by Brandon Hale
Abbie looked at the others. “Do we have any atheists on the team?”
Scott raised his hand. “More agnostic, really.”
“Ah,” Abbie said. “Agnostic. Afraid to pick a team, huh.”
Scott laughed, a bit uncomfortably. “That’s a fair assessment.”
“You will have the greatest challenge,” Abbie said.
“Why?” Lily asked. “I mean, why is it harder for an agnostic?”
“Because,” Abbie explained, “he has to learn to believe in himself. As strange as it sounds, humans find it much more difficult to believe in themselves than in a higher power. If someone thinks the power is coming from God, they can usually channel it into that cross. If they think it’s coming from inside themselves, they often end up holding a powerless trinket.”
“I can see that being difficult,” Ellie said quietly.
“What about you?” Abbie asked.
“Never been to church,” Ellie said, “but I do believe in God.”
“So,” Grung said, “you’re a nun, but you don’t believe it’s the power of God that gives these objects power?”
“I do believe it’s the power of God,” Abbie said. “But I believe that power is within you, if you choose to access it.”
“Choose?” Lily asked.
“Yes,” Abbie said, “but let’s back up for a moment and talk about good and evil. For centuries, most people believed that good and evil were simply points of view. What is good to some is evil to others.”
“I think that’s still true,” Scott said.
“Of course it’s true,” Abbie agreed. “For most things, evil is a point of view. But there are some things that go beyond opinion or perspective. There are some things that are empirically good or evil. Vampires have proven this. Power objects have proven this.”
“What about humanity?” Lily asked. Why does humanity deserve to win this war? The question was strong in her mind.
“Most things on this earth,” Abbie explained, “are neither good nor evil. Not inherently anyway. They are born with the capacity for both. They can choose good or they can choose evil. Most, however, just choose selfishness, which can be just as harmful as evil.”
“So if vampires are evil,” Grung said, “are there any creatures that are inherently good?”
“I believe so,” Abbie said. “But we haven’t found them. Keep in mind, vampires have been around for thousands of years, yet it was only a decade ago that we were given proof of their existence. There’s an entire division of the Day Soldiers devoted to finding this good creature, if it exists.”
“The searchers,” Scott said.
Abbie nodded. “I saw that you had applied for that division as well.”
“Yeah,” Scott answered. “I was offered a spot on the team, actually. But I turned it down for the sneakers.”
“Why?” Lily asked.
Scott looked mildly uncomfortable. “Because those people are zealots. They believe – with all their hearts and souls – that this mythical good creature exists. I was afraid I’d be more a hindrance than a help because I don’t have that level of faith.”
“You’re misinformed about the searchers,” Abbie said. “They welcome skeptics. They need them.”
Scott shrugged. “I get that. But I just felt my place was here.”
“Fair enough,” Abbie said, then turned back to the others. “Let me be clear about the goodness that resides within you. It doesn’t matter if you believe that power comes from God or yourself. I believe it comes from God, but you most certainly do not have to agree. As long as you believe it’s there, within you. Its origin is just philosophical meandering.”
“How do you access it?” Ellie said. “I’ll be honest, when you gave me that cross, I was terrified.”
“Here’s the part,” Grung said, “where she gets all Gandhi on us and tells us we have to embrace love or some crap like that.”
Abbie laughed. “Embracing love indeed works,” she said. “Evil is the absence of love. But that isn’t the only way you can access this power.”
“So these evil things,” Scott asked, “are fueled by hate.”
“Absolutely not,” Abbie said. “These evil things can’t hate any more than they can love. There is a great difference between hate and an absence of love. I mean, let’s face it. Love and hate are basically the same emotion. As a matter of fact, you can access the goodness within you by giving in to your hate.”
“What?” Lily said. “That doesn’t even make sense.”
“If your hate is directed toward an evil thing,” Abbie said, “that hate is a good thing. It’s a warrior for good. Humanity’s problem is we tend to focus our hate on things that are not evil. Like other humans.”
