by Emily Woods
Sean, I do not harbor resentment toward you. I wish you well, and I wish well for your family. I can only dream that you will extend to me courtesy and grace as we tread forward in our separate lives.
I will be praying for you. I forgive you.
Sincerely,
Miss Betha O’Connor
3
“It’s time for passengers to disembark, miss!”
Betha’s lips curled down in a frown.
“I heard you the first time, sir,” she said coolly, fighting exhaustion from the long journey to California.
Betha knew she looked tired, but she had made every effort to look presentable on the day she was going to meet her husband-to-be. Betha had painstakingly woven her dark curls into tight braids that wound around the top of her head like a crown. She had forgotten the cream-colored powder she used for her face, so her freckles were a prominent feature, but Betha had tried to compensate for the small blemishes by purchasing a soft pink paint for her lips at the penultimate stop on the journey to California. The color looked elegant against Betha’s pale skin, and she smiled at her reflection in the dirt-streaked windows as she exited the train.
Beth had saved two dresses for this day. The first dress was the mint green frock that she had worn on the day Sean had proposed a courtship. The dress brought back bittersweet memories, but Betha knew that the color suited her well, and she wanted to look pretty when she met Charles.
The second dress Betha saved for this day was the most special frock she had ever owned. It was going to be her wedding gown. Betha and her mother had purchased the dress at a consignment shop downtown, and while it was secondhand, it was the most luxurious thing Betha possessed. The wedding gown had a high neckline, a long train, and large, puffy sleeves that resembled the low-hanging clouds over the western plains. Mrs. O’Connor had surprised Betha by purchasing a pair of new silk gloves to match the wedding gown, and Betha could hardly contain her excitement as she tried on the entire ensemble for the final fitting in her childhood bedroom on the evening before she left Boston.
“It’s perfect, Ma!” Betha exclaimed as she examined her reflection in the mirror.
“You would make a lovely bride for anyone, sweet girl,” Betha’s mother said lovingly as her daughter turned to examine the back of the dress. “You will be a lovely bride and a good wife! That Sean Flanagan does not know what he is missing!”
Betha turned to face her mother.
“Now, Ma,” Betha said gently. “I am not holding a lick of anger over Sean Flanagan’s silly head! The boyo likely did me a favor, and I am excited to follow the call of the Lord. I truly believe He is calling me west, and west I will go!”
“West you will go,” Mrs. O’Connor murmured.
Now, as Betha stood amidst the crowds in the Pinecone, California, train station, she looked at each man with quizzical eyes.
“Is that him? Perhaps it is! That man looks like a loving father. No, perhaps that fellow is my husband-to-be! Oh, goodness. How will I know him? He didn’t really give me a good description of his appearance. What if I don’t recognize him? Lord, please bring me peace! Help guide me to my husband-to-be!”
Suddenly, Betha ran straight into a hard, stationary object. The force sent Betha flying backward, and she fell onto her bottom.
“Oh, miss! Pardon me. Are you alright? I ain’t seen you there!”
Betha looked up into the face of a tall, blonde-haired man. He had a curly blonde beard, and his blue eyes were filled with concern. He wore a large ten-gallon hat, leather boots, and a dirt-streaked blue shirt. He looked rough, but was indisputably handsome; Betha could see the outlines of his muscled arms beneath his shirt, and she was drawn to his unruly beard. She had never seen a fellow so unkempt before. In the city, even the lower-class fellows and ladies tried to maintain appearances.
“I am real sorry, miss! I was distracted. I am looking for a very special lady who is supposed to be arriving today, and I just lost my wits. I ain’t clumsy like this all the time, I promise!”
Betha smiled warmly at the man.
“It’s quite alright,” Betha replied, brushing dust off of her pale green skirts.
“Ahhh! Is that an Irish tongue I hear? What is a pretty little Irish girl like you doin’ all the way out here in Pinecone? We ain’t got any Irish folks here!”
