I was tired of it, though. There was no way I could’ve had a healthy pregnancy with the stress of all the lies weighing me down.
I just prayed that when it was all over, Stefan didn’t hate me for it.
“Cut it out, the both of you!” Emma snapped over our raging parents, quieting them. “All that yelling isn’t going to solve a thing. The poor girl is obviously traumatized and in a fragile state.” She turned her cool gaze on me, and once again, I was filled with surprise at how calm she was considering the mega-fuck bomb I’d just dropped. In a soothing, calming voice, she asked, “How did this happen, Bella?”
I told them everything—about the sorority contest, the Sacrifice, and the mistaken identity that caused Stefan and me to sleep together, and then, finally, about the school’s investigation.
“And that’s why we left,” I said as I got done. “We’d caused too much trouble on campus with the fight Stefan had with his frat brother, and the rumors were getting too much to bear. A bunch of the frat boys really were harassing me though.”
“You have got to be kidding me!” my mother wailed when I was done with my tale, clutching at her hair in despair. “Tell me this is all some kind of sick joke? Please! How in the hell could you and Stefan have not recognized each other?”
The same way you didn’t recognize us fucking on the TV screen at the party, I thought. You didn’t want to believe it.
“I don’t know,” I said weakly.
“Well you had better fucking find out!” Terry snapped, still rubbing at his throat. His face was livid as he glanced back and forth between me and Stefan. I don’t think I could remember a time Terry had ever been this mad at me before. “Because I don’t want to believe that either of you knowingly did this.”
Shivering, I glanced over at Stefan for help. He had his jaw clenched, a sign that he was about to boil over. I feared that if things kept escalating, he’d wind up back rolling on the floor with Terry, trading blows, and this time, none of us would be able to stop it.
“No, Terry. I can only tell you that I’ve always loved Stefan,” I said, somehow finding strength inside me. Now that I’d revealed our secret, it was like a floodgate had been opened inside me, and I couldn’t stop talking, whether they were mad or not. “For a very long time now. I fought against it as hard as I could, but it’s true.”
My mother’s gaze flickered back and forth between her mother and Terry. “Are you guys hearing this?” she demanded incredulously. She looked back at me, a sick look on her face. “Is this some kind of rebellious game you’re playing, Bella? Please, please tell me it is, because I can’t imagine what I have done to deserve this.”
My mother shook her head in denial, and despite the situation, I held in a laugh. My mother spoke as if our actions hurt only her and not Terry too. “You can’t really be pregnant. I can’t believe it. I can’t. Did Bella force all of this on you, Stefan? Is this all some sort of scheme she made up to get back at me?”
Anger welled up within me. I resented the insinuation that all of this was my fault, that I’d somehow seduced Stefan and made him my slave who would do anything I said. As if I really wanted this clusterfuck in my life right now. I mean, who would?
Get over yourself, Mom.
My mother stared at her stepson expectantly, a hopeful look on her face.
Stefan returned her gaze with his arms crossed across his powerful chest, his gaze unflinching.
“Stefan?” Terry asked, finally letting go of his throat. The redness Stefan had caused by choking him was finally going away, but it looked like he was ready to fight again. “Answer your stepmother.”
“No,” Stefan said finally. “None of this was Bella’s idea. I made her lie to you both about everything.” He glanced over at me and swallowed. “And I feel the same way about her. I love her. I always have.”
All hope in my mother’s face died and she doubled over as if she’d been punched in the stomach, twisting slightly to the side. “Good God, Terry, they’re killing me.”
Fire raged in Terry’s eyes as he appraised Stefan and me with fury. “I paid good money to see you both off to college,” he growled, his voice low and threatening, “and this is how you repay me? Look at all the mess you two have created for our family!”
Stefan and I exchanged glances, Stefan’s of defiant anger and mine of shame.
Neither of us could offer an answer to Terry. How could we? There was no excuse for what we did.
Stefan and I stood there for the next five minutes, being endlessly berated by Terry, accompanied by an occasional whine from my mother, and we were unable to offer any kind of rebuttal to his furious tirade.
