I rose to my feet, holding back the violent urge to jump across my dad’s desk. “This is the last time we’ll discuss this issue,” I said with a face blank of emotion, and then I turned and walked out of his office.
The last I heard was my dad yelling, “You’re making a mistake, Stefan!”
Maybe. But I’d make a bigger mistake in doing what he wanted.
Bella
"What did he say?" I asked when Stefan returned later that day.
I was in the midst of dusting the furniture, still dressed in those shorts that always got him going. It helped me deal with the stress of everything, keeping the apartment clean, and I knew Stefan liked it when I cleaned up in skimpy outfits. Besides, his eyes roaming over me reassured me and helped me feel sexy.
“What I expected,” he said, walking over and flopping down on the couch. He looked exhausted, and I could understand why. “I'm ruining my life, your life, his and Evelyn's, and I'm going to regret it, blah, blah, blah. That shit.”
I set down my duster on the armrest of the love seat and stared at him. There was something he wasn’t telling me, and I knew the best way to get him to talk was to just wait him out. Stefan was still getting used to sharing all his thoughts with me, and he shifted around a little before I raised an eyebrow. “And?”
“And he wants to get me to come work at his company again, this time as his right hand man, or return to school to resume my sports career.”
Sports career. It was something that had been on my mind too, honestly. “I see.”
Stefan slid over on the sofa, pulling me into his arms with a shake of his head and a smile. “Don't worry, I told him no, of course. I mainly went to let him know in no uncertain terms that I'm going to be with you no matter what.”
“Okay.”
Stefan pulled back and held me at arm’s length. “Is something wrong?”
I shrugged, for the first time in a while feeling like I was the one with something to hide. “No, everything is fine.”
“Come on, Bella,” he growled, obviously frustrated. “Don't give me that. Something is wrong. Now tell me what it is.”
I put a hand on my stomach, trying to find the words. “Stefan, you know I love you, and I know you’ve said that you don’t want to go back to sports if it means leaving me—leaving us—but I feel like I’m denying you your chance at greatness. Dammit, Stefan, you’re not meant to be some working class schlump! You’re Stefan Livingston, goddammit, and that means you’re special!”
Stefan blinked, stunned at the heat in my voice, and when he spoke again, it was almost as if he sounded amused. “Special, huh? If there’s any reason that I’m special, Bella, it’s because of you. Any idiot with good hand-eye coordination and enough dedication can make it to professional lacrosse. It’s not like the fucking NBA. If I’m going to be special, though, I want to be a special man. And that means I take care of you, like a man.”
“I want you to be both,” I whisper, shaking my head. “I want you to have it all.”
I let Stefan gather me into his arms, where he kissed my neck tenderly before whispering in my ear. “With you, Bella, I do have it all. We’ll make it, I promise you.”
“Together?” I asked, and he nodded, his breath tickling my ear and making me hot inside.
“Together. Now, I’ve got an idea. Would you like to go out to eat?" Stefan asked.
"I thought we were supposed to be conserving money until you got a job?" I asked, trying to keep my mind from just asking him to take me right there on the love seat. Sex is good, but I didn’t need to have an orgasm from him every time stress entered my life.
“We are, but you’ve been in a bad mood lately. Today’s been a shitty day with what my dad tried to pull, and I want to do something to lift your spirits. A day out of the house will do you some good.”
It was so tempting. We hadn’t been getting out of the house much, and I know that some of my stress was because I was going stir crazy. Every phone call from my mother made me jump, even if I wasn’t answering. The hypothetical conversations would run around and around in my head for hours afterward instead. And we were getting to the point where I was pinching every penny, checking when we went to the market not for the best tasting foods or the foods that Stefan and I liked, but the foods that we wouldn’t hate and would be the cheapest. Basically, it sucked.
Stefan nuzzled my neck, which was about the only reason I wasn’t jumping up out of his lap. Let him think I needed a little more convincing. His lips and touch felt damn good. “C’mon, Bella, I can’t have you moping around like you have been these past few days. It’s starting to bring me down too.” He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me closer, his breath tickling my ear. “Although, if you want to wait on dinner . . .”
Immediately, I was enveloped by his body heat and I melted into his arms. My pulse began to race in my throat as I felt his cock through his jeans pressed up against my ass.
Stefan lowered his lips to my neck, setting my skin ablaze. My lips parted into a sigh in response. I couldn't believe I’d thought we could stop from jumping each other constantly. He practically oozed sex, but I wanted to not be seen as a slut. But with Stefan, who cared if I was? He was my man, I was his woman, and the way his hand felt as he started rubbing my stomach, I didn’t care if I was a slut or not.
“We can even buy a few baby clothes,” Stefan whispered in my ear, using his secret weapon, the tip of his tongue tracing the curve of my earlobe before he nibbled gently. He resumed kissing me all over my neck and shoulders, running his hands all over my body, and I felt myself moisten between my legs.
“Okay,” I cried when I could take no more. “You win. I’ll go.”
I turned my head to look into Stefan’s grinning face, trying not to laugh as he grinned at me. “I knew you would see it my way. I have ways of bending you to my will.”
