by Fiona Murphy
Holy crap, I’m blushing so hard my head is swimming.
The sound of him clearing his voice is loud in the room. “As far as going to Che’s on Sunday. I think it’s better if we went separately.”
It’s a punch to the gut. I can’t breathe. I’m fucking pathetic. He’s grossed out at the mere idea of being in the same car as me. I recoil, determined to get away before I start crying in front of him.
“Bethany, wait.” Shaking my head, I keep going. “Damn it, stop.”
“Stay away from me. If you think I’m so gross you don’t want to be near me, you don’t have to be such an asshole about it.” A hand goes around my arm, then I’m up against the wall. Holy shit, Dante is pressing against me, his hot hard body sinking into me. I melt into him. My whole body is coursing with an electricity so strong my teeth clench tight.
A hand comes under my chin, forcing my eyes up to his. “How the hell could you think that? Christ, I’ve already told you I think your body is perfect. Do you feel how hard you make me? Every time I even think of you, this is what you do to me. Except this is a very bad idea. As much as I want you, you deserve more than what I am able to give you.”
I feel him, wow do I feel him. As scary as he promises to be, a hot rush of wet heat floods me, greedy to accept him. Damn it, screw the fear; I’m more afraid I’ll never feel anything like this again. “All I want is you, Dante. Please.”
The temptation to touch him is too strong. I press my hand to his cheek. Scratchy bristles don’t take away from the silky soft skin beneath my fingertips. He trembles, closing his eyes, and I marvel at his response. Thank fucking god, this crazy, insane desire isn’t just me, he feels it too. His hand catches mine, his hold tight as he presses his lips against the back of my hand. “We can’t, there would be too many complications.”
I’m not surprised at his words. “It’s only as complicated as we allow it to be. We make a plan, we stick to it. Just us, just sex, just for a little while.”
“No, Bethany. You and me could never be simple.” I’m in agony as he pushes away from me and walks away. I hate him.
6
Bethany
The trilling of my cell phone ringing yanks me out of a sexy, hot, wet, very wet dream. I’m already pissed when I swipe it off the bedside table only for it to stop ringing in my hand. Fucking shit. I barely manage not to throw it across the room. I check the display: Alicia.
Rolling onto my back, I’m glad I didn’t get a chance to answer, I’m not sure I wouldn’t have spilled my guts. Something tells me Alicia wouldn’t be happy. Which doesn’t change the fact I want Dante. Only it’s not anything as tepid as wanting. I want a lot of things, but with most I couldn’t care less if I actually get them. I don’t want Dante; I need him. Even though it scares the shit out of me, I can’t think of any other word that fits.
I have hated every minute I didn’t have some form of contact from him. It wasn’t until I saw him again after almost a week without him that all the angst and anger churning inside me melted away. Even though he caused a different riot of emotions—need, desire, a giddy happiness—all the negative stuff disappeared and my world was right again. Sitting across from him, the easy quiet was something I’ve only experienced with Alicia. I wasn’t thinking of what I should say or wondering what he was thinking; we were together and it was enough for me.
I’m not delusional enough to think me and Dante will go the distance, I’ll be ecstatic if we make it longer than six months, but I do know I’m not willing to let the fear of what might happen stop me from enjoying the now. Because there’s no guarantee of tomorrow for anyone, something PA school slammed home real quick. I am not willing to wait for Dante when he’s right in front of me, wanting me the same way I want him.
As I consider my options, I wonder how many I actually have. I want to call Alicia back and ask her advice, only I’m pretty sure she’ll freak hardcore. I’m beginning to wonder if she’ll ever see me as an adult capable of knowing what’s right for me. I get I’m lucky to have someone who cares enough to want me to not get hurt or stumble, but I also know it’s a part of life to experience the good and the bad. Hello, I didn’t try and tell her not to go after Cesare.
