What did it all mean? Was Devon about to be pulled off the SEAL team and attached to a Special Forces ODA?
He clenched his fists as a myriad of emotions fought for dominance. All he knew was that the dynamic of their team—their makeshift “family”—suddenly felt threatened, and the loneliness it’d been keeping at bay now roared back to life.
Needing desperately to outrun it, Rhys charged from their quarters out into the night.
Chapter Ten
“Those two just need to beat each other up already.”
Devon smiled when Aaron ambled over to her, hands in the pockets of his pants. He jerked his head toward Matt and Shane, who were bickering, as usual, while they helped load everyone’s gear onto the C-17, bound for Coronado.
“Ha, totally.”
Or kiss. Or something.
At the banquet the night before, she’d watched Shane try his best to engage Matt in conversation. After about the tenth futile attempt, he’d given up and attached himself to a rowdy group of Army Rangers, finally disappearing off somewhere with them, which left Matt visibly furious.
Devon remembered rolling her eyes, thinking she’d better go talk to him, and then Rhys had asked her to dance...
“So, how’s it goin’, Ms. Lowe?”
Aaron’s voice was easy, conversational, but still, Devon heard something in it that instantly shot wariness through her.
“Fine,” she said cautiously. “Glad to be going home for a little decompression time.”
If you could call “home” yet another transient barracks on yet another base. But who was she to quibble about semantics? At least she wouldn’t be sleeping in the woods.
She waited for more, but all Aaron did was rock back and forth on his heels, his indecision just radiating off him.
“What’s on your mind, Maddox?”
Aaron blew out a long, slow breath. “Look, this really ain’t my business, but I’m just gonna say it anyway.”
Devon stiffened, her fists balling up at her sides. Was this going to be the “Stay away from my friend, you slut” speech, or the “You poor thing, don’t you know he’s still in love with someone else” one?
“Say it,” she said tersely, waves of anticipatory anger roiling in her gut.
“Whatever you’re doing with Halloran, I want you to just keep right on doing it.”
For a moment Devon wasn’t sure she’d heard him correctly. “What?”
Earnestness was in every line of Aaron’s body. “My wife, Sarah, called me this morning. She’s Lani’s best friend.”
Now the wariness intensified. Were the women about to warn her off?
“And?”
“Listen. I’ve known Rhys and Lani for most of my life, and I love ’em both dearly.” He paused. “What I don’t love is them together.”
Devon had no idea what to say. “Um...”
“Rhys’s childhood was pretty shitty,” Aaron went on. “And growing up he spent most of his time at my house just to get some normalcy in his life, you know?”
Devon gave a cautious nod. “Yeah, he’s told me a little bit about that.”
Grinning, Aaron said, “See? That’s what I mean! That dude don’t tell anyone about shit. The fact he’s opening up to you at all is huge.” He punched her lightly on the shoulder in his enthusiasm.
“We just talk, though. I’m not doing anything special.” Devon gave a helpless wave of her hand. “We’re friends, Maddox. Friends talk.”
“And I don’t think Rhys has ever had a friend, a female friend, who wasn’t also Lani’s friend, too. He’s wrapped himself so completely up in her since that moment—well, that ain’t my story to tell.” He shrugged. “It’s tunnel vision, man.”
Suddenly Devon could picture it, too. A young Rhys, buffeted by the whims of the adults in his life and surrounded by unhealthy relationships, wanting to cling to the one person who made him feel safe, who made sense.
“Once Rhys decides something, he’s stubborn as fuck, too,” Aaron said. “Lani has a hard time being honest with him because she hates confrontation and half the time he doesn’t listen anyway.”
“She called him last night,” Devon told him. “I wonder why? Rhys totally wasn’t expecting it.”
A guilty look spread across Aaron’s face. “That’s my bad. I told Sarah that Rhys had a new friend that he was spending a lot of time with...a woman. She wanted to see what you look like. Remember this?”
