by Harley Wylde
“Where’s the doctor’s office?” I asked, heading back to my bike.
The Prospect gave me directions and I took off, intent on finding out what was wrong with my daughter, and why the hell no one had told me she was sick. I pulled up outside the doctor’s office a short while later and went inside, scanning the waiting room. No sign of Josie or any Reapers. The woman at the front desk was eyeing me like she’d like to lick me like a lollipop, so I turned up the charm to see what she’d tell me.
I swaggered over and gave her the smile that tended to make panties drop. “Hey, darlin’. I’m looking for Josie and Allegra.”
She scanned me again. “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t give out patient information to strangers.”
“Not even if the stranger is that little girl’s daddy?” I asked.
Her mouth dropped open and she blinked a moment.
“What? You thought Josie had an immaculate conception?”
She napped her jaw shut. “Um, n-no. They’re in room four. Just through that door,” she said, pointing to the door at the end of her counter.
I winked and went through then tried not to stomp my way to room four, still feeling pissed off that no one had said my kid was sick. I didn’t bother knocking, just went inside. A tall man in a white coat had his arm around Josie as my woman cried against his chest. What the fuck? A Reaper stood in the corner, his arms crossed and a stoic expression on his face as he stared at my daughter.
“Hands off her, jackass,” I said, moving farther into the room.
“What is it with bikers and their limited vocabulary?” the doctor asked as he released Josie.
She wiped her eyes, but when she looked at me, there wasn’t anger. Just sadness. It made my nape prickle, and I moved farther into the room, noticing the little girl lying on the table, too still. Too pale. Her eyes were closed, but they opened and focused on me. I moved across the room slowly and reached out to stroke her red hair.
The Reaper standing nearby glanced at me, but his expression was blank. I think that worried me more than Josie apparently having a breakdown of some sort.
“Hey, pretty girl. Not feeling good?” I asked softly.
She just blinked at me.
“What’s wrong with my daughter?” I asked the doctor.
His eyebrows shot up and he glanced at Josie, who gave him a slight nod. Like I fucking needed permission to hear about what was wrong with my kid.
“It started as an ear infection and some redness and swelling in her throat,” the doctor said. “But now she’s getting weaker, and her fever has spiked to 104.3. I was going to run some tests, but with Allegra’s history, I think it would be better if Josie took her to the hospital.”
History? What history did my kid have that made him so worried? Was he talking about her being premature? I hadn’t realized that was something that would affect her for the rest of her life. It was just a fever, right? She could take antibiotics and be good as new. Wasn’t that how all this worked? I looked at Josie and I could tell she was about two seconds from falling apart again. I reached for her and pulled her to my chest. My hand pressed to her lower back while I tangled my other hand in her hair. She started crying again, her hands clutching at me.
“It’s going to be fine, baby,” I said, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “She’ll bounce back and be running around in no time.”
“I can’t lose her,” Josie said between sobs.
“I can call an ambulance to take her, or you can drive her to the ER yourselves,” the doctor said. “She’ll be treated faster if an ambulance takes her. Those cases are always a priority.”
“Ambulance,” Savior said. “We’ll wait until Allegra has been taken, then we’ll follow. I’ll call Tank and the others. I’m sure they’ll come wait with us.”
“You can ride with me,” I said, my hand tightening against Josie’s back. Fuck. She felt perfect in my arms, even if the circumstances weren’t ideal. I hadn’t realized just how much I’d missed her, missed holding her, until this moment.
The doctor left to make the call, and about ten minutes later, paramedics came through to get Allegra. Josie cried even harder when they walked out with our daughter, and Savior followed them. I held onto Josie, keeping her back long enough for her to pull herself together.
“Come on, baby. I need you to dry your tears. Allegra needs us to be strong if she’s feeling sick, right?”
She nodded and I wiped the tears from her cheeks.
“I want to hate you. I feel like I should scream at you and throw shit, but… I’m glad you’re here,” she said. “I don’t think I can go through this alone again.”
