by Kylie Walker
Chloe had yet to tell Emelia that she’d slept with Roman in his dressing room last night—pressed up against the wall. Naked, sweaty and straddling him. She shivered with pleasure at the memory, closing her eyes to soak up the daydream and enhance it, wishing it had lasted forever.
The best part was the fact that it wasn’t just one of her stirred up, wildly concocted fantasies. Roman was real. He had really fucked her, and she had loved the hell out of every second of it, soaking it up to every last delicious drop. She wanted to do it again, over and over.
She missed him when he wasn’t with her, which both made her heart flip and her stomach drop at the same time. Roman was charming and charismatic, but she couldn’t help but wonder if his behavior was superficial, something that he enacted with all of his relationships. Or was there something deeper and more profound than the bad boy jokester that she saw on the surface, the one who wanted to shield his emotions and raw feelings?
These were questions that Chloe had to ask herself, especially since things were ramping up and becoming heatedly sexual with her and Roman. For the same conflicting reasons that inhibited her from relinquishing control the last time in Hawaii, Chloe didn’t want to become just another score on his trophy wall. If she was going to give everything she had to this relationship, she wanted to be exclusively sure that it would count for something and have a happy ending for her. She didn’t believe that was too much to ask for. Her happiness was priceless.
She punched some numbers into the spreadsheet on her screen, working alongside Emelia. Roman was off for the day doing media promotions with the rest of the band. She missed him, and a part of her heart panged in anticipation of being reunited with him later.
Emelia gave Chloe a scrutinizing glance from behind her red-rimmed glasses. “You’re awfully quiet this afternoon,” she mentioned with a light smile that let Chloe know that she wasn’t going to press her.
“Oh,” Chloe sighed and leaned back in her chair, rubbing her eyes. She stretched and yawned, feeling stiff for sitting down and working diligently for so many hours in a row without a substantial break. “Sorry, just...focused on the work I guess.”
Emelia beamed. “Keep up the good work.”
Chloe’s heart flipped at the praise. “Really?”
Emelia looked surprised that Chloe would doubt herself. “Yes!” She exclaimed. “Seriously. I don’t know what I would do without you. I would be totally drowning right now.”
“Thanks.” Chloe blushed. “It means a lot that you appreciate my work.”
There was a pause while Chloe noticed Emelia was still staring at her, apparently trying to spectate her emotions as an outsider looking in.
“I know this is hard for you...” she trailed off.
“What do you mean?” Chloe frowned, feeling her ears grow hot. Did she want to discuss her relationship with Roman? Chloe didn’t want to go down that road right now, especially since she didn’t have any answers about the path they were going down either.
Emelia took off her glasses and delicately placed them beside her laptop. “Like, with your father and everything...” she trailed off again as if she was afraid to overstep certain boundaries. “I know it’s hard to be overseas when your family is going through the cancer ordeal back at home.”
“Oh.” Chloe traced her index finger across the edges of the keys on her keyboard, keeping her eyes downcast. “Yeah. But I’m getting through it.” She finally met Emelia’s gaze with a smile. “Thank you for being empathetic.”
Emelia placed her glasses back across the bridge of her nose and finally looked at her screen, satisfied. “No problem. What are best friends for?”
Chloe chuckled. “Speaking of which, do you mind if I FaceTime with my sister for a little while to see how things are going? It’s been a couple of days, and I’m itching for an update.”
Emelia smiled. “Of course I don’t mind, silly. You don’t have to ask my permission.” She swirled her wrist in the air. “Go on; I’ll finish up here.”
“Thanks,” Chloe grinned from ear to ear, excited to chatter and gossip with Ashley. Face Time wasn’t exactly as fulfilling as having an in-person conversation with her sister, but it was the next best thing. “I’ll catch up with you before you finish out for the day, okay?”
“Sure thing.” Emelia winked and then set back to her work as Chloe closed the door behind her, going into the hallway for a little privacy.
