“No, not at all. Thank you, Clint. And I’m sorry Hillary couldn’t make it today.”
The older man waved a hand. “Aw, I’ll see her soon enough.”
“Well, tell her I said hello.”
“Will do.” He waved as he started toward the horse.
Lily looked at Noah and her children and shrugged. “Guess it’s just us then.”
Noah threw on a T-shirt and flip-flops as Colton took the lead while his sister did her best to keep up.
They were almost to a wooded area when Colton stooped and started picking at the ground with his fingers.
“Whatcha got there, Colton?” Noah moved closer. “A rock?”
“I think it’s an arrowhead.” The boy continued to dig.
“Man, I used to search high and low for those when I was your age. My father always told me there weren’t any, but—”
“I got it.” The boy stood. “It is an arrowhead.” He held it out to Noah.
He took hold of the triangular, rough-cut piece of rock and let go a chuckle. “It sure is. Humph. Just wait till the old man sees this.”
“Can I keep it?”
“Of course you can.” He handed it back to Colton, thoughts of fatherhood again plaguing his brain. Making him wish for things that would never be. He cleared his throat. “It’ll be your souvenir of our day on the river.”
He shook off the emotion as the four of them continued into the woods. A breeze rustled the leaves on the trees as birds sang sweetly overhead, flitting from branch to branch.
“You know what I like most about Ouray?” Lily glanced his way, the ground crackling beneath her canvas shoes.
“The charming cowboys?” He grinned, hoping to lighten his mood.
Her brow lifted. “Close, but no.”
“I give up then.” He eyed the children as they ran ahead.
“Ouray makes me feel...normal. As though I’m okay just the way I am.”
Hands stuffed in the pockets of his trunks, he said, “I guess I’m not following you.”
“My entire life, all I’ve ever wanted is to have people accept me for me. Not for what I have or what I could do for them. Not Lily the real estate mogul’s daughter or Wade Davis’s wife, but just me. And aside from my grandma Yates, just me has never been good enough. Not for my mother, not for my husband.” She paused. “Have you ever been in a room full of people and still felt alone?”
That he could relate to. “Just about every time I went into the arena.”
Her smile was one of understanding.
“What’s that place?”
He glanced up to see Piper pointing. Only then did he realize they were at the cabin. His cabin. His home. The place he’d avoided for the past twelve years.
Why hadn’t he paid better attention to where they were headed?
Because you were enjoying yourself.
“What a cute cabin.” Lily approached the neglected log home. “That lilac bush smells amazing.”
He recalled the day he and Jaycee had planted it. It was one of her must-haves for the house because she loved the smell of lilacs. Now it had overtaken the entire north end of her beloved home.
Lily stepped onto the porch as though taking in every detail. “Was this somebody’s home or, maybe, a hunting lodge?”
“Noah said it was his house.” Colton looked from his mother to Noah.
“Can we go inside?” asked Piper.
His mind swirled at the thought. All the memories he’d locked inside, not wanting to ever see them again.
His insides twisted and turned. He began to sweat even though he felt cold.
How could he say no without sounding like a jerk? “I, uh, I don’t have a key.”
Liar. You know there’s one hidden behind the outlet cover.
Obviously sensing his unease, Lily urged her children off the porch. “That’s okay, kids. Perhaps Noah can show us another time.”
There would be no other time. Of that, he was certain.
Yet, rather than telling them why, he’d lied. What kind of guy does that just because he doesn’t want to do something?
A coward, that’s who. Someone who had no respect for others or placed no value on trust. Someone like Wade Davis.
Well, Noah was no coward.
Forgive me, Lord.
“Wait.” He held up a hand to stop them. “There’s a key behind the outlet cover by the door if you’d like to let yourselves inside. If you don’t mind, though, I’ll stay out here.”
“That’s all right.” Lily came alongside him, understanding in the green depths of her eyes. “We don’t need to see it.”
He thought about the beautiful river-rock fireplace and hand-carved beams. Building this house had been a labor of love, and he’d enjoyed every minute of it.
Pride sparked inside him once again.
He glanced at Lily, smiling. “I built it myself.”
She looked from him to the house. “Now I’m intrigued.”
“Three bedrooms, two baths.” Suddenly curious as to what she might think of it, he nodded in the direction of the cabin. “Go ahead and have a look. I’ll be here when you’re finished.”
Her gaze searched his for the longest time. Finally, “We won’t be long.”
“This is so cool.”
Noah couldn’t help chuckling when he heard Colton’s echo from inside, even if it was his usual comment whenever something impressed him.
A short time later, Lily closed the door and returned to his side. “You are a man of many talents, Noah Stephens. The craftsmanship in there is beyond anything I’ve seen before. It’s truly beautiful.” Her words wiped away his anxiety.
