“I draw the line at designing clothing for mice and rats. No. Over my dead body. I will dress up cats and dogs, but I will not dress up a rat, not after what they did to your Prada. I’ve declared war on them for that.”
“You’re something else, Juliette.”
“That I am, but admit it, Lee. You like me.”
“It disturbs me that I do.”
“It’s because you’re one of the more sensible people I’ve hired. Don’t tell Naomi this, but that was worth fifty points right there, though she’ll never admit it. What else is on your list?”
“Discovering this was all some dream, and in reality, I died overworking myself or something stupid like that.”
“I try not to overwork my employees, and I never require overtime. I will ask if anyone is interested in overtime, but now that I know you’re one of those, I will take steps.”
“Those?”
“Workaholics.”
“This is a pot calling kettle black situation, Juliette.”
“My husband keeps telling me that for some reason.”
“I’ll cut you a deal. If you don’t tell anyone I work hard to make ends meet, I won’t tell anyone you work hard to make ends meet. You’re just a lot better at it than I am.”
“I think you’re doing pretty well, actually. You’ll be plenty comfortable with your new salary, and I think you’ll love your new living arrangements almost as much as the man who currently resides there.”
“Has anyone told you that you’re prone to laying it on thick?”
“At least five times a day. Why?”
“They’re probably right.”
Juliette laughed. “Oh, I know they’re right. I just don’t care.”
As promised, the drive wasn’t far to our next destination, and while the street was New York noisy, the inside of the building was eerily quiet. Juliette shushing everyone had something to do with that, and I marveled that the witnesses actually cooperated with her. She recruited several people in the lobby to help cart her collection of suits upstairs.
It only took her a few snaps of her finger, a please, and a thank you to gain some helpers. I believe they wanted to witness her insanity.
A blindfolded woman decked out in a fortune of clothing and jewels didn’t come around every day, and New Yorkers loved free entertainment.
Riding in an elevator blindfolded disconcerted me, especially with the damned thing stopping at several floors before we reached our destination. Juliette guided me with a hand on my elbow, and after a somewhat long walk, she knocked on a door. “Open up, you! I brought a present.”
The door creaked, and I blurted, “You should grease that.”
Juliette laughed. “Wow, Lee. You went straight for the throat.”
“No, I went straight for the hinges. They squeak. It’ll take a little oil and five minutes to fix if that. I can do it tonight.”
“Not in that dress, you aren’t!”
“I’d change first.”
“Into what, exactly?”
Realization dawned that the tricky woman had stolen my clothes. “You are a terrible human being, Juliette Carter!”
“Revenge is sweet, isn’t it? It’s also best served in a sexy dress.”
“You are a terrible, horrible human being. Evil, too. Wretched. You did that on purpose. You stole my clothes, and you made your innocent employees distract me while you did it.”
“Your new dress is so much better if I do say so myself.”
“Why have you brought insanity to my door, Juliette?”
Well, shit. Juliette’s general belief about the situation made a great deal more sense knowing she’d dragged me to the Penthouse Guy’s home. Running might work, but Juliette knew where my parents, second parents, and friends all lived, which left me with few viable escape routes. “This is Jonas’s fault, isn’t it?”
“No, it’s your fault. You had an entire hallway of candidates to choose from, and you went for him. You made the bed, so I recommend you start sleeping in it,” Juliette replied, her tone smug. “I brought suits, and they should fit you without alteration, but if you want the suits, you have to agree to allow this woman to live with you. Rats invaded her apartment, and she was forcefully ejected from her residence. Dragged out, really, from what I’ve been told. I wasn’t there, but Jonas was.”
“I’ve already heard about the rats and the dress. I see you found an even better one for her. I like it”
“Found? What do you mean by that, you cretin? Found? Found?” Juliette’s voice rose an octave. “I didn’t find that dress. I made it!”
The Penthouse Guy chuckled, and his victory over the woman went into the pro column of living in the sort of penthouse I dreamed about. “Why did you blindfold Lee?”
“I felt like it.”
As I’d already reached the point of no return, I’d do my best to enjoy myself. I removed the blindfold, and an amused, shirtless Penthouse Guy kept a close eye on a fuming Juliette. Somehow, I’d stumbled my way directly into heaven, and I didn’t care he lacked the defined abs most women liked. Fit without being muscle bound was more my speed. He checked off every box and scored bonus points in the process. “I’ve figured out most of what she does is for that reason. It was easier to go with the insanity than protest it, and she lured me into her car with chai.” I shrugged, aware I confessed to being an idiot, although I thought I’d done well keeping from blurting the rest of my thoughts out. “I think this is her revenge for altering my Prada.”
“Damn straight, it’s revenge for adjusting an already perfect dress. You’re supposed to improve the ones that aren’t already perfect. You’re only allowed to do that to my dresses from now on.”
“I apologize for her, Lee. She gets out of control whenever she’s left unsupervised. You don’t have to do anything she says unless you want to.”
“Well, I foolishly agreed to be her employee, so I have to do some of the things she tells me.”
“That’s fast, even for you, Juliette. Also, I feel like I’ve failed to protect her from you.”