He slapped me on the ass, making it wiggle a little and making us both laugh. “Now go get ready so we can get back fast. I have another surprise for you.”
* * *
“Wasn’t that great?” Stefan asked as we walked back into the apartment.
I walked over and set down several shopping bags that were filled with baby outfits and some new stretch sweatpants for me. I knew it was stupid to still feel insecure, especially with all the sex we’d been having, but I hated getting the pants. They were so unflattering and so unsexy, but I was starting to have trouble getting into my normal sized clothes. To even things out, I’d gotten a couple of short shorts that were several sizes bigger than the ones I normally wore. Stefan loved my ass, and if I had a way to show it off, I would for him.
“Yeah, I did,” I replied. “And I’m so glad I went.” Truthfully, I had the most fun since arriving at the apartment with Stefan. After all the stress I’d gone through—the Sacrifice, the school’s investigation, the harassment by the assholes at NSU, and lastly, our parents discovering our secret—it was just what I needed to relieve a bit of stress.
At the restaurant, Stefan had been the perfect gentleman, holding out the seat for me and telling me to order whatever I wanted. Over lunch, we’d reminisced over old times together and talked about our future.
After, we’d gone shopping in the mall. Once again, Stefan told me to buy whatever I wanted. When I resisted, he was adamant that I do it. He wanted me to feel better. He’d just put everything I wanted on credit. I just worried about how he was going to pay for it with dwindling resources and no job.
“I can’t remember the last time I had so much fun."
Stefan grinned at me. “I can. The first night we fucked.”
I gaped. “Stefan!”
He laughed, shrugging. “Well, it's the truth! I'll never forget that night.”
My mind wandered back to the night that started all this mess. “And neither will I,” I whispered.
“And now it's time to have more of that fun,” Stefan said huskily. He walked over to me and pulled me into his arms. His lips qui
ckly found mine, and he moved his hands over the small of my back, dipping me slightly.
Things were going perfectly when his cell ringtone went off.
Stefan pulled away from me, leaving me breathless, and reached inside his pocket.
“Hello? Oh, hey, Coach Carter.”
Hot and bothered, I flopped down on the coach and grabbed a magazine off the coffee table and began fanning myself, trying to get my temperature to go down.
“I don't know, Coach,” Stefan said, sending a glance my way. “I don't think I can. Really? That would be wonderful, coach," Stefan said, flashing me a thumbs-up. “I would like that very much. But you know what? I'm busy right now. I'll get back with you about a decision by next week. Okay? Cool. Talk to you then. Bye.”
Stefan hung up, turning back to me. “That was just Coach Carter calling again. I swear, that guy is not going to give up.” He gave me a look that should have had me ready to climb the walls, but instead, it made me angry. He moved toward me. “Now, where were we—”
“Why don't you just tell him no instead of leading him on all the time?” I cut him off, my tone sounding harsher than I wished.
Stefan froze. “What?”
I swallowed back an angry lump. I was sounding accusatory, but I couldn't help myself. I was filled with fear and anxiety. “Why the hell would you keep telling him that you'll get back with him when you know that you can't?”
Stefan stopped and backed up, raising his hands. “Bella, I was going to wait until after my head’s in the right space, but what he said was that I might be able to work something out where I can work and go back to school at the same time. It wouldn't be that hard. In fact, SSU offers programs for students who need work. With my athlete status, it shouldn't be hard getting some help.”
“And so all that shit you told me the other day about trying to be a good man and giving up sports—was that just bullshit?” I half yelled, not knowing where it was coming from. My body literally shook with rage. I couldn't believe I was saying these things to Stefan. I had never been so angry with him in my life, and it felt like I was losing control over my emotions. “Were you just playing me this whole time?”
Stefan looked like he'd been struck, his face going pale. “How can you act like this to me? I've done everything I can to help us, and I'll continue. Bella, I just heard the news. I didn’t say yes or no, and what the hell’s gotten into you? For God’s sake, if you tell me you don’t want me to go to SSU, I won’t go to SSU! I’ll go down to the day labor office tomorrow and get a temp job digging ditches if I have to! I just thought it’d be a good idea to try and keep our fucking options open!”
I stood there, my chest heaving, feeling a rainbow of emotions. I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to slap, hit, bite, and fuck Stefan all at the same time. But most of all, I had a strong feeling of wanting to escape. Where was this coming from, anyway? “Are you just going to leave me in the lurch if you get a pro offer and I can’t follow?”
I didn't wait for an answer. I just I took off down the hallway, sobbing all the way to our bathroom, and slammed the door behind me.
* * *
Stefan
Watching Bella disappear into the bathroom, I stood there, confused and kicking myself. What was going on? I hadn’t told her for a thousand reasons. The main one was that I wanted to talk it over calmly with Bella when I was thinking clearly with my brain and not my dick. I was serious. I’d gladly tell Coach Carter to stuff a lax stick up his butt if there was no way I could take care of Bella. But that didn’t matter, and yelling at Bella only made things worse, a really stupid thing on my part.
I knocked on her door quietly after a few minutes, and Bella jerked the door open, her eyes wide with fear. Her shoulders tense, Bella waited as if she was expecting me to start yelling at her again. I realized how much yelling there’d been in our relationship, how much stress and how much difficulty, and I vowed to stop it, right here, right now.
