I watch as he leaves and closes the door behind him. Why does his ass have to look so hot in those jeans?
Jasmine giggles, and I turn to face her. “What’s so funny.”
“You’ve got it bad.”
“Um… got what bad?”
Jasmine rolls her eyes at me but is smiling. “You’re checking out his ass, aren’t you? Don’t be shy, Tess, we all do it. That’s one of my favorite things in the morning, watching Quill leave the house dressed in his denim jeans. It’s just so damn hot.”
I smirk, then try to look innocent. “I wasn’t.”
“Don’t lie to me, babe,” she says, getting up off her chair and plonking herself down next to me. “I saw that look.”
“What look?” I ask, feeling my cheeks heat.
“The look, you know what I’m talking about, girl. Don’t try to deny it.”
“Okay, okay,” I say. “Geez, give up already.”
“Oh I will. I’m just happy.”
I frown. “Why? Because I looked at Blaze’s ass?”
Jasmine reaches over and squeezes my arm. “No, silly, because I can see that you still love him. And he loves you—like, crazy-level love.”
I look down at my lap and fidget with the hem of my top.
“Hey, look at me.” I hesitantly look up at Jasmine and paste a fake smile on my face. “You two will work it out. If anyone knows that for sure, it’s me.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because, babe, when I nearly died, when Quill’s old man ordered for me to get kidnapped, I thought I’d never come back from that, but what was worse was when I nearly lost Rose. I thought my life was never going to be the same,” she explains, tears now in her eyes. “But Quill was my knight in shining armor. As much as I wanted to blame him for all the shit that happened to me, I couldn’t, because he was my rock. And as much as being in this club life was to blame for nearly losing Rose, I wouldn’t want it any other way. You know why?”
I shrug. “Why?”
“Because I have Quill, and because he is everything, and no matter what, he will always protect me, because that’s the kind of man he is. He’s loyal, and strong, and God I love him.”
I smile warmly, it’s so beautiful that even after a few years and having a couple of kids, Jasmine still lights up whenever she mentions Quill’s name. That is something special.
“You’re a very lucky girl, Jazz.”
“You are too, don’t you know that?” she says, resting her hand on my shoulder. “Look, I know, okay. I know you feel like you’re to blame because you lied about your past, but God, Tess, who doesn’t? We all have skeletons in the closet, and you did what you thought was right. You wanted to protect yourself and the boys, because you knew if Viper knew where you were, he would find you, and, well, who knows? Things might have got uglier.”
“Uglier? Are you kidding me, Jasmine?” I cry. “How could things have gone worse?” I get up from the couch and pace the floor. “Don’t you get it? If it wasn’t for me, Blaze wouldn’t have had to come to the warehouse that night. And maybe if Viper wasn’t looking for me, then those girls wouldn’t have been kidnapped. And God, that poor girl, Nicky. Did you know that all the men were getting her to do all kinds of sexual things to them. My God, she’s only fifteen.”
I fall to my knees and let it all out, let the tears I’ve been holding in since that night fall. I cry so hard I almost can’t breathe, until Jasmine places her hands on my shoulders and kneels in front of me, hugging me to her. “Oh God, Tess, you can’t blame yourself, this is none of your fault. Those girls being taken was not because of you. Viper was a sick person. He was planning to kidnap those girls even if you weren’t there. Tess, you must know this.”
I pull away and look at her, wanting so badly to believe what she’s saying. “But maybe if Viper wasn’t coming to New York to find me, then he wouldn’t have kidnapped those girls….”
“Tess, don’t you dare doubt that you’re not to blame. You’re a good person, and you have to remember that you were also attacked and sexually assaulted. Please don’t tell me you blame yourself for that, too?”
I don’t answer her because in a way, I do blame myself. Why did I go back? Why did I marry him in the first place? Why wasn’t I strong enough to say no to my father and leave back then? Why? Why? Why?
“I think we need that vodka earlier rather than later.” I laugh, then cover my mouth with my hand.