“Thank you.” Looking down into her green eyes so filled with life and love, he couldn’t help thinking about what she’d shared with him as they walked. “Earlier you said that just Lily has never been enough. Well, I’ve spent a good bit of this summer with who I believe is just Lily, and you know what I think?”
“What?”
“Not only is she enough, I think Lily’s perfect just the way she is.”
Chapter Thirteen
Lily stood in front of the washing machine the next morning, staring at the rain streaking down the window. How could today be so gloomy when yesterday had been perfect in every way?
She eyed the small pile of swimsuits and shorts. Okay, maybe not every way. But, thanks to Noah, they’d sure made the most of what would have otherwise been an unbearable day.
One by one, she tossed the clothes into the washer, recalling the look on Noah’s face when they were at the cabin. Like a scared little boy who’d been left all alone. It was then that she realized that it wasn’t just any cabin. It was the home he’d shared with his wife. And given all of the photos she’d seen when she went inside, the memories that still lived there were too much for him to bear.
Reaching the bottom of her laundry pile, she spotted the jacket Noah had wrapped around a chilled Piper last night, after the sun set. She picked it up, brought it to her nose and inhaled. It smelled of fresh air, horse and masculinity. Just like Noah.
How sweet it had been to see him so playful with her daughter. But the sight of him holding a sleepy Piper as they sat around their little campfire, roasting marshmallows, was what really got to her.
I think Lily’s perfect just the way she is.
His words played through her mind for about the fiftieth time this morning. And once again, she found herself wondering what it would be like to have the love of a man like Noah. Someone who appreciated her for who she was, instead of trying to turn her into someone else. Someone strong and caring who adored her children and actually wanted to spend time with them.
A clap of thunder brought her to her senses. She tossed the jacket into the washer, closed the lid and pressed Start, mentally kicking
herself. Even if Noah was over his wife, which he obviously wasn’t, what was the point? They’d be heading back to Denver in a month. And Noah was no more likely to come there than she was to stay here.
It was time for her to get the kids up to head to the ranch, anyway. Aside from their lessons and seeing after Honey, she’d received emails from two magazines, Cowboy News and Rodeo Magazine, wanting to schedule interviews with Noah. Meaning she had no choice but to talk with him about timing before she responded.
Yet, when they arrived at the stable, Noah was eager to get going with the kids’ lessons, which was fine by her. Her thoughts from earlier this morning had her feeling rather embarrassed. Not that he knew any of them, but still...
While Piper’s instructor worked with her, Lily made her way down to see Honey. She’d checked on her before heading back into town last night, concerned that the day’s heat might have been too much for her, but she didn’t appear any worse for the wear. If anything, she seemed happier. Perhaps because she’d had the opportunity to get out of the stable and enjoy the outdoors for a while.
Looking left, then right, she observed the other horses as she passed their stalls. Some watched her, while others were oblivious. Mr. Withers always nodded when she walked past, and Dakota did this weird thing with his mouth, as though he was smiling real big.
She stopped in her tracks.
She was actually looking at the horses. Not keeping her eyes to the ground as she would have a week ago. She was learning their names, their habits.
Leaping into the air, she did a fist pump. “Yes!”
Suddenly aware that she might not be alone, she slowly scanned the area, relieved when she saw no signs of anyone.
She continued down the aisle, listening to the varying intensity of rain on the metal roof. She found the sound rather soothing, so long as the rain didn’t fall too hard. Then it was just plain loud.
“Good morning, my Honey girl.” She slid the door aside. “How are you doing today?”
The horse nickered her own greeting as Lily stepped inside.
“Did you sleep well?” She stroked Honey’s muzzle. “You were probably worn out from that long walk yesterday, weren’t you?”
The horse flicked her ears.
“And now you’re hungry.” Over the past week they’d gradually increased the amount of food Honey received, as well as the length of time between feedings, and it seemed to be paying off. The animal was actually showing signs of plumping up, though she still had a long way to go.
After Honey was squared away, Lily returned to the arena, eager to talk with Noah about the interviews. His first one had been very well received, at least judging by the number of inquiries they’d received via the website. Something that had her thinking.
Once the rodeo school was up and running, perhaps Noah should consider some sort of a summer camp. That way he’d be able to bring in students from across the nation as opposed to the region.
Seeing that lessons were still going strong, she continued on to the front office. Maybe Clint was there.
Instead, the place was empty. Not to mention messy.
She moved to the desk, noting the empty clipboards. Of course, with the rain, there were no trail rides this morning. Still, Noah should have someone to take care of these little things, freeing him up for all the other stuff he did. Like running a business.
Locating the consent forms, she attached them to each of the clipboards, hung them on the wall in the lobby and then organized the desk. At least that would make things a little more efficient.
“I wondered where you were.”
She turned as Noah walked into the office.
“Did you do this?” He pointed to the desk.
She lifted a shoulder. “I needed something to pass the time.”
“Lily, you have no idea how much I appreciate that. Sometimes I feel like I’m on my own here.”