“Her boutique cut her hours, and Clifford kept telling me things I didn’t like. I decided to fix the situation. I was performing a rescue mission. But, yes. You failed. Your penance is to tuck her into your bed tonight.”
“Or the guest bedroom, as I won’t take advantage of a lady when you’re masterminding something. What that something is, I’m not really sure, but I’ve made a few educated guesses.”
“Your wedding.”
Well, Juliette was honest and forthcoming. I could respect that. More importantly, I could handle life in a penthouse with a man who countered with the existence of a guest bedroom while Juliette did her best to get me to sleep with him. All while in front of her well-dressed group of volunteers, a few of whom I recognized from the party. Rather than ditching my own rules and suggesting I’d be interested, especially if he insisted on walking around his own home shirtless, I kept my mouth shut.
“Well, as I see you’re on a mission, and I know you well enough to know I may as well hear what you have in mind, come on in. I’m not even sure you how got my neighbors to help you, but it probably involves blackmail and coercion.”
Everyone laughed, even me. “She just asked nicely. They’re New Yorkers, and there was free entertainment available. Did you expect anything different?”
“Not particularly. Thank you for taking your blindfold off, as I’d rather not have to rescue you or one of my paintings from a Juliette-created accident. Unless you want to be rescued, in which case, do as you please.”
Juliette would, and because she would, I threw the blindfold at the fashion designer. “You’re a terrible person.”
“I really am. It’s wonderful. But he offered to rescue you if you wanted. That’s a good start, right?”
“I would apologize for her, except she’s really not sorry, nor will she ever be sorry.” I straightened my shoulders and took the first step into his penthouse, and my gaze locked
onto the sketch proudly displayed on his wall. “I still owe you a coffee.”
“If Juliette gets her way, it seems we can have coffee or tea every morning, although I must admit, I was not expecting to have company today.”
I expected he would’ve put on a shirt if he’d been expecting company, although I appreciated the view. “I’m blaming the rats, Jonas, and Juliette. The rats get more of the blame, but I’ve been told I’m not allowed to light my apartment on fire. Ex-apartment. We’ve suffered a breakup. A rat peed on my harmonica.”
“Please tell me your harp is safe.”
I smiled at his concern for my instrument.
“It’s in the vault at my work,” Juliette said, strolling across the entry to admire the artwork. “So are her new paintings and prints. She’s pretty jealous over the paintings, which she assumed are prints. I told her they aren’t.”
“While I did get prints knowing she liked classical art, the paintings are the real deal. The flowers I had gotten a few weeks ago, but I hadn’t figured out where to hang it. Then I figured you’d appreciate it more, Lee.”
“And the winter painting?”
“That’s a secret.”
I liked secrets, especially when they were presented with an invitational tone challenging me to find out all about it. “No matter what Juliette says, I can’t afford the rent on this place even if I wanted to, but I’m willing to overlook my shortcomings to be able to admire your paintings whenever I want.”
He laughed. “You have no idea what my name is, do you?”
“Not a clue in hell.”
“Christopher.”
“I’m assuming you know my name, as you managed to get the paintings mailed without incident.”
“I can be convincing when necessary.”
I had no idea what everyone thought was so funny about his comment, but his neighbors burst into laughter, and Juliette snickered, shook her head, and began the process of reclaiming suits from her volunteers. “I can be convincing, too. You have to try on all of these suits so I can have them adjusted as needed. The rest of you, out! Thank you, but you’re not getting sneak peeks at him until he’s clothed to my satisfaction.”
I regarded Christopher’s bare chest with a raised brow.
“Any more of a sneak peek than you’ve already gotten,” the designer muttered. “Why are you half-naked, Chris?”
“This is my house, and at this hour, if I want to be half-naked in my house, I can be. It’s your fault for showing up unexpectedly. If you wanted me dressed, you should’ve called ahead.”
I considered his words carefully. “So, if we want to see you naked, all we have to do is show up unexpectedly?”
Juliette covered my mouth with her hand. “Unless you want to see him naked, don’t give him ideas.”
Damn it. Why had I promised myself I needed a wedding date, ring, and plans for the future? I sighed.
“I’ve gotten the lecture, Juliette. No ring, no wedding date, and no future plans means all she gets to see is my chest when she wanders in unexpectedly. I’m not responsible if she comes into the bathroom while I’m using it, however. I do usually close the door.”
Keyword: usually.
“I’m game to plan your wedding for Halloween next year. If I’m busy planning your wedding, I won’t be able to interrupt your evening dates. For the record, she enjoys chai sprinkled with cinnamon and nutmeg, and you’ll have a very attentive audience should you be in a mood to discuss art. Also, I couldn’t help but notice you’d included an engagement band in the box you’d acquired. It’s a half size too large, but that’s easily fixed, especially since it’s locked in my safe at work. I can take care of it.”
“That’s not how this works,” I reminded Juliette.
“It really is when I’m involved. I can’t help it if people recognize when I’m talking good sense. Sure, it’s a little spontaneous, but it’s still good sense.”
“A little?”