She dialed her sister’s number, cracking an enormous smile when she saw Ashley’s blonde, perky ponytail bobbing along on the screen.
“Hi,” Ashley panted.
Chloe chuckled. “Where are you?”
“I went out for a run.” Ashley toggled the camera view so that Chloe could see a little slice of her home town in the park by their parents’ house.
“Is it nice weather there?” Chloe started the conversation with a little small talk.
Ashley shrugged, plopping down onto a park bench to catch her breath while she looked at Chloe on the screen. “Good and bad days.”
“I suppose the same could be said of dad and his treatments?” Chloe held her breath as she expectantly waited for Ashley to answer.
Ashley glanced straight ahead, not meeting Chloe’s gaze. She scratched the side of her cheek and finally nodded. “Yeah. Good and bad days.”
“Do you need me to come home?” Chloe would jump the next plane out of her little sis said so.
“No of course not!” Ashley didn’t skip a beat, answering on the spot. For some reason, this made Chloe feel worse instead of better.
“Are you sure?” She wouldn’t relent.
“Yes,” Ashley groaned and rolled her eyes. “I’m sure. Anyway,” she craned her neck to get a better view of what might be happening behind Chloe. “Where are you? What are you doing now?”
Chloe chuckled, inspired by her younger sister’s internal desire to live vicariously through her. “We are in Milan, actually.” She switched the camera so that Ashley could get an enhanced view of the hotel hallway. “I’ve just been working today on marketing and promotions.”
“How is Roman?” The way that Ashley drawled on his name was like a pair of teenage girls wanting to gush about their crushes.
Chloe was relieved that the camera was still facing the opposite direction so that Ashley wouldn’t be able to get a good view to inspect the shock, embarrassed flush of sexual deviance radiating on her face.
“Things are...nice.” She swallowed, taking another second to recover before switching the camera back. Once she did, she smiled in a blasé way, hoping that Ashley wouldn’t see right through her.
“Nice?” Ashley smirked as if that wasn’t a legitimate answer. “What does that mean?” She leaned into the phone as if to get a better view of Chloe’s expression.
“Nothing,” Chloe rolled her eyes and began to pace up and down the hallway in order to keep her mind busy.
“Well, tell him I said hi anyway.” Ashley gave her sister a mischievous smirk.
“I’ll be sure to do that,” Chloe laughed. “How is dad doing?” She asked, hastily wanting to evade any more questions about Roman by avoiding them altogether.
“Do you want to talk to him?” Ashley suggested, taking Chloe’s bait to move on to a different topic.
“I would love to talk to him,” Chloe grinned.
“Okay, I’ll jog home then.” Ashley smiled.
As soon as Ashley entered the house, Chloe’s heartstrings felt a tug as she recognized the leather sofa in the living room, picturing her mom stirring a pot of warm chili on the stove or something. She was instantly hit with nostalgia as if she’d been invited in and was now role reversing to live vicariously through her family.
The camera angle swiveled slightly as Ashley adjusted it to maneuver through the house. After a few moments, Chloe watched her parent’s bedroom door swung open. Her father was laying in the bed, looking limp and feeble.
Ashley’s face came into view on the camera. “Here h
e is,” she said in a peppier voice than Chloe would have expected given the ashen, hollow look of her father’s cheeks and eyes.
“Dad?” Chloe fought back the tears.
Perhaps she just wasn’t used to seeing her dad appear to be in such a frail condition because she hadn’t seen him in person, or on video for that matter, in a while. It was the equivalent of not seeing a child for a while and to be reunited with them, only to realize how much they have grown and changed. Just in this circumstance and from this perspective, it was the exact opposite.
“Hi sweetie,” her father groused, giving her a pallid smile.
He was all bones, frail and small. Chloe tried to keep her spirit vibrant on the outside so not to alarm her father, but inside a well of tears was threatening to break the dam of self-perseverance that teetered on the edge of a breakdown inside of her.
