It was gone midnight when they finally turned in, tomorrow was a big day. Tomorrow was the day when he could lay all his demons to rest and start the rest of his life. It had been on hold for long enough, he was sorry for Emily, she was just unlucky and in the wrong place at the wrong time. In another life or another dimension maybe things could be different for them, but until he sorted out his past he couldn’t carry on with his future. As he laid there in his bed, the covers screwed up at the base, the heat in the room was unbearable. He wondered what Emily was doing in the next room, he hoped she was asleep and having a pleasant dream. She deserved to have one last night of peaceful dreams.
He felt the sweat drip from his brow onto his pillow, he needed to get some sleep for his big day but the heat was smothering him. He must have drifted off around two, because he didn’t wake until gone nine. He was annoyed at himself as he’d hoped to get an early start.
THIRTY
Chapter 11
Saturday July 3rd 1993
I am going to tell you about Amy Cooper and her last day alive. Not that she knew it was going to be her last day, I am certain that if she had she would have done things considerably different. I have said previously it was the third day of July nineteen ninety three, a day I will never forget and a day Amy would wish she could have done over. But before we get to Amy I had to enlist the help of Emily, I’m not certain that was her real name, something about it didn’t ring true for me. It just didn’t seem to fit with who she was if you know what I mean.
We got off to a later start than I planned and the first thing I had to do even before Emily woke was to get my bag ready for the evening’s event. It was a back pack style affair in grey with a yellow trim; various compartments to secrete the numerous items I would need. It took me quite a while to decide whether to use any form of restraint. I weighed up the pros and the cons but in the end I decided to leave it to fate, if she overpowered me and got away then she deserved to be free. I must have checked my bag half a dozen times before I was satisfied. The room would be available from two o’clock which gave me a very small window to accomplish a lot, I had told Amy that her chalet would be available from three, so I had an hour for Emily to get the key, and for me to take her back to my flat before I returned to greet my guest. My plan for Emily would be a bit rushed but it needed to be done today.
It was nine-thirty when Emily got up; I made her a breakfast and then explained the plan for the day. I asked her if she would be willing to run a few errands for me and she seemed more than happy to oblige. All but one of the jobs I requested of her was bogus; they were meaningless tasks that would allow me to think about the itinerary for the evening.
I watched her as she sat on the bar stool opposite me at the breakfast bar, she was wearing one of my t-shirts and not a lot else. If things had been different I might have gone there, but I couldn’t take the risk. Any form of intimacy could jeopardise my plan. I had to admit watching her eating her toast, the way her eyes closed with each swallow and the obvious protrusions at the front of the t-shirt did make me hard. I wasn’t sure if what I was feeling was for her or the thought of Amy and what may materialise later that evening. Don’t get me wrong Emily was beautiful but wasn’t in the same stratosphere as Amy.
“So have you done me a list of my jobs?” She asked and I remember how guilty I felt at such an innocent question. I knew I was lying to her, using her. Deep down I knew she deserved better, part of me wished I could have taken her to the dunes and put her back where I found her and forgotten ever having met her. But things were too close to back out now, Emily’s fate was sealed just as it was for Amy. As it happened I had made her a list, it was bogus like most things on it; the true task was the last one. To go to the reception of the Belle Vista chalet park at two o’clock and then meet me outside the laundrette opposite the entrance to the park. I didn’t want to be seen in the park until it was time; the last thing I wanted was for someone to remember me loitering. No I would be sat in the café next to the aforementioned establishment enjoying an Americano and maybe a Danish-I was going to need all the strength I could muster.
We ate the rest of our meal in silence and then she went and got dressed. I wish I could say that when she returned all carnal thoughts had vanished, but they hadn’t. How could they when she was wearing the summer dress I bought her minus underwear. How was a man supposed to concentrate when confronted by such things, I did wonder if it was a test. A test to try to dissuade me from completing my revenge of Amy Cooper. Nothing could detract me from my mission though.
At eleven o’clock we ventured out of the house, Emily with her list in her hand and me with my back-pack. I drove to the seafront in Hemsby where I parked in a pay and display, my car was a dark blue Ford Fiesta–a heap of junk to be honest, about ten years old. It didn’t draw attention to itself which I was glad about, but just to be safe I parked in the middle of a row not too far from the entrance and not too close to the back–and I paid for the whole day. In my experience people reported cars that were left at the rear of car parks for hours on end, they never noticed ones in the middle for some reason.
With the car locked I sent Emily on her errands, if I had compiled the list right she would be ready to pick the key up around one thirty meaning she would have to hang about until two. This was intentional, I wanted Emily to be remembered by people. When the police started asking questions it would be her they would remember and not me, I would be nowhere near the park until I absolutely had to be. Even then my time on the park would be minimal, I’d planned the quickest route from the entrance to the chalet. I figured I would be visible on the park for about one minute thirty seconds, and then the same again when I left which hopefully would be after dark.
