He moaned and moved his hands so fast, from her flaming cheeks down to her butt, cupping her ass and crushing her belly against the large bulge that showed he was very much into her.
Tingles zinged through her, and heat blossomed throughout her body. Her heartbeat rushed and tripped over her pulse. The sharp pops of the nearby gunshots pounded through her, jerking her away from her momentary insanity.
“I can’t.” Her voice squeaked, and she gaped up at the cop’s feral eyes. “It’s too soon.”
“It’s not soon enough.” He clasped the empty gun into her hands, pressing tightly. “You’re going to be a great shot. I know it.”
“Don’t mention it.” She smiled, holding the gun between them. She was glad he changed the subject so smoothly, avoiding embarrassment for what just happened. She’d ruined the moment, but hopefully, she hadn’t ruined the future. “I’m counting on you to show me how.”
Chapter Twelve
Sometimes, having a cop as a stalker had its benefits.
After the gun range, Jason naturally assumed he and Avery would go for a run through Central Park, and she didn’t dissuade him. She wasn’t sure how to process the kiss, and as long as he was around, she didn’t have to think about it.
She pulled her hair behind a sweatband and did her set of stretches along the side of her building. It was hot, so she wore shorts and a tank top, and she’d slathered sunscreen over her skin until it glistened.
Jason pretended to stretch. She could tell by the way he hardly held each position.
“You’re jerking your muscles and tightening them instead,” she criticized.
“Hey, just warming up.” He pumped his arms and jumped in place on the tips of his toes.
“This is running, not boxing. Why can’t you relax? You’re supposed to hold a position and count to ten.”
Instead of listening, he bent down and touched his toes ten times, bouncing up and down.
Since his back was turned, she gave him a push on the way down, touching his tight ass.
He stumbled but was agile enough to avoid face-planting. A roar of laughter emanated from the street toughs hanging out near the fire hydrant.
“Enough stretching.” He grabbed Avery by the arm and hustled her across the street to the park.
“Who made you so bossy?” She shrugged her arm aside and took off in a sprint down the asphalt-covered path lined with slate boulders, shade trees, ivy, and ferns.
He caught her easily. “What makes you so critical?”
Ugh. At least he wasn’t coming on to her. She didn’t know why she kissed him. Well, actually, she did, but it wasn’t pretty. She’d let her control slip, and he’d pressed forward so effectively. Then again, he was always in a ready, set, go position, on his toes.
At least his interest in her was clear. He was using the dead investigation as a way to get under her skin. She wasn’t going to consider whether it worked or not. Not with him chasing after her.
She pumped her arms harder and ran toward an ivy-covered tunnel. The sudden darkness made her blink, but the stench of urine and other dark matter had her trying not to gasp.
“Hey, don’t go down there,” Jason’s voice boomed behind her.
Since she was already halfway through the tunnel, she powered forward to the other end. Her thighs screamed, and her lungs ached. She didn’t want to, but she hunched over, propping her hands on her knees to catch her breath.
The sudden intake of air made her choke on her spit, and she doubled over in a fit of coughing.
Jason put his arm over her shoulders and drew her to the side of the path along the wall separating the city block from the greenery of the park.
“What are you running away from?” he asked as if he didn’t know.
Avery took her time coughing, super aware of his hand rubbing her back. At least he wasn’t slapping her or giving her the Heimlich—another excuse to put his arms around her.
When she was able to speak again, she shrugged him off and said, “I hope I’ve been clear with you. I’m not ready for another relationship.”
“Don’t worry, that’s not what I’m offering.” His words cut like a knife across her already clenching heart.
What had made her sound so needy? As if she wanted another man to take care of her? Not that he was offering more than pure physical exhilaration.
She gritted her teeth and turned her face sharply at him. “I’m not interested in sleaze.”
“Neither am I.” He let go of her and pointed with his chin down the rest of the trail. “Let’s keep moving.”
“No.” She dug in her heels and coughed. “You never want to talk. I want to make sure you understand where I’m coming from.”
He lifted an eyebrow, but other than that, he reminded her of a cat crouched in front of a mousehole.
She walked several steps and turned around, but he remained where he was, not chasing after her, so she lunged back to him and shook her fists.
“You’re trying to drive me nuts,” she said when it was obvious he was giving her the silent treatment. “What do you want? Why are you hanging around?”
“You like me hanging around.” His arrogance knew no bounds, and he added, “I’ll protect you, Avery. I promise.”
“Except I’m not in any danger. It’s been a year, and if anyone was out to get me, they would have done something already. Maybe it was random, and it’s you who’s trying to scare me. You can’t let go of this, and you’re driving me nuts thinking I’m the target.”
“You’re right. I can’t let it go.” His brows lowered over those hawkish eyes. “I can’t let you go.”
“You’re starting to sound as freaky as a regular stalker.” She resumed her jog, hoping she didn’t sound nervous. “Should I be afraid of you?”
“You wanted to talk. Talk.” He kept pace with her effortlessly.
“About what?”
“Anything. Just talk.”
