by Hazel Parker
When she arrived at the funeral, Anna looked around for Brett but didn’t see him. Everyone else was standing at the front of the casket—Brett’s parents and a few other older people who Anna could only assume were Eustice’s other children were speaking to the other funeral-goers in the line that had formed. Anna hadn’t been to many funerals, she realized, and she hadn’t been to any at all in several years. She took a seat in a chair in the back of the parlor, deciding that finding Brett could wait a moment while she paid her respects.
“Hey, stranger,” Martha’s voice called quietly, laying her hand gently across Anna’s back. Anna smiled wanly and stood to hug her.
“Martha,” she greeted, “I’m so sorry for your loss.” As much as she wanted to tell her congratulations on the wedding, to say that the ceremony had been beautiful and that she was sorry that she hadn’t been able to stay for the whole thing, she didn’t want to get those wires crossed in her brain. Martha deserved to be able to feel happy when she thought about her wedding day and talking about it at her grandfather’s funeral wasn’t going to help that.
“Thank you,” Martha said as if it were becoming a reflex, “and thanks for coming.” Martha’s husband stood behind her, quiet but trying to be comforting by holding her hand.
“Of course,” Anna dismissed. “Eustice was a great man. Even though I didn’t know him very well, he treated me like family, and I cared about him very deeply.”
Martha nodded sadly. “We know you did,” she agreed. “Let me know if you need anything, okay, sweetie?”
“Oh, before you go,” Anna called before Martha could turn to leave, “have you seen Brett? I can’t find him anywhere.” Martha shrugged and shook her head.
“Sorry, not for a while. Honestly, I’d assumed that he was with you.” The worry must’ve been clear in Anna’s face because Martha smiled. “I’m sure he’s around here somewhere,” she reassured. “You’ll find him.” Anna wanted to make her rounds, to offer condolences to Brett’s parents and aunts and uncles, but first, she needed to track down her fake boyfriend. She finished her prayer and stood to go looking for him. After checking the lobby, the bathroom, and once more around the main funeral area, she was about to take out her phone and call him when David interrupted her train of thought.
“Anna, it’s nice to see you,” David greeted sullenly. Anna said she was sorry for his loss and he accepted it. “Hey, about what I said at the wedding. I wanted to apologize.”
She fanned his concern away with one dismissive hand gesture. “Oh, no, that’s nothing,” she reassured, but David wasn’t having it.
“No, I need to say this. What I said was super inappropriate. I was obviously wrong. I didn’t mean to insult you or to cause any problems between you and my brother.”
“You were just trying to look out for me,” Anna reasoned. David nodded, but his face didn’t look any less guilty. “Can I ask you something?”
David nodded. “Anything.”
“Brett is your brother. Why do you think so poorly of him?” David may have been right about Brett’s original intentions, but that didn’t mean that he’d had any reason to suspect that in the first place. Clearly, he’d come to Anna before he’d talked to Brett about it, too, because otherwise he’d probably have been given the truth just as Brett had told it to Anna: that he’d started for one reason and continued for another. David sighed.
“I love my brother; I really do,” he began. “It’s just that until now, he’s never shown any sign of maturity. I assumed that the only reason he’d ever change would be a selfish one.” He paused, then gave Anna a small, hopeful smile. “But he seems to really trust you; you’re good for him. I think that he wants to deserve you.” Hearing that, Anna couldn’t wait another minute—she needed to find Brett and she needed to do it immediately.
“Do you know where he is?”
“I think I saw him sneak out the back door,” David replied. Anna was up and heading for the parking lot before David could say another word, thanking him over her shoulder.
She did find Brett outside, leaning against a wall next to the dumpster. No one else was nearby, which was probably the intention, and Brett startled when he heard the door open, stiffening when he looked up and then relaxing when he saw that it was only Anna.
“I didn’t know you smoked,” she observed, pointing to the lit cigarette that he was taking drags from.
“I don’t,” he replied. “I broke the habit before I even knew you.”
“Ah, so that’s one of those fake cigarettes I’m hearing so much about?” she teased, eliciting a small smile.
“No,” he admitted, “it’s real. Just because I’m smoking, doesn’t mean I smoke.” She nodded, holding her hand out to wordlessly ask for a drag.
“I don’t smoke either,” she said on the exhale, “but God, do I sometimes wish I did.” Brett laughed.
“You’re a nurse,” he pointed out. “Don’t you know this shit will kill you?”
“One isn’t going to hurt,” she rationalized. She’d picked up the habit too young from some neighborhood kids, then quit when she’d started college, and again a year later. Everything inside her told her that she shouldn’t be tempting fate like this, but damn did it calm her nerves.
“Cheers to that,” Brett agreed as he took the cigarette back from her. She watched him inhale the smoke, his eyes closed but his face tense, and blow it out slowly, never looking anything less than miserable. Great. Now he was miserable and he smelled like an ashtray.
