“Oh God,” said Nova with a shortness of breath, her eyes unmoving and watching her lover. “Oh God, I’m close. I’m so close. Piggy, I’m almost there. Don’t stop.”
Piggy obeyed. And then Nova started to convulse and squirm, still trying to hold herself up on her elbow. She was coming, but Piggy did not stop nor did Nova want her to. The orgasm tore through her with fury and flame and it felt transcendent. Nova felt like she was on some higher plane of existence. She kept her focus and she felt every bolt of energy her climax offered.
“Oh!” Nova called out, finally succumbing to the pleasure. She fell over to her side and balled up, wrapping her arms around herself as she felt a cold sweat coming on. Piggy meanwhile, a big grin on her wet face, popped up from the bed and rested on her knees, sitting next to Nova and delicately petting her thigh.
“Wow,” said Piggy, looking down at Nova with pure adoration in her eyes. “You came really hard.”
“I did,” agreed Nova with a low whine, her eyes closed, still holding herself. Piggy laughed.
“Your hair is kind of a mess,” teased Piggy, fluffing up Nova’s shower-damp hair.
“I don’t care,” Nova replied. “You can tie it in knots for all I care.” Piggy laughed once again.
“I would never do that to you,” Piggy said, her face glowing, still admiring Nova. “I love you too much to ever do something so evil.”
Nova smiled at Piggy’s words. Slowly, she opened her eyes and released herself from her own embrace. Rolling over onto her back once again, she looked up at Piggy.
“I love you, too,” she said. “This has been the best trip of my entire life. Thank you so much. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. And happy birthday.” Piggy smiled and offered a small laugh.
“Oh yeah,” replied Piggy. “It’s my birthday, isn’t it?”
“Mm hmm.”
“Well, I think I got the best birthday present ever,” Piggy said. “You.”
Joy washed over Nova’s face. As she came down from the clouds, her gaze focused on Piggy, she wished for this night to never come to an end. The exhaustion of that hundred mile hike had been wiped away with the sense of accomplishment she felt for completing it. And now the feeling of love brewing inside of her for Piggy was unlike anything she had ever felt before. It was a powerful moment for Nova, and she wanted to hold on to it forever. It felt like the dawning of a brand new life for her.
And Piggy felt it, too. The love she felt for her friend—and now most certainly her lover—was more than she’d felt for any other woman. She had adored and craved Nova upon the first time meeting her, but she felt off limits. Now that the two were intimate, and growing closer with each passing moment, Piggy felt as though she were now walking the path to true love. There was something in Nova’s eyes when Piggy stared into them. There was some sort of joint connection, something unspoken, in their hearts.
This had been the greatest adventure of both of their lives. And no doubt would things be even better once they got back home.
Three
When they did return home to Traverse City, Gretchen soon felt things had gotten a little weird. Although Naomi was just as animated and excited as Gretchen when she recounted their trip to some of the regulars at Dune City, she shrugged off some of Gretchen’s more affectionate attention in public. And after an entire week of being back, Gretchen was beginning to worry as Naomi didn’t appear that interested in hanging out outside of work at all. It was almost as though whatever had happened between them on the hike hadn’t really happened.
It felt so distant, that Gretchen actually questioned if it did happen. Maybe she had imagined it, or maybe even blown it up to more than it actually was. But Gretchen and Naomi did have sex that last night at the Hiker Hostel, Gretchen was positive. She wasn’t imagining things. So why would Naomi pretend like it didn’t happen? Why wouldn’t she jump into this feet first?
Gretchen knew that she had to get Naomi to talk about it. And that couldn’t happen at work. One thing that carried over from their trip was Naomi’s newfound interest in applying to jobs at a local credit union, so Gretchen approached her to ask if she wanted to get together to talk about that. Naomi happily agreed.