“I am looking for someone as well,” Betha explained as the stranger’s eyes grew large. “I came to California from Boston. My family moved to Boston from Ireland when I was a girl, and now, I am here in Pinecone to meet my husband!”
Before Betha knew it, the man had thrown his arms around her and was swinging her around in the train station. He was laughing to himself, and finally, he set Betha down on the ground.
“Sir? What are you doing?” Betha asked as the man continued to laugh.
“Miss O’Connor! It’s you! I ran straight into my own bride-to-be!”
Betha’s mouth dropped open. She took in the sight of the tall, blonde-haired man beaming down at her.
“Charles?” Betha whispered incredulously as the man nodded enthusiastically.
“You are here! You are in Pinecone! We have found each other! Praise the Lord, He delivered you straight to me, and I did not even know it was you! Praise Him!”
Betha was stunned. Her large eyes filled with relieved tears. She was so tired from her journey, and by finding Charles so quickly, she was overcome with a sense of peace.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Charles,” Betha said as she dropped into a polite curtsey.
“The pleasure is all mine! I have been waitin’ and prayin’ about you since your first letter arrived all of those weeks ago! You are prettier than I could have imagined, Miss O’Connor!”
“Please, call me Betha,” Betha said.
Charles smiled.
“Well, Betha, let’s get on out of here! I am sure you are real tired and would like to have some quiet time before the wedding. Speaking of the wedding, I arranged with the preacher to have the wedding tomorrow morning. I wanted you to have some time to yourself before we get married, and I hope that is alright with you!”
Betha nodded.
“That sounds just perfect,” she said.
Betha glanced around the station.
“Charles?”
“Yes, Betha?”
“Where is your son? In your letter, you mentioned your son! Is he here with you?”
The smile disappeared from Charles’s face. He shifted back and forth nervously. Betha was confused.
“Your son, Charles? Where is he?”
“He is with my parents tonight,” Charles began slowly as Betha watched him squirm. “I thought it would be nice for us to share a meal together before the big day tomorrow! My parents live in a real nice house nearby, and they look after the boy while I am gone away at work, or when I have business to attend to around my house. It has been real hard raising the boy alone, but I am real blessed to have my folks nearby to help.”
Betha thought this was a reasonable answer, and she nodded at Charles.
“I cannot wait to meet him. What is his name?”
“His name is William, but we call him Billy,” Charles said, his face breaking into a soft smile at the mention of his son’s name. “Billy brought us all great joy when my wife died, and I think you two will get on real good.”
“I am sure we will!” Betha said as she patted Charles’s shoulder reassuringly.
“We will be a happy family,” Charles replied as he took Betha’s hand away from his muscled shoulder and squeezed it in his.
That night, Charles and Betha dined together in Charles’s small but tidy log cabin.
“It ain’t nothing special, but I keep it as nice as I can. I want Billy to know that his pa loves him and has provided a good home for him,” Charles said apologetically as Betha had entered the two-room cabin.
Betha had taken a long look around the cabin. It was small, but she could see each log was perfectly cut and plac
ed to form the sturdy, dark walls of the dwelling. There were two windows, one facing north and one facing east. A large oak table sat in the middle of the kitchen, and there was a small living room at the front of the house.
Betha looked from the kitchen to the door of the living room.
“Where do you sleep?” Betha asked Charles.
Charles pointed to the corner of the living room. A thin wooden ladder was propped against the wall.
“Billy sleeps down here; it’s much warmer in the winter. I sleep upstairs in the loft. It’s not fancy, but it is a decent place to rest my head,” Charles explained.
He paused for a moment, and Betha could see that Charles was blushing under his beard.
“What is it, Charles?” Betha asked.
Charles tilted his head stared at Betha, his eyes dancing with mischief.
“You’ll sleep up there too, come tomorrow night, Miss Betha O’Connor.”
Betha’s face burned. She knew what Charles was alluding to, and while she had never even kissed a man, after many conversations with her married sisters, Betha was eagerly anticipating her first night under the same roof as her husband-to-be.
