by T L Dasha
I shook my head to knock those thoughts from my mind. How could I say I loved him at all if I couldn’t accept the things about him that were completely ordinary?
“I want to apologize, first of all.” I put my hands in my pockets. “This has been the strangest week of my life, and no amount of training in interpersonal relations had quite prepared me for this.”
“Were you playing hooky during ‘I married my desk clerk, and have no tact’ class?" He gave a soft laugh, instantly lightening the mood. He clearly hadn’t lost any of his charm.
“I’m glad you can joke about this, because I feel like I’m trying to deliver a eulogy right now.” I looked away, smiling to myself.
“Consider this a funeral for your pride.”
“Ha! Well put. You’re much better with words than I am.”
“If it was at all appropriate for me to agree with you...” Conner rolled his eyes. But his tone was playful. I felt like he was willing to listen.
“Right.” My voice fell quiet and heavy.
It was silent as neither one of us seemed to know how to proceed. I reminded myself to simply view this as a negotiation. I was good at those. I found my resolve again and continued:
“Conner--“
“Jake. Can you call me Jake?”
“Jake.” It felt odd to address him so casually. That would take getting used to. It was as if he didn’t even want to allow me the comfortable barrier built by his last name. I suppose I deserved that much. “Can I sit next to you?”
He patted the blanket with his hand, and I took a seat beside him on the bed. He offered me a spoonful of ice cream to go with it, but I declined. My brain was freezing enough without the need for a catalyst.
“I realized it almost right away, you know.” I looked at him as I spoke. “When I walked into the lobby that Monday morning, and I saw you sitting there, the whole night came back to me.” A smile involuntarily took my lips. “I was actually a little proud that my good taste had remained in tact no matter how deeply I was inebriated.”
“Shit--face drunk you mean. You can swear. I won’t be offended.”
“Right-- shit face drunk.” Those words tasted so wrong in my mouth. I never liked being so crude, but I was trying to make him as comfortable as possible.
He looked at me, her nose scrunching in a quizzical stare.
“Wait, so you asked me to work with your brother, even knowing what had happened?”
“It was more of a knee jerk reaction.” My expression flattened. “I panicked, and that seemed to be a better way to proceed than announcing I was watching a mental slideshow of you in my bed.” That made him laugh, putting me further at ease. “I tried to get you to back out on it the following day when I realized how he was treating you, but you were stubborn.”
“He treats me pretty well, actually.” Jake shot back. “He started out a little rough but he’s become a… a good friend. I don’t know if I would have made it through this week without him.”
Don’t let that phase you.
“Honestly, I don’t know that I would have gotten through this week without him either, now that you mention it. We’ve had a rough past, yet he’s been there for me more this week than anyone ever has been. Strange.”I laughed at how strangely true that statement was. Who would have thought I’d ever be grateful for Trevor again? “But I don’t know that I trust him around the people I’m interested in.”
“Yeah, he told me a bit about that.”
That took me completely aback. How close had they gotten?
“I swear that man is incapable of keeping secrets.” I shook my head. It made me oddly uncomfortable that he knew so much more about me than I could honestly say I knew about him. I should have counted on my brother making this harder even when he was trying to help. “But if you understand that, then I guess you can understand my trepidation.”
“So what does that mean for me, exactly? Are you still… uh… trepidated?” His eyes were inquisitive.
I’m fairly certain that’s not a word…
“Conn-- Jake.” I really had to force myself to call him that. “I can’t speak for your feelings, but, while neither one of us had intended to get married that weekend--“
“Or ever.” He interrupted.
“Or ever. When I ran into you at that strip club, when I danced with you, when I married you, when I…” I swallowed hard. “When I took you in my bed-- It wasn’t… completely out of nowhere for me. Your hard work hasn’t gone unnoticed over the years. Neither has your playful smile or your empathy. Nor your shaggy hair that isn’t always even, covering the determined expression on your face, as you try to fix your mistakes before anyone sees them. I notice you every day.” I went to place my hand on his shoulder to pull him close, but I stopped myself, not wanting to be too forward. “You are the only light in that godforsaken place. And I’ve cherished that light for a long time.”
