by N. C. Reed
“Mattie, I don't know exactly where you live so you’ll have to clue me in,” he said over his shoulder. “All I know is that your road is between here and Peabody.”
“Everything is burned over,” she said instead of replying directly.
“It was a big fire,” Gordy nodded. “Back before we even planted. Thousands of acres. Maybe tens of thousands, even. Were barely managed to save the ranch, working night and day to do it. We still lost some acreage and a stand of trees.”
“How did it get so big?” she wanted to know. “Why didn't . . . ” She trailed off as realization dawned.
“No one to fight it except in fits and starts,” Gordy replied. “We got lucky . . . no, we didn't,” he amended. “Abby was smart enough to run and jerk the electronics off of her plow before the wave hit. Her and Jake managed to get it running again and she used it, along with Ronny's dozer and every tractor we own and every hand we could spare to create a break around the ranch. It was all we could since we couldn't actually fight it. Hadn't been for Abs, we'd have probably lost everything.”
“I would have thought the Interstate would serve as a good firebreak,” Xavier noted.
“It was the wind,” Zach fielded that one. “Northwest wind blowing ten miles or better an hour and gusting higher for the whole time. Fire literally grew from about three thousand acres by Abby's estimate, up to six thousand overnight. And it just kept growing with all the dry fuel ahead of it. Burning embers kept starting fires way ahead of the main blaze. It was a monster.”
“It was,” Gordy agreed. “I hope I never see anything like it again.”
“Hard to believe Abby used to do that shit for a living, man,” Zach added. “She's one cool cookie.”
“Ah, she's okay,” Gordy chuckled, drawing laughs from everyone but Mattie.
“Who was fighting the fire over here?” she asked, seeing entirely too much destruction for her peace of mind.
“I don't know,” Gordy admitted. “I know the emergency services had a few hours warning to secure their vehicles, so the fire department should have had vehicles, but without city water lines running, they'd be limited to what water they could carry. And I don't know how many trucks or firefighters were left.”
“Why didn't you help?” her voice as almost accusing.
“Maybe you missed the part where it was all hands on deck just to protect where we live,” Zach wasn't going to take that. “We worked for three days trying to prepare and even then had fires breaking out all over the ranch from falling embers and ash. We had all we could say grace over. And no one was coming to help us, now that I think on it.”
“It's Abby's job!” Mattie objected.
“Pretty sure she ain't been paid here recent,” Zach snorted. “Also reasonably sure that Forestry is out of business.”
“She still had the plow!”
“Which we managed to get running barely in time to help build a firebreak, and which broke down again before we were finished,” Gordy informed her. “We caught a break when the fire sort of just rolled over it and kept going instead of destroying it outright. Maybe Jake will be able to get it running again, but we don't have any spare parts of any kind for it. If something major is wrong, then that's it.”
“I can't believe you all just sat there and didn't try to help,” she muttered mulishly. Sullenly. Seeing so much destruction so near home was starting to wear on her already frayed nerves.
“Her hearing must be damaged, man,” Zach said to Gordy, contempt leaking into his voice. “She still missed the part where we worked damn near around the clock for three days, had all the children and most of the women set up to run in case we lost, lost the dozer, and spent the afternoon fighting spot fires everywhere.”
“Take it easy, now,” Shane said carefully, knowing he was the outsider here.
“No, he's right,” Gordy wasn't so obviously contemptuous, but his tone made it clear he was with Zach all the way. “You be mad all you want to, Mattie Simmons, but you find me one person who would let their home burn to save someone else's and then you can criticize us. I doubt you'd let your home burn to save ours, would you?”
“And it's not just us,” Zach reminded her. “We shelter a lot of people, including an orphanage full of little kids. And we're . . . you know what, never mind,” he cut himself short. “I don't owe you an explanation. Ain't got to justify a damn thing to you.” His tone wasn't cold, wasn't angry, wasn't anything. It was almost blank. That more than anything caught Xavier's attention.
