by M. D. Grimm
We were several kirons from the tribe when Aishe finally spoke. "I never did thank you."
"For what?"
"For saving my life. A couple of times, actually. Thank you."
"Well, you're no use to me dead, and I plan on getting that justice for your tribe, so you had better live." I was trying to keep it light between us considering how heavy it had become with the Lania tribe.
"I appreciate that." He gave a small laugh. "I was thinking… Why don't you just fly us through the air like you've done before? We could get to the sorcerer faster."
"True, but I might overshoot him if he's hidden, or he might have a trap set for us and jumping in head first would only get us caught. I prefer taking it slow. I just hope we're not too late."
Aishe looked at me. "You mean you hope he hasn't unlocked all the ruby's power."
"Exactly. But he wouldn't need to unlock all the power to be better than me."
"No one's better than you," Aishe said.
It was my turn to laugh. "Thanks for that, but trust me, there are several. At the end of the day, even if I have more skill than him, the more power he has means he can wear me down."
"You said we would defeat him. You gave your word."
I swallowed hard. "I know I did. And I will try, Aishe. With everything in me, I will try. I like this world the way it is. But you have to know there is a chance we might fail."
"I can't accept that." I didn't hear anger in his voice but a resignation and determined will.
"I know you can't."
We had become very good at simply being silent in each other's company. But the silence had gradually changed during the course of our journey. At first it had been awkward, the silence of strangers. But now it was comfortable, normal, almost friendly.
"Morgorth, I never asked. What did you think of me when you saw me?"
"Huh?" I asked, raising the crystal.
"You know, when you saw me naked."
I stumbled over some rocks and felt my face heat. He laughed. By the Mother, it was a real laugh. Jolly, genuine, the depth of it indicating it came from deep inside him. A shiver actually ran up and down my spine when I heard it, dancing along my ears like the sweetest music.
I took a moment to wonder if I was seeing the real Aishe.
"Come on, Morgorth," Aishe teased, gently shoving me. "I'm the one who should be embarrassed. You caught me in a delicate position and didn't even stay long enough to let me work up a righteous anger."
I scratched my chin and looked anywhere but him. "I was surprised, and I should apologize for invading your privacy like that. Even though it was never my intention. I was simply looking for you."
Aishe nodded. "But you didn't answer my question."
I looked at him, and irritation worked its way into my voice. "What do you want me to say? Huh? You know very well what you look like, so why does my opinion matter?"
He frowned, his teasing nature gone in a snap. "No need to become defensive; it was just a simple question. I've only had a few lovers in my life, and I like to know what they think of me, and I like to tell them what I think of them. I am asking you because when this is over, I would like you to become my lover."
If he had changed into a five-headed, firebreathing rhinoceros, I couldn't have been more surprised. I stopped short and stared at him in shocked silence before I started walking again, quickly, trying to put distance between us. My heart pounded viciously in my chest, and my brain repeated those words again and again, driving me insane. I was twitchy, and my heart, while it pounded, ached with a pain I had never felt before. Sure, he'd said he'd liked me, and sure, he'd kissed me but...to actually hear the words, the intent in that beautiful voice... I didn't know how to react.
"Morgorth!"
I didn't stop. I couldn't. My feet propelled me forward, my fists clenched, my mind racing and utterly confused. He grabbed my arm, and I swung around, punching a small lance of force at him and knocking him off his feet. He sat up, looking stunned, as I seethed and my hands burned.
"Why the fuck are you doing this?" I said in a low voice that vibrated. "I don't understand you. I don't understand the things you are saying to me. What fucking game are you playing at?"
He stood, and his eyes were wary but determined. "I play no game, and I mean everything I've said to you. Why are you so afraid of my feelings? And your own?"
"My..." I stammered for a minute before clamping my mouth shut and breathing through my nose. "I have no feelings. And yours are not wanted."
Aishe crossed his arms over his chest. "Don't lie to me, Morgorth. It doesn't become you. You're not as good as you think at hiding your feelings."