Uneasy with his praise, she said, “I need to talk to you about something.”
“Okay. And then I have something for you.”
Something for her?
She briefly explained about the magazine interviews. “For now, they’ll be for their online versions. However, it could lead to an entire spread in an upcoming issue.”
“I like the sound of that.” He paused. “At least, I think so.”
“It’s a good opportunity.”
They looked at the calendar and came up with a handful of dates she could offer the magazines.
“Oh, and before I forget.” She grabbed her tote bag from the chair, pulled out his jacket and handed it to him. “I washed it, so you’re good to go.”
“Thanks.” He set it aside and took hold of her elbow. “Now come with me.”
She couldn’t help noticing the way he grinned as they walked in the direction of the arena.
“Where are the kids?”
“Piper’s helping Colton put Sonic up, and then I told them they could get a snack from the storage room.”
“That ought to keep them busy for a little bit.”
He nodded, opening the gate to the arena. “You’ve been doing very well with Honey this week, and I’ve observed that you’re much more relaxed, even when there are other horses around.”
She stepped inside, recalling her little happy dance a short time ago. “I’ve noticed that, too.”
With the sound of rain on the roof filling the momentary silence, he led her across the arena to where a lone horse still remained. “I was thinking, perhaps, we might try building on that.” He stopped beside the horse.
She eyed the animal, then Noah. “What do you have in mind?”
“I thought maybe you could try a short ride.”
Her heart skipped a beat, but she quickly recovered. “I don’t think I’m up to that just yet.”
“Okay.” Seemingly confused, he shifted from one booted foot to the next. Tilted his cowboy hat back. “Then what if you tried sitting in the saddle for a few minutes?”
She swallowed hard. Helping Honey was one thing. She wasn’t as robust as this horse. What if this one didn’t like her?
Stop this nonsense, Lily. You’re overreacting. Her mother’s words taunted her.
“Come on, Lily, give it a try.” Smiling, Noah patted the animal. “Checkers is a good horse. Mild mannered.”
Her gaze drifted past him, searching for her children. They were nowhere in sight.
She looked at the horse. Her pulse raced. She knew she needed to do this eventually. And that she’d come a long way. But—You’re acting foolish, Lily.
Was she? Like when the horse bit her and she cried? Had she been foolish when that same horse sent her crashing to the ground, breaking her arm? Even Noah had understood her fears.
“Lily...” He leaned closer, his smile teasing. “Come on. Don’t you trust me?”
Her gaze darted to his. Why did he have to say that? She did trust him. But what about the horse? What if it didn’t like her? Or sensed her fear? She’d heard Noah say countless times how good horses were at sensing a person’s feelings. If she got on this horse with apprehension and fear pulsing through her veins, there was no telling what could happen.
So tell him.
And have him think her a fool, too?
She watched him for several moments, silently begging him to understand. When he didn’t, she shook her head. “I’m sorry, I just can’t.”
Then, with disappointment blurring her vision, she hurried away.
* * *
All of this rain was getting depressing.
Oh, who was Noah kidding? His moodiness had nothing to do with the weather. Lily didn’t trust him. And the knowledge of that, coupled with gray skies and daily rains, had made this one miserable week.
Trail rides were down to mornings only and, with the ground growing more saturated by t
he day, things weren’t looking good. If the rain kept coming—which was likely, given southwestern Colorado’s annual monsoon season—things would soon be too slick to risk taking the horses up the mountain.
Sitting at his desk, he thumbed through a stack of invoices and packing slips for items that had been delivered for the new arena. But for the life of him, he couldn’t locate the one for the chutes he’d ordered. They were supposed to have been delivered last week, yet he had no record.
He reached for his cup of coffee, knocking it over. With a loud growl, he sprang from his chair, sending it rolling across the floor. He quickly snatched all of the paperwork out of the way before grabbing a rag to sop up his mess.
Seemed he was good at making messes lately.
He tossed the rag aside. Why wouldn’t Lily trust him?
Because you messed up, remember?
When he forgot to hold Honey’s halter. But he thought they’d worked that out. Evidently he’d thought wrong. He’d barely seen Lily this past week. Sure, she still brought the kids and cared for Honey, but she’d virtually ignored him. And that hurt.
Pacing, he jammed his fingers through his hair. How long had he known Lily now? Four, five weeks? He should not be hurting. They were barely more than acquaintances.
Actually, she knows more about you than most people.
That was his fault for not keeping his mouth shut. Something that only served to further frustrate him. Lily was leaving in a few weeks, and his heart belonged to Jaycee.
He could not keep dwelling on this. He had a business to run. Meaning he needed to find out where those chutes were.
Turning, he marched out of the office and headed next door to the new arena. Perhaps Andrew, who was also his contactor, would know something.
“Andrew!” he hollered as he entered the large metal structure. The word echoed throughout the empty building.
“Over here.”
Her Colorado Cowboy Page 13