“How many evil things exist in this world?” Grung asked.
“I suspect many,” Abbie answered. “But so far, we’ve only verified one.”
“Vampires,” Scott said.
“Vampires,” Abbie agreed. She looked at Lily. “You seem troubled, child.”
“I just can’t accept that giving in to hate is ever a good thing,” Lily said. “When I was back in Iveyton, I told Commander Wallace I wanted to join the Day Soldiers for revenge. He surprised me by saying revenge was as good a reason as any other.”
“When facing evil,” Abbie said, “I agree with him. The problem comes when you can’t recognize the difference between evil… and just someone who disagrees with you.”
“I don’t buy it,” Lily said. “Even if embracing hate brings power into these objects, I don’t buy it. I was wrong to join for revenge, and I can’t believe embracing hate is a good thing.”
“Okay,” Grung said, “I knew the Gandhi stuff was coming. I was just wrong about who would bring it.”
Abbie laughed again. “Lily, you can let these thoughts go. Perhaps you’re right. Perhaps not. It really doesn’t matter. One day you’ll be in the field and a vampire will be on the verge of tearing your throat out. And one of your teammates will drive that vampire back. And I promise you, what that team member is feeling at the time will be the furthest thing from your mind.”
“Fair enough,” Lily said.
“I had a very specific training prepared for today,” Abbie said, “but Lily changed those plans. I suppose we’ll have to make the best of it.”
Lily took a deep breath, pushing back the agitation.
“Come,” Abbie said as she walked to the body of the vampire. “Here is your proof that a vampire is – by its nature – an evil thing.” She placed her cross on the dead creature’s face.
The vampire’s skin bubbled and burned where the cross touched it. “Evil,” Abbie explained, “is ingrained in its very skin. This creature doesn’t act evil. This creature is evil.”
Lily felt suddenly angry. “Wait,” she said. “We can test power objects on a dead vampire?”
“Yes,” Abbie answered.
“Then why,” Lily asked, “were we torturing this thing earlier?”
“Because,” Abbie said, “summoning the good within you is easy when you’re standing over a dead body. But when an evil creature is looking you in the eyes… talking to you… trying to control you… Well, let’s just say it becomes a little harder to find your happy place.”
Lily nodded, her lips tight. She understood Abbie’s point. Mostly, she even agreed with it. So why, she thought, did seeing that thing tortured bother me so much?
“When you’re in the field,” Abbie said, “and these things are coming at you, everything you learn here will disappear from your mind. You’ll try to access your inner power, but one sentence will be a constant distraction. One thought will drown out all others.”
“What thought?” Scott asked.
Abbie looked at him with cold eyes. “I’m going to die.”
“Do you have a way to prepare for that moment?” Grung asked.
Ab
bie looked at Lily. “I did. Now, I suppose you’ll just have to have faith that you can overcome that fear.”
Emotionally exhausted, Lily’s only thought was, She hates me.
“Oh well,” Abbie said, turning to Ellie. “No point in dwelling on a decision that is already made. Let’s focus on the basics.” She handed the cross to Ellie.
Ellie walked hesitantly up to the vampire’s body.
“Just think about the goodness that lives within you,” Abbie said. “If you need to think about your dead friends in Virginia Beach, think of them. If you need to believe the power is channeling straight from God, then embrace that belief. If bunnies and rainbows do it for you, then think of bunnies and rainbows.”
Ellie placed the cross on the vampire’s shoulder. The creature’s skin began to burn.
“Very good,” Abbie said. With a smirk, she added, “No pun intended.”
Ellie laughed as she pulled the cross away from the vampire.
“Give it to Grung,” Abbie said.
As Ellie handed the cross to Grung, he asked, “What did you think about?”
“You don’t want to know,” Ellie answered.
Grung stood over the creature’s body and took a deep breath. He placed the cross on its chest and sighed with relief when smoke began to float up from the creature’s burning skin.