“What happened before?” I asked.
“Allegra was two months premature. I’d been on bed rest for over a month because my placenta tore, and they worried I would lose her. Then a few days after she was born, she had an intraventricular hemorrhage. They said it sometimes happened in babies with underdeveloped lungs. She was so damn small, only four pounds. They said if she’d been full-term, she would have been a nice healthy weight.”
“What’s that intra… whatever?” I asked.
“She had bleeding on her brain. I don’t remember all the technical stuff they said, but it was a grade two, which meant she shouldn’t have long-term effects. It’s possible, but not as likely. But she’s not developing as quickly as she should. She didn’t walk until she was over a year old, and she has yet to speak.”
“I’m sorry.” I smoothed her hair back. “I should have been here. Why didn’t you ever call and tell me I had a daughter?”
She looked away before meeting my gaze again. “You made it really clear you didn’t want kids. I knew Allegra hadn’t been planned, and I didn’t want you to feel like I’d tried to trap you. I’d forgotten that some medications can alter the potency of birth control pills. About two weeks before I met you, I’d gotten sick and taken some antibiotics. My doctor said that the birth control pills would have needed a month to build back up in my system before being effective.”
“You should have called, Josie. I don’t know that I would have reacted any better than I did when I showed up on your doorstep last week, but at least I would have had the option of being part of her life. Of being part of yours.” I slowly lowered my head, and when she didn’t pull away, I pressed my lips to hers in a brief kiss. “I missed you.”
“We should go to the hospital and wait for news on Allegra.”
I nodded and took her hand. “Come on. We can take my bike.”
When we got outside, she hesitated before she climbed on back of my Harley. “This doesn’t change things, Jackal. You left us. Pretty much called me a whore when you did show back up. I’m vulnerable right now, but if Allegra wasn’t sick, I wouldn’t be getting on this bike with you. Wouldn’t have let you kiss me in there.”
“I’m not leaving Alabama without you, Josie. You or Allegra. We can talk as much as you want, but I’m taking the two of you home with me. It’s why I took so long to come back after finding out I was a dad. I had a few things to take care of, make sure Allegra would have a nice home.”
She just stared at me a moment before sliding onto the back of my bike. With her arms around my waist and her body pressed to mine, I was taken back to that first night we’d met. I’d never been hotter for another woman, and hadn’t met her equal since then. For two years, the part of me that had been missing was Josie. I’d just been too stupid to admit exactly how much I wanted her in my life. I’d thought it was something I’d eventually get over. Even when other women hadn’t appealed to me I’d thought maybe one more taste, and then she’d be out of my system. I should have known better. A woman like Josie only came along once in a lifetime.
I pressed my hand over her clasped ones, then I pulled out of the parking lot and drove to the hospital. Hopefully, the doctor was just being overly cautious and Allegra was fine. I wouldn’t admit to anyone just how fucking scared I felt, having seen her so pale and lifeless on that
table. I’d lost nearly two years with my daughter, and if something was seriously wrong with her, then I could lose out on having her in my life completely. And that scared the shit out of me.
When we got to the hospital, I parked near the ER entrance and walked inside with Josie. Savior was already there, along with Torch, Venom, Tank, Flicker, and two other Reapers. Even a few Prospects were leaning against walls or sprawled in chairs. I didn’t know if the show of support was for Josie or because of how much everyone loved Allegra. The doors opened behind us and a hand landed on my shoulder. I looked over at Scratch, who gave me a nod, then Stripes and Phantom came in behind him. I wondered if Shadow was coming too, or if he’d stayed behind to help guard Zipper’s woman. If that’s why my club was even still here. No one had said whether or not the threat was over.
We all moved farther into the room, and Josie went to sit with her brother. Tank wrapped an arm around her, then glared at me. As much as I wanted to sit with Josie, hold her hand, it was obvious the Reapers didn’t want me here. They closed ranks around her and I was left standing on the outside. Instead of telling them to fuck off, I gave Josie some space. She was stressing over our daughter, and I didn’t want to upset her even more. I’d done that enough already.