I left my back-pack in the boot of the car while I went for a wander along the beach, I’d taken one small packet from my bag which I had stuffed in my pocket. This packet had been a stroke of luck, I’d relieved someone of it only a few days before and it had offered a solution to a problem I was going to have. I’d chosen my most non-descript clothes for the day, a pair of faded jeans and a white t-shirt, I was one of a hundred others in similar outfits. The t-shirt was plain; I didn’t want any clever or memorable slogan that people could remember.
As I made my way along beach road the sights and sounds bombarded me from the arcades, how anybody could stand and play the mindless games was a mystery. If you are going to put your money in a machine for the sheer fun of it why not just chuck it in the bin and save your sanity. I watched as moron after moron pushed coins into the little slots and the sheer glee on their faces just confused me.
I approached the end and the sharp right hand bend, I turned left onto the large open car park nestled behind the dunes. The area was a mix of grass, sand and bare dirt where over the years cars had made makeshift spaces. The sun was hot even for July, and I felt the sweat bead on the back of my neck. The seagulls circled overhead hoping for a careless holidaymaker to leave some food unattended. Though they weren’t shy on the coast, they’d been known to swoop and take food straight from the hand.
I walked until I found what I was looking for, a handrail and some roughly hewn steps up the steep dune. I climbed until I reached the top where the expanse of the North Sea opened up in front of me. Once at the top I walked along until I came to the spot I wanted, a cursory glance along the beach both ways revealed that I was alone. With the exception of a man playing with his dog maybe a quarter of a mile down the beach I had the stretch to myself. I made my way to the dip in which I found Emily and sat where she had once sat. I could understand why she had made this her home, the deep dip allowed for protection from the night air and when laying she would be completely hidden from the rest of the world.
I looked around at the area, it was maybe an eight feet diameter space, not quite circular as it had an odd offshoot towards the front left where it looked like someone had previously had a fire. The scorched earth still had the remnants of half burnt twigs and the
smell of damp ash. I wondered if maybe Emily had cooked meals here, or just made a fire to keep warm, but that didn’t ring true. She was trying to stay invisible so there would be no way she would start a fire and risk someone reporting it or coming to question her. Also hidden under a wild gorse bush next to it were hundreds of bottles and cans, it was amongst these that I hid the package I’d been carrying. In the bag was an old tobacco tin in a puce green colour and the words ‘Golden Virginia’ just legible, years of abuse had scratched off most of the design.
With my package now hidden it was a welcome relief, the last thing I needed was to be caught with that particular item on me. I moved away from the dip and went down the dune to the beach. The man and his dog had vanished and I was truly alone now on the stretch of sand. I remember it like it was yesterday as I sat there on the sand, my trainers beside me with socks neatly tucked in them. I buried my feet in the sand and rested back on my elbows with my face pointed to the sun and my eyes closed. I listened to the sound of the surf gently lapping at the shore, the distant sound of the arcades still drifted to me. Kids screaming and having fun just about penetrated over the dunes unfortunately, but I managed to tune most of it out.
As I pondered the events unfolding later I began to have doubts. Doubts about everything. Did I really want to take Amy out of my life forever? Should I just get in my car and forget everything and start again? Did Emily deserve to be punished for doing nothing wrong? Every time I thought about just leaving and never coming back images would start playing in my head. It was as if a movie reel was on a constant loop in my brain, one I couldn’t stop no matter how hard I tried. The movie in its entirety was no longer than twenty seconds, though it lasted an eternity.
His face haunted my every sleeping moment, the smug look and casual disregard he had for the girl beneath him turned my stomach. She was oblivious to it but was also a willing participant. I wish I could conjure up a scenario where she was a victim, where he had taken advantage or worse still forced himself on her. But I couldn’t. It would have been easier if he had raped her. But for the twenty seconds I stood at that door there was no denying that she was not only taking part but a more than eager partner. The sounds of her moans, the way her body responded to his, the way she urged him deeper and faster. No, there was no possibility that she had not been a part of the union. She was as guilty as he was.
I opened my eyes as a shadow passed before me, less than six feet from where I sat a young couple sauntered past hand in hand, they appeared not to even notice me which I was grateful for. I watched them as they carried on up the beach and every now and then they would stop and face each other for a lingering kiss. I went back to my own thoughts and closed my eyes once more, only this time my mind was made up, the evening would go as planned. So now I just lay there and pictured my life as it was going to be post Amy. As much as I loved her I knew I could love another, maybe not the same–no one could replace Amy Cooper-but maybe enough to make a happy life.
It was also during this time of self-reflection that I had decided to write my book. I didn’t know when but I knew that one day I would sit down and put pencil to paper to document just why Amy Cooper had to die, and die in the manner in which she did. I don’t expect sympathy from it or forgiveness, just understanding. Many people will never love the way I loved Amy and therefore will never grasp the concept of eternal love. Those who do however will be sitting thinking ‘Yes I get where he is coming from’ and they are the ones who will get the most from my book. If you are sitting there thinking that this guy is a lunatic and should be in a mental asylum I can assure you that you’re wrong. In fact I feel sorry for you, that you have never been that deeply in love tells me that you must be a very sad and lonely person. Yes you might have a wife, family and lots of money but if you can honestly say that you would not have done what I did if you couldn’t be with the one you love then what you have isn’t love. And I pity you.
