, and Dani had spent the next three weeks locked in her room. Supposedly she’d been sick.
Too sick for her brothers or father to see her.
After that, Aunt Sadie hadn’t written anymore. It had just been Dani and her mom. Until Dani had been released from the grip of distorted “love” due to her mother’s death.
Remaining in the drawer was one last item. She left it there.
It was a journal she recognized from the years after Aunt Sadie’s letters had stopped. She remembered pouring out her feelings on the pages inside, and she recalled the burn of guilt that had scorched her each time she’d put pen to paper. But she’d had to have someone to talk to and that small notebook had been it.
She didn’t want to look inside it. She wasn’t sure she ever would.
Turning from the desk, she spent the next hour alone in her room, reading through the letters she’d once cherished. There was nothing all that incriminating in them, just two people who loved each other sharing details of their life.
There was a running theme throughout, though. Aunt Sadie had always made sure to tell Dani how special she was. How pretty and smart she was. Or whatever applied at the time. She’d been doing her best to build Dani up, even from a thousand miles away. Thank God for Aunt Sadie.
A soft knock sounded at her door and she pushed the letters off her lap to answer it.
Ben stood there, like life support.
“You okay?” he asked. His warm eyes drilled into her.
She tried to nod but all she managed was a blink. “I talked to my dad tonight.”
“I saw him leave earlier.” He grimaced. “I overheard part of the conversation. Want to talk about it?”
“Not really.” She was too raw to walk through it right then.
“Want a hug?”
That brought a shaky smile. “Please.”
He stepped inside her room and closed the door, then pulled her into his strong arms. Even though no more tears fell, some of the pain inside her eased. This man always knew when she needed him, and he knew what she needed the most. Right then, it was simply comfort. And his arms were the most comforting thing she’d ever met.
She held on tight for fear he would leave before she’d had enough, but she needn’t have worried. He didn’t let her go. She began to get the feeling that he would hang on for as long as she’d let him.
Finally, she loosened her grip and leaned back to peer up at him. “I signed a lease for an apartment in New York.”
A shadow passed through his eyes. “Good for you.”
When she didn’t say anything else, just stood there wondering what to do next, he leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. He didn’t push for more, and she didn’t offer it. But she felt the strength of who he was through that one tiny touch.
She felt the strength of who they were.
After releasing her, Ben took in the scattered letters and the wadded-up tissues she’d gone through while reading them, then he took her hand and led her out of the room.
“Let’s take a walk,” he said.
It sounded like the best idea Dani had heard all day.
chapter nineteen
Late Tuesday afternoon, Ben found himself sitting with the Wilde boys just outside the main barn. Nate had come in earlier in the day, though Dani had yet to see him. She’d been in town since that morning, working on last-minute details with a couple of her clients.
But now, with the workday over and the pickers having headed to their temporary accommodations, Ben, all the brothers, and Megan were enjoying a cold beer and a handful of sweet cherries as they sat, propped back and feet up. Max had disappeared with the last truckload of cherries, and Jenna and Haley were up at the house with Gloria. They were having a playdate with Jenna’s friend Leslie Roberts, and it was looking like Leslie might be the front-runner to becoming Haley’s new other best friend.
Ben smiled to himself as he thought about his daughter and her strict requirements on friendship. She must be a girl, like pink, adore playing with Barbies, and most importantly, not eat all the ice cream.
Since going to the therapist for the first time, they’d been working on those friends, but Haley remained adamant that she only had room for two. He had caught her playing with several of the workers’ kids throughout the week, though. And that hadn’t seemed to cause her trouble.
“We’ll be finished by this time next week,” Gabe said from his nearly reclined position. He was leaned back on his elbows and staring at the blue sky.
“How do you already know that?” Megan asked. The girl had been right in the middle of everything since harvest began, taking an interest as though she intended to stay. Ben had noticed Dani take note of this herself, and he’d made sure to point out that, like Jaden, Megan would also be enrolled in a master’s program come the fall.
Dani either didn’t believe him, or no longer cared. She’d been different since her talk with her dad. Colder, in a way. But also happier. Less concerned with the orchard. More looking forward to New York.
“Years and years of doing it,” Gabe answered. “Plus, we’ve made it through over half the trees.” He took a long swig of his beer, eyed Michelle, who’d come out of the house in the distance, then returned his attention to the assembled crowd.
“Jaden mentioned a party?” Megan asked.
