by Fiona Faris
“Alice, lassie, I am glad ye’ve returned.”
The woman on the table stood and rushed past Alice, turning at the last minute to say, “yer mate is a rightfully handsome man, I’d hold on tae him if I were ye.” But Alice leaned away from the woman, clearly irritated with the whole situation. She was about to rush off when Aithe reached out to grab her arm.
“Where are ye goin’?” he asked, confused by the absurdity of the scene playing out in front of him.
“Well, it seems you would rather have breakfast with another woman. Why don’t you then? I’ll leave you be, and you can find me when you are done doing whatever you want to do, and then we can go to your home, and you can rush off and continue living your life doing whatever it is you want to do.” She spoke breathlessly and tried to rush off again, but Aithe blocked her way. He waved his hands in front of him, trying to calm her down.
“Please, lassie, the only thing I want right now is tae have breakfast with ye and get back on our journey.” He was unsure why Alice was acting as she was and didn't know how to reassure her.
She looked around in the dining area and let out a huff of breath as she sat down, but she refused to say anything else to Aithe. He was unsure of what was taking place but knew better than to try to talk to her about it at the moment for fear of saying something that might upset her.
What had she meant by rushing off to Cadney to live his life how he wanted? Was that all she thought he wanted? That he was only rushing them so that he could leave her again? If he rushed them, it was only to ensure her safety from her uncle. Aithe wished he could fix the situation, but a worker brought them their plates, and the two focused instead on eating.
Chapter Twenty-One
Aithe watched as Alice walked ahead of him. He had tried a few times to talk to the lassie, but she was having none of it. He was worried that if she continued walking at such a pace, she would tire well before they hit their limit. He, too, was having difficulty keeping up with her, given how much pressure he had placed on his leg over the last two weeks.
“Alice, lassie, ye cannae continue ignoring me or rushin’ off. I may be mightae strong and quick, but me leg cannae keep up with ye!” Aithe yelled after Alice and threw his arms into the air. Alice stopped suddenly, and Aithe could see that his comment about his leg had struck a chord.
She turned around with her arms still crossed and waited for him to catch up with her. “I apologize, I will keep a more moderate pace,” she added through tight lips.
“Well, it seems the day is off tae a fine start with a very good breakfast,” Aithe spit the words out sarcastically, and Alice scoffed as he finished. He looked at her still very confused by her behavior. If she was mad at him, he wished she would just tell him. He couldn’t fix anything if he didn’t know.
“Well, I am glad it was a great breakfast for you. I will make a note of it: Aithe enjoys breakfasts where he can face a large set of bosoms before the meal has even begun.”
Aithe stopped suddenly. It all clicked into place. That was what had been bothering Alice all morning. He couldn’t help it, he suddenly burst out in a fit of laughter.
“What is so funny?” she asked, peering at him with her arms still crossed.
“Aye lassie, ye are vary cute when yer angry!” He yelled before rolling around in another fit of laughter.
“Aithe, do not laugh at me.”
“Lassie, th’ woman was nothin’ more than a wench approachin’ a man who was alone in a corner. She was just tryin’ tae make her money in any way she could. I was tryin’ tae tell her tae leave me be when you approached.” Aithe looked at Alice, begging her to understand him.
But Alice was still clearly upset and not caring what he said at that point. She had already made up her mind about the situation.
“Aithe, I am not one to tell you how to live your life. For all I care, you could have rushed off with the woman!”
“Alice, lassie, I had no interest in the lassie, and I wish ye’d believe me.” Aithe tried to stifle his laughter, but he was actually enjoying the image of Alice so frustrated and jealous at the thought of him wanting to spend time with another woman. It was ridiculous. He had no interest in the other lassie, and even if he had the money, he would have given it to her freely, just to help her make her living. He wished he could have told Alice before seeing the other woman, that he had been thinking of how beautiful she looked.
“Aithe, if you want to rush off and do whatever it is you want to do with another woman, feel free to do so.”
“What makes ye think I want tae be spendin’ time with another woman?”Aithe pleaded with Alice, trying to see why she would ever believe he wanted to be around any woman but her.
“I saw how you looked at her, and you have made it very clear that you want to live your own life while I live mine.” She stormed off, and Aithe was suddenly struck silent. Alice was right. He had made it very clear from early on that he was not a man to stick around and live a married life, nor was he a man to have a family with. The fact that he had stated those words so clearly made him wish he had not done so.
The two walked forward in silence, and Aithe began to see just how upset Alice was. It wasn’t just the fact that he talked to the woman. That, he knew, was not the issue, but the uncertainty it touched on. Aithe saw that Alice believed he did not have many feelings for her, that she was only some sort of responsibility to him, which was not the case at all. Aithe cared for Alice, far more than just one individual caring for another in a difficult situation. Aithe found he was developing feelings for Alice that went beyond caring for his best friend’s sister. He wanted to be with Alice at all times. He wanted to be by her side. He wanted to make love to her, kiss her, hold her, comfort her. He was starting to worry he was falling in love with Alice.