“A wedding night is filled with magic,” her sister, Fiona, had whispered to Betha in the weeks after Fiona’s wedding. “You will feel like your heart and body are going to burst with love for your husband after your first night together! It’s nothing like you’ve ever known, Betha!”
Betha had giggled as her sister discussed the intimate details of her wedding night, and as her courtship with Sean Flanagan had developed, Mrs. O’Connor had taken it upon herself to discuss the facts of life with her youngest child.
“It’s the most beautiful, natural thing in the world, Betha, and sharing such a special, sweet time with your husband is a way to honor the Lord! You will enjoy it all more than I could ever tell you. We Irish women are especially knowledgeable of how to make our men happier than they could have ever imagined”
“Ma!” Betha had exclaimed. “This talk feels improper! I am not even engaged yet!”
Mrs. O’Connor had smirked.
“Well, dear girl, I sense that your time as a wife to Sean Flanagan is just around the corner, and I want you to know that while you may feel all sorts of happy feelings now, the best is yet to come!”
Little did Betha know that she would never marry Sean Flanagan, but now, as she stood in the middle of the dimly-lit cabin in California, her mother’s sentiments regarding the duties of a wife felt more relevant than ever. Betha’s strong, tall husband-to-be was grinning at her, his eyes twinkling, and Betha had a fire in her belly that she had never known.
“I don’t want to scare you off already, Betha,” Charles said quietly as he took in the sight of Betha’s wide eyes and red cheeks. “I don’t want to be too forward. I know we don’t know each other real well, but I want you to know that I think you are real pretty. I had been praying a long time for someone to answer my advertisement, and you did not even let me respond before buying a ticket to California!”
Charles moved closer to Betha. She did not step away, and soon, he was standing just before her, his face only inches from hers.
“Your faith is so big, Betha, and I can tell already that you and I will be a good pair together. You will make a good mother to Billy, and I know that you will make a good wife to me.”
Betha could feel Charles’s cool breath on her face. He slipped a hand around her waist and pulled her even closer to him. Betha shivered. She had never been held like this before by a man, and while she was apprehensive, her attraction to Charles grew even more intense. She looked into his eyes, and he took her face in his hands.
“May I kiss you?” Charles whispered, and Betha nodded.
Charles slowly pressed his lips to Betha’s. The kiss was tender and gentle, and the warmth in Betha’s belly suddenly filled her entire body. She leaned into Charles’s embrace, and before she could stop herself, she uttered a quiet moan.
“You are a pretty gal, Betha O’Connor,” Charles whispered as he pulled back from the kiss.
“I am happy to be here, Charles,” Betha replied.
Charles’s response was immediate. He took Betha’s face in his hands once more and guided his mouth to hers. He kissed her long and passionately, and Betha could not stifle another moan. Betha wrapped her arms around Charles’s waist, and she felt him slip a hand through her curly dark hair.
“It feels like we already know each other, doesn’t it?” Charles said softly as he gently stepped back. “The Lord must have known what he was doin’ when He told you to answer my advertisement!”
Betha spent her final night as a single woman at the Pinecone Inn.
“You did not have to arrange this!” Betha said to Charles as he escorted her inside the inn. “I could have happily stayed with your parents, Charles! This is too much!”
Charles looked nervous at the mention of his parents, but then smiled sheepishly.
“I wanted you to feel comfortable and taken care of on your first night in Pinecone, and since you cannot stay in the cabin with me, I thought this would be a real nice treat for you, especially after your long journey!”
Betha thought back to the previous hour alone in the cabin with Charles. After the pair had consumed a modest dinner prepared by Charles, they had kissed passionately until Betha realized the cabin had grown dark.
“It’s nearly nighttime, Charles!” Betha said as she squinted in the darkness.
“It’s improper for you to stay here as an unmarried woman, so I have made arrangements for you to stay at the Pinecone Inn!” Charles had told Betha with pride in his voice.
