by Fiona Faris
Eventually, he fell asleep, and Alice too tried to sleep, even if only for a few moments.
She jumped up however, as he spoke in his delirium.
“No, no,” he mumbled over and over again, and Alice tried to calm him, running her hands over his back. He cried out, “lookout!” and “Christopher!” Alice knew then he was being plagued by his own guilt. The feelings of guilt he kept locked away were slipping out into his dreams. She worried for him, for a man with his past must have much he avoided facing.
“It’s alright, Aithe, it’s alright.” She said over and over again in as soothing a voice as she could muster.
Aithe seemed to settle down, and as his body started to quieten, he mumbled instead, “Alice, my Alice.” He repeated the words over and over again like a chant to ward off the bad dreams. She wondered if he was partially awake or still dreaming. His eyes moved as though in a deep sleep. Each time she heard her name slip between his lips, she felt a stirring in her heart. She cared deeply for Aithe and wanted to make sure he was well. But there was nothing she could do further.
She wanted to climb in bed next to him, to hold him but worried it would only make his fever worse. As she sat, watching him struggle to sleep restfully, she thought about the last time she had lost him. Alice had grieved Aithe for a whole year before realizing he was alive. Now, as she watched the fever take hold as the night progressed, she thought about how much she had suffered. Was she at risk of losing Aithe again?
Tears slipped from her eyes and glided down her cheeks as Alice felt the pain of the loss all over again. She could not let that happen. Aithe had to live, he had to survive this illness. She knew, if he did not get better soon, she was going to have to do something else, even if it meant she needed to drag him to the creek by herself and rinse him off.
“Alice, Alice, are you alright?” He mumbled again.
“Aithe, I am right here.” She whispered, brushing his hair. His eyes fluttered open before closing shut again.
“We cannot let him get us, Alice, we cannot.” Aithe was speaking in fragments and repeating everything. She knew he was talking about her uncle. Though the fear was great within her, she knew it likely existed in large amounts within Aithe as well. Her uncle had been the reason that he was thrown back into a labor camp again. Of course, he feared for both their safety.
“We will not let him get us. We are safe, Aithe.” She tried to calm his heart and mind, but she knew not if it worked. Aithe seemed to calm down upon hearing these words. He pulled the quilt up and fell into a silent sleep. Alice, too, closed her eyes, hoping to rest a while.
As the sun started to rise into the sky, Alice awoke to a soft light streaming in through the cracks in the roof. She jumped up and looked at Aithe. He was breathing thankfully, but deep in his sleep. She moved her hand to his forehead. Aithe was still burning hot.
He wasn't getting any better.
“Alice, Alice,” he cried out for her again but in a whisper. She knew then she needed to make a choice. Aithe was not getting better, and there was nothing she could do for him in the cabin… she needed to think.
The last time she and Aithe had spoken about his family in Cadney, he had mentioned his aunt and mother. The two of them had apparently served as healers for the clan at various points in their lives. Now, they only did small healing tasks in addition to helping care for various babes in the clan. Alice knew nothing of the healing arts. So, she made the decision there and then to go to Cadney alone. If she could find it, she could reach his mother or his aunt and bring one of them with a carriage to save him. They would bring herbs to help him right away. Alice stopped pacing and moved over to the satchel. She took out all of the provisions and began dividing them up. She had to leave some for Aithe so he could feed himself. Easy to eat things, mainly bread and some cheese. But she needed to take food for herself as well. It would be a short journey, but a journey alone nonetheless, one that few women would make on their own by foot.
She looked over at Aithe and could see how he suffered. She worried that if she waited, there would be a chance that he would not get well at all. He needed a healer. The journey had severely weakened him, making it difficult for his body to rid itself of the illness.
Alice got to work, searching the cabin for anything she might need on her journey. In one corner, she found a small cupboard. Inside was a hand knife she could easily carry. Though she had never been in hand combat, she felt safer having a weapon on her person. She hoped, however, that she would not have use of it. Alice put the blade in the satchel, along with a few coins she had found in the cupboard. She looked at Aithe. Would the clan believe she was with him? Would they believe they were married? She knew she needed to take something of his to prove to them she could be trusted.
Alice moved to Aithe’s side and gently pulled away the quilt. She looked at Aithe, curled like a child. He wore a small ring on a chain around his neck, It had been his mother's he had once told her and should be enough to convince them of her story.
Alice double-checked that everything she needed was in the satchel and grabbed a small scarf to keep herself warm. She hoped, if she moved quickly enough and slept very little, she would make the journey in a day.
Once she had everything ready, she kneeled next to the bed Aithe rested on.
“Aithe, Aithe, can you hear me?” She whispered before raising the volume of her voice to wake him. He stirred and opened his eyes briefly.
“Alice, I worry I am nae well one bit.” He said in a weak voice.
“I know Aithe. That is why I woke you. I don't think we can wait here any longer. I must leave you and go to Cadney and find your mother or aunt. You need a healer. I cannot lose you again, Aithe.” She ran her fingers along his cheekbones. Aithe grabbed her hand.