Jasmine moves my hand aside. “Don’t stop yourself from laughing, let it out, girl.”
I smile and look at my watch; it’s just after eleven. “Well, it’s a little early, but if we add orange juice to the vodka, it could be classified as breakfast.”
Jasmine says, “There’s my girl.”
I make my way back to the kitchen, then come back out with the vodka, along with a bottle of freshly squeezed juice.
Mixing us both a glass, Jasmine says, “Hey, let’s go out tonight, just a girls’ night.”
I glance at her, fear filling me all of a sudden. I take a big gulp of my drink, wincing at the bite of vodka. Jasmine has a heavy hand. “I…. I’m not ready for that, Jasmine. Thanks for the thought.”
I take another sip of my drink, and Jasmine does the same. “Just dinner, and maybe a drink or two,” she teases, her eyebrows dancing. “You know you want to.”
She faces me on the couch and starts poking me, making me giggle. “Stop it, I’m going to drop this.”
“Say you’ll come.”
“Who’s gonna be there?”
“I’ll call the girls. Luisa won’t say no, and I’m sure Charity will come too, especially if it gives her a chance to talk about her wedding.”
I groan. “Shoot, I totally forgot. I’ve been such a bad friend.”
“No, you haven’t, you’ve had shit going on. If you come tonight, you can make it up to her.”
Jasmine waggles her eyebrows again, and I want to laugh, but first…. “And Lu? She must hate me, after I lied to her and ran out of the café. I still haven’t explained why I did that.”
“Don’t worry about Lu, I’m sure she understands. Come on, come with us, let’s let our hair down for a night. God knows I could do with a child-free night.”
This time I do smile at Jasmine. “It does sound like fun.”
“See, I told you,” Jasmine says, leaning in and giving me a quick hug. “Okay, I gotta go tell the girls, I’ll pick you up at eight.” She kisses my cheek and heads to the door, calling over her shoulder, “This is going to be great,” before she opens the door and shuts it behind her.
Oh God. What have I done?
Tess
I straddle the back of Blaze’s bike and wrap my arms around him. This feels so right. There’s no better feeling than being on a bike with a man who sure knows how to ride the hell out of the thing.
Blaze’s hand moves down to my linked ones and taps them. “You ready?” I smile beneath the helmet and nod. He turns and looks over his shoulder, smiling at me. “Let’s do it.”
His right hand comes out strokes down the back of my calf, tugging on it and bringing me in closer to him. It’s most likely to prove to any other biker I’m his woman. God, I love it when he does that.
He takes off down the street, and I hang on even tighter as he speeds up. We travel down the highway for about twenty minutes, until we reach one of our favorite spots and he pulls over and parks. There’s an ice cream truck and other food vans set up next to a beautiful park that overlooks a lake. Swans swim there regularly, and kids are playing while their parents watch on. It’s a beautiful spot, one that always makes me feel happy.
Blaze lifts himself off the bike and then undoes my helmet. He then helps me off the bike, and I take his hand as he leads me to the ice cream truck. “Peppermint?” Blaze asks with a smile, because he knows that’s my favorite.
“You know me so well.”
He smirks and walks up to the van and orders our ice creams. He walks back with them,
peppermint for me and chocolate for him—he can never say no to anything chocolate. He takes my hand as we walk to a nearby bench and take a seat. We sit there for a while in silence as we enjoy our cones, and now and then his hand moves over to stroke down my thigh. I feel goose bumps every time he does it.
“How was your morning with Jasmine?”
“It was actually good,” I reply.
He turns to me, a smile on his lips. His tongue comes out to lick at the ice cream on his lip ring, and he seems oblivious to the fact that I can’t stop myself from watching him devour his treat. But then I see him looking at me as well now and then and feel my cheeks heat up. It’s just plain sexy watching him.
“I could tell it was good by the vodka left on the bench.”
I laugh. “Yeah, well, things got a bit serious when she asked me about… that night, so we decided to have some vodka to brighten up our conversation.”
“Did it work?” he asks, his gaze not moving from mine.
