by Katie Ginger
‘Do you think John should say a few words before the film starts?’ asked Hetty.
Ben scowled. ‘Why should he?’
‘Well, it’s his land and he’s helped organise everything.’
‘Not as much as you.’
‘No but—’ Hetty’s head began to turn – she just had to see what he was doing now and if he still looked so sad – but then she noticed Ben was watching her. ‘He has helped. I just kind of feel he should. It would do wonders for how his family are thought of in the bay.’
‘Who cares? They’ll never like him.’
‘Why do you say that?’ Hetty sat up straighter, tension pulling up her spine.
‘He’s too stand-offish. A bit stuffy. And why should he get all the credit? He hasn’t really done anything, has he?’ Ben tipped his plastic champagne flute back and drank half the glass in one go. Hetty saw his eyes dart to John and the wink he gave him, pretending to be friendly. ‘Look he’s chatting up his secretary now.’
‘She’s his assistant,’ Hetty said crossly. ‘And there isn’t anything between them.’
‘Not what I’ve heard. Anyway, you’ve done all the organising and problem solving. He’s just strolled about as lord of the manor. Why give him any of the credit?’
Because he’s a nice man and his family has had a horrible time? she wanted to say but bit the words back. Ben wouldn’t understand, but Hetty knew in her gut it was the right thing to do. ‘I’m going to ask him if wants to say something.’
‘Hetty, wait—’ Ignoring Ben’s protests, she upped and went over to John.
‘Hi, John.’
John was also drinking fizz and was in the middle of pouring a glass for Jaz. There was a hopeful light in his eyes as she approached, and it made her stomach fizz. ‘Hetty, hi. Everything okay?’
If Jaz was ever going to turn into a murderer, now was it, judging by the look she received. ‘I’m sorry to interrupt. I know the film’s just about to start but I wondered if you wanted to say a few words? I can get them to hold off for a minute if you do.’
‘Oh, right.’ He ran a hand down his beard, a gesture that was becoming more and more familiar to Hetty. He did it when he was thinking or when he was embarrassed, and she liked it, wishing she knew how the short soft hairs would feel beneath her fingertips.
‘I just thought it might be nice to welcome everyone on behalf of your family or wish everyone a good night, that sort of thing. Nothing too big. Just, thank them for coming out and making the festival so successful.’
‘Shouldn’t you be doing that? You’ve done all the hard work.’
His words showed Hetty how much Ben had misjudged him. ‘I know I could, but I just thought it might help the town get to know you a bit better. If you do have open days in the future, it’ll make them more likely to attend and maybe make it easier for your mum to go into town again.’
At the mention of Lucinda, Jaz pinned Hetty in angry eyes, clearly unhappy that he’d spoken to her about his mum.
John slowly nodded. ‘Okay, good idea. Shall I do it now?’ Hetty nodded and went to ask the technician to hold off, then stood at the back of the crowd. Ben was still trying to coax her back to their picnic spot, but she shook her head. She’d go over in a minute, when this was done, then he’d have her full attention.
When John stood in front of the giant screen, he seemed small and Hetty felt nervous for him. In front of him, smiling faces stared back. A few kids were running about between the groups armed with candyfloss and sweets, but when John cleared his throat, the parents called them back and they sat down.
‘Good evening, everyone. My name’s John Thornhill—’
‘Get on with it,’ shouted a boisterous middle-aged man who’d clearly had too much of the local ale. His wife hit him with a baguette, and he quietened down as those around him guffawed.
‘Don’t worry, sir, I promise I won’t take long.’ John seemed confident, but Hetty spotted a slight redness coming from the top of his shirt. ‘Before we begin the film, I just wanted to thank you all for coming out to the Thornhill estate. Not just for this’– he pointed to the screen behind him – ‘but for the whole festival. It’s been a huge success so far and it’s got nothing to do with me, as much as I would like to take the credit. It’s all down to the remarkable Hetty Colman.’
