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I know without a doubt he’s lying to me.
I open my mouth to call him out on it, but it’s suddenly filled with his tongue as he crashes his mouth down on mine. His hands remain around my throat, thumbs under my chin to hold me in place. He plunges deeply into me, carnally invading my mouth, even as one thumb snakes up and strokes me along my jawline. The frantic nature of his kiss, along with the tender stroking of my skin, causes my head to spin and lust to course through me.
It’s coursing through Alex too, because I feel him grow hard against me.
He’s distracting me—I know it. He doesn’t want to talk about the reasons he bolted out of bed. I decide not to pursue it because I’m immensely grateful he didn’t bolt out of my house. He’s back…in my bedroom, in my arms, and he still very much wants me.
Well, he wants my body.
Alex is so skillful in the way he kisses me—and my body is so reactive—I let him have me.
I let him distract me, and I choose not to worry about all of the ways that Alex still is not opening up to me.
***
As we lie in each other’s arms, I immerse myself in the feeling of security Alex is making me feel at this moment. Our bodies have quieted from our last round of sex, which showcased a very in-control Alex who was intent on making me remember the glory of frenzied lust.
He growled the dirtiest things in my ear while he pounded into me. He kissed me roughly, biting and sucking at my tender skin. After an orgasm that almost lifted my entire body off the mattress, even with Alex’s heavy weight on me, I almost cried out in relief when he pulled me into his arms and held me close.
He didn’t run, and maybe I was just imagining the cold shoulder from earlier in the evening.
I was getting drowsy but I didn’t want to fall asleep. We may have caught up on the sex we had missed out on, but I wanted to talk to Alex.
“Thanksgiving is coming up,” I tell him as my finger traces circles around one of his ni**les. My head is resting in the cradling valley between his shoulder and chest, with an arm holding me tight.
“And this means what to a Canadian?” he teases.
“Canadians celebrate Thanksgiving,” I tell him firmly.
“Yeah, but not in November,” he argues.
“Did you celebrate it this year?”
“Nope,” he says. “Not my kind of holiday. ”
“And why is that?”
Shrugging his shoulders, he says, “It’s a family holiday and I’m not close with my family. ”
“Well, Thanksgiving isn’t just about family. It’s also about spending time with friends. So, you are coming to eat Thanksgiving dinner with my family next week. ”
“I can’t,” he says with what I’m grateful to note is actually a bit of sadness. “We have a game on Thanksgiving Day. ”
“I know. Jim-Dad noticed that when my mom suggested you come and she said we’ll just do Thanksgiving on Friday instead of Thursday. ”
“No way,” Alex says suddenly. “You are not moving a family holiday to accommodate my schedule. ”
“Shut up,” I tell him firmly. “It’s a done deal and if you want to argue about it, you need to call my mom and argue with her. ”
I literally can hear Alex snap his lips shut, on the verge of arguing with me, but I also feel his muscles relax even farther into our post-coital bliss.
“Fine,” he grouses, but when I tilt my head up to look at him, I see the smile on his face. “You think we can invite Garrett too?
“Absolutely, although I think having Alex Crossman and Garrett Samuelson in his home is likely to cause Glenn to stroke out. ”
Chuckling, Alex rolls toward me, dislodging my perch on his body. He brings his free arm around my waist and pulls me into the warmth of his body. Our faces just inches apart, he tells me softly, “I lucked out when I met you, Sutton. ”
I close my eyes briefly, just so I can memorize the look on his face right now and the reverence in his voice. It seems to dispel most of the doubts I was feeling earlier, but I’m still cautious that there is a part of Alex that is locked away tight. I know I didn’t imagine the fear on his face earlier, following what was an intensely intimate moment between us.
For now, though…I’ll take these words and I’ll live off them.
Chapter 21
Alex
“I think I might barf,” Jim Murdock says with a groan as he slides his chair back from the dining room table and stretches his legs out. “Is it bad manners to unbutton my pants in front of our guests?”
“It’s bad manners to unbutton your pants at the table, regardless if guests are here or not,” Penny Murdock says sternly, even though she has mischief dancing in her eyes.
I feel like I’m going to barf too, I ate so much food, but damn, Sutton’s mom can f**king cook. I couldn’t stop eating, and as Garrett groans across the table from me, I can see he’s as miserable as I am.
“Well, the food was amazing, Penny,” I tell her as I push my own chair back and stretch out just a bit. “I ate way too much. ”
“I was just trying to keep up with this little garbage-gut beside me,” Garrett says as he nudges Glenn with his elbow.
The kid gives Garrett a starry-eyed look and blushes scarlet. “No way. You’re like ten times bigger than me and ate way more than I ever could. ”
“You are cold trippin’, kid,” Garrett says with mock anger. “You ate like five plates of food. I only had two. ”
“Four,” Glenn counters.
“Three and we’ll call it even. ”
“Deal,” Glenn says with a grin and then pushes away from the table to copy his dad and me. Garrett follows suit.
Sneaking a glance at Sutton, who sits to my right, a flush of warmth goes through me. She’s leaning forward in her chair, one elbow propped on the table, her chin resting on the heel of her hand. She’s watching the interplay between Glenn and Garrett with such a dreamy look on her face, completely in love with her younger brother and over the moon at the positive attention he’s getting. I love seeing how happy that makes her, but at the same time it causes a small pang of hurt to go through me because I never had a family member look at me like that. My dad’s gaze was usually too bleary and Cameron was lost in his own world, trying to ignore the f**ked- up relationship we all had.