Aaron pulled out his phone, swiped his finger across the screen a few times, then turned it so Devon could see. Her eyes widened as she stared at the picture. It was of her and Rhys at that country bar, flushed and sweaty from line dancing, sitting close together on that love seat out in the courtyard. Rhys had his arm slung along the back of it right behind her shoulders, and they were gazing into each other’s eyes, smiling.
It looked intimate and cozy, exactly like they were on a date. Devon’s cheeks heated.
“We were just having a drink and talking,” she mumbled. “What the hell, Maddox?”
He bit his lip, the guilt on his face intensifying. “I may have shown her this one, too.”
The next picture was of them sitting between those pallets on the airplane, facing each other, legs touching, deep in conversation.
“Dude, Rhys needs to see that he can have a life outside of Lani,” Aaron said. “His friendship with you is a step in the right direction, and Sarah and I are totally here for it.”
“Here for it by showing his ex pictures of me?” It was Devon’s turn to punch him on the shoulder, and she did it a lot harder than he had hit her.
Aaron flinched. “Well, that was an accident, man. Sarah was trying to show her pictures of something else and Lani saw. I guess she got real quiet, went outside, then came back in all pale and upset. She’s used to Rhys being at her beck and call, you know?”
He shook his head like he still couldn’t believe it.
“This is healthy for them, I swear. They’re both broadening their horizons.” He shot her an irrepressible grin. “So I just wanted to pass on me and my wife’s appreciation of you.”
Devon reached out and gave him a shove. “So glad I meet with your approval,” she said sarcastically, “and fuck right off with the pictures of me, okay? Stop it.”
“Ha.” Aaron pointed at her as he started walking backward toward the plane. “I really like you, Lowe. Just sayin’.”
She flipped him the bird, and he laughed aloud as he finally trotted away.
“So what was that all about?”
Heat surged low in her belly at the sound of Rhys’s husky voice behind her. Slowly, she turned to face him, her whole body tingling at the memory of their dance, how he’d felt against her. “Just talking. He’s a goof.”
“He is.”
They fell silent, shuffling their feet, until Rhys said softly, “You okay?”
“Yeah.” Pursing her lips in confusion, Devon asked, “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“That guy last night...”
“Oh.” A surge of excitement rolled through her. “I can’t really talk about it yet. But it’s good,” she rushed on, seeing his brows draw together in concern. “It’s really good.”
And holy shit, it’s everything I’ve ever wanted.
He nodded, his eyes steady on her face. “I, uh, I’m also really sorry.”
Devon blinked. “Sorry for what?”
Cramming his hands in his pockets, Rhys hunched his shoulders. “Almost answering the phone on you before we’d said a proper good-night.”
A proper good-night.
Devon’s eyes fell on the arm she’d held on to as they walked home. It’d been so warm and strong, and she’d been so tired...
“No worries,” she whispered, that pesky arousal racing through her again.
He lifted his head. “It was rude. I hate it when someone interrupts what I’m saying to check their phone. Makes me feel like chopped liver.” He paused. “Did I make you feel like chopped liver?”
Devon was about to deny it, when she remembered Aaron’s words about Lani not being honest with him. So she said, “Maybe a little.”
He flinched. “Ugh, I knew it. I’m sorry, Devon.”
“Don’t be. I’m usually not one to dance and run, either.”
Rhys laughed. “You don’t? Noted.”
“For next time.”
“Got it.” He smiled, then gestured toward a pile of gear sitting not far away. “Need to get my shit loaded. See ya on the plane?”
“Yep. Save me a seat.”
With a wink, he turned to sling the largest duffel over his shoulder before grabbing another one in each hand. Devon watched him go, appreciating the bulge of his biceps, the play of muscle in his powerful back. She shivered at the memory of how gently he’d held her on the dance floor, how he’d asked permission before even touching her.
It’d been a long time since she’d felt so cherished and safe.
Then she shook her head as if to clear it. Reality check, idiot. Nothing’s ever going to come of this. You know that, right?