“I need you to tell me where to turn,” Gordy reminded Mattie as she was still sulking in the rear seat.
“Woolsey Road,” she bit out, angry at both of them, mostly because they were right and she didn't want them to be. If her family home had burned, she wanted someone to blame and they were handy. It was irrational, but rationality was often the first victim of a crisis.
“Coming up on the left,” Zach said from his perch in the turret. “Looks clear.”
“Roger that,” Gordy replied easily.
Turning slowly onto the road, Gordy let the Hummer idle for a few seconds.
“Mattie, how far are we going?” he asked when she didn't offer. “Are we turning onto another road?”
“No,” was the bitten off reply. “Two miles down, on the left. Brick home with a green tin roof, and a shop with a matching roof behind.” Gordy increased his speed slightly but only slightly. He didn't know this road well, and didn't know what they'd run across. He wanted time to react, and to give Zach time to get a good look ahead.
There were signs of fire everywhere and Gordy had a sinking feeling they were heading for a literal dead end, but his job was to deliver Mattie Simmons to her home. He'd do that. If it was gone when they got there, then Shane could deal with it. He was in charge.
Five minutes later and his fears were confirmed.
“No,” he heard Mattie's whisper from behind him. “No!” she shouted the word, opening the door even with the Hummer still rolling.
“Damn,” Gordy muttered as he hit the brakes, slowing just in time to keep the girl from rolling onto the pavement. She went running up the drive as Gordy turned slowly into it, stopping as soon as he was out of the road.
“Well . . . shit,” Shane sighed, rubbing his face as he watched the woman they all called Tall Girl run toward . . . ruins. A stone chimney was all that remained of what had undoubtedly been a nice house, once. Just behind and to the side the charred remains of a large shop were also visible. Inside he could see the outline of a heavy truck, probably immobilized by the CME.
“You need to get her under control,” Xavier broke the silence as they watched Mattie run around in despair. “She is very likely to injure herself rampaging through the ruins in such a way.” While he hadn't called Shane by name, everyone knew who he was talking to.
“Zach, eyes on the road,” Shane called. “Gordy, cover from the front. X, on me.” He opened his door and exited, the others following suit as Zach swiveled the big gun around to watch the road behind them. Gordy perched on the front bumper, rifle at the ready, eyes moving constantly over their surroundings.
Shane and Xavier slowly approached an increasingly frantic Mattie Simmons. She was moving back and forth among the ruins as if expecting to find that once she did, it would all go away. Or perhaps just looking to see if anything at all remained after the fire. Maybe even a clue as to whether her family had survived and if so, where they went.
“Mattie,” Shane called her name, but she didn't appear to hear him. She continued to run among the ruins, her eyes not really seeing anything as panic hit her.
“Mattie,” Shane tried again. “Mattie!” he near shouted and this time she stopped short, turning to look at him.
“I . . . where . . . I can't find them,” she said suddenly. “They should be here.”
“Who, Mattie?” Shane asked her, moving to join her among the ruins.
“My parents!” she almost screeched. “Who do you think! I mad
e it all this way . . . I walked hundreds of miles to get here! Why aren't they here?”
“Tall Girl, you don't really want them to be here,” Xavier said softly. “That would be bad. You want them to have escaped and be somewhere safe. Not here.”
“This is my home,” she was shaking her head. “This is where they should be.”
“Mattie, they couldn't stay here,” Shane tried next. “There's nothing left. No shelter from the elements, no food, maybe no water. They had to find another place. For their own survival. Do you have any other family?” he asked. “Somewhere nearby they could go to in an emergency like this? How about vehicles? How old were their vehicles? Would they have still worked after the pulse hit?”
“My dad's truck was an '95 Chevy,” Mattie said. “My mother's car was newer, an '09 model. And I can see what's left of his work truck over there,” she pointed to where the shop building had burned, a few beams all that remained.