“Please, Alice. Dinnae go. Ye cannae go alone. I will go. I will make the journey.” Even as he said the words, Alice could see it weakened him.
“Aithe, you cannot. You collapsed, moving only inches yesterday. I must go. I will not let you stop me.” Aithe let out a sigh. He turned his face in towards the small pillow and shook his head.
“I ken Alice. I am nae strong enough tae go. Ye are right. I was meant tae protect ye, and here ye are havin’ tae save me.”
“I will, Aithe, I promise you I will. But it is time I go. I need to travel by day as best as I can.” Alice stood and swung the satchel around her body. She tied the scarf around the bag. Based on the warmth within the cabin, she could tell it was relatively warm outside, thankfully. It would be a good day for her to travel. But she needed to leave quickly.
She looked at Aithe, and her heart ached. She didn’t want to leave him. She was afraid of what would happen when she left. What if he grew more ill while she was gone? That fear she would have to carry on her journey. But she would use it as best as she could as motivation. It would push herself to move faster.
“I am going to leave now, Aithe.” She felt her eyes become heavy with tears. “I must go before I lose more day hours.”
“Alright, Alice. I will be here. When ye get tae Cadney, ye need tae find Gavin right away. Ye hear me? He is the only one ye can talk tae and trust. He is me Da and he will tell ye who ye can trust.” He clutched his chest as he spoke, weakened by each word that slipped from his mouth.
“I will, Aithe. I will find them, and I will bring them to you.” Alice grabbed the provisions she left for him and set them just under the bed. “I have left your food and some water in a glass. They are just under the bed. Please, try to take small bites and sips as you can. I left more water in the pot as well.”
Alice turned to leave then. “Goodbye, Aithe, until I return.” She walked straight towards the door and turned the knob. But Alice couldn’t leave. She was overcome with a deep fear and worry, she had to do one final thing. Alice turned and rushed to Aithe, covering every inch of his face in kisses, and he weakly smiled.
“You cannot die, Aithe, do you hear me. I will not lose you all over again.”
“Alice, I will live even if only fer ye.” He mumbled. Aithe reached up and brushed his finger across her cheek. Alice felt the tears fall quicker than she wanted. She couldn’t hold them in, terrified of what could happen. But there was no use waiting around. She needed to take this risk.
“I will be back.” Alice knew then that she could not turn back and walking quickly- left the cabin, closing the door behind her.
The journey to Cadney would be a long one. Alice and Aithe had talked a few times of how to get there. From what she knew, the creek ran straight towards the outskirts of Cadney. If she followed it, she would be able to get there. The only issue was, she did not know precisely how far it was. And though it was easy to follow the creek, it was difficult to follow it while staying out of any open areas. She still couldn’t be sure her uncle wasn’t around the corner. She would need to trust herself and follow the creek mostly by sound, stopping near it only from time to time.
Alice pushed forward, the cabin growing small behind her. She refused to look back, focusing only on where she was going.
The first few hours of her journey were the hardest. Knowing she was within a close distance to the cabin made it difficult not to turn around again. Alice had to keep reminding herself that Aithe needed a healer, not a woman who only vaguely knew of a few healing herbs. She promised herself she would learn more as soon as they arrived at Cadney. Because she told herself, they had to make it to Cadney, together.
But after those first few hours, she was more determined. As the terrain changed, and she faced more rocky ground, she tackled it with ease. The determination to save Aithe was giving her more strength than she thought possible. And she walked on and on, not stopping save for a few breaks to gather a bit of water from the creek. Alice had no canteen to carry water, so she needed to stop to drink, but she tried to minimize her breaks.
Finally, as the sun was beginning to lower from the skies, she stopped to eat a bit of the dried meat. She chewed it quickly, however, driven to return to her journey. She planned to travel until it was too dark. At that point, she would settle in near a tree and hope she could rest a while. Once the early hours of dawn peeked through, she would begin walking again. She did not know how to start a fire in the wild, so she would need to keep herself warm with only the shawl. But Alice believed in herself.
* * *
Two days had passed, and Alice was growing more and more weary with the journey. She did not know how much longer she had to travel, but she followed the creek with the utmost faith. She had hoped to reach Cadney sooner, but she couldn’t have pushed herself to move any faster than she was.
Alice paused to rest for a few minutes. She checked her provisions and saw she was nearly out of salted meats. After this small break, she would have no more. She still had a piece of bread and one piece of cheese, but she hoped the journey would not take more than another day because she wasn’t sure what she would do without food. She wished then, desperately, that she would have learned more skills than merely sewing, embroidery, and basic cooking. Her family had trained her to be an outstanding wife, but not at all how to care for herself in the worst of scenarios.
As Alice sat by the creek, watching the water move, she thought of Aithe. She did not know if he would make it on his own. What if he needed more water. Would he survive? Tears fell from her eyes; without realizing, she had started crying. Poor Aithe, he must be terribly frightened, Alice thought to herself as she imagined him alone in the cabin. She could only hope no one had found him who would bring him harm.