“Yeah, I guess it did. We’re going out tonight,” I add, taking another lick of my ice cream.
His eyebrow raises and he smirks. “You are, huh? You’re going out?”
“Okay, okay, you can wipe that smile off your face.”
If anything, his smirks gets wider. “What, me? I’m not smiling,” he says from behind his ice cream.
I roll my eyes at him. “Relax, it’s just out to dinner, and then to Mike’s bar for a drink.”
“Just you and Jazz?”
“Nope, all the girls.”
This time, both his eyebrows shoot up. “Really?”
“Yes, really. Why are you so surprised?”
“It’s just… I know you were hesitant about talking to Jazz this morning, and I’m just surprised you’re going out with the girls. That’s all. Listen, baby, I’m happy you’re doing it. It will do you good.”
He leans in and wipes away some ice cream from the corner of my mouth with his thumb. His touch burns my skin, and I can still feel his touch when he moves away.
“You are?”
He places his arm around me and moves in closer as he finishes off the last of his ice cream. “Yeah, baby, I am. It’s good for you to get out and have some fun with the girls.”
I look down at my lap, rubbing my hand down my thigh. “Yeah, I know. Plus, Jasmine wouldn’t exactly take no for an answer.”
He laughs then. “I told you she’s stubborn.”
“That she is. Blaze,” I say, feeling a little hesitant.
“Yeah, baby?” He moves some hair out of my face with his finger and I shiver.
“Thank you for being so good to me. You’ve always been there for me. I know I’ve already said this, but I don’t deserve you. I’m so sorry I lied to you. I just didn’t want to lose you, and I didn’t know how to tell you….”
He looks away and stretches his legs out, his gaze on the lake. “I’m sorry too.”
I snap my head toward him. “Sorry for what? You have nothing to be sorry about.”
He turns to me, looking down at his feet and then meeting my eyes. “The night I asked you to leave the clubhouse, something happened between me and Katie.”
I pull away from him and stand up, so pissed off right now. I look down at him, then at my ice cream, now on the ground, ribbons of green melting into the dirt. “You slept with a club whore?” I hiss at him, then shout, “Are you fuckin’ serious?” It feel like all the blood in my body is rushing to my head.
He holds his palms out to me. “Calm down, baby, sit back down.”
I cross my arms over my chest. “I’m not going to calm down. You’re telling me that the same night I left, you slept with someone else.”
“Tess, please just sit down.”
“Oh, it’s Tess now, is it? You finally decide to say my name when it involves a club whore?”
He gets up from the seat, and I step back, my hands out. “Don’t touch me. I can’t believe I was feeling so guilty, when you didn’t take too long to replace me.”
“Will you just listen to me, baby.”
I point my finger at him. “Don’t you dare call me baby. All this time you’ve been sleeping with Katie—the whore who looks like a cheerleader?”
“I didn’t sleep with her,” he growls.
“Oh, I’m sorry, you were fucking her.”
He shakes his head, his hands now on his hips, clearly losing patience. “Fuck!” he grunts. “Listen, I never had sex with her, okay? She just gave me a blow job.”
Tears spring to my eyes. I’m feeling hurt and betrayed, that he let a whore touch him right after we were together. I inhale deeply, trying to calm myself down. I look down at the ground, kicking at an imaginary stone, then look up at him, feeling suddenly exhausted. “I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that you let her touch you, or the fact that you think her giving you a blow job is nothing. You let her lips, her mouth, her hands touch you, and that’s so much more than just sex.” I turn around and walk away, in a rush to get away from him. I can’t bear to look at him right now.
He runs up behind me and places his hand on my shoulder, turning me to face him. “Tess, please,” he begs, desperation in his voice. “It was nothing, I promise you. I was hurt, angry that you lied, and that you were married and never told me.”
I let him speak, and when he’s finally finished with his excuses, I just nod. “Blaze, I need you to let me go.”
His eyes widen and his face goes pale. “Please, baby, don’t leave like this.” He cups my face with his hands. “I love you, goddammit, I won’t let you go. Not after everything we’ve been through.”