“I’m confident enough to be willing to put in the work planning a Halloween wedding. If the shoe fits, I say you should wear it. The shoe definitely fits. You two will be too busy admiring art and going to galleries to fight.”
“I don’t know what reality you live in, but I’m torn between asking for a ride to it or running away,” I admitted.
“If you run away, she’ll chase you,” Christopher warned me. “That’s what she does. And then she’ll recruit others to help chase you. Anyway, you’re more than welcome to make use of my guest bedroom, especially as you fell into Juliette’s clutches. It’s a short enough of a walk to her office, but if you need a ride in the morning, I drive by it on my way to work.”
“Where do you work?”
“Close enough that I can walk, but I usually have to drive because of business meetings. I can show you the building over the weekend.”
Juliette resumed herding everyone out of Christopher’s penthouse, neatly sorting the suits on the floor. Once she’d gotten rid of her volunteers, she gestured to the sea of black bags. “The sooner you consent to be my doll, the sooner I leave, Chris. Then you can do whatever it is you do with your evenings when you have an unexpected and permanent house guest.”
“Well, I was originally going to shower, but my showering plans were interrupted. I find the interruption to be well worth it, however. That said, did you really confiscate her clothing?”
“I really did.”
“She needs clothes, Juliette.”
“I figured she’d wear one of your shirts until I send Clifford over in the morning with work-appropriate attire.”
Christopher shook his head and sighed. “Do you ever sleep?”
“I’m goading my husband into retrieving me tonight.”
“I feel someone should warn him.”
“He already knows. I pitched a hissy fit earlier today, demanding attention. He told me I’d get my attention after a late meeting tonight.”
“And that was a reason to kidnap Lee?”
“I have a list of reasons a mile long why I needed to kidnap Lee. Hiring her was at the top. You came in at a close third.”
“Dare I ask what came in second?”
As I wanted to know, too, I kept my mouth shut and listened.
“Dressing her up for my enjoyment. I’ve never tried my hand at period gowns before, but after seeing her in one at the park, I’m determined to make a few. I’ll have her model them for me.”
I opened my mouth to reject her offer, thought twice about it, and snapped my teeth together. At a complete loss for what to do, I stared at Christopher.
“Just go with it, Lee. Juliette loves pretty things, and you were very pretty in your gown.”
“Well, it wasn’t mine. Jonas borrowed it. I wish I could afford the slippers that went with it, though.”
“You can. The slippers were my contribution. They’re normally made for indoor use at home for those who don’t like to go barefoot. They’re the cheapest product I make, and honestly, they’re usually just made for employees to wear around the office to make sure they’re comfortable. The seamstresses and tailors love them. They cost me about five dollars a pair to make.”
“That’s it?”
“They’re great time fillers between runs, and the materials aren’t all that expensive. We even make patchwork ones, which are fun since they’re made out of scraps from other production runs; those are no-cost except for manufacturing, and you wouldn’t believe the number of people we’ve taught to make clothes because they wanted a pair of comfortable slippers. You can make your own if you’d like.”
“Please,” I whispered with wide eyes.
“This is part of why I needed to hire her, Chris.”
“So, I see. Do you make those slippers for men?”
“Of course. She can practice making pairs for both of you.”
“Is there a reason you don’t sell them to the public?” I asked.
“I am a jealous mother of my slippers. So, if you want the slippers,
you have to keep the woman, Chris. I’ve held them back because they’re a great employee perk, and I’d rather not turn one of their perks into a money-making gimmick.”
I doubted I’d ever understand how the woman operated, but I liked how she put people before herself or her company’s profits. “Just so you know, you’re really crazy, but I find myself agreeing that you’re the good kind of crazy.”
“Aren’t you laying it on a bit thick, Juliette?” Christopher asked.
“That depends. Did it work?”
Christopher raised a hand and rested his fingertips to his temple before sighing. “Unfortunately, yes.”
“Then I didn’t lay it on too thick. Pick your first bag. The faster I’m done checking over the suits, the sooner I can leave. Then you two can discuss how you’ll proceed moving forward. I really hope I get to plan a Halloween wedding. Weddings beat the costume parties, but nothing beats a wedding that’s also a costume party.”
“How about a Halloween engagement party instead?” Christopher suggested. “I would rather not force Lee into making any sort of major decision like that without having plenty of time to think it through. I’d also like time to think it through as well.”
I wondered how the hell a rich, considerate bachelor had stayed a bachelor for so long. “Please don’t be offended I’m asking this, but why are you still single?”
“I have the same question about you.”
“Apparently, Jonas has cornered the market on boyfriends, stealing my share of them. He has several, I have none.”
“His boyfriends aren’t interested in women.”
“While that’s true, he’s much better at attracting men than I am. I’m artsy and, until this point, had a dead-end job in retail. I’ve found that has killed most of my prospects.”
Christopher’s brow was at high risk of being stuck in the upright position, and he gestured to his penthouse walls. “I seem to be single due to my artsy tendencies as well.”
“I don’t understand,” I confessed.
“I’d rather go to an art gallery or auction than shoe shopping. It seems many of the women I’ve met would rather go shoe shopping than to an art gallery.”
Bat Out of Hell Page 16