He gestured to her at the back of the picnic area and everyone turned around. As she gave a little wave, Hetty was now the one feeling a burning in her chest that crept up her neck and onto her cheeks. When John began clapping, everyone soon joined in.
‘Anyway,’ he continued. ‘I hope you’ve enjoyed the food festival and will enjoy the film too. With any luck we’ll see you again next year.’
From across the sea of heads John smiled at Hetty. He hadn’t said anything to her about next year. In fact, he’d teased her when she’d mentioned it that time in the fields, but she smiled back. Among the applause he walked back to his spot next to Jaz, who gazed at him adoringly. And though Hetty wanted to go and speak to him, to sit with him, eat with him, she knew she had to go back to Ben. Approaching Ben, Hetty was surprised to see his expression was as near to angry as she’d ever seen.
‘That’s got him some brownie points,’ he said, his voice icy as he layered a sundried tomato on some bread and popped it into his mouth. He hadn’t stopped eating while she was away. Lucky then, that he’d brought too much food. ‘I’m sure the town will fall in love with him now.’
The word love made her stomach tighten into a giant knot. It was almost like Ben was jealous of John which was so unusual that Hetty didn’t really know what to say or do. She had run off to speak to him when Ben had been looking forward to seeing her this evening and confusion once more raced through her, dulling her mind.
‘Is that Macie with the chocolate guy?’ Ben asked in between mouthfuls. Hetty looked over to see James handing her a chocolate. ‘She’d better eat as much as she can before they split up.’
‘Stop teasing everyone for a second, Ben. Please.’
‘Why?’ Without him realising it, Ben’s voice was growing louder. She couldn’t remember him being like this when they were together. He’d always said what he thought but Hetty was sure he’d never been so cruel and insensitive. Now though, he seemed gossipy and rude, and Hetty really didn’t like it. She could only hope that any minute now he’d realise he was crossing the line from teasing to hurtful. ‘Shhh, please, Ben. The film’s about to start.’
‘Okay,’ he said, leaning back and relaxing. He must have just been hungry. He used to get hangry when they went shopping together if she didn’t keep his sugar levels up, and with his stall being so busy all day he must be exhausted. Ben handed her a drink just as the theme song started.
They settled down to watch the film, and Hetty was aware of Ben glancing at her from time to time. About halfway through he leaned in. ‘This is nice. I’ve missed you, Hetty.’
So often since they’d split up Hetty had longed for him too. ‘I’ve missed you too.’
‘You know, it was my fault we broke up.’ Hetty raised her eyebrows and stared over the rim of her glass. ‘It was. All my fault.’ His cheeky grin made her heart murmur. ‘I let you down. I knew you needed more from me—’
‘I didn’t need more from you, Ben. I wanted more from you. There’s a difference.’
He held up his hand in apology. ‘You’re right. You wanted more from me and I wasn’t ready to give it. But I am now.’ He let the words hang in the air as he took a ring box from the hessian bag and climbed onto one knee. Ceremoniously, he opened the box to reveal a bright shiny diamond on a silver band.
Hetty froze to the spot, embarrassed by the murmurs of those nearby, as Ben proffered it to her, holding it in the air as if it were the only beacon of light in a dark and stormy night. Before she could think or speak, he launched himself forward, hooking his hand behind her head, attempting to kiss her passionately. Hetty jerked herself backwards. Confusion filled her brain as she tried to
figure out how she felt about this moment, but as she did, her heart briskly informed her it was John she wanted to kiss, not Ben. He pulled away, shocked by her reaction, but rather than burning with passion, Hetty felt cold through to her core.
‘Are you proposing to me?’ she mumbled, forcing the words out even though her mouth wanted to do nothing more than hang open.
‘I am. I know what you’re like and that you’d want me to wait, but I just couldn’t hold on until this whole festival thing was over.’ Ben’s expression became suddenly vulnerable. ‘Is it a yes?’
Hetty stared between the box and Ben. That tiny box signified not just a proposal but a commitment to spending the rest of their lives together – something she’d wanted for so long, and he’d been unwilling to give. But panic was rising in her chest. I don’t know, she thought. I just don’t know.