Several times, I attempted to try to speak up in our defense, but Terry would not hear of it. He was on a roll.
Finally, Stefan could take no more. “Will you shut the fuck up already?” he yelled.
Terry froze in his tracks, visibly trembling, eyeing his son with murder. I knew then that we were two seconds away from disaster, and I placed a restraining hand on Stefan’s arm.
Stefan swallowed back anger and calmed slightly as he gazed at his dad challengingly. “Look, we already told you everything that happened. Yes, we’ve always had feelings for each other, but we didn’t recognize each other on the first night we had sex. You guys can either believe us or don’t, but I’m not going to stand here any longer listening to this bullshit. Yeah, I knocked Bella up. Accept it and move on,” Stefan growled, “or get the fuck out of my apartment.”
I hoped that his powerful declaration would settle things. Instead, roaring with rage, Terry rushed forward, intent on murdering the insolent Stefan with his bare hands.
Bella
“Terry, stop!” Emma shouted.
Terry pulled back just before colliding with Stefan as Emma calmly stepped in between them. “No more violence. All you’re going to gain is a swift trip to the ER and land Stefan a seat in the local jail cell.”
Terry bristled visibly at being told what to do by my grandma, but she stood her ground, unperturbed. Finally, Terry let out a disgusted huff and stepped away, muttering something under his breath about ‘meddling old women’.
Though he tried to hide it, I saw relief flash in Stefan’s eyes as Terry backed down.
Emma glanced once at Stefan, making sure he wasn’t planning any other inflammatory statements. Satisfied, she nodded and turned her gaze on me.
“How far along are you?” she asked me. In her eyes, I saw compassion and understanding and I was almost moved to tears.
I glanced down at my stomach. “About 12 or so weeks.”
Relief swept through my grandmother’s face. “Good, maybe we can—”
“Get rid of it.”
My mother’s cold words cut through me like a knife and I stared at her with horror.
“What?” I gasped. Beside me, I felt Stefan stiffen in anger.
My mother’s face was emotionless as she returned my stare, as if she’d been shocked into numbness. “Get rid of the baby. The sooner the better.”
“How can you say that?” It was hard to draw air into my lungs. The life growing inside me was my mother’s soon-to-be-grandchild. I couldn’t believe that she could so callously dismiss its potential chance at life just because the father was Stefan.
Her voice was firm and even. “You have your whole life ahead of you. Why throw it all away on a foolish mistake? The love you two claim to feel for each other is not real. It can’t be, so stop pretending that it is. You're both just confused.”
I couldn’t believe it. It was as if our secret had put my mother into total denial. “Come on, now,” my mom urged, holding her hand out to me as I stood there in a horrified daze. “I’ll take you to the clinic myself.”
“Listen to your mother, Bella,” Terry added, as if someone asked for his fucking input. “It would be best for you to do it now before it’s too late to do anything about it.”
I couldn't find the strength for a response, my knees incred
ibly weak. They wanted to kill my baby—Our baby. It wasn't fair.
“Don't you think you two are being just a little too harsh on Bella?” Emma asked.
“No,” my parents responded in unison.
Emma gave a pleading look to my mother. “I love Bella dearly, and I want what's best for her just like you do, but she's an adult. She can make her own decision.”
My mother scowled at Emma. “How can you defend this? You, most of all, should be outraged by what's happened here!”
“Because it's happened before,” Emma replied calmly in the face of Mother's wrath.
No wonder she's been so calm this whole time, I thought. She's totally used to this.
That gave Mom pause, a look of bewilderment twisting her features. “What are you talking about?”
Emma nodded gravely. “Your own union with Terry is one such an example. You know, Terry is Baron's nephew . . . my nephew.”
Mom rolled her eyes. “Oh please, Mother, that isn't even close to the same thing. Terry and I were grown with children of our own already!”
“Even still, they're not blood related. It may be frowned upon, but it's not that big of a deal, Evelyn.”
