by Zach Sweets
I couldn't sleep for a minute or two, but he reached out and pulled me closer to him. I fell asleep to the soothing rhythm of his heartbeat.
Six
May 2
A First Zombie in Sight
I woke up feeling cold and Rex wasn't by me anymore. I couldn't believe the previous night had even happened and it was amazing. I was still reeling from it. I went in search of Rex and found him sitting on the edge of the roof.
"Rex? You okay?" I walked toward him.
"Yeah, I was just thinking."
"Can I join you?"
"Yeah, come on over."
I sat next to him and looked at the street for a while. After what happened last night I needed confirmation of what it meant. My heart was too fragile to build another emotional attachment that would fall apart.
"We need to talk." We spoke simultaneously.
Rex chuckled, "Yeah, you go first, I insist."
"Okay, first of all, last night…what was it?"
"It was nothing. I'm not gay. It was due to the drinking." He didn't even look at me when he said it.
"Sure, blame the drinks, all drunks do. Seriously, what was it? It's just the two of us; you have nothing to be embarrassed about."
"I don't know, all right? It just happened before I could stop myself," he grumbled.
I felt nauseous.
"Okay, lie to yourself all you want. Just don't toy with my emotions. You know this is a fucked up situation, and there's nowhere for me to go." I got up and started to clean up the bottles we drank last night to give myself something to do, something else to focus on.
"Please understand, Jake. I loved a woman, not a man. Last night was pure lust. I needed body contact, some human warmth. Nothing more."
"I wanted that, too, Rex. That's why I asked you to hold me until I fell asleep. You didn't have to do even that, let alone kiss me or anything else."
Rex reached out to touch me but I shrugged him off. "Just don't." I continued cleaning the place up, but it wasn't enough. I needed to be alone. Badly. More than that, I needed to get away from him.
"I'm going to go look around." He started to follow me and I stopped him with an upraised hand. "Alone."
"But Jake, it isn't exactly safe to travel alone."
"You let me go out yesterday by myself…just, ugh, I don't understand you." I was at the stairs before he had a chance to answer me.
I wandered the area, feeling lost in more than a geographic way. What was Rex thinking? I'd been hurt and he decided to make a move last night? Closure, sure, I wanted it too, but more than a hug? I didn't understand.
It was a long day, but I refused to go back to Rex. I wanted to be alone for as long as I could.
The town was small; probably less than a thousand people had called it home. Of course, there were no people now, other than the two of us. The downtown area, if you could call it that, was the grocery store I had been to, a few bars, and a shop or two. That's it.
It was really strange that I still hadn't seen a single zombie. If everyone had been infected or died around here, there should be at least one of those filthy things hanging around. Something fishy was going on here and I didn't like it. Things were weird enough as is.
Everything was quiet except for the wind whistling and the clinking of a wind chime. It slowly creeped me out. I kept expecting someone, or something, to pop out of the nearest house. I'd watched way too many horror films.
I screamed shrilly when I felt a tap on my shoulder.
"Whoa! Hey, it's just me, Rex."
"Fuck, you scared me to death. Don't sneak up on me like that." I held my hand over my heart, which felt like it was pounding out of my chest. My luck, I'd have a heart attack before I even got eaten by a zombie.
"Sorry, didn't mean to. You've been gone all day; I was worried."
"I'm fine," I snapped. He treated me like a throwaway toy and now he's worried? As I caught my breath, I brought up something more serious. "Tell me one thing—did you notice that we haven't encountered any zombies around here since yesterday afternoon? Everyone is gone, and yet we haven't spotted one dead-walker?"
Rex scratched the back of his head like he always did whenever he was thinking.
"Let's go. I'm getting a weird vibe about this place. It's getting late and we might as well get back to the warehouse. "I tugged his arm. Gradually, Rex followed me, distracted, with his mind a million miles away.
As we made our way back, I saw a two-story house with access to the roof. Being on the roof, for some reason, just felt safer. The house looked to be more secure than the warehouse we had been staying at. "Hey, what do you think of this place? It looks more comfortable and safer than the warehouse," I said before I noticed his eyes were wide, staring out into the distance.
"Rex?" I waved a hand in front of his face to get his attention. "Come back to Earth, Rex."
"Uh, over there," he muttered and I turned my head to see what he was pointing at.
A man approached us dressed in a somber, black suit. As he got closer, I noticed his thinning white hair and he had the oddest skin tone. It was a nearly bruised looking purple around his eyes, which were also strange, with dark red-orange irises. Even at a distance, I could see thick red lines in his sclera and his pupils weren't visible at all. As I looked him over, I also saw that his hands and mouth were covered in blackish dried blood.
The weirdest part, though, was how he moved. He lurched along, slowly, as if pulling a heavy load behind him. I noticed his oddly bent right foot from which a little of his anklebone poked through the flesh. He didn't make a sound. That in itself was disconcerting.
An adrenaline rush took over and I pushed Rex, heading for the house. It took him a while to realize that the zombie was getting closer and he panicked. "Shit, run!" We got to the house before that thing could touch us.