THIRTY ONE
Saturday 3rd July 1993
It was five past two when Emily emerged from the park and went over to Pinky’s table outside the café. He still couldn’t believe how beautiful she was, in the sunlight her features were accentuated and he couldn’t believe he was about to do what he was. But unfortunately for Emily this just wasn’t her time, in another life he would definitely have been interested in her. If he had more time he would let her go and find himself another accomplice but needs dictated his schedule.
“Here’s the key.” She said handing him the overly large wooden key fob.
“Thanks, here I got you a lunch to go. I thought we could go down to the beach for a walk. As long as you’re okay walking and eating?” He handed her the takeaway bag.
“That would be nice.” She said taking the proffered bag from him and digging out the paper wrapped cheeseburger. She took a mouthful before speaking. “So is that all the chores done for the day?”
“Yes, that is our work done, well until his evening anyway. Would you like to come with me tonight to the event? I can’t say it will be riveting but there will be food and drink and a chance for me to introduce you to my boss. I can make the introduction and we can see if we can get you an interview. What do you think?”
“Really!” She said between mouthfuls of food and a swig of the large thick chocolate milkshake he’d bought her.
“Why not, I think it would be good if we could get you back on your feet again.” They passed Caesar’s Palace on the right, the music blared from large speakers situated just inside the door. Meatloaf and ‘Bat out of hell’ never did it for Pinky, he was more of a love song guy. They walked past a number of other arcades each peddling their own kind of fun and games, the bright lights and the incessant jingles from the machines all that was needed to entice youngsters in and part them from their parents hard earned cash. He let her eat her dinner in peace as they carried on walking. He wanted her to enjoy this meal more than anything else in the world. He watched as she took the last mouthful and last dregs as she slurped at her drink before chucking the wrappers in the bin.
He guided her through the car park at the end of the road, the same route he had taken not too long ago. They reached the steps up in to the dunes and he held back to let her go first, it wasn’t chivalry it was that he wanted to watch as she walked up the steps. The sight of her bare legs up to the hem of the dress and his imagination worked wonders as to what lay beyond was enough to get him hard and once more the doubts began to creep in.
They walked along until he came to a stop. She looked at the dip and recognised it instantly. “Why have we come here?” She said, unease in her voice.
“I thought it would be nice to come back to where we met and to look forward to the future–your future. Let’s sit for a while.”
“Okay.” She said sitting on his right, She said with her arms around her knees, huddled like it was cold but the temperature was in the eighties.
“So tell me your real story, you know you are safe with me don’t you?” He said, his eyes were focused on the pile of old bottles and cans to his left. He wanted to know her story.
“I think so. My story isn’t so different from other girls.” She began looking out to sea, Pinky noticed that as she spoke she appeared to drift off somewhere, almost to another world, a world that she had run from, a place that she would never stop running from. “I lived with my mum, my dad left before I was born and things were good. My mum gave me as much as she could, not that we had much but there was always plenty of love to go around. Things changed when I was twelve, my mum lost her job at the hotel where she worked, it was cutbacks they said. Although she wasn’t out of work for more than a few days it was her next job that became the problem. My mum is beautiful, I don’t just mean she was attractive she could have been a model if things had been different.
Her new job was working as a hostess in a club, I don’t really know what sort of a club it was but her boss was a complete bastard. She never told me what he did but I would hear her cry her
self to sleep at night when she arrived home in the early hours of the morning. For weeks I listened then one night she returned home with her boss and they were all over each other. I figured whatever he had been making her do for him she decided it was easier to go along with it. It was gone midnight that night and I’d been watching ‘Dawn of the Dead’ I was wearing ‘My Little Pony’ pj’s, they ambled through the door like they were Siamese twins. His hand was up her short tight top and had her breast in his hand, the other he had planted on her arse. His tongue was shoved so far down her throat he was almost suffocating her. And then he saw me. My mum was pissed out of her head and as soon as he disconnected himself from her she slumped to the ground in a heap. He looked at me and I could see in his eyes that he was going to be trouble. After he’d looked me up and down he grabbed my wrist and said we should go upstairs for a bit of fun. His breath stank of cigarettes and whiskey. I pulled away from him but he just pulled my hair and dragged me up to my bedroom, I remembered he commented on my pink striped wallpaper. Lucky for me he couldn’t get it up that night, but he made me suck it in the hope he could. Eventually he fell asleep, that was just the first time. I was thirteen. He raped me countless times over two years. I left last week after I hit him with a cast iron frying pan.” The last sentence made her burst out laughing, it was a strange sound mixed with the gentle sobs that had accompanied most of the narrative.
He put his right arm around her shoulder and pulled her to him, he felt her body shake against his own. For a girl her age she had gone through far more than she should ever have to. He hesitated for a moment as he used his left hand to grab something from out of the debris beside him. He knew exactly the right place as he’d placed the object there a short while ago. He was glad that this would be the last thing she saw, a group of seals played a short way from the beach. “Look at the seals Emily.” He said.
Amy Cooper Forever Page 16
