The Tome of Bill Series: Books 5-8 (Goddamned Freaky Monsters, Half A Prayer, The Wicked Dead, The Last Coven)

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The Tome of Bill Series: Books 5-8 (Goddamned Freaky Monsters, Half A Prayer, The Wicked Dead, The Last Coven) Page 160

by Rick Gualtieri


  Yeah, that sounded like Tom, all right.

  “Don’t worry, Bill,” Sally added. “Turns out he’s pretty hard to hurt. You pop him in the jaw and it snaps right back into place. Hell, I had to stop myself before it became habit forming.”

  “Your self-control is truly awe-inspiring,” I replied. “So how did you guys end up here and he wind up with them?”

  “After we found out where the mages were holed up, we backed off,” Sally explained. “Found a building nearby to hole up in until sundown. Figured we’d double back under cover of darkness. It seemed safest that way since this forest appears to be dying.”

  “The Alma have left the area,” Gan said.

  I looked down at her and nodded. “I kind of figured. So what happened?”

  Sally shrugged. “I grabbed some shuteye and the next thing I knew there were explosions and all sorts of shit going on. Oh, and your idiot friend was nowhere to be found.”

  “He decided to go for a walk around midday and was captured within minutes,” Gan added in a conversational tone.

  “And you know this how?” I asked.

  “Because I saw it happen.”

  “And you didn’t stop it?”

  “Of course not,” she said dismissively. “I am not overly inclined to care about the human’s fate.”

  “Perhaps the one thing we have in common,” Sally commented.

  “However, once it became clear the Magi were under assault and you were the one leading the charge, I immediately sprang into action.”

  “How noble of you,” I replied sardonically. “It’s so good to know...”

  “No, please! We surrendered,” a voice cried out.

  “Dear God, what are you doing?!” another pled.

  The commotion was coming from around the corner, near the historical lodge’s front.

  I ran around the side to find the Templar standing in a semicircle before the entrance. Sheila was at the back, trying to push her way forward but having trouble. She obviously didn’t want to use her aura, now lethal to her former brotherhood, and the knights present didn’t seem too inclined to let her through. They all appeared entranced with what was going on in front of them.

  Bloodlust had apparently gotten the better of three of their number. They had fallen upon the mages, who’d been stunned and were ripping them to bloody shreds.

  Two more of the Templar held a struggling Agnes at bay, but their eyes were more focused on the slaughter than her. Vincent stood at the forefront of the audience, barking orders for his men to stand down, but I saw the look in his eye. He clearly wanted to join them. Every second that passed probably felt like an eternity for the poor hungry fool.

  Sally stepped to my side and let out a sigh of disgust. “Newbs.”

  “I think it’s a bit more complicated than that,” I replied quietly.

  “With these guys, no doubt,” she said. “Just make sure none of them get assigned to any covens we’re part of.”

  “Please!” Agnes cried out again. I’d gotten the sense from her earlier that she wasn’t quite as zealous as some under her charge. What her coven members had tried to do to Tom was apparently the last straw for her. She’d probably been hoping to parlay with us, but it was obvious she hadn’t been expecting this.

  I started forward, but Bernadette was faster.

  She bounded to the front of the line, quite the fascinating display from a woman who looked like she couldn’t do a sit up if someone stapled Twinkies to her shoes. She then stepped up to the two men holding Agnes and slapped them both, getting their attention.

  By her command, they dragged the master mage away, out onto the lawn, while she turned to the three Templar still ignoring everything save the feast before them. She drew the dagger she wore at her side. “I am sorry, my brothers. Forgive me.” Before Vincent or any of the other knights could react, she dusted the three in quick succession.

  “Her resolve is impressive,” Gan said from my other side, where she’d slithered up next to me like a SpongeBob-obsessed snake.

  “Not quite the word I’d use.”

  I expected to see shock or condemnation on the faces of the Templar still present, and indeed Vincent seemed to have been snapped out of his spell by what she’d done. Many of the rest, though, continued to stare greedily at the still oozing corpses of the mages.