Chapter 25
John pretended he hadn’t seen Ben getting down on one knee, but there was no way he could pretend his heart wasn’t aching. Hetty had a boyfriend or now a fiancé. He should have known better than to try to act on his feelings. He’d brought the picnic for her, hoping they could chat and get to know each other better. He had a feeling he’d only scratched the surface and that there was so much more to learn. But now he was having to sit and watch her with someone else. A sure sign it wasn’t meant to be, if ever there was one. He didn’t need anything else to tell him that for now he should stick to trying to help his family and put his personal life to one side. He’d always done that; first for his business and now for his family. This time would be no different, but even as he thought it, he didn’t believe it. The hole in his heart was too big.
When Jaz had turned up and saved him from standing in the middle of a field, holding a picnic basket, looking like an absolute plank, he’d been relieved. They’d sat down together, and he’d seen Ben wink at him. John had turned in disgust and ignored him. If Ben was insinuating there was something going on between him and his assistant, then he had the mind of a Tom cat. John only ever thought of Jaz as his employee, or sometimes like a younger sister.
Keeping his eyes away and doing anything possible to distract himself from the fact that Ben was with Hetty, he said, ‘So, Jaz, how old are you again?’
‘Twenty-six,’ she replied nervously, like it was a trick question.
He popped a sandwich in his mouth. He’d made it himself, even going so far as cutting the crusts off. It didn’t look a patch on Ben’s Mediterranean feast. Perhaps, in hindsight, he’d been saved another humiliation. ‘And what’s on the cards for you? You must have plans beyond working for me?’ Jaz stopped chewing. ‘It’s okay, you can tell me, I don’t mind.’
‘Well …’ She spoke slowly at first but as she began to relax, she was more like the Jaz he knew. ‘I’d really love to learn more about the actual antiques. I have a history degree and obviously I know the admin side, but I’d love to do something like you do one day.’
‘Really?’ She nodded and John smiled approvingly. ‘Let’s see what we can do about that then, shall we?’
‘Do you mean it?’
‘Of course.’
‘I don’t know what to say, John.’ She sipped her drink. ‘You’re so kind and supportive.’
‘Oh, no I’m not.’ He laughed. ‘We both know I’m grumpy and moody, but let’s have a toast anyway.’ He topped up her champagne and she giggled. She’d drunk almost half of hers already from nerves. He was impressed with the depth of her ambition but pleased too. ‘I’ll do everything I can to help you.’ He wasn’t sure his business would provide those opportunities, but he’d do what he could and if she decided to move on, he’d be happy for her.
Conversation died as they watched more of the film and dusk fell upon them. John spent most of the time trying surreptitiously to see what Hetty and Ben were doing but apart from that one kiss he hadn’t seen any more. As the evening grew chillier, and the myriad of smells died when the food vendors packed up for the night, he watched the stars appear in the sky. Jaz shivered in her thin vest top and John handed her his jacket. She wrapped it around her shoulders and stretched out her legs. Her foot kept knocking against his shin and instead of moving away she edged a little closer, so her arm was now resting against his.
When John went to top up his drink, he realised with a sinking feeling the second bottle of champagne was almost gone and surprisingly, Jaz had drunk most of it, along with most of the first. Jaz was very smiley and her eyes glazed. When her glass fell as she put it down, he knew she was drunk.
She needed to sober up, but what could he do to help? He’d been so determined Jaz would have a good time and see the side of him that so rarely came out these days and now things were unbearably awkward. He checked the picnic basket to see what was left; maybe some food would sober her up. Digging around, all he could find were strawberries and cream. Internally, he groaned. Why couldn’t there be a pie or something filling that would soak up some of the booze instead of a flimsy pudding.
Jaz was still smiling at him. ‘What’s left?’ she asked, peeking inside the basket.
‘Oh, not much.’ He tried to close the lid, hoping to grab something more substantial from one of the remaining food vendors but it was too late.