"Believe whatever you want." I threw my hands in the air. "You think I want you with me? You think I want..."
I trailed off, and the disappointment in his face grated. I was lying, but I had good reason. A life with me wasn't what he deserved. There were things about me he didn't know, and when he did, I knew he would reject me. I couldn't bear that.
"This partnership is over," I said. "We owe each other nothing, and I will hunt the sorcerer by myself. If you want to get your justice, you get it on your own."
I turned on my heel and started to walk away, determined to put as much distance between me and the dialen as possible.
"Coward!" he shouted at me. I stopped short, my breath hitching, red coating everything I saw. I turned around and saw Aishe's smug smile. Did the dialen know he was playing with fire?
"You call me a coward?" My voice shook with rage and fear. "You're the one who rejected the traditions and beliefs of your tribe -- unwilling to accept your responsibilities and your duties to your tribe. You're the one who wasn't there to save your family from the massacre and think that by taking revenge you'll somehow make up for abandoning them."
I saw him grow paler as I shoved that bit of truth down his throat. His lips thinned, and he took a step towards me in challenge.
"Maybe I did do that, but I'm not running from my responsibilities now. I will seek justice for my family. At least I'm not running away from my feelings, like you are." He took another step. "Despite the mission I'm duty-bound to finish, I can't fight what I feel for you, and I don't want to. Wasn't it you who said I shouldn't allow my family to dictate my feelings when they’re dead? Well, I'm not now. I'm going against tradition by allowing my focus to waver. And it wavers toward you."
I couldn't speak. My head was spinning.
"By the Mother, Morgorth, what's wrong with you?" Aishe threw his own hands in the air. "Do you hate yourself so much that you refuse to believe anyone could ever love you?"
In that instant, the truth of myself that Aishe flung in my face blinded me and made me tremble in fear. I staggered back and looked away; my eyes burned and my voice left me.
Flashes of past memories surged into my mind: my family, my parents and brothers, the abuse, the hate, the way my father had tried to train me, that cursed whip, and those harsh words. The sleep and food deprivation. The other mages who said I should die because of the power inside of me, because of the threat I was to the world. I remembered how I ran, how I escaped from all those words and looks and tried to make a home.
And with those memories came my own fear of what I would become. The knowledge of what my two predecessors had done to Karishian, the destruction they had unleashed.
By the Mother, how could a monster such as myself find love? I didn't even know what that word meant.
"Easy," Aishe's voice broke through my despair, and he gripped my arms when I swayed. He was gentle and eased me to the ground.
"I'm sorry, Morgorth." He tried to meet my eyes, but I looked away. "I shouldn't have said... I was angry. We were both angry. I don't want to hurt you. I never want to hurt you. I won't push you, I promise. I won't... I'll leave you alone after this. If that's what you want."
What I want? I didn't know what the fuck I wanted. I didn't know anything at that moment except that I had to get away. I just had to
have a moment alone, to work through this conflict that was currently eating me alive.
"I'm sorry," I choked out and staggered to my feet, walking away.
"Mor--" but I was already gone, speeding through the air and putting kirons between the dialen and I within minutes.
Chapter Nine
Calmer and steadier, I lay back against the branch on the tall tree that I rested on. I stared up at the afternoon sky and wondered what I would do now. Aishe was right; I knew he was, which got me thinking. I didn't like to think about my past, about my childhood. Why bother reliving all that pain and helplessness? That sense of vulnerability and the victimization that my father inflicted upon me? There was no point. I wasn't a weak, scrawny boy anymore. I was a mage, a powerful villain, and I didn't take shit from anyone. But wasn't that the problem? Wasn't that why the other mages hated me?
I lifted my hand, and my sleeve slipped down to reveal ugly scars that wrapped around my wrist and arm. I traced them with the fingers of my other hand. I wanted Aishe, but there was a cloud forever hanging over me. Only the Mother knew my destiny, but considering what had happened to the other two mages who had the same birth heritage as myself, it didn't look good.
Being the seventh son of a seventh son didn't foretell a happy future. What was the point of becoming attached to Aishe when I knew we had no future?