“How is your appetite, Daddy?” Chloe quizzed. “Are you eating enough?” The worry escaped her mouth regardless of whether she wanted it revealed.
Her dad’s eyes appeared glazed over as he attempted to stare through the screen. They were filmy and drained. “Not so much sweetheart,” he admitted and hacked. “This damn medicine they have me on is no help for that either.”
“No cheeseburgers for him,” Ashley quipped, craning her neck so that her head would be partially visible in the phone screen.
“I’m so sorry to hear that, Daddy,” Chloe murmured, suddenly feeling weak herself. “I really miss you guys.” Tears stung her eyes, but she wouldn’t let them spill over and reveal themselves on her cheeks.
Her dad’s warm smile melted her heart and sent a vibration through her soul. “We miss you too. We hope you are having fun over there in Europe.”
“I am,” she admitted. “I think of you all often though.”
Her dad frowned and puckered his lips as if tasting something sour. “Nonsense,” he countered. “You are young and smart. You should be having the time of your life. Forget about your dear old dad.”
This made Chloe laugh. “You are something else; you know that, right?”
“Witty and charismatic, I’d hope.” For the first time since their conversation started, her dad’s expression, once nearly void of life, flashed with humor.
“That’s right, Daddy,” she chuckled.
She couldn’t help but notice that he appeared to be in a worse off condition than she’d left him in, but maybe the paranoia and anxiety was all in her mind. For one, Ashley seemed to be amused by the conversation, and there hadn’t been a trace of dread on her face.
Chloe was just as equipped at reading her sister as Ashley was for her. She seemed to be in colorful spirits, so Chloe had no choice but to take her family at their word that everything was swimming along nicely back at home.
As gut-wrenching as it was to end the exchange, Chloe knew that she couldn’t stare at the tiny screen of her phone forever, wishing she could just jump through the device and into an alternate universe where she would be reunited with her father instantaneously.
“I am going to go now Daddy and let you rest for a while,” she said with a hard swallow. “I will try to check in with you guys again soon.”
“Bye,” her father gave a pitiful wave attached to a bony wrist. He attempted to blow her a kiss to which she entertained him by pretending to catch it through the phone. “I love you, sweetie.”
“I love you too, Daddy.” Chloe was barely hanging on by a thread, but she sucked it up for the power and spirit of her father. “Good talking to you too, Ash,” she mentioned. “Tell Mom I miss and love her too and give you all my best.”
“Bye, sis,” Ashley chimed through the phone with a smile, sitting on the edge of their father’s mattress. “I’m holding down the fort while you are gone.”
Chloe gave her sister a heartfelt smile. “And a mighty fine job you are doing in the process.”
She hung up, feeling a pang of emptiness, but remembering she still had priorities and obligations to fulfill here while the European leg of the tour was in full swing. There were heaps of distractions she could immerse herself in, and one of those included the handsome six foot tall blond-haired, blue-eyed king of romance, Roman.
She smiled as she walked back to the office, daydreaming of reuniting with him. Chloe poked her head through the partially closed conference room door where she noticed Emelia to still be fully engrossed in her work.
“Hey,” she whispered. “Psst.”
Emelia finally glanced up, noticing. “Oh, hey Chloe.”
“Do you need me for anything else right now?” Chloe asked, secretly hoping the answer was no.
Emelia shook her head. “Nope. All good here.”
“Thanks,” Chloe beamed. “Do you mind if I go take a walk to get some fresh air?”
“Sure,” Emelia gave her friend a casual shrug. “How is the family?”
“My dad seems to be trucking right along,” Chloe admitted. It was a partial truth at least.
“That’s terrific,” Emelia smiled. “I’ll see you in a bit. Where are you going?”
Chloe glanced down the hallway. “I don’t know. I figured I might as well absorb some of the Milan cultures. I might go window shopping or something.”
“That sounds amazing,” Emelia said. “I might have to follow in your footsteps and take a break from this computer screen pretty soon. Seriously, my eyes are glazing over.”
