Bat Out of Hell

by Bernadette Franklin

  “I want to say this is not how this works, but when you get involved, this is exactly how it works.” Shaking her head, Naomi flung her hands in the air along with the folder of papers, which scattered. “Fine.”

  Juliette nudged one of the sheets of paper with her toe. “I’m pretty sure you just threw a copy of the employee handbook on the floor. Possibly our standard insurance policy, and maybe a copy of the employee hiring questionnaire?”

  “Accounting is going to come to my office tomorrow, and I’m going to get paddled.”

  My eyes widened. “Paddled?”

  Naomi nodded. “Accounting will tell my husband I couldn’t tell Juliette no again, and he’ll whack me with one of the production rejects, probably a boot. As I’ll deserve it for not telling her no, I’ll just yell at Juliette over the extra paperwork going through Human Resources.”

  “Well, as long as you like it, I guess that’s okay.” I would regret that later. Juliette would recognize my weaknesses and exploit them.

  The women both leered at me.

  “That is shameless and disgusting.”

  Rather than being offended, they laughed.

  “He won’t paddle her. He’ll just be smug and threaten her with it, and then for some reason, they always leave work early.” Juliette shrugged. “It’s such a strange coincidence they always leave early on the days Naomi fails to tell me no.”

  I wondered why. Rolling my eyes, I picked up my painting, regarding the wintry scene. “The other painting is really worth that much? Do you think this one is, too? There were a bunch of prints in the case, too. They could be prints, right?”

  “They’re real. That’s what you’d like, so that’s what he got. It’s a rare thing when people do their best to make someone else happy. The obvious solution is to make you live with him and see how well you get along. He’s a gentleman, and I expect you to be a lady. As such, you’ll have to behave yourself, even if he prances around half-naked in his home. And he’ll have to behave if you prance around half-naked.”

  She had to be talking about the Penthouse Guy. I still didn’t know his name, and he’d already figured me out from top to bottom. No one else made sense.

  I couldn’t even blame the guy; women who valued art as much as I did came few and far between, and if he decided to talk about any one of his pieces, he’d have a captive audience who’d never get bored of him or his art.

  Damn. I should’ve just asked Jonas to pitch that as an offer rather than wait around and hope he’d invite me over for coffee.

  “That’s not how that works,” Naomi muttered.

  “Well, he doesn’t get to admire her in pretty panties until he’s agreed to marry her and set a date. That’s her rule, not mine. I mean, I’d totally suggest she take him for a test drive if it were my business, but it’s not.”

  “I see Clarissa has been notifying the world of my personal preferences.”

  “She can’t tell me no. You should give her some lessons. She could use them.”

  “I’m not paid enough to deal with this.”

  “Yet,” Juliette corrected. “You’re not paid enough to deal with this yet. Go to Naomi’s office. She’ll get you settled. And don’t you worry about this mess on the floor. I’ll clean it up, as I know she has at least ten copies of this blank file at all times. I’m really good at finding fifty reasons someone should be hired, though to be fair to me, you earned all your points on your own.”

  I had? “Will my paintings and the blue box be safe in your office?”

  “No, but they’ll be safe in the vault, and I’ll have everything locked away until you’re ready to leave or someone takes them over to your new home. Yulan? Want to get someone to open it up and register everything, so it’s safe? I promised her some pawnshop time, too. So, call it four hours until we need to pick it up. Ask around if someone would like some overtime to let us in after. I’ll call if there’s an issue or she’s being claimed and won’t be able to fetch everything tonight.”

  I handed my precious painting to Yulan. “Thank you, and I’m sorry for the extra work.”

  “Don’t worry. I’ll have fun with her in a week or two. Every now and then, she needs a reminder that security handles her badge, and it’s fun making her come to the desk to reactivate hers. But we’re nice and do it on days the delay won’t scandalize her much.”

  “I think you just miss me, so you lure me to the front desk.”

  “That is exactly it, Juliette. We miss you because you only visit us when you want to bring a guest into the building,” Yulan replied with a smirk.

  “Fine. You win. You want pizza again, don’t you?”

  “How did you guess we like pizza?”

  “Because for some reason, you cretins guilt me into feeding you pizza at least twice a month. I’ll amuse myself and order you bottomless pits some pizza while Naomi takes care of Lee.”

  I took that as my cue to escape while I could, and I went with Naomi to find out just how crazy Juliette actually was.

  I learned a few eye-opening facts about life in New York City. According to the various living-wage calculators, assuming I shared an apartment with someone, I could survive somewhat comfortably in the area for a mere forty thousand a year. Naomi grinned while I went over the estimated living expenses, speculating how I could make it work on that budget.

  “Lee.”

  I looked up from the printed sheets she’d given me to review about general frugal life in New York City. “What?”

  “You don’t have to make your life work on that budget. There’s exactly no one in this company who makes that little.”

  I frowned, regarding the papers again. “But this is the living wage, isn’t it?”

  Naomi pointed at the rental column. “That’s assuming you have a roommate to help cover the rent for a decent apartment. We calculate our living wage by a single person living alone in one of those apartments, and then we make certain that your rent is no higher than twenty percent of your pay—after taxes. The company covers the entirety of your health insurance, so that will not be a factor.”