How could it? He was fresh off a long-term relationship, and she’d just had the opportunity of a lifetime dropped unexpectedly in her lap.
At the thought of Major Beck and his proposal, Devon couldn’t help wanting to do a happy dance right there on the tarmac. She glanced around. Well, fuck it. If she wanted to dance, she’d dance.
“Whoo!” she crowed, doing a little shimmy, flushing when Shane passed by right then and threw her an amused glance.
“What’re we celebrating?”
“New beginnings, baby!” she shouted, pumping her fist in the air. “C’mon, dance with me.”
Devon was delighted when he started singing the Hokey Pokey. “Ah, perfect.”
The two of them launched into it, and soon most of the platoon was gathered with them in a circle, putting their left foot in, putting their left foot out in the classic preschool dance.
Of course someone went there.
“Put your ass in. Put your ass out!”
The booty shaking that ensued made Devon’s sides hurt, she was laughing so hard. When it was over, high fives all around, and then everyone wandered away to finish last-minute tasks before it was time to board.
Devon sauntered over to Rhys, who was leaning against a nearby support post, his lips quirked in a half smile.
As she passed him, she gave him a light punch on the arm.
“Now that’s what it’s all about,” she declared, his laughter following her all the way to the plane.
* * *
“You gotta stop looking like you want to kill everyone.”
Matt ran his hand over the week’s growth of beard on his face and grimaced. “Damn, this itches. And maybe I do want to kill everyone.” He shot Devon a menacing glower first, then Shane, who was sitting with Rhys on the other side of the plane, the two of them deep in conversation.
“Okay.” Devon rolled her eyes. “I might be scared if you weren’t such a big baby.”
It didn’t seem possible the scowl could deepen anymore, but it did. With his longish hair and beginnings of a beard, Matt looked ferocious. Dangerous.
But he was still a big baby.
“I thought you wanted Shane back, and all you’re doing is pushing him farther away.”
“It’s not the right time,” Matt muttered. He tugged again on the unkempt beard. “I didn’t think this through.”
Devon swatted his arm impatiently. “So when is the right time?” she snapped. “We’re going to Afghanistan!”
The word sent a chill of dread mixed with excitement down her spine. Although combat operations there had officially ended, spec ops teams still worked in the shadows, mostly in the remote, lawless outposts that had sprung up along the border with Pakistan.
“Exactly. We’re going to Afghanistan. If I start something now, the guys’ll wonder if we’re going to put each other ahead of everyone else. No one will trust us, Devon, and I can’t do that to Shane, not when he’s worked so hard to get here.” Matt closed his eyes. “It’s better this way for now, and when we get back, I’ll fix it.”
What if you don’t come back? What if he doesn’t come back?
“Don’t wait,” she said quietly. “Don’t go to war with things unfinished, Matt. Trust yourselves to be professional. Trust the guys to have your backs.”
Matt didn’t say anything more, but Devon could see that some of the tension bracketing his mouth had eased. Maybe, if nothing else, she’d given him something to think about.
The rest of the flight to Coronado was uneventful, and after landing at the Naval Air Station, the married guys were picked up by their families while the single ones caught yet another van back to the amphib base.
Before Rhys walked to his truck in the parking lot, he said to Devon, “Gonna go check on my apartment, and meet the guy who’s going to sublet it from me while we’re gone. See ya later?”
“Yep.” She tapped the outline of the phone in her pocket. “Text me if you need me.”
He shot her a weary smile. “You know it. See you tomorrow for PT.”
For the rest of the day, Devon organized her gear and did laundry, then went for a run on the beach at dusk. At the end of it, she sat in the cool sand and watched the sun go down, the rhythmic crashing of the waves hypnotic and soothing.
Not far from her she could hear the grunts and shouts of a SEAL BUD/S class struggling to lift chunks of old telephone poles high over their heads.
The contrast was jarring. Here she was, surrounded by safety and serenity, and yet the promise of violence, of war, lurked just a few hundred yards away.