“Too new,” Xavier noted quietly. “But not here. They were probably away when the wave hit. Maybe out to eat or something.”
“Could be,” Shane nodded. “Mattie, you can't stay here,” he said to the distraught young woman. “There's no shelter for you and nothing to eat. Nothing to work with. You need to come back with us.”
“This is my home,” she shook her head. “This is where I belong. This is where I spent so long trying to get to.”
“I really do understand,” Shane was nodding. “But this isn't home anymore, Mattie. It's gone and nothing we can do will change that. You can't live here. Not like this. You know you're welcome back at the Sanders' place.”
“The Sanders,” she almost spat the name. “This is your fault!” she screamed suddenly, looking at Gordy and Zach, both still with the Hummer. “You did this!”
“You know they didn't,” Xavier said calmly. “They had nothing to do with this and you are well aware of it.”
“They could have stopped it,” she almost snarled. “They stopped it from burning their precious farm, didn't they,” she stated rather than asked. “And then they quit. They just let the rest burn!”
“Mattie, that's enough,” Shane's voice hardened. “That's not what happened and you know it. Think how far we drove just to get here, and how much burned over territory we crossed. There was no way for them to stop what happened to your home and you know that!”
“They saved their place, didn't they?” Her voice was full of contempt. “Left the rest to die and burn, but saved themselves. And you want me to go back?” she turned to look at him.
“Yes, I do,” Shane nodded. “Because there's nowhere else to go. I asked before do you have any other family nearby. Do you?”
“No,” she shook her head. “Some of us aren't surrounded by family,” she looked again to the Hummer, to Gordy specifically this time, venom dripping from her words. “Not all of us have everything.”
“I've heard about enough of this shit,” Zach muttered from the turret and Gordy nodded but remained silent. This was Shane's show. His problem to deal with. Not Gordy's.
“Let him deal, man,” he called softly over his shoulder to Zach. “No reason for us to get involved in this.”
“If she don't go back . . . ” Zach let the statement trail away.
“Yeah.” Gordy's one word reply was enough. He knew what Zach was getting at. Someone with that much vitriol who knew their setup would be a threat.
Unaware of this development between the two teens, Shane was still talking to an increasingly angry and bitter Mattie Simmons.
“Mattie, you know as well as we do that the Sanders couldn't have stopped all this,” he waved his arm to encompass not just the Simmons place but everywhere around them. Everywhere you looked was burned over ground and trees with just a smattering of grass trying to grow back. Nothing else.
“They didn't even try, though, did they?” she shot back. “They already said they didn't!”
“That isn't actually what they said,” Xavier was running out of patience. “If you will recall, they said they had their hands full trying to save themselves. That is a far cry from saying they didn't try. You're twisting their words because you're angry. You have a right to be angry at the loss of your home, but not at the Sanders or anyone else at the farm. They had no obligation to you or anyone else, and no sane being would sacrifice their own home and livelihood to save someone else's. That may sound harsh but in reality it's simply a cold, hard fact. Asking someone to do so is ridiculous. You wouldn't do it and neither would anyone else.”
It was obvious that their words weren't getting through to her. At this point Mattie was driven by far more than just simple anger. The stress of being away from home to start with, and then being caught in a disaster even further away, the loss, fear and trauma she had endured during her journey to get here, all of it was taking its toll. She had managed to hold that stress and strain at bay for so long, but now . . . now, there was nothing left. Everything she had hoped for was either lying before her in ruins, or missing altogether. The goal, the dream that had allowed her to keep going, to bear that stress and strain, was now gone. The only thing holding her together had been the idea of getting home. Home to her parents and the familiar surroundings where she could feel . . . safe.
All gone now. The dam that had held her breakdown at bay was gone.
“What am I supposed to do now?” she asked the ground before her. She didn't seem to notice the tears on her cheeks as they fell. “I came all this way . . . went through all that. My God, I abandoned Cindy to get here! I left her behind when she got hurt and for what! FOR WHAT!” she screamed at the sky.