As if anything was “just talking” with him. He was a police investigator. Anything she said could and would be used against her in a court of law. What was he really after? Her body or her heart? Or was this all a cat and mouse game with him?
Not answering him, she took the path toward the lake. The day was bright, and the sun was hot on her face. A woman pushed a stroller, and the little boy inside chewed on the ribbon holding a red balloon. A man wearing a gray hoodie and sweats ran by with a large German shepherd.
No one on mountain bikes buzzed by them, and after a mile bordering the lake, Avery slowed to a walk and took a large swallow from her water bottle.
Like Jason, she was completely comfortable with silence, but since she had an opportunity, she might as well try and understand this man who felt it his duty to play guard dog with her. She would open up to him enough to get him to open up to her. Right? Two-way street.
The man was edgy and elbowing his way into her life. He wasn’t going to leave her alone, and frankly, she didn’t want to be alone.
Joan’s comments had hit home.
Would Brando want her to be an almost-widow for the next fifty years?
It didn’t mean Jason would be the one—he didn’t want to be, and she wasn’t ready, but he was paying attention.
A gentle breeze blew over the lake, and the reeds close to shore swayed like mourners at a candlelight vigil. The water sparkled, and in the distance, the city skyscrapers rose above the tree line.
She felt like holding his hand, and since he’d offered his presence, she took it without asking. She cleared her throat several times before letting the words percolate from her heart.
“I don’t know myself anymore. It’s almost been a year, and I thought by now, I’d be on firmer ground.”
They walked hand in hand several steps, and she didn’t expect him to reply. No interruptions to draw attention to himself or platitudes or fake encouragements. Somehow, she liked that about him.
It allowed her to spread her wings.
“I grew up
in a large family. You probably know all this already. Four brothers who love me, and one younger sister who hates me.”
The only indication he heard was a tightening of his grip. She bet he wanted to know why Harper hated her, but she didn’t even know herself. She could guess or make up stories, but Jason wanted to know about her and not her family.
“So, you see? I’m not perfect. Someone hates me, but don’t you be getting any ideas my sister’s behind all of this.”
“What is she like?” he asked, and she detected a glint of interest in his tone.
“Younger and prettier. She’s out west going to college, and unlike other sisters, we’re not close.”
“Did she like Brando?” The question mark was definitely back on his face.
She sighed and shook her head, waving off his question. “I can’t read her mind, but as far as I could tell, there wasn’t any interest. I told you, she doesn’t care about me either way.”
“Was it because your parents favored you?”
Oh, he was good with the questions. Making assumptions so she could either confirm or refute.
“My parents love each of us in the way we need, so it’s different.”
“How was it with you?”
She shook a finger at him. “Can you stop asking questions? I liked you better when you didn’t talk.”
He dragged her off the path and over to the water’s edge. Several ducks rested with their bills tucked under their feathers on a fallen log, and lazy dragonflies meandered among the reeds. The heat relaxed her and loosened the tightness in her chest. She pointed to the skyline. “It’s hard to believe we’re in the middle of a huge city, and I’m feeling sleepy like them.”
He leaned toward her and rested his chin on her head, drawing her closer. His body seemed to conform to hers the same way hers did to his, so that they leaned against each other, as if he needed her as much as she needed him.
She almost drew away, but she let him rest and absorbed his breathing.
“You’re not like Brando, you know. He used to be a fortress, standing strong and firm, and here you are, slouching against me.”
He lifted his chin and chuckled under his breath. “Sorry if I disappoint you.”
“Not disappointed. Just different. Brando was your typical hero. I don’t think he ever got sick. He was always ready to give aid. I used to worry that I’d lose him on our honeymoon. He’d be the one jumping off the cruise ship to rescue someone or carrying someone off the side of a mountain.”
“He was one of the best,” Jason acknowledged.
“He was too perfect,” she whispered. Closing her eyes, she tried to hold back the lurking tears.
“Is it possible to be too perfect?” he asked, his arms around her fully.
“He was too good for me.”
He kissed the top of her head and stroked the back of her neck. “That’s a problem I’ll never have.”
Avery burrowed her face against Jason’s chest and burst into tears—big, loud, ugly, gulping tears.
It was a problem she, too, would never have again.
Protecting a pretty woman like Avery didn’t come with any benefits. Being the one she spilled her broken heart to while weeping for another man was like having his heart crushed by a steamroller.
Sure, Jason had no right to complain. He’d asked her to talk and had encouraged her to open herself to him. But now that she’d opened the floodgates, which always went back to her fireman, it was all he could do to hold her and be the slouchy support structure she claimed would never measure up to her hero.
“I’m fine. I really am,” she said. “You’d think I’d stop being so maudlin.”
“It’s okay to be however you are. Don’t judge yourself.” He rocked her gently. “Take as much time as you need.”
“I can’t. I have so much to do.” She choked back a sob.
“Have you ever thought of taking a break?”
“No, no, no.” She shook her head like she was having a seizure. “I owe my life to him, and the least I could do is honor him with my clothing line. To keep his name alive.”
“His name will always be alive in your heart,” he said, knowing how trite and inane it sounded. Maybe he should stay quiet.