‘Oooh, strawberries and cream. How romantic.’ She gave John a look that filled him with fear, knowing he was getting backed into a corner of his own making. He clung tightly to the faint, unrealistic hope that Jaz was just having fun, but there was a look in her eye and a tension in his chest that told him otherwise. How had he not noticed her getting a bit too close over the last month? The strange glances, odd tensions between them, and her picking bits of rubble from his beard when he came through the landing ceiling should have been warning enough. And now she was using words like romantic. John’s pulse began to race and a sweatiness crept over him as she tried to feed him a strawberry. He gave an uncomfortable laugh as the terrifying fruit came towards him and turned his head. It hit his cheek, smearing cream into his beard and he wiped it with his hand. Stifled sniggers grew around him and he looked up to see Hetty watching, though she flicked her eyes away as soon as his met hers. He gently pushed Jaz’s hand away, urging her to eat it, which she did, enjoying it like a bad actress in a TV ad.
As the film drew to a close, John relaxed a little and tipped his head back. It was over and he could now get Jaz home, but he’d have to wait until everyone had left. It was a beautiful night. A clear, starlit sky and a large bright moon covered the fields in a pale white shimmer. Looking over at Jaz, he didn’t trust that she’d be able to walk without staggering here and there, and he wouldn’t let her be the subject of gossip or ridicule. She meant too much to him for that.
Hetty walked past him as he drew his head back up. He’d hoped to say goodnight but when she and Ben drew level, Ben took her hand and pulled her close. John watched them go with a heavy heart. But a spark of hope caused his heart to pump hard when Hetty glanced back. That had to mean something, didn’t it?
The crowd departed but John had seen the knowing looks and snide smirks from some of the townsfolk. How many had been aware of what was happening with Jaz? He didn’t know, but there was no chance of escaping it now: the Thornhills had embarrassed themselves again.
When at last everyone had gone, John climbed to his feet and held out his hands for Jaz. She took them, and he pulled her upright, grabbing her around her waist as she swayed dangerously backwards. He smiled to let her know he wasn’t cross but with terror rising within, she pressed herself against him and planted a kiss on his lips. His mind whirred in panic and his stomach dropped to the floor as he gently pushed her away by the shoulder.
Jaz’s eyes, wide and hurt at his rejection, teared immediately. ‘Oh my God, I’m so sorry, John. I’m sorry. I just thought – I don’t know what came over me.’
‘It’s fine, Jaz. It’s fine, let’s just forget about it, okay.’ He had hold of her shoulders but worried if he let her go, she’d fall.
Hea
ring footsteps, John panicked and glanced over his shoulder. His jaw clenched as he saw it was Hetty. She’d stopped mid-stride and was watching him with Jaz. Had she seen her kiss him? Without speaking she went back to where she and Ben had been sitting and picked something shiny off the ground – a set of keys – then headed back to the car park. She must have seen everything. John watched her go with an aching heart and this time she didn’t look back.
‘Is it me?’ Jaz whispered. ‘Is it because I’m younger than you, because I don’t care, John, I really don’t. I—’
‘Jaz, stop. It’s not – I don’t—’ Damn it! How did he say this without sounding like a patronising idiot? This was all his fault because he relied on her so much. Because he didn’t have a life outside of his family and his work. He’d let this situation happen by making Jaz such a large part of his existence. He’d clearly given her the wrong impression of their relationship. ‘Listen, I just don’t think about you like that. You’re great – really great – smart, funny, pretty, but you’re more like my sis—’
And with that, Jaz crumpled down and was sick on his shoes. John immediately gathered her long hair into a ponytail and kept it out of her face. Never before had he been more grateful to be in an empty field. In the distance he saw the beam of light from the security guard’s torch and knew he had to get Jaz out of here before more gossip about his family resounded through the town. Hetty, no matter what she thought, would be discreet. Scooping Jaz’s hair into one hand, John pulled his phone from his back pocket and called a local cab firm.
‘I’m sorry mate, all my cabs are booked for this film night thing, but if you’re there you could see if someone will share.’
‘No, that’s fine, thanks for your help though.’