“I see…” His eyes were trained on his lap. I continued.
“Honestly, it could have all been a fairytale revelation, if not for--“ My phone started ringing in my pocket, and I cut myself off to silence it and toss the phone out of sight. Though I couldn’t help but notice Maria Dresden’s name on the caller ID in the process.
Right. It would have been a fairytale if not for my duty to my father. She must have been calling about that double date wondering where we all were.
But the last thing I needed was for her to ruin this for me again. Fortunately, I don’t think Conner noticed who was calling.
“Sorry. It’s impossible to get away from all of these business calls. None of this is going quite as romantically as I planned.” I laughed despite myself. He was blushing, softly and silently, still not looking at me.
“What exactly did you plan?” He whispered, hope in his voice.
“It would be strange if I started over now.”
“Try me.”
I couldn’t help myself from smiling.
“Alright, let’s try this again.” I turned to him and placed a hand on each shoulder, pulling him around to face me. He looked up into my eyes. I grabbed his hand and lifted it to my chest, holding his palm over my quickly beating heart.
Then I pulled the ring from my pocket, and slipped it on his finger, keeping him in my eyes with an unbroken stare.
“I won’t ask you to marry me.” I began, my voice low and soft. “I won’t ask you to have my child. Nor will I ask you to continue as my desk clerk if you don’t want to. But I will tell you that I’ll be here for you, whatever you decide. This ring is my promise.”
“For just a few months?” Jake smirked, his eyes coy and taunting.
I laughed. A laugh that broke the last of my defenses. I spoke, choking back the lump in my throat.
“Maybe a year. Maybe two. Whatever counts as forever in Jake years.”
Chapter 14
Jake Conner
Once all the chairs were cleared and the stage was decorated, the banquet hall of Craig Hotel and Resorts of San Francisco had a near royal appearance. High vaulted ceilings of red and gold encompassed ornate buffet tables and a crowd of elegantly dressed business men and women. I wore black, designer slacks, with a dark grey shirt, a black vest, and a black tie. Aaron had insisted on it. He bought it for me that morning. It was the most sophisticated and horrifyingly overpriced set of fabric I’ve ever owned.
I topped off the look with my nicest suit coat, neatly wrapped around my shoulder. The one Trevor had insisted on buying me. Maybe that was my subconscious making a symbolic joke, because even as I stood at the shareholder banquet beside Aaron, I still found myself unable to shake Trevor from my mind. Not the least of which because, for this one last day, I was still his chaperone. Despite Aaron’s confession, he still insisted on finishing the banquet with Maria as his “official” date.
It’s not that he had any interest in her, he claimed, but it was important that he uphold this appearance for the sake of their investors. He wasn’t ashamed of me. He just
had a business to run. ‘You have to understand,’ he told me. ‘After I’ve worked out the details, we can have our happily ever after,’ he insisted. I liked to think I was a reasonable person. I could be reasonable for one more day.
When I met up with Trevor, I told him how it went with Aaron. He seemed so genuinely happy for us that I had to wonder when he had mastered the customer service smile. Or maybe he wasn’t faking it at all. Maybe the pain I thought I saw in his eyes was a projection of my own wishful thinking.
We approached Aaron while he was still alone, heading over to speak with some old guys in suits. He turned to me and smiled.
“You look as dapper as always, Conner.” His expression was soft. I don’t think he’ll ever get used to using my first name. At least not in public.
“Thank you, Aaron.” I smiled at him, somehow feeling kind of awkward about it. Even now, I didn’t understand our relationship. He still felt like my boss. I didn’t know how to talk to him in any other capacity. It wasn’t easy or comfortable like my relationship with Trevor.
I glanced at Trevor as he stood beside me, his lips curled upward and his hand in his pocket.