But if Aithe told Alice that he was not so sure he wanted to rush off to live a separate life, then it was something that could never be undone. What if he arrived in Cadney, began to live with Alice, only to find it was not enough. He had always been an adventurous lad, someone who needed to see the world to be fulfilled. The last two years he had spent so much time in the mines that all he had thought about was Alice. But was that responsibility that drove him to think of her? Or perhaps routine, given that he had thought of her in the mines with Christopher?
He watched Alice walk ahead, and knew he should speak, tell her he was developing feelings for her, and really cared for her. But what if she didn’t care for him? Maybe she was hurt by the idea that he wanted to leave, but did Alice want more from him than a marriage of convenience? She had not hinted at anything of the like and had only given the idea that she wanted something physical from him, as a wife sometimes wants from her husband. But she never mentioned developing feelings for him.
Aithe began to doubt his ideas and his understandings. Perhaps her jealousy stemmed from him talking to the woman as her husband and not from the fact that she did not like the image of him talking to another woman? Aithe was beginning to think he had spent far too much time outside and beneath the sun. His mind was spinning with nerves and fear. For the first time in his life, he was beginning to question the motives behind his choices. Was his selfishness really based on a life he wanted or fear of being hurt? He had only been with women casually, never allowing himself to settle down. He had never truly ever wanted to. He knew most women wanted a certain kind of man, and he did not think he could ever be that man, and the idea that he would disappoint someone in his life was enough to make him not bother. His obligation to Christopher and Alice was the first time Aithe had seen his responsibilities through.
Aithe began to wonder about his outlook on life. He had never truly worried about providing for himself and always thought he could be a hired soldier or work wherever he was needed, but would that make him happy? What was it that he was avoiding in seeking out work that kept him far from home, alone, and now, away from Alice? It wasn’t as if he came from a family where he had no other options. If Aith
e wanted to, he could take over his father’s clan as the clan’s rightful heir. His father was doing well, but he was aging. It would only be a matter of time before someone new had to take over and guide the clan, help them grow, and ensure their safety through the next few decades. Aithe had never been much interested in the role. He did not know if he wanted the responsibility of handling so many villagers’ lives, of having their safety rest on his shoulders. But he could see now that perhaps he was afraid of disappointing them just as he was afraid of disappointing Alice. But he had spent so much time away from home, he wasn’t even sure his father would trust him to lead the clan.
Aithe wanted to make Alice happy as well, as he too wanted to be happy. But at what cost? What if, in trying to make her happy, he only made her just as miserable as she was at her uncle’s home? There was not much Aithe could do to make her future home into an estate the size of the one she had lived in. He could try to give her ways to fill her time, but what if she was bored with it all after a short while, there was nowhere else she could go? She was bound to him by marriage and by fate.
Aithe thought that perhaps the two of them didn’t honestly know what the other wanted, but most importantly, he didn’t even know what he wanted for himself. He had only a few days left to decide how important his freedom was, and if it was worth upsetting Alice and being far away from her. But was being with Alice worth the cost of his freedom?
Aithe had never genuinely thought about starting a family, but when he had met the small boy last year, he began to wonder if he could be as good of a father as his own had been. Now, as he spent time in the inn, and as they walked through the quaint village, he saw so many young children running around outside that something stirred in him. He wanted to carry on his family’s name and to carry on his own legacy. But did Alice wish to be a mother? Did she want to bear his child? These were all things Aithe knew they should each know for themselves and about each other, but their lives were so different than so many other lovers that they now had to discover these things inside their marriage rather than without.
Aithe decided he would, after the two of them settled down in Cadney, do his best to talk to Alice, to ask what she truly wanted. And for the rest of their journey, he would consider what it was he wanted, and if he was willing to share his feelings with Alice. He knew he couldn’t deny his feelings for the lass any longer. As much as he tried to avoid developing romantic feelings for her, he had done so a long while ago, before he could have ever expected it.
Aithe and Alice walked on for hours. The air around them was silent and heavy with the fog of Scotland. As they neared a soft creek, Aithe and Alice both turned suddenly towards the north.
“Did you hear that?” Alice asked Aithe. He nodded and held up a hand as if asking her to listen for a moment.
“Aye, lassie, I did. What dae ye reckon 'tis?” Aithe stopped in his tracks, afraid of making another noise.
“I'm not sure, but it sounds like a child.” Alice leaned forward, listening as well.
“A child? That cannae be good, nay this far away from a village.” Aithe rushed forward towards the north, hearing the cry more clearly now. Alice followed close behind him. Her head turned wildly, and Aithe saw her press ahead with a strength and determination he had yet to see in her. It was as if a motherly instinct was pulling her towards the crying child.
