That southern accent came out in full force, and in that moment, I fell a little bit more for Lincoln Pratt.
“I’d say he did,” I replied with a chuckle. “I’m beginning to think you’re more on the country side than a city girl.”
Her face beamed. “Well, if you’re asking me if I know how to ride, I most certainly do. It’s been a while—a long while—but I’m positive I’m still good at it.”
I swallowed hard, trying not to notice how my dick was straining against my jeans again.
“You’re talking about horses, right?” I asked, my voice a tad shaky.
Her lips pursed tight, and she shrugged before turning her attention to the attendant, who was handing her a giant stuffed dog.
Laughing, I stepped closer and pressed my mouth to her ear. “You’re a very naughty girl for doing that to me.”
She smiled and pulled back to look into my eyes. “Payback from earlier in the truck, Mr. Shaw.”
We both fell into a lust-induced trance.
“Why are you staring at each other and not talking?” Blayze asked.
Lincoln cleared her throat while she hugged the dog a little closer.
“Where to now, buddy?” I asked.
“The merry-go-round!”
As Lincoln and I walked next to each other, I couldn’t shake the feeling I had in my chest. Was that excitement? Desire? Lust? All I knew was I was confused. I liked Lincoln; there was no denying it. But why did I like her? Because she was different from the other women in this town? Or was it because, the first time I’d laid eyes on her, I’d felt something zip through my body that I’d never experienced before?
At the time, it’d pissed me off that I’d had a reaction to her. The woman who’d bought the house where I was supposed to raise a family had moved in, won the hearts of my son and my family, and made me want to kiss her the moment I met her. The last thing I’d wanted was to let someone in.
“I want the elephant,” Blayze declared.
I reached my hand out for Lincoln and helped her up onto the ride. “Any certain one you want?”
She gave me a sheepish grin. “The pink horse.”
I laughed. “Pink horse it is.”
Blayze’s elephant just happened to be right in front of the two horses Lincoln and I climbed up on. As the music began and we started to go around, I couldn’t help but watch her. The way she and Blayze talked back and forth with each other. The way she laughed and let herself enjoy the moment. It was refreshing.
My mind drifted back to a memory between Kaci and me.
“This is stupid, Brock.”
Her words felt like a slap in the face.
“I thought you might like coming to the carnival. You used to like it.”
She scoffed. “Yeah, when I was ten. I’m a grown woman now, and I have no interest in this.”
“How about if I try to win you something?”
Her frown dropped slightly. When we’d been kids, Kaci always loved it when I won her the giant stuffed animals.
“I want the pink flamingo,” she demanded, hands on hips and everything.
“Pink flamingo it is.”
Taking her hand in mine, I guided us through the sea of people over to the ring toss.
It didn’t take long before I was handing Kaci a giant pink flamingo. Her smile was the first genuine smile I’d seen in a long time. I knew the stress of me being on the road all the time was getting to her.
“Did you cheat to win that thing?”
Kaci’s eyes lit up at the sound of Dirk’s voice. She turned and rushed over to him. “Brock didn’t say you were back in town too!”
Dirk grinned down at my wife like he was looking into the gates of heaven. I pretended it didn’t bother me that he was still just as much in love with her as I was.
Frowning, I carefully watched them.
“I’ve missed you, ya big dork. Are you being careful?”
Dirk nodded. “Always.”
It struck me then that Kaci had said the very same thing to me this morning.
Dirk looked my way. Seeing the look on my face, he took a few steps back.
It was then that Kaci faced me. She put a huge smile on her face and said, “I’m so happy to have both my guys back. It feels right.”
The memory left what felt like an ache in the center of my chest. Kaci had told me that night that she wanted a baby. I thought it was too soon. Plus, I couldn’t get the image out of my head of her looking at Dirk the way she had.
We were rushing with the baby; looking back, I could see that. Rushing for all the wrong reasons. I gave Kaci what she wanted because that was what I always did. Kaci had wanted me to take her to prom our senior year, so I’d taken her instead of Lucy Mae. I wasn’t dating Lucy then, but we had talked about going together. Kaci had wanted me to take her to New York City to see a ballet, so I had. Kaci wanted me to tell Dirk we were dating, so I did.