Mom growled and turned back to me. “Come, Bella. You don't have to make a decision today, but at least let us go talk to a counselor about this. I'll help you through the entire process.”
Abortion. The thought sizzled inside my brain like bacon in a frying pan. It was something I'd tried not to think about, but it had loomed in the back of my mind like the boogie man.
Now the boogie man had been let out.
Before I could reply, Stefan stepped in front of me. “Bella isn't going anywhere,” he announced flatly. There was none of the insolence, none of the smart mouth that had been in his voice only minutes before. Instead, there was just a rock-solid determination, an unwavering belief in what he was saying, in us and in our baby. In that instant, I watched as Stefan truly became a man. “And you can quit trying to convince her that she should terminate the pregnancy. We're having the baby, and that's final.”
“Listen to what you're saying, son,” Terry advised. “You want to have a baby with Bella, Stefan? With Bella. Your stepsister.”
Stefan nodded. “I do. And?”
Terry hissed with exasperation. “And what do you expect will happen when you have the baby and people find out that you are the father, huh? Do you know what kind of shame that will bring down upon our family? Or the damage it will do my reputation?”
Stefan shrugged to say it didn’t matter. “Who cares? It's no one's business but ours,” he said quickly when Terry's face grew red with rage. “Bring on the world. I’ll tell it the same thing. I love Bella, and I’m glad she’s having my baby.”
Before Terry could explode, my grandmother saved us all again. “I know how we can keep things safe and secure—for now, at least,” she suggested, surprising everyone in the room. “Make sure that Bella’s baby is born healthy and in a good home, and that you’ll both have futures.”
Though my parents looked appalled, Stefan looked intrigued and gave Emma a slight nod. “Go on.”
“Let Bella come back with me to the Livingston manor. She can stay there in complete privacy. Meanwhile, you can return to school and resume your sports career, satisfying your father in the process.” My grandma gave me a warm smile. “You would so enjoy the estate now. Your grandfather has done several renovations since you last visited.”
Memories of playing with Stefan on the estate grounds with green grass that spanned several acres flashed through my mind, and warmth spread throughout my chest.
At Emma's suggestion, a thoughtful expression showed on at least Terry's face, but Stefan was immediately shaking his head. “Thanks, Grandma Em, but I can't do that. Bella will be staying with me. I'm not going to leave her on her own.”
For the first time since I could remember, my mother seemed to grow angry with Stefan. “You promised me, Stefan,” she growled, her voice choking with emotion. “You promised me that you would take care of Bella . . . and I trusted you. I believed in you. I thought you really cared about Bella’s best interests. Now this?”
Stefan looked ashamed, but still, he was man enough, proud enough to stand up for what he did. “I know, and I’m sorry, Evelyn—”
My mother raised a sharp finger to cut off his reply. “You're not fit to speak for Bella. She doesn’t need you controlling her every move at a time like this. What she needs is someone to talk sense into her about the huge mistake she is about to make with her life.” My mother turned to me. “Bella, sweetheart, honey, please listen to me. I don't know if Stefan is controlling you, or what is really going on here, but I need you to understand that once you go through with this decision to have the baby, there is no turning back. Please let me take you where we can discuss all the options available to you.”
You don't care about my options, I wanted to scream at my mother. You just want me to kill the baby.
A black cloud seemed to press down on my chest and it became hard to breathe.
Surprisingly, Emma spoke up on the side of my mother. “Stefan, you must let Bella decide. You're not helping the situation by making life-altering decisions for her. If you really love her as you say, you'll let her have some freedom.”
Stefan stared at Emma for a long time before nodding in acceptance and stepped away from me. “You’re right. This is Bella’s decision here. I'll let Bella decide what she wants to do if that will make you all shut up. Bella?”
He turned to me, his eyes full of hope and love, and a little bit of fear as well, fear that I’d go with my mom, but he knew he had to trust me now. “What do you want to do? Do you want to stay with me or go with them?”