The gray overcast didn't reply.
“We should go,” Xavier told Shane softly. “We are a target like this. Mobility is life.”
“I know, X,” Shane sounded put upon. “Give her a minute, will you?”
“I am aware of her mental process, the shock of seeing all this,” Xavier would not be placated. “But there is no undoing the damage. And despite her newfound hatred of the Sanders, there is nowhere else for her to go. There is nothing salvageable in these ruins,” he swept the ground around them with his gaze, “ergo there is no reason to delay any longer. Move to live.”
“I said I know!” Shane was starting to feel the pressure too. He knew Xavier was right, but was reluctant to make Mattie move just yet. She needed some kind of closure and if five minutes of staring at ruins helped, then they'd give it to her.
Disgusted by Shane's indecision, Xavier moved back to the Hummer.
“What are we doing?” Gordy asked quietly.
“Nothing at all, apparently,” Xavier replied. “Despite the fact that remaining here is useless, here we remain. Sentiment appears to be the deciding factor at the moment, along with something called 'closure'. A notion that escapes me, quite honestly.”
“It's a weakness, that's what it is,” Zach said from the turret, drawing Xavier's attention. “Shit happens. Deal with it. Move on.”
“Quite so,” Xavier was liking this young man more by the minute.
“Let Shane deal,” Gordy said again. The truth was that Gordy was fighting to contain his own anger at Mattie Simmons' words. Intellectually he knew they were spoken in anger and grief, and likely didn't represent her true feelings. But the seed of doubt had been well and truly planted. If she had said it, then the idea had to be rolling around in her head somewhere. That would make her a potential enemy from now on, irregardless of what she might say by way of apology. He wouldn't be able to see her any other way, now. Not for a long time, and maybe not ever.
Atop everything else, she was friends with his sister, and more importantly his girlfriend. Perfect. He shook his head slowly as these revelations bounced around his head.
“What?” Xavier asked, noting Gordy's movement.
“Just wondering when my life got so frigging complicated,” Gordy replied truthfully.
“Got a girlfriend?” Xavier asked innocently.
“Yes,” Gordy wa
s started by the question.
“There you have it,” Xavier stated firmly, punctuating it with a single nod.
“She's not the problem,” Gordy shook his head. “She's friends with this one, and so is my sister. That's the problem.”
“Ah, doubly cursed then,” Xavier sounded sympathetic. “Mother likes her as well?”
“I think so,” Gordy nodded. “Probably.”
“Well then,” Xavier smiled suddenly and clapped Gordy on the shoulder. “Your life has indeed become complicated in the last, oh, ten minutes or so, has it not?”
“Considering that she’ll probably end up staying with us, yes.”
“How . . . comfortable,” Xavier mused. “I suppose said girlfriend lives under that roof as well?”
“Yep,” Gordy popped the 'p' at the end of the word.
“Well my young friend, you seem to have hit the trifecta,” Xavier noted.
“I was just thinking that,” Gordy agreed. “Lucky me.”
“Indeed.”
***
“Mattie, I am truly sorry, but we have to go,” Shane said firmly. “We can't stay here, and neither can you. There's nothing here for you. You're more fortunate than most since you have a place to go that will welcome you. You need to get rid of that misplaced anger at the Sanders family and be thankful that they're there when you need them.”
“Like how they were here for my folks?” Mattie said bitterly.
“That's enough!” Shane's voice was sharper than he meant it to be, but it did serve to jerk her out of that petty bitterness.
“What obligation does the Sanders family owe yours?”
“What?”
“You heard me,” Shane said. “You keep talking about how the Sanders didn't do anything, but what obligation did they have to do anything at all? Because I can tell you; none. They didn't owe you, your family, your neighbors or anyone else anything at all. Blaming them for this is ridiculous and you're too smart not to know that and to see it for what it is; lashing out in anger because you can't do anything else. I can understand that, and sympathize with it, but enough is enough.
