Her voice came from deep within the kitchen, so I hopped the counter and went looking for her amongst the stoves, deep fryers, and counters once meant to keep high-ranking muckety-mucks fed while the world burned above them. Wow, this place made my old kitchen nook back in Brooklyn look like...well, exactly what it was - a shit box in comparison.
A clanking noise caught my attention and I spotted Sally at the far end of the room, near another door. She had one of those rock monsters on the floor and was busy smashing its skull to dust with a length of pipe. It reminded me to be ever so subtle in my approach to her. We were still friends, but she didn’t realize it, and that could lead to an awkward reunion involving such unpleasant things as my head being pulverized.
Unfortunately, before I could reach her, another of those creatures did. This one tackled her from out of nowhere, its momentum carrying them both through the door.
No!
I raced forward, diving over a counter that stood in my way and knocking over an old heat lamp assembly. I guess I wouldn’t be getting fries with that after all.
Scrambling back to my feet, I heard her cry out, “Get off me, you fucking freak. I’m gonna tear your...what the?”
“Oh, Lucinda, my dear. You have the most intoxicating way with words.”
“Mark?”
Oh shit.
Quit Yer Bitchin and Get in the Kitchen
Coincidence is a bitch, although a part of me knew that had nothing to do with it. Those things were after Ed. The easiest way to find him was to find one of his friends...a prospective girlfriend being a good choice, although I tried to push that little detail from my mind. Talk about complicating matters. Comparatively speaking, fighting was so much easier.
Now all I had to do was hope Sally remembered this guy was plotting to make her his goo-slave, jump in, kill the asshole, and hope she didn’t bash my skull in as way of thanks.
Piece of cake. Yep, that’s what I kept telling myself in the hope that I’d eventually believe it.
I reached the doorway and flattened myself against the wall next to it.
“How are you alive?”
“You didn’t really think your little cave-in would stop us, did you?”
“Cave-in? What are you talking about?”
“The one you and your Freewill friend caused.”
“I don’t know what friend you’re referring to, but I just met the creep.”
Creep? What a bitch!
“If you’re trying to fool me...”
“The last time I saw you...” Her voice trailed off for a moment - almost sounding sad. “I’m sorry, but you didn’t give me a choice.”
“Wait, what are you referring to?”
“The Jahabich. I didn’t want things to end that way.”
“Hold on, you mean you don’t remember...just a few days ago?”
A part of me wanted to spring into action, but I hesitated for some reason. Oh, who was I kidding? I wanted to hear what they had to say - to hear if Sally still had feelings for this guy. If she did...
“Everything is fuzzy. I remember killing Marlene, taking over Pandora, but it feels like there are pieces missing, like maybe I hit my head too hard.” Her voice suddenly hardened. “I do remember you trying to gut me in the sewers, though.”
The previously sarcastic tone of Mark’s voice changed, dropping down to a soothing quality. “I will admit to overreacting.”
“Overreacting?”
Heh, shades of Kill Bill.
“Yeah. Don’t forget I also had Marlene’s orders constantly ringing in my ears. Thirty years of compelled anger is hard to shake off. You know exactly what I’m talking about. Don’t pretend you don’t. I heard stories about Jeff.”
“Don’t remind me about that asshole. So how did you survive?”
“The Jahabich. They’re not what you think and they have access to...well, it’s hard to explain. All I know is they freed me. They could do the same for you. Think about it, Lu - no more covens, no more being a slave to compulsion.”
Oh fuck. It was the sales pitch - conveniently leaving out the fact that while in his blockhead form, he was pretty much just another node on the network.
“No more compulsions...” She trailed off, almost wistfully. It reminded me of how good I had it, never knowing what it was like to be mind-fucked by another vampire into doing whatever the hell they pleased. Sally wasn’t usually one to let her guard down, and let me tell you, she had shields that would have made the USS Defiant jealous, but every so often, I caught a glimpse. It was brief and usually followed up by something sarcastic that would kill the moment, but I was finally realizing the real Sally was a lot more complicated than just painted nails, a great wardrobe, and an attitude problem.