“Hey, do you mind some company?”
The deep voice behind her startled her, and Devon whipped her head around to see Shane approaching her through the sand. She nodded in welcome, her mouth going dry despite herself. He was shirtless in a pair of clingy running shorts, his feet and lower legs caked with sand. Sweat droplets slid lovingly down his ridged abs and dripped off the end of his perfect nose.
Gah.
He dropped to sitting next to her and propped his forearms on his upraised knees. “Feels good to move after sitting all day on a plane, doesn’t it?” His voice was rough with exertion, and Devon gave a delighted shiver at the sound of it.
This dude was all sorts of gorgeous, and she certainly wasn’t immune. “It feels great,” she croaked. “And I’m loving this view.”
Both in front of me and next to me. Dayum.
“It’s one I’ll never get tired of, that’s for sure.”
“Me, either.” A brief silence, and then Devon said, “Matt told me you live not far from here.”
Shane flinched a little at the sound of Matt’s name, but he answered gamely enough. “Yeah, I have a house over in IB. Which I’m actually thinking of selling.”
“Really?”
Anger at Matt’s stubbornness surged through Devon again. He’d told her about Shane’s house, about how they’d been slowly renovating it together before their breakup.
“Yeah. There’s not a lot tying me to it anymore. My grandmother is gone. I bought my sister out a couple of years ago and now she’s happily married with two kids. It’s just me.”
Her heart ached at the sadness in his voice. “Where would you live, then?” she asked gently.
“The barracks, I guess. It’d only be for a few years until my SEAL contract is up.” Shane hesitated, then shrugged as if to say fuck it. “I’m not gonna renew it.”
Devon blinked in surprise. “Wow. Because?”
“I want to go to medical school.”
Now she turned her head to gape at him. “Shit. Is this, uh, recent or—”
“Nope. It’s something I’d always had in the back of my mind as a kid, and then I got derailed.” He gave a bitter snort. “Or I let somebody derail me, I should say. Ended up in the Marines first, then here.”
“Well, you went through an awful lot to get here,” she said, nodding at
the hapless BUD/S students who were now rolling around in the powdery sand at the instructors’ feet.
Shane gave a giant shudder at the sight. “Wet and sandy, ugh. Poor bastards.”
He fell silent as if gathering his thoughts, his fingers combing restlessly through the sand next to him. “It hit me like a ton of bricks the other day, Devon, that every decision I’ve ever made in my adult life has been about someone else. Pleasing someone else, supporting someone else, trying to—trying to hold on to someone else. It’s time to think of me for a change. What I want. What I need.”
Amen, brother. I’m right there with you.
“There’s nothing wrong with that,” she said softly.
Shane gave an emphatic nod. “No, there damn well isn’t. I’ve been talking to Rhys about it a lot, actually. He’s been thinking of PA school himself, for after, and he’s already done a little research into it, been giving me advice on how to tick off some boxes and make myself competitive.”
“That’s great, Shane. I mean it.”
“It is great, and it’s giving me a peace of mind I haven’t felt in a long time, to finally realize, at almost thirty-one years old, that my happiness doesn’t have to depend on someone else’s.”
Ah, Matt. You’re losing him, bud.
The thought made her ineffably sad. Why did relationships have to be so complicated?
“Well...” Shane stood and dusted off the seat of his pants. “Thanks for listening.”
He reached down for a knuckle bump and then shuffled off toward the water, where he broke into a jog once he reached the hard-packed sand. Devon watched until he’d disappeared from sight, wishing she could help them and not sure how.
With a sigh, she headed for her room. After luxuriating in a long, hot shower, Devon was about to switch off her lamp when her phone buzzed with a text from Rhys.
This is me with a proper good-night. Ready? Night, Devon. How’d I do?
Devon grinned to herself.
Not bad. Although improper good-nights can be fun, too.
She hit Send and then froze. “Oh, shit,” she said aloud. “What the hell was that, Devon?”
Keeping a Warrior Page 13