The dead-walker banged on the door repeatedly, slowly and without much force. This one moved and sounded different than the ones we'd been facing since Delaware.
We looked around wildly for something to block the windows then realized it wasn't necessary. Iron bars covered all the windows. Then I noticed the door had several bolts. What the hell kind of a house was this? Part fortress, part residence, it seemed. I wondered about the people who lived here.
We ignored the slow thuds at the door and started to survey the building.
"Jake, check the basement and I'll do upstairs." Rex took off before I could make the comment that I didn't want to check the basement.
Get a grip, if the zombies were down there, they'd have come up already. My heart beat as fast as a hummingbird's wings. Every step felt like I was walking through a hundred pounds of lead. I kept my hand on the wall, searching for the switches until I found them right at the top step of the stairs. I flipped the light switch, but the lights only flickered. I started to hear horror movie theme-music playing inside my head.
You can do it, I repeatedly told myself as I took each step down. At last, I reached the bottom of the stairs, only to discover there was nothing really to inspect, and I certainly didn't see anything dangerous. A pool table, a couch, some chairs, and a bar with stools. Apparently, I imagined way too much.
At my far left, there was a closed door and I got nervous all over again, afraid to see what was behind it. I stood there for a minute, unable to decide whether to just open the damned thing or wait for Rex. Then he came downstairs to let me know the upstairs was clear.
"Same here, other than behind that door." I pointed, curiously embarrassed to admit my reluctance to open it. "I haven't checked."
"Let's check it out together." Rex suggested and I grabbed a pool cue just in case. Looking around, we both noticed the flashlight on the end table. I was already walking to get it when Rex said, "There, grab that flashlight."
I switched it on and walked up behind him. "I'm ready."
Rex pulled out his gun and held it in a defensive stance, then seized the doorknob and twisted it. He pulled the door open s
lowly and I shined the light through the crack.
We both yelled and nearly ran back up the stairs when an avalanche of sports balls fell out right onto us. When we realized what had happened, we started to laugh together. "Those scared the shit out of me." Rex continued laughing.
The house was clear of dead-walkers.
"Got any ideas as to why there were iron bars on the windows?" I wondered out loud.
"No idea, but at least we don't have to worry about the zombies breaking in." He chuckled, but then stopped abruptly.
"What?" I suddenly became alert.
"Have you checked this one out?" He asked and pointed at another door under the stairs.
Aw crap, not another one. "No, I didn't see that one."
Rex chose to be brave, flinging open the door in one swoop. To our relief, it was some sort of wine cellar with maybe fifty bottles.
"See any more mystery doors?" I had enough of being jumpy every second.
He searched the room carefully and said, "Nope. That's it. Let's go back up and see if there's any food. I'm starved. Candy bars weren't enough."
"Wait, where is the rest of our stuff?" I realized he hadn't been toting anything when he found me outside.
"Your backpack? It's still on the roof where we stayed before. We'll get it tomorrow when it's safe, alright?"
"I suppose." I was disappointed and walked back up to the main floor. It was Thomas's backpack. I wished I'd never left it back on top of the warehouse after Rex had made me too furious to think before acting.
I stopped and listened, realizing that the zombie's banging had stopped. "Rex, when you came down, did you hear that thing hammering on the door or had it stopped?"
"I didn't pay attention, but it's stopped now, hasn't it?" He approached the front door, listening. "Yeah, it stopped."
I crept cautiously to the window by the door and looked to see if that thing was still out there. It was nowhere to be seen. "It's not out there either."
"That was strange. We better keep an eye out. There's something different about that zombie. Lately, different is never good." He sounded nervous as he said it.
"Yeah, definitely."
Our stomachs growled simultaneously, breaking the tension of the moment. "Let's find something to eat." Rex chuckled, rubbing his belly.
We got to the kitchen and found plenty of food. Hell, I was surprised that this place still had electricity. Although, the lights flickered and dimmed, so maybe the place had its own power source. We hadn't been in the garage yet, so it could be there.
I flipped open a cabinet and found a box of crackers. Munching on a handful, I headed out the back door to go check out the garage. "Gather the food, I'll check the garage."
Rex nodded and said excitedly, "A lot of it's still good."
I smiled and left the kitchen, headed for the garage. I still had the flashlight with me and switched it on as I opened the door slowly. There was a car parked inside. I studied the place, but didn't see anything out of the ordinary. There was another door that led out to the backyard, and I checked to make sure it was locked.
I peeked through the window and could see a bricked wall surrounding the yard. It seemed secure, so I figured it'd be okay to go and take a look. I stepped out and saw an enormous shed. Betting that the generator was in there, I went in to check it out. I was right; the generator sat in the far corner. I checked the gas in it, disappointed to see there was only a quarter of the tank left. That didn't leave us much time with the electricity.
I went back in the garage and called Rex, who appeared in the doorway, still eating. "What's up? Is there something interesting out here?"
"Yeah, I found a generator out back in the shed but we're low on gas. Did you by chance see car keys hanging somewhere? I want to see if there is any gas in the car."
"Oh, um, let me check." He went back inside and returned with a key ring dangling from his fingers. "Got it."