As I watch Sutton, glowing with serenity and peace, I actually feel a bit envious of her. She had a shitty life to start out, same as me. But her life changed and mine didn’t. I’m not sure if the things we have in common drew us together, but I’m fearful the differences we have could cause a void because maybe I can’t be truly happy for Sutton and the life she’s made.
Shaking my head from those thoughts, and needing a bit of distance, I stand up from the table and grab my plate. “Come on, guys. Let’s clean up the kitchen. ”
Glenn and Garrett stand up at my suggestion and start stacking plates. Penny makes a small attempt to intervene as she stands up. “You’re guests, Alex. You boys sit down and I’ll get this later. ”
Before I can even say a word, Garrett says, “With all due respect, Penny, sit your butt down and let us clean up. You’ve earned the break. ”
Sutton starts to stand to help but I give her a hard look. “You sit your beautiful butt back down too. You helped your mom cook. Us men will handle the cleaning. ”
I look over to Jim but he just gives me a smirk. “Hey, my hard-earned money bought all this food. I think I’ll just sit back and relax. ”
“Fair enough,” I laugh and then we get to work cleaning.
Okay, so two men in their mid-twenties and an eleven-year-old kid really aren’t the best at kitchen duties, but what we don’t have in efficiency, we make up for in determination.
It takes us over an hour to clear the dining room table, put the leftover food in containers and wash all the pots and pans. By the time we finish, I’m exhausted and looking f
orward to maybe some couch snuggle time with Sutton.
Garrett is in the dining room wiping down the table and as I dry my hands on a towel, I look over to Glenn, who just put the last container in the fridge.
“How’s school going?”
Shoving his hands in his pockets and looking at the floor, Glenn shrugs his shoulders. “Okay, I guess. ”
I recognize the move…it’s one I did repeatedly when teachers would ask how things were at home. I was a pro at averting my gaze so no one would see the truth in my eyes.
“Hey, man,” I say as I walk up to him and put a hand on his shoulder. He finally looks up at me, so I continue. “If you need to talk about something…something that you can’t talk to your parents or even Sutton about, you can talk to me. ”
I’m not quite sure why I offer this, because honestly, what type of sage advice could I give him? I have no realistic idea of what a normal childhood looks like, and God help me if he wants to talk about girls. Until Sutton, I never treated a woman decently in my life. Still, I give him a reassuring smile so he knows I mean the offer is good.
Shooting a quick glance in the living room, and satisfied no one is listening because Sutton, Jim and Penny are all sound asleep as a football game plays on TV, he says, “There’s this kid at school, who everyone picks on. When he comes to school, he’s always dirty, and smells bad. I think he and his mom may be homeless. ”
My heart lurches when Glenn sneaks another glance at the living room, then turns back to me in a whisper. “Anyway, the other day some kids were pushing him around and I told them to stop…”
Glenn pauses and looks down with a shamed look on his face. “Hey, bud, it’s all right. You can tell me. ”
He looks back up and a hard glint is in his eyes. He whispers again while leaning toward me, “They wouldn’t stop…and I just…I got so angry I got in a fight with the other kids. ”
Of all the things I thought Glenn was going to say, I didn’t think that was it. My brain goes into overdrive, trying to think what an adult piece of advice would sound like, but Glenn doesn’t even give me a chance. “I ended up hitting one kid really hard and cut his lip. ”
“Did you get in trouble?” I ask, fascinated over the prospect that Glenn was involved in a schoolyard brawl.
Shaking his head, he says in a low voice, “No…it broke up when the bell rang and the kid didn’t rat me out. I guess he was afraid he’d get in trouble for pushing the other kid around. ”
“So what’s the problem?” I ask, genuinely not knowing why this should upset Glenn. To my way of thinking, he was a little hero. He stood up for someone weaker.
One more glance into the living room, and I notice that he’s looking directly at Sutton. Then his eyes come back to me, filled with regret. “Because…Sutton says violence is never the way. She says violence begets violence. ”
I blink at Glenn hard, absorbing the almost biblical tone to his voice as he quotes his sister. He’s feeling shame over hitting another kid.
“But surely she’d understand,” I say, but Glenn is shaking his head, cutting me off.
“No…she lived in a violent household when she and Mom were with Cosmo. She’s been through things much worse, and she’s told me to always turn the other cheek. ”
I almost rear backward over this revelation. I’m surprised first that Glenn would even know any such details of Sutton’s life before Jim rescued her and her mother, and second, I’m stunned that violence was part of the f**ked-up existence that Sutton lived in with her drugged-out father. Suddenly, I’m wishing I had punched Cosmo Price rather than shook his hand last week.
“What exactly did Sutton tell you about when she lived with her—with Cosmo?”
“No real details because she thinks I’m just a kid, but just generally things like hitting another person doesn’t solve a problem. She told me that she had been hit a lot and sometimes she wanted to react the same way, but she always told herself to be the bigger person. I want to be a bigger person like Sutton, but maybe I’m just as bad as Cosmo. ”
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