It felt like we’d waited forever before a doctor came through.
“Family for Allegra Baker?” the doctor asked.
Josie stood up and I had a what the fuck moment. My kid didn’t even have my last name? Had she listed me on the birth certificate at all? Or was Alabama one of those states where I had to be legally aware Allegra existed before that could happen? Just another thing to deal with later. I moved in closer to stand by Josie and hear what the doctor had to say.
“Ms. Baker, Allegra is resting comfortably. We gave her something to help her sleep. The best ENT in the state works at this hospital, and he’ll be taking over Allegra’s care until she’s released to go home. Her ear infection is pretty severe, and she has strep. From the tests we’ve run, there don’t seem to be any other issues,” the doctor said. “Because her fever is still high and doesn’t seem to be dropping, we’re going to admit her for observation. With her medical history, we don’t want to take any chances.”
“Can we see her?” Josie asked.
“You may. If the father is here, he can go with you. Everyone else will need to remain out here,” the doctor said.
Josie looked over at me and I reached for her hand. It surprised me when she didn’t pull away. We followed the doctor through the ER doors into the back, and he showed us to a curtained-off area where Allegra was asleep, looking way too small on the big bed.
“You can talk to her,” the doctor said. “She’s just sleeping, but maybe hearing your voices will assure her that she’s not alone.”
“Thank you,” I said, shaking the man’s hand as Josie claimed the only chair by the bed. I placed my hand on her shoulder and gave it a little squeeze.
“I’m sorry,” Josie said softly. I thought she was talking to Allegra until she looked up at me. “I wasn’t trying to be a bitch by not telling you about her. I genuinely thought you didn’t want either of us, and I thought I was doing you a favor by not telling you that I was pregnant.”
“What’s done is done, Josie. The question is how do you want to move forward?” I asked. “Because I want the two of you to move in with me. I know your family is here, that the Reapers have been a big support system for you, but Devil’s Boneyard will treat this little girl like a princess too. If you give us a chance.”
“I don’t have anything against your club, Jackal. I’m not sure moving Allegra away from her doctors is a good idea, though. She’s been a sickly little girl. I told you about her slow development, but there’s more. She gets sick very easily because she has a weakened immune system. This isn’t her first ear infection. I just didn’t realize what was going on because she wasn’t pulling at them like she usually does.”
“Just think about it, Josie. Please. I’ve missed out on almost two years of her life. If we live in separate states, how much more will I miss?” I asked. “I know we don’t have women in the club like you do here, but we can figure everything out. Don’t shut me out. I know I was an asshole, a really big one, and I’m sorry.”
“I can’t think about this right now,” she said, rubbing at her forehead.
She was right. This wasn’t the time or place, but we did need to talk, and soon. I’d stay as long as I could, but Cinder would eventually need me for a job. Not to mention, I had no idea where I was going to sleep while I was here. I didn’t think the Reapers were going to welcome me anytime soon.
Josie talked to our daughter, rubbing her arm, and soothing her. I didn’t have the first clue about being a dad, so I mostly stayed out of the way, but close enough Josie would remember I was here, in case she needed me. We stayed in the ER for over an hour before they found a room for Allegra in the pediatrics ward. An orderly rolled the bed up to that floor and we followed. Josie sent a text to her brother once we were settled and the nursing staff had checked on Allegra. It didn’t take long for the Reapers and my brothers to make their way up to us, but they hung out in the hall, only two coming in a time.
“She’s tough,” Tank said. “She’s going to be fine, Josie.”
“I know. I just hate seeing her here, all sick and pale. Makes me remember those first days.”