I moved forward and pulled Bella into my arms, where she seemed to collapse with relief against my chest and began to sob. “I’m sorry,” I told her with as much conviction and emotion as I could muster. “I’m sorry for everything. For ignoring you, for the stress, for all of it. Bella, all I want is for you to stop being scared, because I’m not going to leave you. Not now, not when you have the baby, not ever. But I only have one thing to ask of you.”
Bella pulled back to look up at me, and I took a thumb and wiped away a tear.
“What?”
“Promise me that we keep being open and honest with each other. I can live without lacrosse, without my parents, without money, without being a pro athlete. I can’t live without you.”
We stood there for a long time, staring at each other, and I could feel Bella’s heartbeat against my chest. Each moment that ticked by seemed like an eternity.
When Bella finally answered, her voice had newfound strength within it.
“I promise.”
Bella - Five months later . . .
“The baby looks perfectly healthy,” said the sonographer as I lay on the examination table.
I stared at the image on the screen, hardly able to believe what I was seeing, overcome by an array of emotions.
“Look, Stefan,” I said, pointing a trembling finger at the image, my eyes filled with tears. “Our baby.”
Stefan, who had let his hair grow out past his ears and sported scruffy stubble when he was too busy to shave in the morning, peered at the image, a proud look on his face. “It is.”
I placed my hands on either side of my stomach and peered down. I couldn't believe how big I’d gotten. It looked like I had a huge bowling ball stuffed inside my belly.
Despite the difficulties, Stefan was still here, just as he promised.
The most uncomfortable thing about it all was learning how to walk with such a burden. Stefan now jokingly called me “the waddle woman” whenever I had to move. Before, such a joke would have made me question Stefan’s love for me, but now, I realized that Stefan truly loved me.
Since that final, dreadful day that I’d accused him of being ready to leave me, our relationship had improved by quite a bit. Through working together and communicating, I’d learned to trust Stefan at his word, and I stopped looking for shadows where there were none. Part of it, I’m sure, was my hormones coming back into balance, but also the two of us learning how to be mature adults. Or at least more mature than we’d been.
On the downside, our parents hadn’t talked to us in months. Besides a few ‘how are you doing’ texts from my mom, I hadn’t heard her voice in what seemed like ages. I did worry about her, but there was nothing I could do to make her talk to me.
Grandma Emma had started to call to check on us often, though. When I asked her about my mother, she would reply that our parents were too stubborn to see the truth yet and were still being stiff-necked about our decision to continue on with our relationship and the baby.
When I asked about their marital status, Grandma Emma would say, “Honey, you know about as much as I do about that.”
It led me to believe that our parents were still in limbo. I supposed Terry was really fighting to keep my mother’s hand. I’d learned to let go of the anger at both of them and wish for the best. For their sake, I hoped they stayed together.
Meanwhile, Stefan had gotten a decent job. It wasn’t anything great, working security at a industrial site, but it would be enough for us to get by until I could get a job myself, even if it was part-time.
We’d called Coach Carter at SSU together, Stefan putting him on speaker to deliver the bad news. Carter had taken it well and told Stefan that while he couldn’t guarantee him a scholarship, if Stefan did decide to come back to school, he’d get a fair shot as a walk-on, and then a semester after that, there could be a scholarship waiting for him. Past that, there had been no more talk about his sports career. For a while, I was bothered by that. Being a professional athlete had been a life-long dream for Stefan. But Stefa
n insisted he was happy, and he had even said it was more important that after our baby was born, I go back to school. “You’re the one with the real brains, after all,” he’d told me. “And I’m cool with that.”
So while I wouldn’t say we were on Easy Street, life was good. We were looking forward to having our little one, even if no one else was.
“So?” asked the sonographer, who had no idea we were stepbrother and stepsister, looking between us both, “When are you two getting married?”
* * *
Marriage.
The very idea filled me with bliss. I could almost picture it—a beautiful wedding out on a lush green lawn with wine, food, and celebration. I could see myself in a beautiful white gown and Stefan looking GQ in his tux. In the background, our parents smiled happily as we swore our vows and our undying devotion to one another.
Who am I kidding? I thought sourly, interrupting the fluffy thoughts. No one would come to our wedding.
The fact of the matter was that no one would ever respect our relationship just because of the taboo aspect.
“Can you stop and get me a plate from that seafood place on James Street before we go home?” I asked Stefan as we pulled out of the hospital parking lot. “I’m craving shrimp, scallops, and oysters like crazy. Hell, I’m hungry enough to even take on an octopus.”
Stefan let out a laugh and then grinned at me. “Sure, if it’s tentacles that you want instead of me, I won’t stop you. Just let me watch.”
I gaped at him and then slapped him on the arm. “Stefan!” I gasped, scandalized. I guess it was another sign of how much he loved me. Even as pregnant as I was, he was still horny for me almost all the time. And any time I did need a little of his ‘special juice,’ he was always willing. And he’d still reciprocate. “You know I didn’t mean it that way, you pervert!”
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