“I have nothing. Nothing.” She pounded her chest and turned back toward the running trail. “I wasn’t even pregnant.”
“Were you trying?” He guided her through the temporary darkness underneath the low-hanging branches.
“No. I was too good of a girl. Wanted to do everything right. Perfect.” She shuddered in his arms. “I put my career first. Wanted to build my business. Then get married, move up to Westchester County, have two or three children, join the PTA, be a soccer mom and a fire chief’s wife. Hold potlucks and sell Girl Scout cookies. The white picket fence, summer barbecues, and Thanksgiving gatherings large enough for two turkeys.”
What could he say? He’d never wanted any of these worn out family themes. Not with a jerk of a father and a drunk and disheveled mother. Actually, he was surprised a young, upcoming fashion designer aspired to such a mundane suburban life.
“You were meant for more exciting times.”
“If you mean the soul-rending grief, then yeah, excitement.” She swiped angrily at her eyes. “Stop being so sympathetic. I’m pulling myself together. Enough of the pity party.”
He helped her straighten her shoulders, massaging them and pulling them back. “You ready to go? I’ll race you.”
“You’re on.” She sniffled but managed a smile.
He let her get a head start and loped along at her heels, allowing her to run off the grief and the pain.
“Want to stop by The Big Bean and check on Saul?” he asked once they were outside of the park boundary.
“Thanks for reminding me.” She removed her sweatband and finger fluffed her hair. “You coming with me?”
“Only if you treat.” He winked. “You owe me for the shoulder you cried on.”
“You are so not a hero.” She slapped him with the sweatband and unzipped the one on her wrist, extracting her credit card. “Okay, my treat.”
“You are always my treat.” He reached for her, lips pursed to land a kiss on her, but she ducked underneath his arm.
Giggling, she powerwalked toward the coffee shop without looking back.
What choice did he have but to follow like a lost and pathetic puppy? He was so not perfect for her. But being wrong was never the right reason for giving up.
Chapter Thirteen
Avery wasn’t sure what hit her on the sidewalk outside of The Big Bean. One minute, she was walking away from Jason, smiling at the thought of him ogling her from behind, and the next, she was bent backwards with a big, firm mouth pressed over hers.
How was this possible?
She clamped her teeth against the onslaught of the sloppy, wet kiss. An abbreviated sneeze expelled the chemical odor of strong cologne, as shouts and shoving and pushing threw her against a wall of muscle.
“You’re under arrest.” Jason’s voice barked over the hoots and hollers of the bystanders.
“You have no authority to arrest me,” Avery’s kisser protested.
“I’m a cop, and you have the right to remain silent,” Jason shouted, while struggling with the larger man.
Avery swept her hair from her face and stared in horror at Matt and Jason wrestling on the sidewalk.
She was about to intervene when Alida stabbed a finger at her. “Why aren’t you dressed up? You’re a mess. Did you know you’re late?”
“I forgot.” The realization dawned on Avery that she was supposed to meet Matt at The Big Bean for a publicity stunt.
She elbowed her way past Alida and jumped on Jason’s back. “You can’t arrest him. He’s my date.”
“What do you mean date?” Jason’s head jerked her direction. At the same time, Matt landed a punch on Jason’s jaw.
“Matt, stop it,” Alida screamed. “You’re ruining the date scene I set
up for you.”
No doubt, the gathered film crew kept the tape rolling, not wanting to miss a single punch. In addition, every cell phone camera was pointed at them, with exclamations of, “Check this out. It’s Matt Swanson.”
“I’m sorry,” Matt straightened his casual blue chambray shirt which had a ripped pocket. “Avery, you okay?”
Avery turned her back on the football star. She dabbed at Jason’s swelling eye “Oh, Jason, it looks like he nailed your eye.”
“He assaulted you.” Jason’s good eye darted all over Avery, examining her. “Are you okay?”
“Other than biting my lip, I think I’ll survive.” She mustered a smile. “You better get ice on that eye.”
“Now that I know you’re okay, I’m arresting this stalker.” Jason whipped out his badge from the jacket that covered his holstered gun. “Put your hands up against the wall.”
“Look, Officer, I didn’t know you’re a cop,” Matt said. “You attacked me. What was I supposed to do?”
“Jason, let him go,” Avery said. “It’s Matt Swanson. He was supposed to meet up with me for coffee. How’s it going to look with you arresting him when Alida set this up?”
“She set him up to sexually assault you?”
“No, but look at all the cameras pointed at us,” she whispered. “If you let it go, I’ll make it up to you.”
“I’ll hold you to it.” Jason gave her a curt nod and turned to Matt. “I could book you from here to Sunday. Assaulting a police officer. Resisting arrest. You’d better be on your best behavior with my lady.”
“Your lady?” Matt growled, but Jason paid him no attention and walked away.
Avery was proud of him for defusing the confrontation. He wasn’t as out of control as he portrayed, or maybe he realized the high stakes this publicity stunt had for her business. She’d make sure to thank him later.
Triggered by Love Page 10