  “To your duty, knights!” Bernadette ordered. “Secure this area.”

  Sheila finally managed to push through the crowd. She stepped up next to Vincent and stared sadly at the Templar commander. “I’m so sorry, Bernadette.”

  Bernadette wasn’t having any of it, though. “Brother Vincent, take control of your men. Remind them of their faith. Hold them to it. If they should falter, take action. Save their souls if you can.”

  She turned and walked past them, out onto the lawn where the two knights were still holding Agnes. “Release her.” Then to the mage, she said, “I am truly sorry about that.”

  I started heading toward them, gesturing for Sally and Gan to follow. “Come on, we need to get some answers before she zaps away.”

  “I never meant for this to happen,” Agnes replied, her voice low and ashamed. “When the White Mother appeared to us, I was joyous, elated. Everything I’d ever believed in was suddenly proven true. I joined her readily. Nearly all of us did.”

  I stopped next to Bernadette. “Our friends, where are they?”

  If Agnes heard me, she didn’t give any indication. “But from the start, what she asked of us, it didn’t seem right. If anything, much of it seemed to go against the teachings we all held dear. And then, when some dared to question her...” She paused for a moment. “They were taken, and then ... how they came back to us.”

  Uh oh. Mages couldn’t be turned into vamps, but I had a sinking feeling that didn’t mean they couldn’t be turned into other things – things with soulless orange eyes that obeyed their mother without question.

  “But still we followed. We did as asked, certain that this was our reward, our destiny.” Her eyes sought ours, desperation in them. “You have to understand. Hundreds of years of persecution. Driven nearly to extinction in some parts of the world, our organs sold on the black market in others.” Her eyes locked with Bernadette’s. “Your people forever hunting us in the name of your god. Well, now we had our god and she...”

  “She’s not a god,” Bernadette said, stepping forward. “She’s a devil.” She put a hand on the mage’s shoulder. “My God is one of forgiveness, though, and mercy.”

  Agnes looked at me. “I truly am sorry. Your friends, they were taken to her. Christine ... Kala seemed especially eager for her. Called her a traitor. I kept them with us for as long as I could, thought perhaps I could convince The White to offer her penance or perhaps simply bind her power. But I could sense her anger, the petty spite behind her visage. I know now this is not the Kala I was raised to revere.”

  “You have no idea,” I muttered.

  “I couldn’t stop them, though. My people no longer listened to me. It was only a matter of time before I was brought to her, too, brought down below...”

  “You are free now,” Bernadette said softly. “I can hear the repentance in your voice. A greater power than us all is listening. I cannot forgive you in his name, not as I am now, but I can assure the demoness will hold sway over you no longer.”

  Agnes lowered her eyes for a moment, but then nodded once before looking up again and smiling.

  She was still wearing it on her face when Bernadette reached out, quick as a greased pig, and snapped her neck.

  Shut Your Hole

  Sheila stormed over. “What have you done?!”

  I echoed the sentiment. “We needed her!”

  The witch could have zapped away from here at any point, but she hadn’t. She’d seen enough and wanted out. Just not in that way.

  “My God is one of mercy,” Bernadette said, backing away from us. “But there are so
me sins that cannot be forgiven. I have taken her life so as to spare her the ravages of Hell, same as I have done with my brothers. I do not know if I have succeeded. That is only for Him to know, but I needed to try. They deserved that much, even if in doing so I have damned myself.”

  She continued backing up until her foot reached the edge of the shadows, an area where the setting sun continued to peek through the shade of the trees.

  “What are you doing?” Sheila asked.

  “Protect my brothers, Blessed One. Remind them of their vows. Help them be stronger than I was.”

  “Wait! I don’t understand.”

  “I think I do,” I said. She’d been the first to waver, her thirst getting the better of her, and now she was doing what she could for her friends ... just as I would for mine.