Then it comes to me, Lydia. Alicia said if it weren’t for Lydia, she doubted she and Cesare would ever have gotten together. Over the last two years Lydia has been awesome enough to make me feel like she isn’t just Alicia’s friend, she’s mine too. I love her crazy sense of humor and the way she says exactly what she’s thinking. I’m pretty sure she’ll be willing to help me. Even though my mind is fuzzy, I send a text asking her when we can meet for lunch. I roll out of bed and am finishing brushing my teeth when she responds she’s free for lunch today after her client. Awesome, we set a time to meet at Goldfinches.
After finishing breakfast, and while I’m working on my second cup of coffee, I call Alicia back.
“Hi, you’re coming over tomorrow, right? I have pregnancy brain and can’t remember if I asked you to.”
“Yep, we’ve talked every day this week and every day you mention it. I’ll be there. Are you sure you don’t want me to bring something?”
“Nope, we’re good. You can bring your bathing suit, if you want to get in the pool. Matteo loves the pool.”
I shudder at the idea of wearing a swimsuit in front of Dante. I don’t want to scare him away. “I don’t have a swimsuit. I threw my last one away. It was all overstretched and icky.”
“Ah, too bad. When we go shopping next week we’ll put one on the list. I’ll make sure Dante drives you, so you can have a drink or two if you want. A word of warning: Dante has a thing for being on time, don’t leave him waiting on you.”
Ugh, I hate shopping. At least Alicia does too, so it shouldn’t be too painful. “Whoopie.” I’m squirming in my chair at the thought of the hour-long drive out to the ’burbs alone with Dante. “Do you think Dante will resent having to drive me? I don’t want to annoy him.” I don’t feel a tiny bit guilty at clinching it so Dante has to drive me.
“Of course not, don’t even think it. I think it’s a good way for you two to get to know each other better.”
“Okay, as long you think he won’t mind.”
“Of course he won’t. It would be silly for him not to drive you, you guys are right across the hall from each other, coming to the same place. Grover, gross, don’t lick in Matteo’s mouth, stop it. I have to go, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Abruptly the call ends.
I shudder at the idea of Grover licking inside anyone’s mouth. Tomorrow I kiss Matteo on his cheek.
***
Dante
I’m on my balcony reading when my phone rings. I check the display: Che. “What’s up?”
“In order to ensure you won’t try to get out of coming tomorrow, I’m going to need you to bring Bethany with you. It’s the caring, big brother thing you now get to do.”
Christ, me and Bethany alone in a car for an hour up there then an hour back. My cock is hard at the thought. “Fine. Whatever. You need me to bring anything else?”
“Yeah, your game face. I talked to Enzo. Good news is the date with the woman didn’t go well. For him the bad news is it didn’t go well.”
“What a fucking relief. I don’t think it will put off him off by a long shot. Then again, any more time he gets to think this through helps. I’ll call him, see if he wants to grab lunch.”
“Good idea. He says he’s coming tomorrow but still better to discuss it privately. See you tomorrow.”
“Yeah.” As soon as the call ends I call Enzo, no answer. It’s almost twelve thirty. I don’t leave a message, I text him.
Want to grab lunch?
I wait, no response. Shit, this means I’m going to his place. Maybe I can get him out on the boat. He likes spending time on my boat.
Getting dressed, I go with khakis and a black polo. I hate the suits, I never wear them unless I’m working.
The minute I open the door, my eyes go to the doo
r across the hall. It’s a good thing I’m on Enzo duty today, the better to keep me away from Bethany. I’ve barely hit the button when her door opens. When she sees me, her eyes go wide, then a smile that could power all of Chicago for a day lights up her whole face. Fuck, she is beautiful
“Hi, where are you off to today?”
“I’m heading over to Enzo’s. The date with the prospective wife didn’t go well. What about you?” She’s wearing a long black skirt and a tight, thin red T-shirt with a black and white graphic of a panda on the front. A long, thin crossbody purse strap is between her breasts.
“Lunch with Lydia at Goldfinches, then while I’m out I thought I’d walk around the Shedd, if it isn’t too busy with kids.”
The elevator opens. I wait for her to get in then step in and press the button. “By yourself?” I hate the idea of her wandering around the city on her own. She looks good enough to eat in the tight shirt.
She laughs. “I am capable of doing things by myself, Dante. I don’t understand why everyone goes all one octave higher when I say I’m going out by myself. I have my mace and forever ago Alicia and I took one of those self-defense courses. It’s been a while, but I paid attention.”
