“I’m only just discovering it now. I’m particularly infatuated with yours. Long and thick. So pretty.”
He rolls over onto his side, facing me, his eyes still closed. “You can’t talk like that. Makes me want you too badly.”
I take a chance and touch the plump swell of his lower lip. It’s so intimate, so very cozy. Like this whole place is ours, and we’ve got nothing but time with which we can lavish affection on each other. We haven’t kissed, but I’m aching for it.
Gray catches my wrist with his lips when he turns his chin to the side, planting a kiss in a vulnerable spot. “I’ve never kissed a fae before,” he admits, his lips dragging up my forearm so slowly, I’m worried I might melt on the spot and miss the whole thing. My entire core turns molten, the heat roiling through parts of me that are coiled around his muscular form.
Before I can stop my confession, it tumbles out. “I’ve never kissed a man before.”
Gray freezes, his eyes opening to measure if I’m joking or not. “What did you just say?”
I gulp instead of responding, and finally, Gray sees my sincerity (and probably my radiating mortification).
His hand moves slowly, his knuckles dragging along my cheek. My skin doesn’t have its usual bounce to it, since I’m without my products, but under his care, my scraped-up flesh feels like pure silk.
“I’ll be so careful with you,” Gray whispers, and I believe everything in his promise. I love the sincerity in his gaze that traps in me utter safety while I step out onto this new ledge.
I can feel his breath on my nose. His hint of cinnamon draws me closer because I want something sweet to suck on.
I wasn’t allowed to date. Not really. When I went to prom at the local high school, Sloan chaperoned. Daddy scared the living daylights out of my escort, so he wouldn’t even dare to hold my hand.
There’s something wild about being precious to a man of your choosing that I always hoped one day I’d get to experience. I didn’t expect prison to make such a thing possible, but in this moment as I stare breathlessly into Gray’s tender gaze, I find I’m grateful for the iron gates that keep my father out, so he can’t interfere with me finally nearing this milestone.
When Grayson Knight’s lips brush mine, my entire body lights up with a thrill of newness and the chill of disobedience. I’m not to “lower myself” for any guy who isn’t worthy of the family. Daddy’s never approved of anyone, so I’ve been alone.
But not today. Today, I’m out of the family’s reach, which means I’m allowed to wake up in Gray’s arms.
His lips are warm, which is no surprise, seeing as he always runs hotter than my fae fingers are used to. I don’t mean to release a helpless whimper, but it slips out anyway.
Kissing him sets loose an endless reel of pleasure that zings through my body, awakening fingers and toes and other things—hidden parts of me that I’ve been trying to ignore my entire life. He knows what he’s doing, and doesn’t seem impatient or put out that I don’t. His lips move slowly, giving my sparking brain a chance to catch up and move with the melty rhythm he’s conducting.
I thought I would be anxious about his fangs if I ever got the chance to kiss him, but his lips are so soft, I can’t bring myself to care about anything else.
His fingers direct my chin, giving me that safe feeling of being hemmed in, completely encompassed in a cocoon of protection. It’s okay to make mistakes, to not have the answers. Gray doesn’t require perfection.
The lights go out, but I’m not scared this time. The darkness is ours, not theirs, and it covers my naïveté. Gray shrouds me with his massive form, so not even Charlotte and Cass can witness this private declaration of my independence.
I decide on the spot that I love kissing Gray. It’s my new favorite thing. His lips are velvety and plump, with just the right amount of give.
I’m not sure who’s driving this thing, but I love the ride.
It’s not until his chest rumbles, vibrating with this contented “mm” sound that I realize I’m not the only one caught up in the swirl of something new. Power surges through my veins, knowing that I’m not at his mercy alone; he’s also at mine. I vow to be gentle with him, no matter how rough life gets for us. If he will kiss me like this, I’ll never not fall for his smile. I’ll let him warm me however he likes, and I’ll live happy, knowing I’ll never be cold again.
“Oh, settle down,” Gray whispers as he whips his head away from me, breaking our beautiful kiss as frustration sears our sweet moment.