“Huge party,” Nick added, raising his beer as if in a toast. “The pickers are ready to let loose by then, and they’re the ones who cook. Great Mexican food, music, dancing. We bring in a local band. Wednesday night in the back lot, after all the trees have been picked.”
“Only, this year will be different,” Gabe added.
“Dani’s
going-away party,” Nate said, answering Megan’s questioning look. “She boards a plane first thing the next day.”
Ben took a drink of his own beer then, and ignored his racing heart. Nine more days and she’d be gone. And he was thrilled for her.
But, nine more days and she’d be gone.
Since he’d held her in her room Sunday night, they’d fallen back into the old pattern of nightly talks. Only, instead of sitting out at the boat dock, they’d been on the move. They’d traversed the orchard Sunday night, and the night before, she’d taken him to the neighbor’s property to show him the perfect diving cliff.
They hadn’t dived, of course. They were just walking. And talking. Like friends.
Except, he did hold her hand. And he wanted her more than ever. But there had been no kissing, and there had most certainly been no shedding of clothes. Maybe there had been a little flirting, though. He’d given it his best shot.
But even without the physical, Ben savored every second of his time with her.
“So, do I need to kick your ass?”
Ben brought his attention back to Gabe. “Excuse me?”
Everyone else had moved off, heading toward the beach. The day had been hot and long, and Ben had seen the ties of a swimsuit at the back of Megan’s neck. She looked like a kid next to the older brothers, a foot shorter than them, but with Jaden’s lesser height beside hers, she fit. She held his hand while Nick and Nate walked on the other side of her. Both men stood straight and tall, identical postures and looks. There was a bit more space between Cord and the rest of the group, but not so much as to make him seem reclusive.
Even as they moved away, Ben could see the fondness among the brothers, and he realized they’d seemed closer since the big family revelation. It had been the same with Dani the past couple of days. The Wilde family seemed to be healing. At least the siblings did.
“You,” Gabe said tiredly, “and my sister.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“You disappear with her every night, Denton. I have eyes.”
Ben let a smile slip free.
“And that right there,” Gabe added, sitting up and pointing with his bottle of beer. “Both of you. Smiling all the damned time.”
“Hey, just because you got nothing to smile about doesn’t mean we don’t.”
Gabe shut his mouth, silently acknowledging Ben’s point, then finished off his beer. “She’s leaving,” Gabe reminded him. “Plane ticket is printed and stuck to the fridge. What are you doing messing with her?”
“I’m not messing with her. I swear. I like her, that’s all. We’re friends. It’s always been easy between us. So yeah, I’m spending time with her, but like I promised you before, I won’t give her a reason to stay. And I won’t hurt her.”
He didn’t know if either of those things was completely true, but he did know that he’d cut off his own leg before asking her not to leave Montana. She deserved this. She had to go.
“Do either, and I’ll have to hurt you.”
Ben choked on his beer. “Like you hurt me sophomore year when I took out Heidi Mason.”
A roar of laughter came from Gabe. The two of them had chased Heidi Mason all over campus before Ben had gotten her to say yes. Then he’d quickly discovered the error of his ways. She hadn’t been . . . exactly . . . stable.
“You saved me on that one,” Gabe acknowledged.
“You still thought you were going to kick my ass.”
“And I still blame the beer. If I’d been sober . . .”
“Right.” Ben grabbed two more beers and passed one to Gabe. “If you’d been sober, you would have simply been more embarrassed than you were.”
“We were out of control back then,” Gabe mused.
“In a good way. But only until you met whatshername that you dated for so long.”
“Erica Alexandra Yarbrough.” The softening in Gabe’s tone showed his fondness for his former love. They’d dated for two years during college. “She’s an elementary-school teacher now, not far from here. Ran into her at the bulk goods store one day. Teaches first grade.”
“That so?” Ben eyed his friend, thinking about how fast he’d dumped Erica after he’d met Michelle. The man had been knocked on his ass by the big-city girl with big-city attitude. And now it was coming back to bite him in the ass. “You’re really moving, then?”
Gabe cut his gaze over to Ben’s. “To LA? Yeah. Before the school year starts.”
“Sure that’s what you want to do? There are other options.” He gauged Gabe’s reaction before continuing. The question didn’t seem to offend, so he added, “I have money if you ever need it for a lawyer.”
“I couldn’t take your money.”
“You also can’t let your wife take your kid.”