There wasn’t anything I wouldn’t have done for her. And I’d been completely blind to how manipulative she had been. Why? Because I had been so in love with her? Or because I didn’t want her to leave me for Dirk?
Jesus. Either way, I was still fucked up in the head over her.
The sound of Lincoln laughing pulled me from my thoughts. My eyes looked past her to see Dirk standing there, watching us. He raised his hand and waved. I did the same.
A feeling of sickness and déjà vu washed over me. I needed to push it aside. This wasn’t Kaci; Dirk wasn’t in love with Lincoln.
“Brock? Brock?”
My eyes snapped back to Lincoln. “Yeah? Sorry, I was lost in a thought.”
She raised her brows. “I’d say. You looked like you were a million miles away.”
“I was,” I stated, looking back at Dirk, who was now talking to someone. “Listen, how about we head on out of here and go get something to eat?”
Her eyes grew big. “You mean, like real food and not something full of grease and on a stick?”
I laughed. “Yeah, real food.”
The merry-go-round ride ended, and we got off. Blayze informed me he had to try one more time at shooting ducks before we could leave. As Dirk walked up to us, I asked Lincoln if she wouldn’t mind taking him, since I needed to talk to Dirk.
“Sure, I don’t mind at all.”
When I reached into my wallet, she slapped my hand away.
“Please, you’ve been paying all day. I’ve got this.”
I watched them walk away, Blayze lifting his hand and slipping it into Lincoln’s. The sight made my chest squeeze with something that felt like . . . happiness. That was something I didn’t feel that often anymore.
“So, rumors around town are true?”
“What do you mean?” I asked, focusing on my best friend.
“Seems like the latest rumor mill is talking about you and the new city girl dating.”
I laughed. “I’ve only known her a few days. She’s nice, and Blayze likes her.”
He nodded and rubbed his chin before throwing me a wink. “Blayze likes her. Okay, let’s go with that.”
“I thought you were leaving to head to Billings today.”
“Thought I would stick around for a bit. Dad is working on that car. It was nice, hanging in the shop with him last night, just working on that piece of shit and drinking some beer.”
I smiled. “Yeah, I’m sure they’re glad you’re home.”
He nodded.
“I need to ask you something, Dirk.”
Facing me, he smiled. “How to stay on a bull for eight seconds?”
I smirked. “Hardly. This is, um . . . this is serious, though, and I really need you to tell me the truth.”
His smile faded, and he looked back toward where Lincoln and Blayze were.
“Did Kaci ever tell you she wished we hadn’t gotten married?”
Dirk swallowed hard before he looked down at the ground. My heart was beating a mile a minute. When he finally looked up at me, I realized I had b
een holding my breath.
“No, she loved you, Brock.”
“But?” I added, feeling like there was one coming.
“But nothing, dude. I won’t deny I tried talking her out of marrying you, and she told me once she hoped she hadn’t made a mistake.”
My stomach turned, and a wave of nausea hit me. I got that he had been in love with her, but he had also been my best friend. Hearing he’d tried to talk Kaci out of marrying me almost left me feeling betrayed. “A mistake?”
Dirk didn’t look at me.
“Did she mean by marrying me?”
He finally met my eyes. “Nah, dude. I know she loved us both, but she loved you more.”
“And you loved her more.”
“We don’t know that.”
“You would have given up bull riding and stayed with her. Made the home she wanted.”
He shook his head. “She wanted you more than she wanted me. At the time it was hard for me to deal with that, and I feel bad about that, dude. I honestly do.”
I rubbed the back of my neck and sighed. “I knew how much you loved her, and I didn’t step aside. I wanted her too, and the thought of you having her . . .”
“Brock, it’s in the past. Let’s just leave it there.”
My chin wobbled slightly. “I loved Kaci.”