Alice let the salted meat moisten as she held it in her mouth. It made it easier to chew. She swallowed bits of it and willed the food to give her the energy she needed to continue without rest. The sun was lowering in the sky, and she only had a short time longer before it became night.
Once the meat was consumed, Alice bent towards the water and cupped her hands, picking up small amounts and bringing it to her mouth. She took her fill of the water and once satisfied, slung the satchel over her body again and continued forward.
* * *
The sun was beginning to set, and Alice was worried it would be another day before she reached Cadney. Then, as she approached the creek for a drink of water, she heard a noise… the unfamiliar sound of bagpipes in the distance. The music gave Alice a much-needed boost. She rushed forward, following the path along the creek without a care who might see her. She could see the space between the trees start to widen, not too far ahead. She moved in that direction, the sound of the bagpipes growing louder.
Alice ran with all of her strength until the patch of trees opened up into an expanse of small, green hills. Alice lifted her head and gazed up at one of the most magnificent structures she had ever seen. The stone castle towered in front of tall hills, nearly the size of small mountains. In front of the castle, the creek flowed freely into, what she knew could only be Cadney.
Alice ran forward towards the castle. Her heart raced as she pushed her body forward. She would not rest until she found Gavin, Aithe’s father. She hoped they would send someone to help him immediately. Alice knew she was his only hope of survival.
Chapter Twenty-Four
MacGille Keep, Cadney Lake, Scotland 1726
Amelia knelt in the garden just outside the kitchen of the MacGille keep. She wiped the sweat from her brow as she looked toward the loch and took a moment to appreciate the late day sun. It was rare for this time of year, usually cold and dreary as fall set in. The years had been kind to Amelia, but she still felt the dull ache in her bones when the weather turned. Days like this with not a hint of rain in the air, and the sun out offered her some relief. Wherever Aithe was, Amelia hoped he was able to see the beautiful sunset and remember his home.
“Och, lass, one of the kitchen maids could harvest th’ late potatoes,” Gavin said, coming upon her. She lifted a hand to shield the light and to get a better look at her husband. He was a fine-looking man and had only gotten more handsome with age. She briefly wondered why men aged so beautifully, yet she was beset with lines and spots.
“Ye ken, I don’t like tae see ye work so hard.” He knelt and joined her in the dirt, planting a light kiss on her forehead as he did so. Amelia smiled, warm butterflies settling into her stomach. Even after all these years, Gavin could start her desire like no other.
“I know, but I like to garden. It brings me some measure of peace,” she replied.
“More like ye like tae be facing th’ gate in case he comes home. It’s been six years, lass.” His voice grew deep, and Amelia knew he felt the loss as acutely as she did. “I dinnae think our Aithe is going tae come home.”
“You have no faith, Gavin, he will be home. I feel it in my bones.”
“Lass, I wish I had th’ faith ye have, but it’s been six long years since he left.”
Amelia knew it had been six years, and every time Gavin brought up time, she pushed down the anger and hurt she felt. Her boy, her sweet Aithe, grew into a man, a mighty warrior. He had been gone so long, sometimes Amelia had to struggle to remember his mannerisms. She fought with her fading memory to remember the way the corner of his mouth would turn up in delight when one of his brothers or sisters made him laugh. She would lay in bed at night and force herself to think of the way his one blond curl would fall out of place into his emerald green eyes. Aithe was the best of both her and Gavin. He was tall like his father, but blond and sweet like his mother. He had his father’s piercing green stare and his mother’s natural inclination toward herbs and plants. She missed him in the way only a mother could miss a child. Yet she knew he was alive. She knew it as she knew she would take her next breath. Her son still walked tall on this earth.
“Gavin, do you remember all those years ago when everyone had given up on you. How can you ask me to do it for our son?”
“Aye, lass,” he replied, his tone one of resignation and nostalgia. “I remember.”
“And Milly did not give up on you? She knew you were alive. Sh
e fought anyone who said otherwise until she found you, yet you would give up on our son so easily?”
“I ken, lass, I ken. I dinnae want to think of th’ lad as gone. I want to run out an’ find him, just as my Da would’ve for me. But I have tae think of how things in our world hae changed. I’m needed here, the new clan needs a leader. And I just cannae stand tae see ye in so much pain.” Amelia rested her hand on Gavin’s arm.
“I know, Gavin. But he is my son, our son. Our firstborn. He is as strong and as brave as his father. I know in my heart he will come home. It doesn’t pain me like you think. I have faith.”
* * *
The evening meal was set at the long table in the keep. The MacGille keep was small as their clan had not yet grown to a large size. It would take years, possibly generations before a keep would need to be erected with a great hall anywhere near in proportion to Lucas’ or even Nathan’s. But this one suited Gavin just fine. They had taken in wayward highlanders and their families off and on over the years. As the Jacobites failed, and the English declared highland clans the enemy of the crown, times had gotten hard. Whole clans with generations long lineages fell into abandon, and Gavin and Amelia saw it as their duty to bring any wayward soul into their own.