My answer was immediate. Sure, we’d made a lot of mistakes. We should have come clean on this as soon as things started going to hell. But standing there, his eyes shining with new-found maturity and the love they contained, I knew all my worries in the past were phantoms, and I needed to trust him as much as he was trusting me.
“I'm staying with Stefan,” I said after I found the spit to moisten my dry mouth. “I don't want to go anywhere or talk to a counselor because I plan on having the baby . . . no matter what.”
Stefan let out a sigh of relief, and our parents began laying into me again, trying to make me see reason. Mom was worried about some mythical future, about a social reputation. Terry was thinking about his company and the family name. Neither of them said one thing about Stefan or me. It pissed me off. They were thinking only about themselves.
“That's enough,” Stefan said loudly over them after they'd started repeating themselves, and he could see I was about to scream at them. “You heard Bella's decision. She isn't giving up the baby, no matter how hard you browbeat her otherwise. Now that the issue is finally settled, if you can’t respect her decision as an adult, you can all just leave.”
Our parents resumed yelling, calling Stefan out on how hypocritical he was, but Emma interrupted them.
“You heard Stefan. He wants us to leave. I know it irks you both as their parents to be kicked out, but they are adults and this whole thing is going nowhere.” She glanced uneasily between Stefan and Terry. “Lord knows, we don't want another fight to break out.”
“You heard Grandma,” Stefan reinforced, pointing at the front door. “Go.”
Emma walked over to the front door and held it open, motioning to my parents. “Come on, you two. There is nothing left we can do for now.”
Mom glared at us both for a long while before throwing up her hands in exasperation. “Fine!”
Shaking her head, she walked out of the apartment, not deigning to throw me a second glance. Grandma, however, paused at the door, giving us an appraising look. I wondered—it had been so long since we’d spent a lot of time together. Just how much wisdom, how much did I miss not going to see her before? She nodded once, and while she didn’t smile, she wasn’t pissed off, either. She was worried, but still, there wa
s a look of respect in her eyes when she saw Stefan come over and put his arm around my shoulders, and I wrapped my arms around his waist.
“The invitation to come out to the estate is still there. Goodbye for now, you two.”
“Bye, Grandma,” we said in unison.
Stefan
“I can’t believe what just happened,” Bella said quietly when our parents were gone. “That was the most embarrassing thing ever.”
Her arms were crossed across her chest, and she stood there in her short shorts and tattered crop top, looking vulnerable. She looked so beautiful to me in that moment, so sweet. I held out my hand, and she clasped it, letting me pull her into an embrace.
“I know it was tough,” I whispered, knowing it was the understatement of the century but not wanting to dredge up the bad shit that had just happened. “But in some ways, I’m glad it’s finally in the light of day.”
“Why didn’t you lock the door?” Bella demanded, her voice sharp. “Jesus, Stefan, if we had just locked the damn door!”
The me that I’d been even a few hours before would have gotten pissed off. Hell, maybe I was still pissed off, but I was so over the line that I didn’t know it. Instead, I hugged her tighter, holding her close. “Whatever the reason, it doesn’t matter. Bella, you don’t know how much it meant to me when you said you’d stay.”
Bella swallowed, looking down. “I’m sorry.”
It wasn’t the answer I was expecting. “What do you mean, sorry? Bella, in that one answer, you told me that you loved me, that we’re doing the right thing, and that somehow, for all the fuckups I’ve made, you’ve still got faith in me. I promise you, when I figure out how we’re going to get out of this—”
Bella held up her hand. “Stop right there, Stefan.”
I was confused and tilted my head. “Stop what?”
Bella looked up at me with a hint of her old fire, the same light that I’d taken for bitchiness, the same desire for power that she’d only shown flashes of since we found out she was pregnant. “Stefan, I love you. And I’ve learned over the time we’ve been together that I like taking care of you. Hell, I like cooking you breakfast and washing your funky ass socks. But I can’t just sit back and let you do everything. Now, I understand that you want to work to save me some physical stress, but we can’t do it alone anymore. You can’t just expect me to sit here on my rapidly expanding ass while you figure things out by yourself! I’ve got a brain too, you know!”
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