“It’s really quite easy,” Abbie said. “All you have to do is believe.”
Scott was next. He took the cross and placed it on the vampire’s head.
Nothing happened.
“Ah,” Abbie said with a smile, “gotta love those agnostics.”
“I don’t understand,” Scott said. “If it’s just about believing, it should have worked. I just saw it happen. Twice. I have absolutely no doubt that it works.”
“It’s not about believing whether or not it will work,” Abbie said. “It’s not even about believing in God. It’s about accepting that evil exists. It’s not just some idea invented by rationalizing humans. It’s real. And after you accept that, you have to believe that good is just as real. And finally, you have to accept that good exists within you. It’s there, just waiting to be used.”
“That’s some lofty shit,” Scott said.
Abbie laughed. “It is. And it’s not really something I can teach. You have to come to it on your own. And don’t discount the possibility that you will never develop the ability to use power objects. I know a few Day Soldiers who have never learned this ability.”
“I’ll learn it,” Scott vowed with a determined voice.
“I believe you,” Abbie said with a smile. “As soon as you realize it has nothing to do with your religious beliefs, you’ll get it.”
Scott handed the cross to Lily. “Show us how it’s done, Chief.”
Lily took the cross and walked toward the dead vampire.
“For the others,” Abbie said, “it’s all about focusing their energy. For you, I think it’s the opposite.”
“What does that even mean,” Lily mumbled as she lowered the cross toward the creature’s forehead.
Nothing happened.
Scott smiled. “I feel better.”
“I don’t,” Lily said.
Abby stepped beside her and looked down at the vampire. “Your focus is on me. I have shaken your faith. You’re trying to prove that you can do this without hate.”
“I can,” Lily said.
“I believe you,” Abbie said. “But in your attempt to prove this to me, you are pushing away everything that gives you power. Leo, Iveyton, your parents. You’re pushing those thoughts away when you should be embracing them.”
“I’m afraid,” Lily whispered.
“Of what?”
Lily took a deep breath, surprised to find that she wanted to cry. “Of what I’ll become if I let myself go back there.”
“You killed your father,” Abbie said.
Lily looked at her. “I didn’t.”
“You drove a stake right through his heart,” Abbie countered.
“That wasn’t my father,” Lily said.
“Then why,” Abbie asked, “did you have to be the one to do it? Why didn’t you let Leo stake him? Was it because you hated the thing he had become?”
“No.”
“Then why did you have to be the one to do it?”
“Because I loved him.”
“That,” Abbie said, “doesn’t make sense. If the creature you staked wasn’t your father, then there was no reason for you to stake it. Unless you hated it for taking your father’s body.”
“I didn’t hate it,” Lily insisted. “I know you think I’m being stubborn here, but I’m telling you the truth. I didn’t hate that thing. I pitied it. I pitied this soulless monster that had stolen my father’s face.”
“Why did you pity it?” Abbie asked. “Did you not see it as an evil thing?”
“It was evil,” Lily said quietly. “And it wasn’t.”
“How can something be evil and not be evil at the same time?”
“It was just an open window,” Lily said, lost in the memory of that moment. “The creature before me wasn’t evil any more than a gun is evil. The creature was a portal through which evil was able to step into our world. And I wasn’t going to let the memory of my father be dishonored that way. I wasn’t going to let his body be a doorway to evil.”
“Touch the vampire again,” Abbie said.
Lily moved the cross toward the dead vampire.
Its skin began to burn before the cross touched it.
“What the hell?” Grung said from behind them.
Lily pulled the cross away, confused. She looked at Abbie. “I didn’t touch it.”
Abbie put a hand on her shoulder and smiled. “No,” she said, “you didn’t.”
Lily looked at the others. Grung and Ellie just stared back, shocked at what they’d just witnessed. Scott was simply smiling. He almost looked smug.
Abbie reached down and picked up a small rock. “Use this,” she said.