He gave her a hug and I hung back. Savior had come into the room with him, and the man was eyeing me like he hadn’t decided yet if he should toss me out the nearest window or let me keep breathing. I didn’t know what his connection was to Josie and my daughter, but I wanted to ask. As beautiful as my woman was, I knew that other men wanted her. It wouldn’t surprise me if someone had made a move on her in the nearly two and a half years I’d been gone from her life. And that was my fault, not hers. She was right. I’d made it clear that I never wanted kids those days we’d pretty much stayed in bed, fucking like rabbits. She’d had no reason to believe that I would want anything to do with her or a kid when she found out she was pregnant.
“We’re going to have a Prospect here at all times,” Tank said. “It will likely be Ivan since you seem to like him. Not in the room with you, but in the waiting room down the hall. You text or call him if you want or need something, even if it’s just some coffee or something. They’ll take turns hanging out for a few hours at a time until our little angel can come home.”
“You don’t have to do that,” Josie said.
“Are you going to leave her long enough to go eat?” he asked.
She pressed her lips together and he smiled a little.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought. So humor me. I want to make sure you pass out while you’re at her bedside.” Tank looked at me. “And I guess you’re staying too?”
“Yep.” I nodded toward one of the recliners in the room. “I’ll sleep there.”
“I guess Ivan can bring you food too,” he said, stared at me hard, then kissed Josie on the cheek before he left.
Savior lingered a moment and gave Josie a hug, then kissed Allegra on the forehead. “You need anything, you call. If the Prospects are falling down on the job, you let me know.”
“Thanks, Gabe,” Josie said softly, her gaze still on Allegra.
The man didn’t seem to care that Josie had just called him by his given name, but it pissed me the fuck off. She’d never called me anything but Jackal, even when I’d been balls deep inside her. I didn’t like that the two of them seemed close. Closer than I was with Josie. It wasn’t right.
He stepped out, and for the next hour it was a revolving door between Reapers and Devils coming to check on Allegra and give their support. Josie looked overwhelmed so I shut the door and dimmed the lights. She gave me a grateful smile as I pulled one of the recliners a little closer to the bed and urged her to sit. There were shadows under her eyes and she wore a pinched expression that told me just how worried she was about Allegra.
“They said you sle
pt an entire day,” I said. “You sick too?”
She shook her head. “Just tired. I haven’t slept more than maybe an hour or two a day lately. Even before she was fussy and showed symptoms of being sick, she was having trouble sleeping. It was easier to just stay up and try to nap when she did.”
“You can’t do that, Josie. You’re going to run yourself down, and when you collapse, who will watch Allegra?” I asked.
“Savior helped me the last few days.”
I growled. I tried to hold it back, but I couldn’t, and she looked up at me in surprise.
“I’m not yours, Jackal,” she said.
“Eric.”
“What?” she asked, her brow furrowing.
“You can call that asshole, Savior, by his given name, so you can damn sure use mine. Call me Eric when we aren’t around the others.”
“Eric,” she said, then stared at me. “You never told me your name.”
“Never?” I asked, trying to think back to our few days together. And I realized that she was right. I’d never given her my name. No wonder my kid didn’t have my name. She hadn’t even fucking known it. Christ. I really was a fucking asshole.
“Guess we were too busy doing other things,” she said, her cheeks flushing.
It made me wonder how many times since, then she’d done those other things with other men. I didn’t have a right to feel jealous. I’d walked out, never looked back. There was no way a gorgeous woman like Josie had been single all this time. I was just glad she hadn’t married someone, or become an old lady for one of the Reapers.
I had a lot of shit I needed to fix. I’d fucked up badly when it came to Josie and my kid. I had no doubt that if Allegra weren’t sick right now, Josie would have slammed the door in my face this morning when I showed up at her house. And maybe she would have been right to do that. I’d fucked her, gotten her pregnant and abandoned her, and never even told her my name or gave her my number. Assholes did shit like that, and when it came to her, I didn’t want to be an asshole. She wasn’t some club slut, and she deserved a hell of a lot from me.