“I don’t doubt that. She picked you, and I tried like hell to accept it the best I could at the time.”
I looked away. My gaze landed on Lincoln. “I think I loved the idea of me and Kaci. I don’t know if it was the type of love needed to make a marriage work. I knew that, but I wanted her more than I was willing to let her go. I’m sorry I didn’t step aside.”
He shook his head. “She made the choice between us, and I know you loved her, Brock. Don’t try and compare how you loved her with how I did. It’s not going to make you feel any better.”
“I tried to make her happy, Dirk. Damn, I tried so hard to make her happy, but I always fell short.”
He nodded. “She knew what she was getting into when she married you. She knew how much you loved bull riding. Truth be told, I’m not so sure either one of us would have been able to keep her happy.”
Dirk’s words hit me so hard I took a few steps back. I hadn’t ever let myself think of it that way.
“Daddy! I won! I won!”
Blayze rushed back over to me with Lincoln in tow, skidding to a stop to say hi to Dirk.
“Hey, Uncle Dirk! Look what I won!” He held up a plastic cage that contained one lizard.
“Wow, look at you, winning a lizard. That’s pretty awesome, Blayze.” Dirk shook his head and laughed while rustling the hair on top of my son’s head. When he looked back at me, he nodded. It was his way of saying no matter what problems Kaci and I may have had, Blayze was a product of our love. There was no denying that.
“What do you think about our small town, Miss Pratt?” Dirk asked Lincoln.
She grinned. “Please call me Lincoln, and I love it! The mountains alone are enough to make a girl want to stay.”
Dirk laughed and then looked at me and winked. “I’ll let you guys enjoy the rest of your day. You going to the dance?”
“Yeah, we’re going to get something to eat, and then we’ll be heading that way,” I quickly said.
Dirk faced Lincoln. “Save this cowboy a dance, will ya?”
“Um, sure,” she replied, her cheeks turning a soft pink.
“See ya later, Blayze.”
“Bye, Uncle Dirk!”
A few friends of Blayze’s ran up to check out his new lizard. Before I knew it, plans were made to have a campout at Billy’s house.
“May I go, Dad? You can pick me up early in the morning, and we can go fishin’.”
With a grin, I leaned down and asked, “What about a bag with some clothes in it?”
“Hey, Brock!”
I glanced up to see Jan, Billy’s mama, standing there. “Hi, Jan.”
“I hear the boys are planning a camp-over.”
Standing, I blew out a breath. “I guess so. You sure you’re okay with it? We’ll have to run back to the house and pack him a bag.”
Jan waved her hand to dismiss that. “Nonsense. Blayze can just wear something of Billy’s.”
I smiled. “Oh, okay. Well, good. I’ll be by in the morning to get him to take him fishing.”
She nodded and peeked over to Lincoln.
“Oh, hell, I’m sorry. Jan, this is Lincoln Pratt. She moved here from Atlanta and is going to be working with Karen Johnson.”
“So, you’re the famous interior designer from the big city? Karen has been talking nonstop about you.”
Lincoln’s face flushed, and it was cuter than hell. She reached out and shook Jan’s hand. “Well, that is very sweet of her, but I’m not famous.”
“Bullhocky! I heard you designed the governor of Georgia’s country house.”
My head jerked to stare at Lincoln.
“Yes, that’s true,” Lincoln answered, her voice low.
“And Karen said you helped design the house of some famous actress . . . oh, what’s her name?”
I continued to stare at Lincoln as she gave me a timid look of embarrassment.
“It starts with an S. Sandra Bullock! That’s who it was.”
“You designed Sandra Bullock’s house?”
“Well, she designed one of them. Which one was it?” Jan asked, moving in closer to Lincoln.
“I, um . . . well, I . . . nondisclosure and all.”
Jan nodded. “Oh, I understand. Those bigwigs like throwing their weight around like that. Well, all I can say is, we’re lucky here in Hamilton to have you, Lincoln. Did you see what I did there? The presidents’ names and all?” Jan tossed her head back and laughed like she’d just said the funniest thing ever.