I shrink, worried I’ve done this all wrong. “What? Am I messing it up?”
Gray leans back in and kisses my lips again, his fingers tilting my chin so there’s no confusion as to what he wants. “Not you. Rafe. He’s too excited. Jumping around and howling like a lunatic. Just let me enjoy this.” Then to me, more clearly, he says, “Never stop kissing me. This is… Are you seeing this?”
I can’t see a thing, which I’m trying not to panic about. “I wish I could see you.”
He kisses me again in slow pecks that only end when his teeth slip over my lower lip, reminding me that his fangs are one of the markers that make us vastly different.
It’s a test. I can feel his eyes on me, peering at me tentatively, waiting for me to react to the reminder that he is shifter and I am very much not.
My fingers coil in his hair, making it clear that his fangs don’t bother me.
We shouldn’t be kissing; we both know this full well. And yet, neither of us minds the valley between his race and mine, because our hearts both beat in the same steady rhythm.
It’s me who draws him closer this time, deepening the kiss because I want to feel the bumps of his fangs against my lips.
A guttural groan rumbles in Gray’s chest, his breath quickening.
Gray kisses me harder, like he loves the taste of my lips and is frantic for more. Then suddenly, he pulls back two inches. “It’s Rafe. He’s…”
Of all the things I expect him to say, it’s not that. “Is that your idea of sexy talk? Because Rafe’s not invited to this party. Go sit down, pumpkin.”
Gray sniggers and then kisses me again, his fingers brushing my cheek. “He’s all worked up.”
“He’s not the only one.” I take a chance with my daring and slide my hand between our bodies, my fingers slipping under the hem of his white tank top, so I can thumb at his navel. “Easy, boy.”
“Ah! Oh, hold up, honey. I can’t control him when you do that.” His hips jerk toward mine, a noise escaping his lips like he’s in pain. “Something’s wrong! Hold up, hold up, hold up.” Over and over, he murmurs the plea, so I slow my libido as much as I’m able, my hand leaving his stomach to stroke his chest in what I hope is a soothing motion.
I don’t mean to search for our auras, but there they are, plain as day, lighting up the dark. I sigh contentedly. Finally, I have something to chase away the bleach and the stink of the trunk. Relief floods my system.
I’ve found a way to defeat the darkness.
Triumph rings through me when I realize it’s my mum’s magic lighting the way. I didn’t realize the auras would light up the night like this, even if only for me.
Our auras should be separate, but they tangle and tease, and then mine does something I don’t understand.
My red and gold glow like they’re on fire. My body jerks against Gray’s, and the fire only I can see latches onto his blue and green, lighting it up so it sparks.
Something is changing. Something significant is making itself known, but I don’t understand what it means.
“Ah!” Gray bucks against me, and then reaches up to hold onto one of the wooden slats of the bunk above us. “Something’s wrong with Rafe!”
There’s no way we haven’t woken Cass and Charlotte with our ruckus. Gray’s breath is heavy, coming in syncopated pants and grunts as his stomach jumps like he’s trying not to throw up.
I sit up halfway, my hand on his chest. “Gray, deep breaths. Are you okay?�
�
“I don’t know,” he admits, sounding scared. “Is this what it’s like to kiss a fae?”
The creak of the mattress across the way warns me we’ve got company. “Give him space,” Charlotte instructs.
“What’s happening to him? We were kissing, and then he…”
Gray’s sweating now, his forehead slick to the touch.
This isn’t how a kiss is supposed to go. Is he sick? Did he come down with the flu in the last ten seconds?
Charlotte touches his forehead with the back of her hand. “I don’t know. I knew something big was going to happen tonight. Is this it?”
“How are we supposed to know?” I cry, scared doubly, now that Charlotte doesn’t have the answers.
When Gray clutches his chest and cries out, I know I should pull back, but I can’t bring my hand to part from him. I’m horrified that my first kiss is crashing and burning so thoroughly before I’ve finished enjoying it.
My mouth pops open. “You always know what’s going on, or you have an inkling! Help me help him, Charlotte! Is there an emergency button or something? We need to get him to Nurse Jen.”