  I sucked in a breath. “How does the company even afford to hire so many people when that’s the base pay?”

  “The black dress I was informed would be yours typically costs fifteen thousand dollars, but she picked one from an unreleased line. We have a lot of those; we will release additional lines at slightly lower costs if we are having a slim month. Juliette’s currently working out how to make a line of quality clothing we can sell for an affordable amount—for people like you, not for the rich and famous who want to walk down the red carpet in a custom Carter. Juliette designs those, too. Those are substantially more expensive.”

  “How expensive? Do I want to know?”

  “A minimum of a hundred thousand for the design work, then there’s material, employee expenses, and sales taxes. Juliette also has very specific rules on the type of changes a client may request for a custom outfit. If she’s expected to design jewelry or accessories, she also charges another design fee. If the design can’t be used again and is a true exclusive, the design fee is doubled, and she signs a contract that bars that specific design from being used again. If the design may be used again, it’s exclusive to the client for a period of three years, and then it undergoes minor alterations. Most don’t go exclusive, so Juliette will get to reap the benefits of the dress or suit down the road. Those tend to sell really well, too. It’s usually her best work.”

  “It sounds complicated.”

  “It is. So, I have you flagged for potential design alterations and boutique management.”

  “Like Clifford does?”

  “Not quite; you’d be potentially recruited to manage our actual boutique. It’s invitation-only, and you would work with clients to get a feel for what they need from Juliette. Then Juliette will work with them directly once they’ve been given the introduction. Juliette can be overbearing with the clients, so we try to prepare them for working with her.
It’s a part of the experience. And this part is important: If they like you, and they like your design work, you’ll work with Juliette to create their wardrobe.”

  “Wait. Create their wardrobe? From scratch?”

  “We have clients who want unique clothes, and they’re willing to pay for it. Some of our clients are known to cut a check for several million and ask for new clothes. Juliette will do this for less than her typical custom work if they agree to only six months of exclusivity. Part of your job will be figuring out what the client needs and sifting through the hundreds of test designs Juliette has made to match the outfits with the client. You’ll be challenged. It’s a good job, and it pays well.” Naomi’s eyes widened, and she grinned. “I have an idea.”

  “I have never been so afraid of four words in my entire life.”

  “That’s because you’re smart. I just had a beautiful way to test drive your skills and give Juliette what she wants.” The woman grabbed the phone and stabbed at the buttons. “Juliette, you should invite Lee’s gentleman for a fitting and tell him you’ll do his wardrobe, but he has to work with Lee. If they can survive that, they’ll survive anything.”

  I could clearly hear Juliette’s cackle on the other end of the line.

  “Take over suits and make him try them on for her. You’ll test their chemistry. Bring over some lingerie in her size and watch them both question their boundaries. It’ll be fun.”

  It would? I foresaw disaster and temptation.

  The eligible pool of people crazy enough to buy me anything, especially a painting and prints matching what I liked, consisted of one person. He’d already proven he could tempt me with his mouth and been a shining example of patience even when he’d discovered me in his penthouse with his friend playing games on his entertainment system.

  He’d been at the park, too.

  That left him with a very small window of opportunity to acquire everything, and he would’ve had to do it around his busy life, a life Jonas had implied meant everything to him. Maybe many wouldn’t care, but if it was him, he’d tried to make space in his life for me without me being aware of it.

  People gambled all the time. Sometimes, they lost. Sometimes, they won. Sometimes, they broke even.

  But nobody could win without tossing the dice.

  “All right. I’ll do that.” Naomi hung up. “She’s all in, and she’s hunting for suits that will fit him. She’s going to dress you in a black dress and pretty panties, and she’d appreciate if you didn’t put up a fuss over it.”

  I wouldn’t know if I’d win or lose unless I gambled, and there were worse ways to live life. I couldn’t build something from nothing, but I could take a risk, gamble, and try. And if I did lose, I wouldn’t live the rest of my life wondering what might have happened if I’d only been brave enough to try. “If she’s going to put me in a black dress, then I’m going to need my blue box.”

  Naomi smiled. “Now we’re talking business. Let’s get your paperwork all sorted so you can get on with the rest of your night.”

  Chapter Eleven

  My new salary stunned me into cooperating with Juliette and her gang of minions.

  I doubted anyone had a concrete plan for the evening. Instead of a trip to explore nearby pawnshops, Juliette tested black dress after black dress on me until she declared a floor-length gown with a slit up to my thigh as the winner. When she gave me the choice of heels, boots, or sandals, I picked the sandals as the candidate least likely to murder my feet within five minutes.

  One call summoned a young woman armed with a comb and a bag filled with accessories meant to transform me from a magpie into a black swan. It took her an hour, but she transformed my hair into blooming roses fashioned into a crown, similar to how Jonas had styled my hair for the trip to the park. Juliette declared I didn’t need any makeup, handed me a black purse with red accents that matched my jewelry, and herded me to the lobby.

  The only piece of Tiffany jewelry I didn’t wear was the ring, as it was a little too large. Afraid I’d lose it, it went back into the box, which was locked in Juliette’s office safe so she could retrieve it for resizing later.