Lincoln let out a nervous laugh. “I saw. That was a good one.”
“We’d better get going. You guys enjoy the rest of your afternoon and evening!”
“Blayze!” I shouted before he ran off too far. “Kiss and hug?”
“Right, Dad!”
“Dad . . . did you hear him call me Dad? What happened to Daddy?” I asked Lincoln.
After a quick hug and a kiss for me, Blayze turned to Lincoln and wrapped his arms around her legs. “Bye, Miss Lincoln!”
She returned the hug. “See ya around, Blayze.”
And, just like that, Lincoln Pratt and I were alone, and Lord only knew what sort of trouble that could mean.
Chapter Eleven
LINCOLN
Easy conversation flowed between me and Brock as he drove us to an Italian restaurant in the middle of the small town square. It felt as if I had known him for months. He wasn’t the same guy from a few days ago who had acted like a complete jerk. Although I could tell something was bothering him, especially after the conversation he’d had with his friend Dirk.
“So, what made you move to Hamilton, Montana?” Brock asked.
“Well, I was tired of Atlanta. Tired of the hot summers, tired of my parents trying to run my life for me. If it were up to them, I’d be married with two point five kids now.”
Brock laughed. “They’re controlling? Like how?”
I took in a deep breath and blew it out. “I wanted to be an interior designer since before I could remember. Before I even got out of college, I was hired on with one of the best design firms in Atlanta. I was stupid and naive to think I had done it on my own merit. My father had gotten me the job; I just hadn’t known at the time. He owns an investment firm in Atlanta, so he knows a lot of . . . influential people.”
“He has some power?”
“You could say that. After a while, he wasn’t happy that his little girl was playing second fiddle in this company, so he bought a building for my twenty-fourth birthday and told me it was mine. I could start my own business. At first, I was excited and ready to take on the challenge. Unfortunately, my father wasn’t as keen on me slowly growing the business, so he brought business
to me . . . by way of bribing people to use me instead of anyone else in Atlanta. It took me some time to figure it out, but eventually I did. The whole governor’s summerhouse and all.”
Brock smiled.
“Needless to say, I was devastated, and I started to question my own talent.”
“Damn, what was he thinking?”
With a half shrug, I replied, “He was doing what he’s always done. In my father’s eyes, I’ve never really been quite capable of doing things on my own. If I wanted to try and build a piece of furniture myself, he’d tell me I shouldn’t. I needed someone to do it for me, and before I knew it, there was a carpenter ready to build me whatever I wanted. Stupid things like that.”
I felt a sadness in my heart that I hadn’t felt since I’d sold my old design firm. “Anyway, I knew that I had to make a major change. That meant leaving Atlanta and proving not only to myself but to my parents that I could do this on my own. I started putting out my résumé. I uploaded it to a website, and Karen Johnson contacted me. Told me she was from a small town in Montana and that her business was growing, especially in Billings, which was a few hours away. She needed to be able to travel and have someone here in Hamilton. At first, she didn’t want to contact me because she thought I would turn her down, but the moment I read her email, I knew this was what I wanted.”
Brock pulled into the parking lot and found a spot to park. “You’re not sad about leaving your family behind?”
I shrugged. “I am, but this feels right. It’s something different and beautiful. I can walk outside, take in a deep breath, and feel the excitement of starting over coursing through my blood. In Atlanta, I felt like I was always suffocating. Between my folks, the business, the traffic . . . I needed something new. Not to mention, I feared for my life if I was out alone at night. Here, it’s just the opposite.”
“You don’t think you’ll get tired of being out in the middle of nowhere and want to go back?”
I got the feeling that he was asking me not purely as an innocent question. There was something more to it. I wanted to ask him if the question had a deeper meaning, but I didn’t. I promised him I wouldn’t be nosy, and I truly didn’t want to seem like I was dissecting his every word to me.
“No. This is where I want to be, where I want to raise a family someday, and I can get back into riding here. I thought it might be fun to even teach horseback riding in the future.”
Never Enough Page 10