They met up at a cafe downtown on Front Street at Naomi’s insistence. Gretchen had hoped for something more private, but at that point she was ready to take what she could get. Late summer in Traverse City was busy with tourists, and a constant stream of people entered the cafe, placed their order, and left. Gretchen and Naomi sat in the back at a small table, each of them with a laptop open in front of them.
“Now this is interesting,” said Gretchen. “It looks like my old credit union is opening two branches up here in Traverse City. I can’t believe it.”
“Whoa, really?” Naomi replied. “Send me the link.”
“All right,” Gretchen agreed. She tapped some into her keyboard, texting the link over to Naomi. “It looks like they’re starting to hire for jobs shortly.”
“And they’re a good company to work for?”
“Yeah, absolutely,” confirmed Gretchen. “I was generally happy there. It was just my own issues that made me leave.”
“Do you think you would be able to write me some kind of letter of recommendation?” asked Naomi. “Or would that not even matter?”
“I think it would matter,” Gretchen said. “And yes, of course I would do that for you.” She smiled plainly, with much more on her mind than just the conversation at hand.
“Thank you,” Naomi beamed happily. “I’m going to start this application process right now.”
“Hey,” said Gretchen. “Before you do…”
“Yeah?” Naomi said, her eyes now focused on her computer screen.
“No, hey, look up,” Gretchen implored. Naomi looked up.
“What?”
“Listen, things have felt weird ever since we got back from our trip,” she said. “I don’t know if you’ve felt like that, but I definitely have.”
“Hmm,” mused Naomi, her eyes beginning to look back down.
“Just tell me,” Gretchen said. “What the hell is going on? Why are you being so standoffish with me? Did I do something? Did I say something that offended you? I honestly don’t know what’s going on.”
“Nothing,” Naomi said with an obviously put-on smile. “You didn’t do anything.”
“Come on,” said Gretchen. “You’re being cagey. Did none of what happened… did that not affect you? I really thought we got close. You know?”
Naomi was beginning to look uncomfortable. She squirmed in her seat a bit and looked around, almost as though she were trying to make sure that nobody was listening in on their conversation. It took her a few more moments before she actually spoke up.
“I was just thinking,” Naomi said quietly. “Maybe I’m not… you know…. like you.”
“What?” Gretchen replied in an offended tone. “What do you mean?”
“Maybe I’m not gay,” said Naomi with a shrug, her eyes looking down to her screen again.
“Hold on,” said Gretchen. “That’s insane. After everything you told me on the trip. After everything that happened.”
“Can you keep your voice down?” said Naomi, looking around again. “I don’t want the whole world to know our business.”
“I’m just so flabbergasted,” admitted Gretchen, putting her hand on her head. “How could you do such a one-eighty on this? I kind of feel like my heart’s breaking.” When she said this, Naomi’s face grew a little more concerned and empathetic.
“It’s just like…” Naomi said after another beat. “On the hike, we were out there in the wilderness. And that was Nova and Piggy. I just think that maybe, back here in real life, Naomi and Gretchen, maybe I should go back to how things were before.”
“We are Nova and Piggy,” Gretchen said firmly. “Your hiking name and personality, that’s supposed to allow the real you out. It’s not just some make believe game, Naomi. And I know for a fact that wa
s the real you. I know it in my heart.”
Naomi paused and took a deep breath, both of her hands bracing herself on the table as she absorbed what was happening. This conversation looked difficult for her. You could read it on her face. And although Gretchen knew Naomi’s past and her struggles, it was hard for her to take all that into consideration when it felt like the girl she loved was snubbing her.
“I just can’t,” Naomi said, leaning in and whispering. “Gretchen, I can’t. I’ll lose my family. They’ll disown me. You don’t know what they’re like.”
“If they’re so bad and close-minded,” said Gretchen. “Maybe you should get away from them.”
“It’s just not that simple,” protested Naomi. “They’re my family, and I love them. And it’s hard.” When Naomi said this, her struggle became more real for Gretchen. She could see the pain on Naomi’s face.