“Exactly. No bending to their will ever again. And we’re going to win too. The vampires and those hairy monsters are both full of themselves, thinking the world will fall to one or the other. They don’t realize there are other forces at play - stronger ones. Older ones. We can remake this world into a better place. Come with me, Lucinda, and let me show you.”
Sally was silent for a moment, sending my “oh crap” meter into overdrive. Surely she wasn’t actually considering it. The Sally I knew wasn’t so quick to jump into bed with anyone...well, figuratively speaking, anyway. Even so, I knew next to nothing about this guy. What had their relationship been? If there had truly been a bond of love between them...
“I said it once before, Lucinda is dead. My name is Sally, and if you think I’m trading in the small bit of freedom I have to be some granite-covered freak, well, then it’s time you stayed buried in my past.”
Or not. Fuck, yeah!
Mark chuckled in response, his voice growing cold again. “A small part of me was hoping you’d say that.” The sounds of feet shuffling could be heard. The time for talking was done.
I stepped around the corner and found the two squaring off in a storeroom. Shelves reached the ceiling, stacked with boxes of presumably non-perishable foodstuffs.
“You guys have room for a threesome?” Hmm, that line sounded distinctly less creepy in my head. I really needed to work on that.
Sally dropped her guard to stare incredulously at me. “You again? Don’t tell me you were eavesdropping because I am gonna rip your balls...ugh!”
Mark wasn’t quite so sentimental about their past that he was willing to overlook the opportunity for a good sucker punch. “Freewill,” he greeted, showing me his blackened teeth.
“Well, if it isn’t the ex. Let’s see if we can finally sign those divorce papers.”
“We were never married, asshole,” Sally snarled from the floor right before slamming a kick into the side of Mark’s knee - a blow that...that did nothing. He barely budged, not even losing his footing.
He grinned even wider. “I may look like my old self, bitch, but believe me, I’ve been upgraded.”
That was the last straw. Nobody called Sally a bitch except for me, and maybe my other friends, and probably any vampires who outranked us, but definitely no sewer-dwelling rock assholes. One had to draw the line somewhere.
Before he could make another move against my friend, I threw myself at him in a dive tackle. Oof! He was right. He might’ve looked like someone who wouldn’t be out of place around my gaming table, but he definitely had the heft of something made from a half-ton of gravel. Even so, we vampires aren’t exactly lightweights ourselves. I might have bruised my shoulder in the process, but we both went down with me on top.
Oh, yeah!
At least until he threw me off of him like I weighed nothing.
“You little punk. Even if I wasn’t better than I was before, I’m still older and stronger than you.”
“Maybe so,” Sally said, rising behind him - whole, if limping a bit. “But I brought you into the underworld.” She followed up with a swing of that pipe she was still holding. It connected solidly and Mark went stumbling across the roo
m. “And I can sure as shit take you out.”
She glanced toward me and, for a second, I was worried she might decide that two nerdy guys needed to die this night, but then said, “You gonna just stand there staring at my tits or do you want to help me kill this asshole?”
“You are so hot when you’re...”
She flashed her fangs at me.
“Which I mean in a purely platonic way, of course.”
Unfortunately for us, Mark was barely even dazed. A large dent stood out on the side of his head, but it rapidly filled in...and then kept going as his form shimmered and thickened, his eyes collapsing in on themselves until all that remained was an empty orange glow. “We will enjoy killing you both. Then we will find the pure one and deliver him.”
“Over my dead body, asshole,” I replied.
“Your terms are accepted.”
Oh shit.
Sally tilted her head slightly to the side. “Pure one?”
“Long story,” I said as we backed out of the room and into the kitchen. I glanced around, hoping for reinforcements. Sadly, neither Gan nor Vargas were anywhere to be seen - same with the other combatants. It appeared the fighting had moved on without us.