  “Aye, Freewill,” Bernadette replied. “Wicked though you may be, I know. I just pray you have enough decency left within you to make the right choice when your time comes. The Blessed One’s destiny lies before her. The path is laid bare. Will you be yet another obstacle on it, or will you too step into the light when your time comes?”

  She lifted her hand to her forehead, made the sign of the cross, then stepped into the sunlight where her skin immediately began to bubble and blister.

  “Sister Bernadette!” Vincent barreled past Sheila, shoving her to the side, but it was too late. I grabbed hold of him and held fast as his former commander burst aflame.

  It was over quickly, as it tended to be with us vamps. Soon, there was nothing left but dust in the wind. I hadn’t liked her much, but nevertheless hoped she found peace wherever she ended up. I mean, creatures from my Monster Manual were real, so then why, too, couldn’t a concept as simple as Heaven exist? Who was I to say? After all, faith magic had to originate from somewhere.

  Vincent rounded on me once it was over. “Foul beast! How dare you stop me from helping her?” He pulled out a makeshift cross, two sticks he’d tied together at some point, and shoved it impotently in my face.

  I slapped it out of his hand like it was nothing. “She chose her path. Now it’s up to you to choose yours. We can either do this now, and believe me, you’ll lose, or you can get your shit together and keep your people on the straight and narrow until we rescue our friends.”

  That seemed to get through to him. “Do you really think Kelly ... I mean, do you think they’re still alive?”

  His Freudian slip wasn’t lost upon me, but I decided to let it slide ... this time. There’d be plenty of chances to make jokes about him sticking his crucifix in her magic circle later on, or so I hoped.

  Sadly, I couldn’t do much more than offer my own hopes with regard to their current status. “If they are, we’ll rescue them and send that bitch to Hell. If they aren’t, then we’ll send her there twice as hard.”

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  Fortunately, we weren’t given much chance to wallow in our plight. No sooner had I asked Sheila if she was okay than Sally called over to us from the lodge. “I hate to interrupt date night, but you might want to get your asses over here.”

  I, for one, welcomed the interruption. What happened with Bernadette had sucked, but the bigger danger was to our morale. I got the sense the remaining Templar were on the verge of losing it, assuming they didn’t go feral with hunger first. If any of the rest of us, especially Sheila, gave in to despair, that would be it for them.

  Sally drummed her fingers against the doorframe, looking impatient as we walked over.

  “We’re coming,” I said. “Don’t get your granny panties in a bunch. It’s not like you don’t have all of eternity.”

  “I might, but in case you haven’t forgotten, genius, the world probably doesn’t.” She hooked a thumb inside. “Let’s go. You need to see this.”

  “I didn’t realize you had such a hard-on for U.S. history,” I replied, stepping past her. Any other comments I might have made, however, died in my throat as I saw what lay inside.

  “I don’t,” she said from behind me. “But I have taken a sudden interest in spelunking.”

  I’d been here when I was a kid. The main attraction had been a statue of some dead guy whose name I’m sure my history teachers would have bitched me out for forgetting. I must’ve somehow missed the big honking sinkhole at the far end. Maybe I’d been too busy playing my Gameboy, or maybe, just maybe, it was a new addition.

  The rest of the structure had been redecorated in early American witchcraft – a large pentagram on the floor, candles, incense, and arcane symbols burned into every wall.

  Gan was already inside, viewing it all with a studious eye. Tom was there, too, standing on the edge of the hole, looking down.

  I fished my phone from my pocket, still intact, if barely. Thank goodness for militarized cases. It still had a few percentage points of battery left, so I unlocked it and snapped some photos of the place.

  “Think Christy will be interested in seeing this?” Sheila asked.

  “Huh? Maybe.” I put it back in my pocket. “It’s more for Dave once we rescue him. Never a bad idea to scout out new campaign ideas.”

  Sally clapped me on the shoulder. “Planning ahead for future dateless nights? Good. Gives me hope that you think we’re going to win this.”