The elevator opens, and I step back for her to exit before me. Her ass is lusciously round and tempting. “Your phone have a tracker on it?”
Nodding at the doorman who asks her if she wants a cab, she looks back to me and shakes her head. “Nope, I’m free as a bird.”
Damn it, all I can do is watch as she nods at the doorman holding the cab door open for her. My phone rings as my own cab pulls up. I give the address as I answer, it’s Enzo.
“I don’t want to go out for lunch. I’m not hungry.”
“Bullshit, I’ll be there in like ten minutes.”
“Fuck you,” is all he says before he hangs up.
***
Bethany
I lean back in the cab, breathing deep. I’m proud of the way I didn’t throw myself at Dante, although it was not easy. He’s so damn sexy.
Before I even realize it, the cab stops in front of the restaurant. I hand over some cash. Out of the cab I find Lydia waiting for me. “I hope you haven’t been waiting long.”
“A few minutes, no big deal. It’s lovely outside, I didn’t want to wait inside. Today would have been nice to take Ella to the park. Decker is hinting at how nice the ’burbs are and how much Ella loves playing in the pool. I love him, but I’m not ready for the ’burbs yet or how close we would be to his dad.”
We go into the restaurant, where we are seated immediately at a table by the window. “Why is he in the ’burbs without you?”
“I had a client today. Normally I don’t take weekend appointments, but it’s not easy to say no to one of my best clients. Decker’s dad bitched last week it’s been weeks since he saw Ella. So Decker took Ella to visit his dad while I was working. He told me to enjoy a day to myself, he understands I’m not in a rush to go over to his dad’s. While his father no longer things I’m a gold-digger, now he’s giving me crap for daring to work instead of being chained to my daughter every minute of the day.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It could be worse. Thankfully, Decker is incredibly supportive and he never has a problem setting his dad straight right in the moment. But I don’t want to cause any more strain to their relationship than necessary. They already wasted a lot of years on their stupid pride.”
The waitress takes our order, a salmon burger for Lydia. I go with two appetizers.
“Tell me, what have you been up to?” I blush, and Lydia’s eyes go wide. “Ooh, interesting. Spill it.”
“Dante is, umm...” I’m blushing again. “He’s doing the same thing Cesare did when he found out Alicia was a virgin. Dante is saying it will get complicated, he can’t give me what I need. Which is making me nuts. I swear these guys, what is up with them? They’re like throwbacks from Victorian times or something.”
Lydia throws back her head as she laughs. Violence is not the answer, Bethany, it is not the answer. She stops laughing when she sees my face. “Sorry, from the outside this really is hilarious. Two big, strong, fabulously wealthy men who get what they want when they want it are cowering in fear of women who are much smaller than them. Then again, when it comes to meeting a woman who will end their bachelor days, which they think is freedom but totally isn’t, it’s understandable.”
Panic hits me in the chest at her words. “Woah, I’m not sure I want—I—” Crap, I can’t get the words out because I don’t mean them anymore. Which is scary. Not even a week ago I would have meant them. I didn’t want anything more than fun, to discover what the whole big deal was about sex. With a guy who knew about all of the sex. Now, shit, my chest is tight at the idea of calling it just sex, or fun, because I know it’s more, only... I don’t know how much more.
The waitress sets down my iced tea, yanking me out of my confusion. I’m grateful for it, this is not the place to try and figure out my jumbled thoughts. I shake my head. “Dante isn’t made for long term. I’m more interested in focusing on the now.”
Lydia sips on her sparking water as she studies me. “I think you’re wrong where Dante is concerned. It was said in those Victorian times reformed rakes made the best husbands. Also the Sabatini brothers are incredibly loyal. Once you’ve earned their trust and respect, there’s pretty much nothing they wouldn’t do for you. When Dante found out Alicia stole the money, he went to try and kick Cesare’s ass for taking advantage of Alicia. Honor means a lot to them, it’s not just a word, and they do everything they can to protect it for them and the people they care about. You also can use it to your advantage.”