Ugh. Why can’t I stop looking at him? Aaron was the logical choice. He’s cared for me for years, even if he didn’t show it. He’s responsible and loyal to a fault. And Trevor is… well... Kind of a dick, really. I mean, he’s a dick in the nicest way possible, of course.
I laughed internally at the thought, bringing an involuntary smile to my face. It was exactly the expression I needed at that moment. Thanks, Trevor.
“And you look like you always look, brother. Smile for once!” Trevor interjected, giving Aaron a pat on the shoulder.
“I’m perfectly happy, I promise. How could anyone not be now that this week is finally over.” Aaron nodded. I could agree with that sentiment.
“It had its moments.” Trevor averted his eyes, though that easy grin was still on his face. He was dressed so perfectly formal, in his black suit, vest, and tie, but his permanently disheveled hair and the pop of burgundy from his collared shirt still felt distinctly Trevor. “I’m just happy to see you two finally settled your differences.” His soft brown eyes lofted back to me as he ran a hand through his hair. “So when’s the wedding?”
I laughed.
“Probably somewhere around nev--“
“We’ll have to see.” Aaron interrupted, his voice oddly casual. “I’m sure you’ll be the first to know.”
I looked down at the floor, not sure how to react to that. Though I didn’t have much time to sort it out, as Maria Dresden approached us. She was dressed in red, her hair styled in a sophisticated up-do, and pops of diamonds filled her necklace.
“Hey! I missed you guys yesterday.” She looked at us with her hands on her hips. Though her words seemed to be only superficially playful. “Did I miss the party?”
Trevor opened his mouth to say something, then stopped himself as his eyes met a stern look from Aaron. Was he actually showing restraint? That might have been a first.
“I was feeling a little under the weather is all.” I interjected, to try to prevent any tension before it started. I loosely held my hands behind my back as I spoke, instinctively hiding my ringed finger. It shouldn’t have mattered if Maria saw it, since it wouldn’t have meant anything to her, but I was a little embarrassed at the thought. I didn’t want to make it awkward, and Aaron made it clear that he couldn’t end their relations until after the event. That didn’t stop me from wishing he would though.
“I had an important project to handle last night.” His tone had authority. “We can discuss the fine details later.”
I’ll admit that that wasn’t the most satisfying response he could have when talking to someone who is borderline his ex.
“Over dinner maybe?” She shot him a flirtatious glance.
Aaron didn’t get a chance to answer before Alan Craig started tapping on the microphone to draw everyone’s attention. He stood on a stage at the front of the room to a backdrop of red velvet curtains.
He cleared his throat and started to speak.
“Thank you everyone for coming! It’s been another ground breaking and profit breaking year, and we couldn’t have done it without the constant support of our investors. How about you all give yourselves a hand.”
The room broke into applause. Aaron clapped slowly, Maria clapped eagerly, Trevor didn’t clap at all. I watched Trevor’s expression, trying to understand his lack of even feigned enthusiasm.
“With the close of this year’s shareholder week, I’d like to make an announcement of just some of the exciting things to come for the Craig family.”
Trevor’s expression remained steady. He crossed his arms across his chest, and watched on. Aaron bit his lower lip. I wasn’t sure if I should be worried. Alan continued.
“First and foremost, profits are at an all-time high. We recently began a partnership with Jasmine’s Jewelers and World Coffee, both of which will be opening boutiques in all of our 245 locations throughout the country. We’ll begin expanding into the Pacific Northwest next year, as well as furthering our stake throughout Europe.” More applause.
“But that’s all just business. It’s the people who run the business that truly make it thrive. I’m sure you’ve all met my sons by now-- Trevor, Aaron.” He extended a hand in our general direction, and the room clapped again. Trevor didn’t relax his stance, while Aaron nodded to the crowd. “Aaron, my youngest, has been juggling the entire west coast for the last several years, and this has come to be our highest grossing region by a landslide.” Aaron looked pleased. I almost felt a little proud myself, even if I didn’t have much hand in it.