Chloe laughed. “I’ll let you know if I find anything worth exploring.” She gave Emelia a wave and cracked the door back the way it was, heading out into the Milan city, draped in culture much like the rest of Europe.
She’d have to force herself to take it all in, to really see any of it. She didn’t want to admit to Em, but nothing was going to be able to distract her right now.
Not even Roman.
Chapter Eighteen
Chloe glanced at a locally made baby doll through a toy shop window. She smiled, pressing her open palm up against the glass. She remembered that she would still need to bring home gifts, little trinkets or souvenirs of some kind for each of her family members.
A model train chugged along on a track on the showroom floor next to the window. If only she could explore her childlike self, even if just for a few moments. She decided to walk through the store, appreciating the handcrafted skill of the owners who created the magic in the eyes of a child. The shop owners appeared to be a pair of older women with hunched backs and scarves swathed over their heads, tucked delicately around their chins with a little knot at the end.
They gave her gentle smiles and nodded their heads respectably. A language barrier prevented them from explaining to Chloe how all the toys in the shop came to be, but Chloe expected it was a magical story filled with wonderment and love.
She picked up an ornament, a figurine of a Cocker Spaniel chasing after a ball. Cocker Spaniel’s were Chloe’s mother’s favorite breed of dog. She pulled out her purse and paid for the ornament, remembering to say Grazie in thanks as she walked out the door, hearing the adorable bell trinket above her head chime as she departed.
She took a deep breath, stopping to explore a food cart with an animated and jovial vendor pushing it along. He was flamboyantly exclaiming Italian phrases left and right to pedestrians and tourists alike in an attempt to convince them to stop and putter around his delectable looking fruits and vegetable items.
Chloe picked up a few tomatoes that were so ripe and fresh looking that she was certain they were hand plucked from a Tuscany valley just that very morning. She bought some grapes, easier to eat than the tomatoes, and popped a few in her mouth as she browsed.
Walking along, she was in her element, nearly balancing the moment with the woes of her father’s sickness that still ravaged her mind. She was in her own little world, her guard left dangling and exposed.
She was enjoying the quality alone time, but she still had a heart flutter over missing her family and even Roman for that matter. He was away for the day doing press and promotions, somet
hing that came along with the territory of being in a traveling band on tour.
He had promised to meet up with her later, and when her phone buzzed in her pocket, she was excited and surprised to see that it was Roman ringing her.
“Hello?” She grinned into the receiver with an expectantly optimistic voice.
“Hey beautiful,” Roman’s husky voice curled through her ears like satin. “What are you doing?”
“Walking through Milan,” she professed, continuing to walk down a side street while she grazed her fingertips across the edges of a building with exposed red brick on the side.
“Alone?” Roman sounded discouraged.
“It’s the middle of the day,” Chloe reminded him. She could take care of herself. She always carried a container of mace in her purse, just to air on the side of caution.
“Okay...” he trailed, pretending to be unconvinced.
“Are you done with your press interviews?” Chloe quizzed.
“Yep,” Roman yawned into the phone. “Just finished up. I’m free as a bird.”
Chloe’s heart sang with a fresh batch of enthusiasm for their budding and blossoming relationship. “That’s excellent. Do you want to meet up somewhere? Maybe have an early dinner?”
“Yes,” Roman agreed. “Where exactly are you? I’ll have my driver bring me to you.”
“Aren’t you just entitled?” Chloe teased in a humored voice.
“Very funny,” Roman quipped. It sounded to Chloe like he might be chewing something on the other end.
Chloe gave him the address of where she was and decided after they hung up that she would linger around the area so that Roman would have an easier time spotting her. She walked into a pottery shop, marveling at the intricate details of the dishes ripe with Italian flare.
She picked up a set of red bowls with hand painted doves going along the border. It would be a perfect gift for her sister, Ashley. Now all she had to do was find something charismatic and charming for her father, to mirror and represent his personality and how much she loved him.