Scowling, I yanked out the crystal with the sorcerer's hair, and it pointed north. Then, because the ache in my heart would not go away, I pulled out the other crystal that had Aishe's hair. It pointed back the way I had come. I felt ashamed by my behavior and what I had said to Aishe. Just because I had never had a family didn't mean I had the right to throw the death of another's in their face. Aishe deserved better from me.
As I watched the crystal, contemplating going back, it suddenly jerked and pointed up, right into the sky. I sucked in a shocked breath and scrambled up the branches of the tree, popping my head up and out of the leaves, looking all around me. Something had happened to Aishe, and I lifted the crystal again to see it jerk again and point southeast.
Panic fluttered in my chest, and I cursed myself for leaving him alone. I closed my eyes, called to my magick, said a word, and opened them again. I gave myself binocular vision and focused my eyes southeast, continuing to focus them more into the distance until I saw a sight that made my stomach smash to the ground.
Aishe had been picked up by a helioon, a very large carnivorous bird with an enormous wingspan, that could make lunch out of almost any creature except for payshthas. I'd seen those predators pick up a fully-grown trul with little effort. The bird was black and red with eyes of cold blue. Helioons took their prey up to their nests on high mountain tops.
I braced my body, said a word, and shot into the sky, speeding towards the bird. I strained to go faster, adjusting my binocular vision to keep focused on my target. I slowed down when I came within a yard of it and flung a firebolt. The fire hit the tail of the bird and sent it squawking, but it didn't let go of Aishe, who was struggling against the grip that the bird's talons had on him. I flew above it and let go of the magick that had held me in the air, landing on the great aerial beast and gripping its thick feathers. It sent a piercing roar that shook my bones, but I wasn't afraid for myself, only for Aishe, who was hanging onto those massive feet while the talons bit into his shoulders, causing him to bleed.
My vision turned red. With a rage that was becoming familiar whenever that dialen was involved, I gripped the neck of the helioon and sent fire to my fingertips, lighting the bird's feathers aflame. A painful roar sounded from the bird, and it rolled, causing me to lose my grip. I was flung into the air just as the bird let go of Aishe and sent him flying away from me. The bird's wing bumped me and sent me rocketing in the other direction. Panic flooded me as I rolled uncontrollably and continued to fall to the ground. We were high up, but the ground was coming up to meet me way too rapidly. I flung my hands out and harnessed the air, stopping my tumble and using the air to propel myself towards Aishe, who was plummeting with nauseating speed.
The helioon came after me with a vengeance, the fire still burning her feathers. I sped toward Aishe as he tumbled and flailed and screamed. I slowed my speed just enough to keep from hurting him too much when I grabbed him. His eyes widened an instant before I wrapped my arms around him and continued to fly through the air, the bird on my ass.
"Hold on!" I shouted. He wrapped his arms and legs around me and nearly pushed the air out of my lungs.
"Morgorth!" he shouted.
"I know." He was telling me that the bird was right behind us. I tried not to harm her, even with the rage inside me at her harming Aishe; I knew she had chicks that needed her, but I wasn't going to show mercy this time.
I plunged toward the ground and Aishe clung to me even tighter, his face pressed into my shoulder.
Hold on baby, just hold on, I thought wildly as the ground came to meet me. With seconds to go before going splat, I rolled myself so I faced the angry mother bird. With her eyes focused only on me, I clenched my left hand and swept it to the right, sending a bubble of invisible force to surround Aishe and I just as we hit the ground. She opened her large beak, the sharp tips ready to slice me open when we collided with the ground. Aishe and I bounced; the helioon didn't. They weren't the smartest bird in the rookery.
We bounced high, and I struggled to keep the bubble intact as we hit the ground again and bounced into a small forest, the bouncing becoming sharper and quicker until, finally, we rolled to a stop. I let the shield fall. I fell the few inches to the ground with a grunt of pain as Aishe's weight came down on me. We lay there for several minutes, both gasping for breath and waiting for the shakes to pass. Aishe, who still clung to me like the vines on my castle, was shaking as bad as I was.