Gretchen sat back in her chair and folded her arms. She didn’t know where to go from here or what to say. She loved Naomi, and she wanted to really start something with her best friend. Something meaningful and passionate and fun. But now Gretchen just felt lost.
“What about moving in together?” Gretchen asked solemnly. “What about you moving off of your parents’ property and gaining some independence?”
“I don’t know,” Naomi replied. “I was thinking that maybe I’d stay a little longer, hopefully get this job, and start working on saving for a deposit for a house. It would probably only take me a year or two, max. I can tough it out at home a little longer.”
“You are really twisting the knife,” said Gretchen. “This is hurting me. My hopes got so high, and now you’re just dashing them out. I feel like I might cry,” she said, swiftly reaching up to blot her eye with a finger. “This is fucking crazy.”
Naomi was looking upset as well, her expression communicating sorrow and confusion and worry. But she didn’t say anything. It was like she was paralyzed.
“I love you, Naomi,” said Gretchen. “And I know you’re dealing with some heavy stuff. I’m here for you through all that. I can’t promise it’s going to be easy and pain-free. But I accept you for you. Okay? Just don’t treat me like this. We went through so much together, so much struggle and pain hiking all that way and enduring the challenges and celebrating the successes. We’re in this together. Don’t push me away. I’m the one that’s here for you.”
“I know,” Naomi said, averting her eyes.
Gretchen had gone from anger to acceptance quickly, and she was trying to be patient. But it was hard. She waited a little bit longer, to see if Naomi had anything else to say. Naomi, however, was silent and she wouldn’t even look at Gretchen. After a moment, Gretchen sighed and she shut her laptop.
“I’ll work on a letter for you and send it to HR at the credit union,” Gretchen said. “Just get your application in. It looks like the new branches are opening in just a few months, so the sooner you can apply, the better.”
“Okay,” said Naomi solemnly.
“I think I’m going to take off,” said Gretchen, removing her laptop from the table and sliding it down into her bag. “If you want to talk, give me a call. Otherwise, I’ll just see you at Dune City on our next shift together.”
“I’m sorry, Gretchen.”
“I am, too,” she replied.
Gretchen stood up and she hefted her computer bag over her shoulder. Looking down at Naomi for a moment, she tried to search herself for the right words to say. But it was hard to be articulate and thoughtful when you felt so bad. Naomi flashed her eyes upward for one more glance at Gretchen and Gretchen just looked back at her with a sober face and flat lips.
“I’m sorry,” Naomi said again.
“I’ll talk to you soon, okay?” said Gretchen. “See you around.”
Gretchen walked off, leaving Naomi sitting there alone in the cafe. Picking up her pace, Gretchen wanted to get outside before she began to cry, but the tears started just as she pushed the glass door open. She was devastated.
Although Gretchen knew that Naomi’s actions could easily be explained by her difficulty in coming out to her family, it didn’t make the feelings of rejection any easier to stomach. Everything had felt so magical in the 100 Mile Wilderness. She wasn’t wrong in really sensing a new bond formed between her and Naomi. But now that they were back in civilization, back home, Naomi was getting cold feet. This had been a lifetime of difficulty for her and one trip out into the woods wouldn’t be enough to soothe her sorrows.
But at the same time, Gretchen had really felt it. There had been a change in Naomi, and being able to live as Nova—if even for a week—had given her the freedom to explore how she really felt. Gretchen knew deep down that Naomi loved her, and that she wanted to be with her, but she only needed to figure out how to make it happen back in their everyday life.
Gretchen was not willing to give up on her friend just yet.
The girls were scheduled to work together at the brewery and Gretchen knew that she wouldn’t be able to avoid bringing things up. But she also knew that they would be in public, at their place of work, with regular patrons and their manager Jim around. Putting Naomi on the spot in this situation would not be a very kind or advisable thing to do. But Gretchen knew she had to say something. She had to push the issue without being so obvious about it.