“I think you overestimate me,” Lily said.
“The object is only as meaningful as you allow it to be,” Abbie said. “Try. Do exactly what you just did.”
Lily took the rock and looked back down at the vampire. “I don’t know what I did before,” she said.
“You didn’t think,” Abbie said. “You didn’t try to burn it to spite me. You just let go of yourself.”
Lily took the rock and placed it on the creature’s head. Nothing happened.
“Stop thinking,” Abbie ordered. “You said this thing is a doorway to evil. I think that’s the best description I’ve ever heard, Lily. These things are not evil. But they are an open door to it. Become a doorway for good. You can do this.”
“I’m sorry,” Lily said. “I don’t know why it’s not working.”
“We have eight weeks,” Abbie said. She turned to the others. “Get some breakfast. We’ll meet in the alley across the street in exactly thirty minutes. We’re going to stop using this alley.”
“Why?” Grung asked.
Abbie pointed at the dead vampire. “When he starts to rot, it’s going to stink. Badly.”
“You’re not taking him with you,” Lily said.
“Of course not,” Abbie said. “I have no use for a dead vampire. When you’re in the field, you’ll have to deal with this same thing. You want the body gone, you dispose of it.”
Ellie raised her hand. “Excuse me.”
Abbie chuckled. “Yes, child?”
“I have a question I’d like to ask before breakfast,” Ellie said. “I don’t have anything to write with, and I’m afraid I’ll forget.”
“Sure,” Abbie said. “What’s your question?”
“Why don’t crosses work on werewolves?” Ellie asked. “I mean, if what you say is true about these objects channeling good to fight evil, shouldn’t crosses
work on werewolves too?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” Abbie said.
Ellie looked slightly embarrassed. “Apparently not.”
“Power objects don’t work on werewolves,” Abbie explained, “because werewolves are not evil.”
***
Breakfast consisted of more canned food from Ellie’s kitchen raid the night before. They decided to eat in the alley across the street because Scott had become convinced he could already smell the dead vampire. Although they asked her to join them, Abbie stayed in the original alley.
“I don’t understand,” Ellie said as she ate a spoonful of peas. “If werewolves aren’t evil, why are we at war with them?”
“You’re seriously asking that?” Grung said. “Do you think every German in the Second World War was evil? Do you think every Confederate soldier in the Civil War was evil? Wars almost never involve killing evil things.”
“I think that’s why we’re covering vampires first,” Scott said. “Killing a vampire isn’t… murky.”
“I think you’re both wrong,” Ellie said. “I saw what werewolves can do. They’re every bit as evil as vampires.”
“No,” Scott said flatly. “The werewolves who killed your friends were evil, but werewolves – as a species – are not inherently evil. They’re like humans. They have a choice. There are evil werewolves, of course, and there are good werewolves. I would think you, of all people, would know that.”
“Why would I know that?” Ellie asked. “I saw werewolves slaughter an entire beach of human beings.”
“And you were saved by a werewolf,” Scott said. He looked genuinely confused.
“I’m confused,” Lily said. “I don’t remember her saying a werewolf saved her. Is this from your research department computer or something?”
Scott looked around at the other three. “No. You people seriously don’t know what I’m talking about.”
“I know I don’t,” Lily admitted.
“Wallace,” Scott said. “I thought that was common knowledge.”
“Wait,” Grung said. “Are you seriously suggesting Wallace is a werewolf?”
Scott shrugged. “I’m not suggesting it. I’m telling you outright. Wallace is a werewolf. How do you people not know this?”
“We’re not all intelligence specialists,” Lily said.
“I gotta admit,” Grung said, “I’m finding this hard to believe.”
“Why?” Scott said. “What do you think werewolves did before the war? They were just people. Teachers, lawyers, politicians, and, yeah, they were soldiers. When the war started, not all werewolves agreed with it. Several of them defected. You mentioned World War II. You think every German supported the Nazi party? This was no different.”