“Tell us where the pure one is.”
“And you’ll let us live?”
“No, but your death will be painless...mostly.”
Hell, it wasn’t an entirely bad deal compared to what else I’d gotten that day, but still... “I hate to break it to you, Rocky, but he’s not all that pure.”
“Mother wants him.”
“Mommy will have to find a new plaything...oh, crap!”
Mark had used my own ploy against me, letting me banter until he’d closed the gap. I so hated when the bad guys studied up on this shit. Why couldn’t they just stick to their clichés and die when they were supposed to?
Such speculation would have to wait, sadly. Spreading his clubs out to the side so as to maximize his reach, he came right at us. Being a chivalrous fellow, I moved to shove Sally out of the way, forgetting that she’d been in her fair share of scrapes. Before I could reach her, she nimbly leapt into the air, cartwheeling over Mark and leaving me right smack dab in the way of his charge.
Fortunately, a nice industrial-strength grill assembly eventually stopped his momentum, allowing him to smash me against it in a not-so-gentle fashion. Ouch. The wind knocked out of me, Mark closed his arms around my midsection in the kind of gentle embrace an angry grizzly might make against a lost hiker. The razor sharp shards protruding from him immediately tore into me. It was like being hugged by a giant blender. Blood began to drip from my body as I was slowly shredded from every direction.
Mark grinned, the smile on his pumpkin head nearly a foot across, every inch of it filled with rock-like daggers. He opened wide and leaned forward. I wound up with my right and punched him square in the forehead, mindful of not feeding him my hand.
Yeah, it felt about as good as punching a concrete wall.
He tightened his grip, then, just as suddenly, spun us both around.
Before I could wonder what he was doing, I saw stars as something collided into the back of my head with enough force to make me momentarily forget my name.
“Sorry,” Sally said.
I would’ve admonished her to watch her fucking aim, but the only thing that came out of my mouth was a bloody gurgle as Mark put on the pressure. He once more moved in to give me the last hickey I’d ever receive. I grabbed hold with my claws on either side of his head and kept him at bay, but just barely. I had no leverage and the best parts of me were currently spilling out in rivulets
“Let him go, Mark.”
So nice to see she cared...”ARGH!” Something snapped inside, a rib probably. It wasn’t the first time I’d experienced that, but what made this especially excruciating was the feeling inside of me. I’m no doctor, but if I had to guess, I’d say a broken shard of bone was the culprit. It was jabbing against something in my chest and it hurt...badly. I didn’t think I could stand if it got worse.
Oh no!
A rattling cough escaped my mouth, but I cut it off halfway to scream out again as the shard continued to scrape against my heart.
This was it. I was going to stake myself from the inside out. What a fucking...OH GOD!...what a fucking way to check out.
“Let him go and I’ll surrender.”
“You will be mine regardless.” A deep chuckle escaped its mouth.
“And I’ll throw in the pure one.”
Mark cocked his head to the side as if thinking. “You do not know where he is,” he concluded, calling her bluff.
“No, but I can sniff him out.”
Mark didn’t let up on the pressure, but he stopped making it worse for a moment. How nice of him to give me a couple of seconds to enjoy the agony as my body did what no enemy had been able to do so far. “We will find him.”
“Don’t bullshit a bullshitter, lover,” she said. “You would have done so already. I can see you’re a lot stronger now than you were, but I’m willing to bet you lost some things in the exchange.” She tapped her nose. “Me, my sniffer works better than ever. I can find this pure one you’re talking about. Then you’ll have everything you wanted. You can take us down below and do whatever you want to us...to me.”
That last part had enough seductive intent to almost make me forget I was about to die horribly. She stepped up right behind me. I hoped it was to pry this fucker off, but she instead laid her head on my shoulder and...holy shit...ran her tongue down the side of my face ending at my earlobe. Of all the ways I’d thought I might die today, I’d never have guessed it would be with a mega-boner.