The patch of trees they had been weaving through broke suddenly into a small dirt road. Up ahead, Aithe saw carriage with a broken wheel and heard the cries of the child clearly. The wee one sounded in pain. Aithe looked around but did not see anyone. He rushed to the carriage, worried for the safety of the child as Alice followed closely behind.
When he reached the carriage, he peeked inside and saw a woman cradling a small child. Her eyes held the look of panic and he could see she was fearful in the way she pulled the child away from him. Alice approached, and upon seeing another woman, the mother seemed to relax. She looked to her babe and back at Alice before deciding to lean forward and open the carriage.
“Help, me child, he’s vary sick.” Alice looked at the woman and placed her head against the child’s forehead.
“He’s burning up,” Alice said.
“Me husband went off tae look fer help. We were takin’ our son tae visit family but he got sick on the journey and we have nay been able tae get the fever down.”
Aithe let Alice handle the woman and instead, looked to the wheel. It was broken in more than one spot and was not going to be an easy fix.
“There's a small creek nearby,” Alice spoke calmly to the woman. “Let me rush back there. Do you have anything I could bring you water in.” The woman nodded and looked around the carriage before handing a small canteen to Alice. She rushed off back towards the creek they had recently crossed.
“I dinnae think I can get the wheel fixed, but I can see what I can find nearby tae help ye and yer family.” Aithe said to the woman.
“Thank ye, vary much.” She said in a similar Scottish accent. Aithe rushed off, unsure of what it was he was looking for. He didn’t think the natural world around them would have anything he could use to fix a wheel with two broken spokes. If he did find wood, he would need something sturdier than vine to keep it together so it could bear the weight of the carriage. But still, he rushed off in search of something.
Aithe heard Alice return as he was wandering away from the carriage. She gave the woman some water to drink and also put some on her hands to place against the babe’s warm forehead.
Aithe continued exploring the land around them, and he wandered further into the forest. As he looked around, he thought he saw the tracks of wheels and possibly an old road that had become overgrown. He followed it further into the trees and was pleasantly surprised to find a small and ancient-looking cottage most likely used by a traveling merchant who took this road many times. Aithe knocked on the door but could see by the rust of the handle that no one had been there in a very long time.
With a little force, he pushed his way inside until the door broke beneath his weight in a cloud of dust. He looked around and saw some items of furniture and a small place for a fire to be made. With the way the weather had been turning, he knew it best for the family to follow him here. Only in a small house could they care for the child as needed.
Aithe rushed back towards where the broken carriage was situated. Upon his return, he saw a man he assumed to be the husband. He quickly approached and stuck his hand out.
“Hello lad, Aithe MacGuille.”
“Dirk McGruffin,” the man said in response. “Ye reckon ye can help us fix this wheel?” The man looked down at the broken wheel with little hope in his eyes.
“I ken yer child is sick, and I dinnae think I can fix this alone. But I have found a small home, an old traveler’s home likely, and I think we can stay the evening there if the weather worsens. There may be some tools we can use tae fix this up and get ye runnin’ in the mornin’.” The man’s eyes widened at hearing about the small house.
“Tis wonderful, we have been here fer hours, and I fear our child is growin’ sicker. The clouds are heavy with rain, and I worry it will fall before we have a chance tae leave.”
“I have th’ same worry,” Aithe said with his head tilted towards the sky. Nearby, Alice watched as the two men exchanged ideas. They decided to do their best to push the carriage towards the cottage. Aithe’s leg pained him, but he knew the other man needed his help. The woman walked ahead alongside Alice who carried a few of their things. Without the woman and babe in the carriage, it was lighter and easier to move, but the men still struggled. Thankfully, it was not too far away from where they had been stranded. Aithe pulled with all his might with each pull, Aithe’s leg ached more and more, but he knew the man was counting on his help and pushed on.
Finally, when Aithe had little strength left, they managed to get the carriage to the small traveler’s home. Alice and the wife were already getting situated inside. Aithe felt his vision fade in a
nd out. He shook his head, willing himself to do all he could to help the family, but his body seemed weakened by the weight of the journey. Aithe knew if he did not rest soon, he would have a tough time getting back to Cadney on foot.
They quickly did what they could, taking the tools out to the carriage and taking a gander at the wheel. Aithe walked in small circles around it and turned to face the woods behind them.
“I dinnae ken how we are goin’ tae fix this,” the man said. But Aithe knew how. It would take a good deal of work, but if one spoke was broken, they would need to make a new one in place of it.
“Lad, we will find a way. We need tae fix this, yer child be needin’ a healer. We will make a new spoke and add it tae the wheel. I saw a wee bit o’ logs in the house, we can see if one be sturdy enough tae use.”
The man let out a sigh of relief as if, in his panic, he was unable to think of such a clear solution.
“Alright, lad, let’s dae it then.” He rushed inside, and Aithe followed him. Meanwhile, Alice was doing all she could to help the woman with her child. She seemed overwhelmed and exhausted.