Cass pops up behind Charlotte. “You heard Charlotte, Gray. Deep breaths.” Cass reaches over and taps my shoulder. “Come over here. Give Rafe some space to calm down.”
It takes a bit more coaxing, but finally I move off the mattress and inch to the far corner of the room. This is the worst way my first kiss could’ve gone.
His aura bursts into flames, ripping a scream from my lips. The fire doesn’t consume and destroy, but it’s doing something—changing everything.
I sink to the floor, holding my knees to my chest while Gray howls, no longer trying to keep his struggle silent. Charlotte’s holding down one arm while Cass pins the other, the two using their bodyweight to duel one of his arms apiece.
“He’s changing! Something’s wrong! Get on the top bunk!” It’s Gray’s only warning that he’s about to lose control. I’ve never contemplated the fallout of Rafe not being on his best behavior. “Rafe, no!”
Cass rips Charlotte off of him and all but tosses her on their top bunk, and then leaps up and covers Charlotte’s body with her own. “Move your butt, Arly!”
There’s no way I can hop up on the top bunk in a timely fashion, so I keep to the far corner, my knees hugged to my chest as I shiver on the floor.
There’s a popping sound, and then a sharp growl that sounds nothing like my Rafe. My sweet wolf who’s no more intimidating than a kitten is gone, and in his place is… something. I can’t quite make it out. The aura has vanished, or maybe it’s there, but I can’t focus enough to see it.
I also can’t move. My knees are shaking even as I hold them tight to my torso. The sound the snarling is coming from is far higher up than where Rafe’s head would be. I can hear his maw sniffing and snarling in the dark.
26
Rafe’s Girl
“Rafe?” I try to sound commanding, but I don’t think anybody is fooled. “You can calm yourself right about now, pup. I don’t like this one bit. You’re stressing out Gray. You’re supposed to be asleep, Mister.”
The scolding doesn’t elicit the penitent whine I was hoping for. Instead, Rafe comes nearer, bumping into both bunks with purpose. His growl has a gurgle behind it, scaring me because it sounds so otherworldly. I don’t have a reference for an animal who hunts like this.
When his nose touches my arm, I can feel how much bigger than the gray wolf Rafe has become.
I want to scream. I want to pound on the door with my fists and run. But Gray’s trapped inside of Rafe now, and I want my guy back. I can’t leave him powerless.
I take a chance and reach out, tangling my fingers in Rafe’s fur, whether it’s a welcome advance or not. His head is huge, bigger than the seat of a folding chair. I don’t understand it. Rafe was a big boy. Stretched tail to snout on the bed, he was as long as me. He was sweet and cuddly. This beast is… I don’t want to say monster, but it’s not far off. I can’t fathom how big his body must be. From the way he’s bumping into both bunks, I’m guessing he’s taller than the top mattress, even though he’s on all fours.
“S-sit down,” I command, though it sounds more like a suggestion than anything remotely authoritative.
I’m shocked when the whoosh of air tells me he’s obeyed, but the snarling gurgle tells me he’s not thrilled with me. Or with sitting. Or with Gray.
“G-good boy,” I stammer as I manage to stand on wobbly legs. I know I shouldn’t pet him, but that’s exactly what I do.
When my hand lands on his head, he snorts and throws his body around so aggressively that I scream.
“Arly!” Cass bleats, still guarding Charlotte with her body.
It takes a few seconds to collect myself, but I do my best. “I’m not afraid of you. Gray is a good man who would never let anything bad happen to us. We protect each other, so whatever you’re doing here, you’re going to listen to Gray and calm yourself down, young man.”
He doesn’t like anything I’m saying, but his gurgling snarl seems to be the worst of it.
I reach out tentatively and tangle my fingers in his fur again, letting him know that, as scary as he wants to be, I’m not going anywhere.
He harrumphs with a loud snort, which gives way to a flash of his aura. It’s more blue and less green now, but I can see brushes of my golden glittery aura knotted through. I wonder if it would even be possible to separate my colors from his. They look married together, bound in a way that not even fate could separate.