I step back and his hands drop to his side. “I need some space right now, to get my head straight.”
He inhales and leans in to kiss me, but I turn my head away, the thought of him right now making me sick. “Please tell me I haven’t lost you over a fuckin’ whore.”
I look him straight in the eye. “You should have thought about that before you let that fuckin’ whore touch you.” I then turn back around and speed walk to the sidewalk, grateful that a cab’s approaching as I get there. I signal for it to stop.
Blaze
What the fuck just happened?
This was supposed to be a good day. A day for us to reconnect. And now? Well, I’m a fuckin’ idiot for thinking that if I came clean about Katie, we could have a fresh start. I never thought she’d react like that, but now I think about it, what did I expect? I’m a fuckin’ asshole for thinking she would be fine with me being with another woman the night she left. Seriously, what was I thinking?
I watch her hail a cab and leave. I can’t lose her, not again, not after everything we’ve been through. I won’t let her check out on me, not ever again.
I make my way to my bike and straddle it, and rather than go to our house, I ride to the clubhouse, giving Tess a chance to calm down. She probably just needs some time out, and I’ll give her that.
I make my way to the clubhouse and park my bike. I notice that a few other bikes are around, and Tate’s standing at the front of the garage with Quill.
“Hey, brother,” I greet them, as I make my way over. Tate turns around and shakes my hand. “What’s brought you down here?”
“Nothin’, man, we were just on a run, thought we’d come here and personally thank you boys for finding Luke’s sister, Amy.”
I nod, then Tate asks, “How’s your woman? She doin’ okay? I’m sorry about what went down with her.”
My chest tightens at the mention of Tess, but I just say, “Appreciate that, man.” Then I change the subject. “So, what run you on?”
He smirks. “You know you don’t wanna hear about that—you know, with your club being all legit and shit.”
I look at Prez, who’s smiling. “Hey, don’t give us shit because we do things our own way.”
“Just remember who got you the guns for what went down at the warehouse.”
I look at Prez. “Is that where all that ammo came from?”
Quill smirks. “Yeah, brother.”
“Please say we’re keeping the guns? After what went down, I think we need to start stocking up, Prez. With all that’s gone on in the last couple of years, I think we need to keep on it.”
Prez eyes me. “That’s exactly why I’ve got Tate here doing business, to get us some more weapons. It’s occurred to me that we need to be protected at all times.”
“Glad to hear it.”
Prez nods, then his eyes turn serious. “How’s Tess doin’?”
“She’s getting there,” I reply, running my hand through my hair.
Quill watches me for a moment and then nods again.
Tate places his hand on my shoulder. “If you need anything, bro, we’re here for you. Amy keeps saying she wants to see Tess, to thank her, you think she’s up for that?”
I smile, ignoring the ache in my chest. “Yeah, man, she talks about them all the time. That would be nice.”
“Well let’s arrange it, then,” he says, slapping my back.
“Cool, I’ll talk to Tess and we’ll sort somethin’ out.”
“I heard the girls are going out tonight,” Prez says, flashing me a grin. “Jasmine’s already got a babysitter.”
“Aren’t you gonna be looking after the kids?” I ask.
“Are you fuckin’ crazy? Four hot-as-hell women going out to a bar without their men? Ain’t happenin’ on my watch.”
“What? You saying you’re going too.”
“Now did I say that?” he says, dropping me a wink. “Let’s just say that Jasmine doesn’t know that we, brother, might be there for a drink too.”
I laugh then. “She’s gonna be pissed, man.”
He smirks. “I don’t mind Jasmine being pissed, just gives me an excuse to make it up to her in bed.”
“Oh, man. I gotta be there to watch her face when she sees you there.”
“You know you’re coming, bro,” he teases; he knows me too well.
“You boys have your balls in your women’s purses, can you hear yourselves right now?”
Tess Property of Blaze: Book #5 in the Blood Brothers MC Series Page 17