The Pinecone Inn was like everything else that Betha had seen thus far in Pinecone, California: shabby, but clean. The innkeeper’s wife, Gerta, was a jovial, plump woman, and she welcomed Betha into the green-roofed inn with open arms.
“Charles’s lady is here! Welcome to the Pincecone Inn!” Gerta exclaimed as Charles walked Betha up the steps of the inn.
“We are real pleased to have you, ain’t we, Paul?” Gerta called to her husband.
“Yes, ma’am! Welcome to our humble town. It ain’t fancy, but we are a good, Godly community of good people,” Paul said emphatically as he shook Betha’s hand.
“Charles? Where is Billy?” Gerta asked as she walked with Charles and Berta into the inn’s cozy sitting room.
“Has the boy taken with his new ma yet, Charles? He will be so tickled by her Irish lilt! Betha, the boy is just a real doll. He looks like an angel baby! He has the softest blonde hair, and his eyes—”
“She will meet him soon enough,” Charles said brusquely.
Gerta stopped her chatter and stared at Charles.
“Does Betha know all about little Billy, Charles?”
Charles sighed.
“Betha knows that I have a real cute little boy, and that my little boy needs a new mama. That is all that matters. Now, let us get Betha settled, Gerta. She is real tired from her journey, and I want my bride-to-be to be well-rested for her wedding day…and for her wedding night!”
Charles winked at Betha, and she blushed, still remembering the heat she had felt when Charles had pressed his body against hers during their passionate kisses in the cabin.
“I will take good care of her and get her nice and ready for the ceremony. I’ll make sure she cleans up real nice and is at the church promptly by ten in the morning, don’t you worry. Now, Charles, you get out of here! Leave me some time with this pretty Irish gal. We never had new people ’round these parts, and I want to hear all about Boston!”
Charles grinned.
“I’ll leave you two gals to visit, but don’t talk her ear off, Gerta!”
Charles leaned in and kissed Betha on the cheek. She tried to smile demurely, but she felt a huge grin spread across her face.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Betha,” Charles said as he left the inn.
Gerta took Betha’s hands in hers.
“Oh, I
’ve seen that look before! You look just as in love as I did on the night before my wedding twenty years ago! You couldn’t have picked a better fellow. Charles is a humble rancher, but he is a good man, Miss Betha. He loves the Lord, and he is the most devoted pa to his little boy! You are a lucky gal, mark my words!”
Betha knew that Gerta was right; she could feel it in her soul that Charles was right for her, and she knew that the Lord had placed her in Pinecone. She had not expected to be taken with him so quickly, but he was so kind and carefree. Charles was strong and handsome in a way that Betha had never before experienced with the lads back home in Boston, and she could not deny the sparks that had so quickly flown between them as they spent time together in Charles’s little cabin.
“You picked a good one, and you will love his little boy, I just know it!”
Betha tucked a stray dark curl behind her ear.
“Tell me more about Billy? Charles has hardly mentioned him, and I do want to hear about my new son!”
The smile disappeared from Gerta’s round face. Gerta furrowed her brow and crossed her arms across her large bosom. She looked down at her worn leather boots and frowned.
“Gerta?” Betha gently prodded.
Gerta exhaled slowly. “Billy is a beautiful boy, Betha,” Gerta began, choosing her words carefully. “He has some difficulties, though. They do not affect his behavior, but he does struggle. I know it is hard on Charles, and it…
Betha narrowed her eyes. She hadn’t the slightest clue as to what Gerta was trying to tell her, and she felt puzzled by the secrecy that seemed to permeate every conversation pertaining to Billy.
“Gerta,” Betha said slowly. “Please, Gerta, before I marry this man, before I give myself to him in every way, please be honest with me. What is the matter with Billy? Is he in poor health?”
Gerta shook her head.
“Oh no, child, he is perfectly healthy! He is healthy and real cute. He just ain’t like the other children around here.”
Betha sighed.
“As long as he is healthy, he must be fine,” she replied, shrugging as Gerta’s face relaxed in relief.