“And how better to continue this success for years to come, than to grow our family.” Alan looked overjoyed, but I could see the sweat teasing Aaron’s brow. The dread of what was to come next was palpable. “We’ve long since been joined in business, so it’s with great pleasure that I announce our two great families will now be joined in matrimony with the engagement of my son and Miss Maria Dresden. Why don’t you two come up to the stage!”
A sinking feeling filled the pit of my stomach just hearing the words. Aaron had warned me that this might happen before we arrived, and he assured me it was false, but it still felt awful to hear everyone applauding it. His expression remained serious as he approached the front of the room with Maria on his arm.
I stayed back with Trevor. Though he didn’t look at me. His eyes were trained on the stage, watching his brother.
“Thank you, father.” Aaron took hold of the microphone. Maria squeezed his arm affectionately and smiled up at him. It was a small gesture, but it was a powerful one.
They looked right together standing up on that stage. She fit perfectly in his world with her designer clothing, her sophisticated air, and her perfect posture. No matter how many times I reminded myself that he was just doing it for appearances, it started to feel too real for me. He began to talk about his recent successes, rattling off numbers and figures, and I turned to make my way to an exit. I felt sick to my stomach. I couldn’t watch anymore. It must have been those tacos yesterday or something. Yeah, that’s what it was…
As I grabbed the door to the hallway, I felt a hand grab my other one, pulling my attention back to the room.
“Jake, wait.”
I turned to face Trevor.
“It’s okay. He doesn’t mean it. He’s just trying to avoid causing a scene.” He whispered, making sure not to be audible to the rest of the room.
“I know, I just… I’m just going to the bathroom for a minute.” My words were on point, but my eyes didn’t corroborate my story. He looked down at me, a frown on his face. He had caught me at just the right time to direct my attention back to the scene on the stage playing out over his shoulder. I hadn’t heard what he said, but Maria gave Aaron a lingering kiss on the lips to a cheering crowd. My expression must have said it all, because Trevor squeezed my hand a little tighter.
&nbs
p; “It’s fake.” He reiterated. He pulled my hand to his lips and lightly pecked the ring on my finger. “Try not to be upset.”
“And Trevor!” Alan Craig had taken back the microphone, while Aaron stood aside with Maria. All eyes shot to the back of the room, practically putting us in the spotlight. My face turned a new shade of red, while Trevor remained composed. He released my arm, rolled his shoulders, and adjusted his suit jacket before turning to face the stage. Alan gave him a sideways glance that made my skin crawl. I heard snickers all around us. Great.
Alan cleared his throat and started speaking again.
“Trevor has been covering the south west, with everything from Nevada to Arizona, Utah, Colorado, and New Mexico.” Alan’s voice quickly fell back into its usual stern and confident bellow. “But he has his own announcement to make tonight. Won’t you join us up here, my son?”
“I thought you’d never ask!” His expression shifted a full one-eighty, from concern to perfect arrogance. He walked to the stage, leaving me alone in the back of the room. My hand was still on the door handle.
Trevor took the microphone and turned to his father.
“We’ve had a long week now, haven’t we? But what good is a show without a grand finale.” Trevor’s grin was impetuous. He addressed the audience. “I’ve worked quite a bit with all of you here over the years, and it’s been a real pleasure.”
My eyes narrowed. Why does this sound like the start of a resignation? I took my hand off the door and watched with curiosity. Trevor had surprised me a lot this week, from our rough first meeting to his reassuring hugs. I was starting to worry he might be surprising me again. He continued.
“I’ve worked under my father in one capacity or another for thirty one years now. Maybe longer if you count those nine months in the womb where I convinced my mother to crave steak and fine cheeses. You’re welcome by the way.” He gave Alan a pat on the shoulder, maintaining his cheeky expression. Alan laughed. I still hate his laugh.