I realized I didn't mind him on me so much. He was warm, he smelled nice, and he wasn't that heavy. And, if I stuck to my conviction, this would be the only time he was on top of me. So I might as well enjoy it.
He stirred slightly and lifted his head, looking down at me with a dazed expression on his face. His eyes were slightly glazed, and he was sweaty and sickly looking. He was also bleeding from both shoulders, blood coating his tunic. I gently gripped his waist and pushed him off of me. He went easily, just sort of sliding over and collapsing on the ground, on his back, staring up at the sky. I sat up and rolled my shoulders, not feeling too bad. Sore, a slight headache, but overall, not too bad considering we'd bounced all over hell and back. I turned to Aishe and watched him roll over and puke. I winced and didn't know what to do, how to help. He sat up after he'd purged himself and grimaced, looking at his shoulders.
"Help me?" he asked. I knelt in front of him, and, as gently as I could, I pulled away his shredded tunic to get a clear view of the wounds. He was pale and shaky, but the dazed look had gone and was replaced by focus and eyebrows bunched in determination.
He handed me a cloth, and I dabbed at the blood. One large gouge marred both shoulders, on both sides, punctured deep into his skin. Some of the muscles would have been torn by the talons, and he was losing too much blood. I pressed the cloth to one of the wounds as Aishe placed his hand over the other wound. He closed his eyes, and just as before, his hand glowed yellow as his hand covered the wound, blocking my view of the mending. When he pulled his hand back, the wound was gone. I glanced over his shoulder and saw the other side's wound was gone as well. But it had cost him.
Aishe shuddered and swayed, and I gripped his arms to keep him sitting up.
"Easy," I said softly. "Take a breath. You can do this."
"No, I can't." He panted and lifted pain- and fatigue-weary eyes to my face. "I don't have enough strength. Lost too much blood."
I shuffled through my brain, trying to find a way to help him. A small moment from my past flashed in my mind, and I turned back to Aishe, hating to see him struggle to stay conscious.
"Ever heard of power transfer?" I asked. Aishe looked up at me. "I can give you some
of my energy, to feed yours, and you can heal yourself. I did it once, except I was the one taking energy. You up for it?"
He nodded. "Have to be."
I briefly explained to him how it worked. It was similar to what I had done with the star ball that Kayl had conjured. But without the pain.
I braced myself, and as he pressed his hand to the wound, I pressed my hand to the back of his. I took steady breaths and tried to ignore all the blood leaking from his body. The magick flooded up, spread down my arm, and when it touched my hand, I felt a gentle pull from Aishe and gave into it. It felt incredibly weird, and I had to fight the instinctive urge to fight the drain. I monitored how much energy he took and was pleased by his control. He only took enough that would get the job done, and he wasn't impatient about it. It was slow going, and I felt Aishe snap shut the conduit he had opened as I removed my hand, my magick returning to my core. I sat back on my heels and took a deep breath.
"Did it work?" I asked. "Feel better?" Aishe removed his hand, and I saw that it had. I was happy; it was a nice feeling.
"You saved me," he whispered. "You left, and then you came back. And saved me. Again."
I nodded. "Guess I did."
Aishe lifted his head, and his eyes were burning with such passion I froze with fear. He launched himself at me, tackled me to the ground, and fused his mouth to mine. His body was drawn as tight as his bowstring as he shoved his tongue into my mouth. His fingers clenched in my hair, and his heat seeped into my skin. His body kept moving over mine, grinding and causing fires to ignite in my belly and groin. My own hands just gripped his arms, unable to get a handle on the passion consuming me. But as the blood quickly drained out of my head, I realized this was completely wrong, not only because of Aishe's hakum, but because I knew why he was suddenly so amorous.
With much regret, I pressed my hands against his chest, not able to stop the quick thud of pleasure at touching something so strong and powerful, and with a small bit of magick force, shoved him off of me. He didn't go very far and sort of tumbled off of me, landing on his back a few inches away.