I took the keys and got in the car to start the engine. Surprisingly, when I looked at the gas gauge it showed a full tank. I yelled, "Whoopee," then asked Rex to find a bucket or something to siphon the gas.
Rex went in the house and brought back a big bucket, and I found two gasoline cans and a small hose in the shed. I pressed the button to open the gas cap door and twisted off the cap. I siphoned some of the gas out of the car the same way I did at the market three days ago.
There was enough to fill all three containers. Hopefully, it would be sufficient to keep the generator running for a few days. We emptied the first can into the generator and the meter showed full, so that left us with two full containers.
"Let's not use the electricity too much if we want to stay here a bit longer. I feel safer inside."
"Yeah, I agree." Rex smiled. "Let's get some sleep. It's late and I'm tired."
We went upstairs and thankfully, there were three bedrooms with queen-sized beds. "After what happened last night, I'd rather sleep alone," I let Rex know, before he could mention anything about the bed arrangements.
Here I was, alone in bed. As soon as I closed my eyes, I was a goner.
Seven
May 11
Rex's Apology
It had been about a week and half since we arrived in the safe house. I loved the feeling of security I got from the place, but I knew we couldn't stay there much longer. We needed to move on and find more survivors.
After the night when we made out up on the roof, things hadn't been the same. There was an uncomfortable distance between us, tension appearing at odd moments. I was okay, but I missed the closeness that had been developing between us up until that point.
Almost every day, I went up on the roof to do some thinking. Some days, I'd see a few zombies wandering, aimless and lost. The zombies looked so skinny. Apparently, they hadn't been able to feast on any humans lately. They all had those disconcerting glowing red eyes and none of them made a sound.
My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Rex's voice.
"Jake? You up there?"
"Yeah, I'm here."
"Can we talk?" The way he sounded, it wasn't good. I wasn't sure I was up for this.
"Yeah, sure. Come on up."
Rex climbed up the access ladder then came over and sat down beside me. He stared out into the distance. His silence was killing me and I had to break it. "Something wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong. It's just that…" He paused briefly. "I miss how we sort of clicked. I feel like we were friends, then I made a huge mistake and it cost us our, I don't know, friendship? I miss it." He tilted his head down, sadness evident on his face.
"Me too, Rex. Me too. I was thinking about that. We've been like strangers these last few days. There's no one else out here, and I'm lonely." I wasn't sure if I should touch him or do nothing. I ended up just barely touching his leg.
He looked at my hand, up to my face, and then back to my hand. He finally took it in his, and I realized he was trembling the slightest bit. For the first time, I saw tears in his eyes. "I was scared. I am not gay. I've never had any feelings or attraction to men, only women."
"But…?" I encouraged him to continue.
"You're different. Whatever happened that night, we did click. I think meeting you was fate. It was meant to happen. I don't know. Hell, I'm not making any sense." He groaned in frustration. "Maybe…I don't know what I'm trying to say anymore."
"I felt the same. That was why I was upset when you said it was nothing." I looked at him with sympathy.
"I'd only known you for a couple of days and I freaked out. When my family died, I shut myself down. Easier to feel nothing than deal with more pain. When I was with you, it opened up a bit, and I didn't know how to react."
"Are you trying to say you're sorry?"
"No. Well, yeah. I did hurt you, didn't I?"
"You did, but you were right. It was too soon to think there were feelings involved." I lay down on my back, looking at the sky. It was clear blue with not a cloud in sight. The sun felt good
on my skin.
Rex did the same but then turned, looking at me. "Is it possible for a straight man to be attracted to another man?"
"Zombies exist, so for me, yeah, anything's possible."
"You love being a smart ass, huh?" He laughed, which assured me that he wasn't serious.
"It's who I am." I grinned. "But seriously, I don't believe people are straight per se. I think you fall in love with the person, not the gender."
"What do you mean?" Rex looked genuinely puzzled.
"Have you ever made an online friend?"
"Sure, who hasn't?" Rex's eyebrows arched.
"People can fake their gender identity online. Suppose you fell in love with this person and you found out he was a male. Would it matter? You fell for his personality, not his appearance. Does that make sense?"
"It does. That's something to think about." Rex looked nervous and confused. "As much as I am scared of being in a relationship with another man, I want to get to know more about you than I have over the last few days." He gazed straight at me and the look in his eyes melted my heart.
"Me too. An important thing you should know about me? My emotions are like a rollercoaster: up one minute, down the next. It can be good and it can be bad."
"That's okay. I'm ready to make our relationship as good as it can be, as if the chaos didn't exist. This whole thing is new to me though."
"I haven't loved anyone, but Thomas since my ex left me. I refused to date because I wanted to be there for Thomas, be the best father I could. I don't know if I'll be able to love anyone again, but I do know for sure that I have feelings for you, beyond that of being a friend." I didn't want to hurt him if I couldn't love again, but thought I should be honest. Everything was too crazy to look for a new love. It was an apocalypse for goodness sake.
"I understand and I don't expect to fall in love. We're facing the end of the world." He chuckled.