“You okay?” she asked, though she already knew the answer.
“Not really,” Brett replied without looking at her. There were no cars in the back of the building, but it was sort of nice to watch the sun go down behind the trees.
“People are looking for you.”
Brett scoffed sourly. “When aren’t they?”
With a sigh, Anna moved to stand next to him, leaning on the wall the same way that he was. It felt natural, easy, and almost comforting to have their arms touching, to be so close. “They’re worried about you,” she elaborated. “I’m worried about you.” Brett looked her in the eyes, his gaze patient and serious.
“I know you are,” he said. “Thanks.” Anna wasn’t quite sure how to respond to that, so she didn’t for a long moment. They shared the cigarette, tapping the red hot ash onto the ground after every turn until it was down to the butt, when he flicked it into the ashtray. Though he reached into his suit coat pocket for the pack to light up another, Anna stopped him by placing her hand over his. He didn’t put up a fight as he slid it back into his pocket disappointedly.
“I think maybe we should get in there,” she suggested. “You know, talk to some of your relatives, view the body. Have you said goodbye yet?” Brett shook his head. Though Anna took care of dying people, her job usually ended as soon as the patient flat lined. After that, the body was taken to the morgue to wait for the family of the person, where Anna would never have to look at it again. She wasn’t used to this part, and she had to admit, it was a lot harder. Thankfully, Brett made it easy, standing with a heavy sigh and gesturing for her to lead the way back inside.
Chapter Fourteen: Brett
Brett had to admit that he probably wouldn’t have had the courage to go back inside the funeral parlor had it not been for Anna’s presence. Even just two weeks ago, he wouldn’t have been able to muster up the strength by himself. There was something about Anna that made him better, made him want to work harder at all the things that he’d previously just given up on because they were too difficult. Maybe it was her bravery, inspiring and profound, or perhaps it was how kind and nurturing she was, the silent reassurance that even if he got hurt, that he’d be okay because she would be there to fix him up afterward. Above everything else, he just wanted to be the kind of man that deserved her.
Now, after the lying and the wedding and the funeral, that was all over. Anna had no reason to stay any longer, and though she’d promised that she would still be his
friend after everything, that had been a reassurance in a moment of weakness, a platitude, Brett knew. Even if she still hated him, she wouldn’t have had the heart to tell him that then. Now, Brett was on his own. Sure, she’d check up on him for a few days, text to offer to bring him food or to come over and listen to him remember the good times with his grandfather, all the nice things that friends did after the loss of a loved one. However, that wasn’t enough for Brett anymore. He needed Anna and only Anna, and this time, when she tried to phase him out of her life again, he wasn’t going to let her go without a fight.
She’d gone home after the funeral, and so had he. They’d simply hugged and parted ways, but little did Anna know that Brett had a plan in motion. He merely stopped into his apartment to pick up a bag that he’d prepared the day before, before hopping back in his car and heading over to Anna’s place. He didn’t let himself think about all the things that could go wrong as he drove to her neighborhood, parked in the street, and hurried up the stairs to her floor. Outside her door, he carefully took the flowers out of the bag from their position on top, checking them over to make sure that they were only minimally crushed, and took a steadying breath before reaching out and knocking.
He heard movement on the other side of the door before it opened to reveal Anna standing in the doorway, no longer wearing the black dress she’d worn to the funeral but still in the subtle, natural makeup that she’d had on her face. She’d changed into jeans and a blouse, and she looked even more gorgeous than she had at the funeral.
“Brett?” she asked concernedly when he didn’t say anything. “What are you doing here? Is everything okay?”
“Not really,” he replied, open and honest for once in his life. “Everything kind of sucks, actually. My life is a real mess; do you know that, Anna Diaz?”
She hesitated for a minute, not sure what to say, but she didn’t have to find the words, because he wasn’t finished.
“I’m working the first real job I’ve ever had at twenty-eight, and even then, I’m just a bellhop. I never did anything with my degree, I’ve been living in the same apartment for six years, and I’ve never had a relationship that’s lasted longer than a few weekends. Now, the only person who ever really believed in me is gone, and I have the opportunity to slip right back into what I was doing before: absolutely nothing.”
Anna blinked in confusion as she processed the confession. “I thought that was the plan,” she pointed out, and Brett took a step toward her, shaking his head. There was a wild, passionate energy in his heart; his eyes were on fire.
“It was,” he admitted, “but I don’t want that anymore. There’s so much more. My life could be so much better.”
Anna was silent for a moment, considering and clearly caught off guard. “I’m…happy for you,” she said slowly, tentatively. She was deliberately keeping her eyes off the flowers, not knowing what he was planning to do with them and not wanting to assume that they were for her.
“Anna, you’re the person that showed me that I can want things for myself, not just to make my family look better. You’re proud of what you do, and you hold others accountable. I’ve been getting away with everything all my life because I wanted to brand myself as the fuck-up, the delinquent rebel kid, so that I didn’t just get lumped in with everything that my parents stood for.”