“What do you say?” she purred to him, her hot breath washing against my cheek. She reached around me and touched Mark’s arm, running a finger across it, leaving drops of blood behind. “You’ll have all eternity to prove to me you’re as hard where it counts as the rest of you.”
Mark’s Jahabich form wavered. His body remained as it was, essentially a barbed-wire-covered vise grip that was currently crushing the life out of me, but his face changed back to its human guise.
He leaned forward, a sly grin on his face. “Oh, you have no idea the things I am going to do to you. If you thought I used to make you scream before, that will be nothing compared to what you are going to experience.” The smile widened into something predatory. “But if it’s all the same to you, I think I’m still going to kill this...guh!”
I drove my head forward into his, smashing my forehead directly into his nose. What’s good for the goose is good for the asshole...or not. Mark might have looked human, but he wasn’t soft and squishy like one. I nearly caved my skull in from the effort, my vision doubling and then tripling.
Three Mark heads swam in front of me, leaning back from the blow but looking a lot more pissed than hurt. Within a moment, they turned back into three wavering monster faces, their orange eyes...opening wide in surprise?
Just like that, Sally had used the distraction to leap over us and onto Mark’s back. Ignoring the pain of being in contact with him, she extended her claws and drove both hands deep into his glowing eye sockets. These creatures didn’t have eyeballs, at least none that I could see, but he still didn’t like that - not one bit.
He threw back his head in a roar of rage...and then I was free, free to fall right down to the ground in a pool of my own blood. Yeah, that ought to do it.
I glanced up to see Sally holding on for dear life. The creature’s girth prevented it from using its clubs against her for anything more than glancing blows. They probably hurt, but that was nothing for a seasoned vampire. The Jahabich freak next tried to spin its head around toward her, but she was wrist deep in its skull and had the leverage to keep it from doing so.
That left one thing for the monster to try...whirling around blindly in a rage and trying to smash her against whatever seemed solid.
There was no way she’d be abl
e to hold on for long, and then what? We’d be pummeled into pudding, that’s what. On the upside, at least I wouldn’t have to deal with Gan when she got back. It would also save me from further pontification by Alex. Maybe that wasn’t such a bad...
No, that wasn’t particularly positive thinking.
I wanted nothing better than to pass out for five or six days, but mind scrambled or not, Sally had still proven that, together, we were an unbeatable team. There was no way I’d let her down now.
Also, I had every intention of living long enough to recall the way her tongue had felt during my next session of alone time, if you get my drift.
I pushed up off the floor, once more crying out in pain as the shard of hurt continued to threaten popping the organ essential to my not turning into a pile of ash.
The sound of a collision caused me to glance over my shoulder. Sally still hung on, but Mark was pummeling her against every hard surface he could find. She was getting bloodier by the moment. There was no way she could hold out for long against such punishment.
I took a deep breath...well, really a shallow one. I was pretty sure I had a punctured lung in addition to all the other fun injuries my vampire healing was probably shaking its head in disbelief at. Gathering what little bit of power I had left, I crawled to the nearest wall and used it to brace myself as I clawed back to my feet. I lost my balance for a moment and found myself leaning against a massive steel refrigerator. Hmm, wonder if they had any cold cuts left. I sure as shit could’ve gone for a sandwich and a cold beer right about...wait a second.
A bloody smile crossed my lips. Fuck it all, it was worth a try.
“Yo, Marky Mark, let’s finish this. The better man gets to lay claim to your girlfriend, and I think we already know who that is.”
He spun toward my voice, teeth grinding together and making a most uncomfortable sound. Sally’s head also whipped in my direction, but I put a finger to my lips - hoping she took the hint and kept any snark to herself.
She didn’t.
“When this is over, I want you to tear my panties off with your fangs and take me on top of this asshole’s corpse.”
The Tome of Bill Series: Books 5-8 (Goddamned Freaky Monsters, Half A Prayer, The Wicked Dead, The Last Coven) Page 71