  Then she presented a pair of black, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold. “So far, this is the only part of my plan that survived.”

  “I feel my harp and paintings should be going with us.”

  “I’ll have them delivered after you’re settled. You don’t need to seduce him with your harp. You just have to show up.”

  “You’re assuming there will be a seduction.”

  “You look like a billion dollars, and you’re wearing sensible shoes. He may be shy, awkward, and clueless, but honestly, you don’t have to be wearing anything to successfully seduce him.”

  “Seductions tend to require the removal of clothing,” I reminded her.

  “I said that wrong. You don’t have to be wearing anything special to seduce him. You could be in your pajamas and seduce him. You could wear teddy bear footsies and seduce him without having to do more than order him to bed. I have observed him. Of course, you’ll have to crack his shell a bit to get him to talk, but I think you’ll have plenty of common ground to work on. Now, hands in front of you. I have cuffs to apply.”

  “I refuse to be cuffed until we’re close to our destination, but I’ll deal with the humiliation of the blindfold if you feel it’s really necessary.”

  “It’s not necessary, but it would make me happy. It would also let me see his reaction. It should be spectacular. Want me to record it?”

  “No.”

  “But—”

  “No.”

  Our audience laughed, and Yulan returned to his work. “Enjoy your evening, Lee.”

  “You’re next,” I swore.

  “Alas, I am not. I have until February before I must worry about her scheming. There are two full months of opportunities for Juliette to poke her nose in someone else’s business. She’ll start searching for people to put together after two weeks. I’m safe.”

  “For now.”

  “You’re going to fit right in here. Go have a good time and try not to let Juliette do something you’ll regret later,” he advised.

  “Give me the damned blindfold. If I’m going to do this, I’ll do it to myself, at least that way I can accept I’m the one who did this to me.”

  Juliette complied and grinned. “You’re such a good sport.”

  “I’m an idiot, but I’m unfortunately curious about what kind of man would be interested in having you try to marry him off to me.”

  “A smart, wise one. Don’t tell my husband this, but he’s rather handsome, and I’m really looking forward to treating him like a doll. And he’ll let me do it, because I know these suits will fit, and I’ll leave him a discounted—”

  “No,” everyone in the lobby announced.

  “I feel like I’ve missed something,” I muttered, debating if I wanted to wait before putting on the blindfold or getting it over with and accepting my fate. Instead of telling her no and leaving, I slipped the fabric over my eyes and tied it into place.

  Clifford chuckled and patted my arm. “She is too fond of trying to give discounts, and we have to tell her no. We have limited conditions we’ll let her cut losses, and it usually involves hiring her target as a model, giving away the clothes as part of a hiring bonus, or making some other monetary arrangement worth a similar amount. Someone will coach you on your first full day here.”

  “That’ll happen after the launch at her boutique. Lee, you do not need to notify your employer you have been hired by me, by the way.”

  “Isn’t that a conflict of interests?”

  “No. You’re working in their interest to make sure the boutique has a successful launch, and you’re allowed to accept employment whenever you want. If they wanted to keep you, they wouldn’t have cut any hours. I bet you they’ll cut more hours on you tomorrow.”

  “I have no idea how I’m getting to work tomorrow.”

  “I already said I’l
l take you,” Clifford replied with a chuckle. “I need to go to the boutique anyway, so I’ll just go when you need to be there. It’ll work out. As I know exactly where she’s taking you, it’s not far from here, so it won’t be out of the way to pick you up. I have to come here for paperwork before I go to the boutique anyway.”

  “It’s really not an inconvenience?”

  “It’s really not.”

  “Okay. What should I do with Juliette if she gets out of hand?”

  “Give her something shiny. She’ll amuse herself.”

  I laughed. “She wouldn’t do that.” Hesitating, I turned in Clifford’s direction despite my inability to see him. “Would she?”

  “I totally would,” Juliette replied. “There’s a vehicle out front, so get the suits loaded before she changes her mind while I handle her.”

  “I’m not going to change my mind. Just be careful. The last thing I need is to break my ankle tonight.” Or get stung by a bee. Or abandon my common sense altogether while falling prey to Juliette’s scheming. “I have a list of things I don’t need tonight. Snapping my ankle is fairly high up on the list.”

  “What else is on your list?” Juliette took my arm. Clifford gave me a departing pat on the shoulder before wishing me a good night as he left.

  “Not being stung by a bee.”

  “Those are mostly done for the year, so you have little to fear. I haven’t seen a bee in weeks, not that they’re common around here anyway.”

  “The keyword there is mostly.”

  “What else?” With a gentle touch, she led me across the lobby, guided me through the front doors, and herded me into a waiting vehicle. “I mean, I get your reasoning for having bees on your list. Who wants to be stung by a bee?”

  “I have developed an aversion to rats. Human or rodent varieties. No more rats.”

  “That’s reasonable. I promise you I would never arrange a wedding for a rat of any variety.”

  As I’d already lost my mind agreeing to go anywhere with Juliette while blindfolded, I said, “I bet you could make a really cute wedding dress for a rat.”