Anna’s face fell. “Brett, you’re amazing,” she said. “You can do anything you put your mind to; you didn’t need me to show you—”
“That’s the thing, though: I did. Without you, I would still be running away from everything that’s too difficult. You showed me how to face things head-on. I love that about you. I love who I am around you, and I know that it’ll only get better the longer you’re in my life.” He held the roses out to her, and she took them gingerly, stroking the petals with her fingers as if to determine whether they were real.
“These are beautiful,” she started hesitantly, “but what are they for?”
Brett looked into her beautiful brown eyes for a long moment and just allowed himself to bask in her glow. Her hair was wavy from being in the simple updo she’d worn to the funeral, and even though the expression was definitely confused and probably a bit suspicious, she wasn’t holding back her smile.
“I want to ask you out for real,” he explained, pausing when she looked up in surprise. “Anna, you’re the smartest, most beautiful, kindest person I’ve ever met, and you push me to be better. I don’t want just to be friends with you—I want to be with you; I want to commit to you. Everything in your life has been so hard-earned, and you’ve worked so much to get to where you are. I think it’s time that you had someone to take care of you.”
Anna’s eyes were welling up with tears, and for a long moment, Brett wasn’t sure whether they were happy or upset. She cried when she was angry; he knew that about her. Maybe she was mad that he was asking her out after everything he’d done to her, or perhaps she didn’t believe him.
“What do you say, Anna Diaz? Do you want to go out with me?” Instead of giving a verbal reply, Anna simply took two steps forward, reached up toward his face, and kissed him. He quickly took control, cupping the back of her neck with his strong hands and urging her inside, where they closed the door behind them. He heard her toss the flowers onto the couch as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him imperceptibly closer to her. When she parted her lips slightly, Brett took the opportunity to slip his tongue into her mouth, which she received eagerly. He swept her easily off her feet, and he didn’t waste time on detours, rather choosing to carry her straight to the bedroom. There, he set her gently in the center of the bed, her legs dangling off slightly as he climbed on top of her.
He wasn’t sure how they managed to remember to slide a condom on when that was pretty much the furthest thing from their minds, but Anna took an extra moment to reach blindly into the bedside table drawer until she found one, which she opened up and then sat up with the rubber tube between her lips, a devilish look in her eyes. She opened wide and began to take him inside her mouth slowly, rolling the condom up as she did so, half with her mouth and half with her hands. It was incredibly sexy, he thought, and the touch of her tongue, even through the condom, was enough to get him fully erect in almost record time.
Anna began to undo the buttons of his shirt. He was almost convinced that some of them were simply popping off with how quickly she was moving, but he didn’t really care—he wanted it off, anyway. Anything that stood between his body and hers was simply an obstacle. Clothes became entangled in her sheets as they wormed under them, never leaving the bed but still managing to find their way beneath the covers.
Brett had been with a lot of women before, but with Anna, it was different. He wasn’t thinking about how to finish as soon as he could so that he didn’t have to buy her breakfast, like he normally was with women. With Anna, it was almost like he was studying, watching every facial expression she made when he touched her to see what she liked, what she didn’t like, where he should touch her lightly and where she wanted to be torn apart. They started tender, mostly kissing down her neck and her breasts. Anna’s mouth was desperate for Brett’s skin, too, it appeared, because every time he pulled away from her to breathe, she would lean forward to kiss his chest. However, once his mouth found its way between her thighs, the heat intensified, turning them both into hungry, animalistic lovers, holding nothing back. He kissed between her thighs until she was begging for him to enter her and then a little longer before he finally resumed his position straddling her between his knees. She reached up and pulled his hair a little too roughly with one hand while the other grabbed handfuls of fabric in an attempt to keep her moaning to a minimum. Her back was arched like a bridge, taut and seemingly unwilling to release her tight muscles. In the back of his mind, he thought that he’d have to give her a massage later, but any excuse to touch her naked body was a good one in his eyes.
“Brett,” she moaned. His name had never sounded so good to his own ears, and he
wanted to hear it again. There was only one way, so he began to thrust against her, slowly at first, finding a comfortable position and ensuring that she was fully ready before entering her. At that point, she was so aroused that it took no effort at all. He could practically feel her whole body pulsating beneath his in time with her heartbeat, fast and strong. He matched the rhythm, thrusting inside her over and over, gradually with more intensity and speed that made her call out his name until it appeared to be all she knew how to say. He needed her as he’d never needed anyone before, and for the first time in his life, he found that he wasn’t concerned about his own needs at all, only with satisfying Anna. Somehow, watching her writhe in pleasure and cry out in desperation until she was finally, totally, and completely satisfied was the most incredible sex that he’d ever had himself, and he finished just after she did. He was convinced that it was the sound of her orgasm that triggered his own.