  I ignored her barb as I refocused on the gaping maw in the floor. “You guys thinking the same thing as me?”

  “Hell yeah,” Tom said. “If we all take a piss at the same time, it might hit that Ib chick right in the face.”

  “I’ve never been much of a churchgoer,” Sally replied, “but in Christy’s case, I’m gonna hold out hope for a virgin birth.”

  “I might join you in that,” Sheila added.

  Stifling my agreement, I stepped over and joined my roommate in peering over the edge. It was pitch black inside, but my night vision cut through the murk enough to see that it wasn’t a straight shot down. The shaft eventually bottomed out. It seemed as though the path continued at a somewhat gentler downward slope. Thank goodness. Even prepared as they were, I doubted the Templar had enough rope for a descent as deep as we’d gone the last time we’d visited Jahabich Central. I, for one, didn’t really care to free-fall all the way.

  “If we can get past that first drop, it looks like it might be walkable ... for a bit anyway.”

  “I have already ascertained as much, my love,” Gan replied, continuing to study the magical desecration of this once mighty tourist trap.

  “Never hurts to get a second opinion.” When she didn’t reply, I asked, “See anything interesting?”

  “Quite. The nuances of magic were one of the more fascinating areas of study I undertook at my father’s insistence.”

  “Was always more of an early Renaissance poetry girl myself,” Sally commented.

  “I am impressed you know what that is,” Gan replied offhandedly. “The whores my father kept were barely literate. He saw little value in educating them beyond the services they provided.”

  Sally produced a handgun and pointed it at Gan’s back. “How about I show you all the things I learned in chemistry class about explosive reactions?”

  I put my hand over the barrel and gently lowered it. “Here’s an idea. Why don’t we wait until this is over to sign each other’s yearbooks?”

  Sally glared at me for a moment before putting the weapon away with a grudging nod.

  “Good. Now if we can stop sniping at each other for a moment, is there anything you can tell us, Gan?”

  Without answering, she walked over to the northern wall, extended the claws of her hand, and raked them through some of the symbols. “It is fortunate that we have the Shining One with us,” she said. “Otherwise, we would almost certainly be under observation. This is old magic, however. It is possible that even her presence might not be enough to block it for long. Beloved, kindly order the freshly risen to destroy the rest of these. This is work best suited for servants.”

  “The Templar are not servants to beas
ts such as yourself,” Vincent growled from the doorway. “We...”

  “We need to knock it the fuck off is what we need to do,” I snapped. “Don’t make me compel you guys to take a chill pill.”

  “As if you could, if you wanted...”

  “SHUT IT!!” Sally commanded. Vincent immediately stopped talking, to which she added, “So much for that theory.”

  Sheila and I both turned to stare at her.

  “What? He practically dared me.”

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  Being that her Highness considered herself too good to vandalize a national monument, Sally and I worked on defacing the magic on the walls. Once that was done, I stepped to the circle on the floor, intent on drawing a giant dick in the middle of it, when Gan grabbed hold of my wrist.

  “Leave that be, my love.”

  “Why? Is it going to explode?”

  “Hardly,” she replied. “I believe this circle is charged with displacement magic.”

  “So ... what?” I asked. “Half of me will end up somewhere else?”

  She smiled. “Truly your ignorance of such matters is endearing, but no. Did not the mentor say that your friend was taken to Ib?”

  “You heard that?”

  “Is it not obvious?” I somehow managed to keep from decking her as she continued. “If what we are led to believe about the Jahabich lair and the methods of entry are true, I suspect this may be helping to power a means to access that lair.”

  “Okay, that explains the big gaping hole in the floor. I mean, I kinda figured they didn’t dig it to bury pirate treasure, but why not open a portal directly there? Why the big effort to ensure we have to play tomb raider?”

  “I do not know,” she replied after a moment, an annoyed look on her face. Apparently, little Miss Perfect wasn’t too keen on being in the dark on something.

 

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