“How?” I’m still picking her words apart. What is honor exactly?
Our plates come. “The first part is the admission, at least to himself, of what he’s feeling. Find his spot until he screams uncle. Once he’s there, believe me, Dante will take over.”
The way she says it, it’s as if I might regret Dante taking over. I won’t. I’m looking forward to it.
***
Dante
The entire way to Enzo’s all I can think about is Bethany. Enzo doesn’t even know I’m coming; he won’t miss me if I don’t go. I wince. I’m a shitty brother. After all the bullshit that went down with Nina, Enzo was at my side twenty-four seven for two weeks. He sat beside me, watching me get drunk on a balcony in Ibiza over Christmas so I wouldn’t spend it alone. We didn’t leave the room the whole time until I gave in and we came home to Chicago. This isn’t as bad as Nina; however, Enzo doesn’t take setbacks well. He’s such a meticulous planner that when something dares to happen he doesn’t plan for, he doesn’t handle it well.
His condo is on the fifty-third floor, the whole floor. The elevator opens into a small foyer with a massive door that appears oak but is actually reinforced steel. I unlock the door, without knocking. Enzo might not let me in, which isn’t what he needs right now. The minute I open the door the smell of tomato and garlic hits me. I go down the hall to find his kitchen is a mess. Shit, Enzo is practically OCD when it comes to keeping his world neat and clean.
I head straight to his home gym. He’s throwing punches on a heavyweight bag while 50 Cent thumps loud. Damn, he’s soaking wet with sweat. I press pause. Angry, he turns around.
“Go away.” He growls low in his throat.
I bend down to open his mini-fridge. Like mine, it’s stocked with water and protein shakes. I pull out a bottle of water then throw it at him. Reflexes sharp as ever, he catches it easily. “No. Drink your water then shower. Come on, you need to get the hell out of here.”
Yanking off his glove, he opens the water and in four gulps it’s down. Shit, he’s dehydrated. I grab another bottle. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Shaking my head, I throw another bottle and he grabs it. This time he’s a little slower; he’s breathing deep now. Good, he doesn’t look like he’s going to fall on his ass anymore. “You need food. You need air
. If you won’t leave, fine. Shower out and I’ll order some food.”
His jaw goes hard. He wants to argue, only I can tell he’s starting to feel the ache all over now that he’s stopped moving. “Fine. Carbs, I want lots of carbs.”
I nod as he stumbles out of the room. Taking out my phone, I head toward his kitchen to clean while he gets it together. I place an order to Giordano’s for delivery. They don’t hesitate despite the fact delivery or even takeout isn’t an option on their menu. Spaghetti with extra meatballs and spaghetti carbonara for Enzo, he does eat leftovers, and those are two of his favorites and I go with manicotti with sausage for me and two orders of cheese garlic bread because we don’t share.
Damn, this place looks like a storm hit it. Enzo isn’t a tidy cook, he makes a huge mess as he cooks, then when it’s all over he takes his time cleaning up. Whatever happened likely happened during dinner. I’m closing his dishwasher and turning it on when Enzo comes into the kitchen. He takes a bottle of water out of the fridge. I check the time, another ten minutes or so on the food. He’s sipping on the water now.
I tell him what I ordered. “I’m starving. I might eat both.” He runs a hand through his hair as he mutters, “Thanks.”
“Don’t worry about it. You need some wine?”
He sighs as he leans against the counter. “No, last thing I need is alcohol. I woke up hungover. The first time we went out she said she wanted kids, wanted half a dozen. This time she’s saying not for another five years. What the hell? She’s thirty. If she waits another five years there’s no time for six kids, two, maybe three tops, but then she’s talking spacing them two years apart. It’s a recipe for disaster.”
“Why five years?”
“She wants her career secure enough for her to take maternity leave. Maybe I should be looking at younger women. I was sure at thirty she’d be ready for kids. I liked her dedication to her career, she has her own money, not a lot but enough. This is going to take a little more thought. I didn’t want a younger woman because I was worried they would be flighty. Now I’m wondering if they aren’t a better bet, maybe their career wouldn’t be such a big deal to them.”