Though my knees are quaking, I lean forward and coil my arm around Rafe’s neck. “Easy, pumpkin. You’re still my good boy.” I have to lean up on my toes, and he has to bend his neck, but we manage to connect in a way that settles the uncertainty in us both. “That’s the way, pup. I know this room is too small for you. Eventually, you might have to give Gray back to us, because you’re going to hurt yourself, hemmed in like this.”
He licks my cheek, slurping slobber so thick, it’s an effort not to wince.
“Thanks, pumpkin.” I stroke his side, marveling at the thickness of the fur as I rest my head against his heavy frame. Just like his owner, Rafe is good at cuddling, and steps a paw around my body, hemming me in because we both know that this is where I belong.
Finally, he whines and gives my hair a curious sniff, acting like a pup, rather than a monster.
If hearts could physically grow when they experience a leap in love, mine would be enlarged and still expanding as Rafe nuzzles me as best he can in the cramped space.
Our blue and gold auras shoot out in time with my burgeoning affection. And though no one can see the light show except for me, I can’t help but feel a change sparking in the air.
Maybe a connection like ours can change things. Maybe hope is more tangible than I thought.
“Something’s happening,” Charlotte warns as the blue and gold near the spot where she’s lying on the top bunk beneath Cass.
The brilliant color combination concentrates into a line, funneling with purpose… into Charlotte’s ear?
I’m not sure what I’m seeing, or even if an explanation is needed. I mean, other than my mum, I never knew anyone who could read auras. They were never vindictive, only an indication of a person’s innerworkings.
Why did mine combine with Rafe’s? And more importantly, why did the duo of colors go into Charlotte?
Then I watch in horror that’s mingled with fascination, as my aura slips into Cassia’s ear, as well.
I want to tell the both of them to sit up so I can examine what’s what, but I can’t bring myself to part from Rafe’s snuggle. He was frightening half a minute ago, but now I’m already building a giant doghouse for him on my Henley property in my mind.
I plant a kiss in his fur, mimicking his whines of adoration because all I want is to stay exactly like this.
“Can you change him back?” Cass asks, not bothering to attempt sounding brave.
I don’t
know how any of this works, but I know that if I want Gray to hear me, he will find a way to listen. That’s just his way.
I lean up on my toes and kiss Rafe’s cheek. Then I whisper in his ear, “I love you, sweet pumpkin. But I need Gray if I’m going to get any sleep tonight. Can you send him back to me?”
Rafe licks my arm and whines.
Before I can make sense of the instant transition, Rafe’s enormous form is gone, and in its place is Gray, shivering and naked in my arms.
There are too many questions, but none of us has a single answer. I want to tell them about my aura going rogue and doing what it pleased, but that seems the least of our problems.
“Let’s sit you down, Gray,” I manage, helping him lower himself onto our mattress.
“Did that just happen? Was Rafe really like that? He doesn’t look like that! I don’t understand!”
Gray’s concern scares me, because he’s supposed to know more about his animal than we do.
“Have you noticed anything different in him lately?”
“No! When we were kissing, something happened, but it was like a switch in my body, not mutant acid raining down on me and turning me into that! Did you do something to me?”
I can’t focus anymore, so the light from the auras goes out, and nothing I can do conjures it back. I’m plunged in total darkness, right when I really need to see Gray’s face. Is he scared? Is he himself? Is he alright?
My eyes slam shut, doing what I can to make the darkness mine, and not anyone else’s.
I drop to my knees before our bed to keep the room from spinning. “No! Gray, I don’t know what happened, I swear!” My hands rest on his naked knees, pleading with him for understanding.
His fingers tangle in my hair. “I shouldn’t have said it like that. It’s okay, Arly-girl. We’ll make it okay. I’m just turned around, is all.”
Cass shouts from the top bunk, indignant. “You’re turned around? I’m scared out of my mind! Does a shifter’s animal change like that out of nowhere?”
Gray keeps his hand in my hair. “No. They grow as we age, but nothing like that. I don’t know what happened.”
Sins of the Father: A Paranormal Prison Romance (Sinfully Sacrified Book 1) Page 19