Gabe lowered his gaze, and Ben watched his chest rise and fall with a deep breath. They hadn’t talked like this before, and Ben might be overstepping his bounds, but he also knew Gabe had to have floated the idea of divorce through his mind.
As a father now himself, Ben equally knew that scenario would bring with it concern for Jenna. Ben could no longer imagine his own life without Haley in it. He’d destroy anyone who tried to change that. And he suspected Gabe would do the same concerning his daughter.
But the thing was, twenty-first century or not, the courts often still favored the mother. High-priced lawyers helped with that.
“All I’m saying is,” Ben added, “I have plenty. All you have to do is say the word.”
Gabe nodded, his expression grave. “I appreciate that. I do. And yes, thank you, if the situation arises, I could make that call. As a loan. That’s a weight off my shoulders, actually. But things have been better since I agreed to move. I’m encouraged. I doubt the move will solve all our problems, but I would prefer Jenna have two parents if she could. So I’ll fight for this. And I’ll move to LA as part of that fight.”
“You’re a good man,” Ben said. If Michelle could get over herself and be a real mother, that would be best for Jenna. “Big change, though. LA is not Birch Bay.”
“Tell me about it. And there’s a lot to do before any of it can happen.”
“Here.” Ben reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out the keys for his apartment. He tossed the key chain at Gabe. “This’ll take care of one of those things.”
Gabe sat up. “What’s this?”
“Keys to my place.”
“Come on, I can’t take this.” He held the key chain out, but Ben refused it.
“I won’t be using it,” Ben said. “Stay as long as you want. It’s a great place. Might even make your wife happy.”
Gabe snorted under this breath.
“Seriously,” Ben continued. “You might find that you hate the city. No use signing a lease until you know. Use it. Give yourself a chance to explore, figure out what area works best for you. And if you love it, then stay. Only caveat is, Haley and I get a bedroom if we come for a visit.”
Gabe stared at the keys dangling from his fingers, then nodded. “Thanks.” He shoved them in his jeans. “What’re you going to do?”
Dani’s car came up the drive then, and Ben straightened from his reclined position. “I’m going to stay here. I’m house hunting.”
“That so? In Birch Bay?”
Ben watched as Dani exited her vehicle and looked in their direction, and his pulse reminded him that he was playing with fire. “Yep, here. I’ve talked to a couple of real estate agents, and have a few appointments set up for this weekend.”
Gabe whistled under his breath. “Moving fast.”
Dani climbed the steps to the deck and spoke with Michelle. “Nothing wrong with fast when you know what you want,” Ben said. He glanced at Gabe. “And Haley needs stability.”
“It’ll help,” Gabe agreed. He shot a look at Dani,
and as he pulled out his cell and punched in a text, he added, “You’re doing good with Haley. I can tell she means the world to you.”
“That she does,” Ben confirmed. Dani headed their way. “I’m a fortunate man.”
About the time Dani reached the two of them, just when Ben was getting to his feet, her gaze locked on something in the distance and he was forgotten.
“Nate!” she shouted before taking off at a sprint toward her brother.
Nate had come up from the beach—likely whom Gabe had texted—and wore a smile as broad as Dani’s. He scooped his sister up and twirled her around in a circle.
Gabe rose to stand beside Ben and the two of them watched the happy reunion together.
“Ouch,” Gabe taunted. “And here you thought all she had eyes for was you.”
“Shut the fuck up.”
Gabe continued to smirk, while Ben admitted the truth to himself.
He may not break Dani’s heart, but she sure as hell was going to break his.
Low voices came from Ben’s room the following night as Dani neared the open door. It sounded like he was talking on the phone, but his tone was off. Not wanting to eavesdrop, and telling herself not to be nosy, she averted her gaze as she headed for the stairs.
She still caught a glimpse inside the room. And it wasn’t a phone call at all.
Ben sat, legs crossed, in the middle of the floor—in the room where as recently as last week Dani had stripped off her clothes and begged the man to make love to her—and he was playing Barbies with his daughter. Neither noticed her, so she inched closer to the door.
It was cute. Ben marched Ken around on the throw rug, explaining to Barbie how pretty she looked and how he was such a lucky man to get to take her out to the movies. Mike, who’d become Haley’s companion as much as Jenna’s, was stretched out beside them while Haley patted him on the head.
“Will you take me to the movies someday, Daddy?” Haley’s mouth curved at the corners, the tilt the exact angle as the one on her daddy’s mouth, and she glowed up at him.