Throughout their afternoon working together, Gretchen and Naomi were friendly and cordial with one another. Naomi sort of acted like the conversation at the cafe had never happened, and while that made Gretchen sting just a bit, she kept reminding herself that Naomi was going through some stuff, it was certainly hard, and the best thing she could do for her was to be understanding about it and not get angry. Naomi knew how she felt, and Gretchen was sure she knew how Naomi felt in return.
There was a lull in customers, as there often was around dinner time on a weekday. There were two couples off in a corner, playing tabletop shuffleboard in pairs and on one side of the bar there were two regulars, Steve and Benny, both in their sixties, beer bellies, and bearded. It was quiet enough, so Gretchen thought it might be a good opportunity to get away with being a bit cagey herself.
Gretchen removed her phone from her pocket and started to scroll through it.
“Ah ha,” said Gretchen, putting on a smile. “There we go.”
“What’s up?” Naomi asked with interest. The two of them were hanging around the middle of the long bar, perched at the ready in case any new customers arrived.
“I’ve got a date,” Gretchen said matter-of-factly.
“What? Who?”
“This girl Patti,” said Gretchen. “I dated her off and on around the time I first arrived here in TC. But she ended up moving back to Detroit for a while. Now she’s here again, she reached out, and we’re going to see where it goes. You’d like her. She’s super sweet.”
Naomi was silent for a moment, almost pouting. But then she adjusted herself and stood up straight.
“That’s nice,” she said.
“Is it?”
“Yeah,” said Naomi. “It’s nice for you.”
“Does it make you have any feelings?” Gretchen asked.
“I don’t know,” Naomi replied with a shrug.
“I don’t have a date with Patti,” confirmed Gretchen. “I just wanted to see your response.”
“So you’re screwing with me?” said Naomi in a huff. “That’s pretty mean.”
“The only person I want to go on a date with is you,” Gretchen said candidly. “Full stop. But it seems like I can’t have that. So I should probably move on, right? I should probably put you back in the mental compartment of ‘friend’ and find someone else to call girlfriend. Otherwise, there might be a lot of resentment between us.”
“I don’t want to talk about this here,” Naomi replied, crossing her arms.
“It’s quiet,” said Gretchen. “We have six customers and they’re all taken care of right now.”
“I just mean at work,” countered Naomi. “I don
’t want to talk about it at work.”
“All right,” Gretchen agreed. “Well, how about this? I went to the Timberline management office yesterday and talked to them about getting into a two-bedroom. They said they’ve got a waiting list for one-bedrooms like mine, so if I wanted to change it would be really easy to find someone else to take over my lease. We wouldn’t have to wait for my lease to end to get an apartment together. It could happen next month.”
Naomi looked side to side, checking to make sure the customers were all good and that nobody new was entering the tasting room. After a moment, she took Gretchen by the arm and led her through a swinging door into the back room where all the keg barrels were setup. The entire room was chilled to keep the beer at the appropriate temperature.
“I’m sorry, all right?” Naomi said with urgency. “This is really hard for me and my head feels like it’s going to explode.”
Gretchen immediately felt bad for the teasing she had just done. She regretted it.
“Coming out for me isn’t going to be as easy as it was for you,” Naomi continued. “And honestly, I don’t know how to do this or what’s going to happen.”
“I’m sorry,” Gretchen said, feeling guilty. She kept her eyes on Naomi.
“It’s different here,” said Naomi. “My family is conservative and religious, and even though I don’t agree with that stuff I still love them and I still want them in my life.”
“I know,” Gretchen replied. “I’m really sorry, Naomi. I shouldn’t have kept pushing.”
“The hike,” Naomi said, her passions still high. “That was like the best thing that has ever happened to me. Getting to be out there with you, mostly alone, and being able to be affectionate and open… Gretch, that was a dream come true. I just don’t know how to make it happen back home. I’m not as confident as you, and I’m not as free. But of course I want to be with you. Damn it, of course I do.”
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