His beloved aunt had passed away.
Hudson dropped his head to her arm, and then he leaned in and placed a kiss on her forehead. Pulling away from her, he rose and strode out of the room quickly. He jogged down the stairs to his study to pour a large amount of whisky for himself. In one gulp, he tossed down the drink and poured himself another. He continued doing that seated behind his desk until the decanter was almost empty.
He had erroneously thought that the liquor would douse the knowledge of Aunt Agnes’s demise, but his brain was still as sharp as ever. He was shocked at his reaction to the woman’s departure. This was not the way he had acted when he lost his beloved mother. Maybe he hadn’t really realised what he was losing then, but he was acutely aware of it now.
His confidant was gone. Who would he spend hours talking to and sparring with?
Loneliness hit Hudson at that point. That was the moment he became solemnly aware that he truly had to make his marriage to Tempest work because if it didn’t, losing her was another thing that would devastate him. If she were his wife indeed, she would have been here to comfort him. In her arms he would have found solace from the void filling his heart. Alas, that wasn’t the case.
Hudson went on drinking until he could barely see the decanter and then he passed out on the chair. In what he assumed was a dream, he saw Tempest coming to him and lovingly caressing the hair that had fallen across his forehead. Then she inclined her body towards his and placed a kiss on his forehead. He believed it was a dream, but he couldn’t be too sure because it looked so real.
With all his heart, the distraught man prayed that it was real and that Tempest truly cared for him in secret.
A blinding headache woke Hudson up the following morning, and he cursed himself at partaking in so much spirits that he almost lost his senses.
A sense of loss hit him as he remembered why he had indulged in so much alcohol in the first place. Even though he felt like weeping, he was happy that Aunt Agnes had died peacefully and happily.
Staggering to his feet, Hudson acknowledged that instead of feeling sorry for himself, he had to make the appropriate funeral arrangements for his aunt. He had set it in place months ago when he first learnt of her impending demise and also at her insistence. It had been a nasty affair, and now he knew it would be worse because she was gone.
After he had cleaned himself up with the help of his valet, he set about making preparations for her funeral. Sympathetic callers were also received and through it all, he saw how beautifully Tempest handled everything as the mistress of the house.
They hadn’t spoken a word to each other since their steamy interlude in the carriage. He had tried seeking her, but it appeared as if she was avoiding him. Hudson put off talking to her until after the funeral.
The next few days were quite busy after Aunt Agnes had been laid to rest in the burial ground of the Danvers in the estate. Mourners had come from far and wide to attend the simple ceremony on that cold spring morning. Then there were her investments to handle and his inheritance and various charity organisations she made donations to including her personal maid, Joanna.
Therefore, it was a week after the dowager’s funeral before he finally had time for his wife. In fact, she was the one who sought him in his study while he was tidying up some of his business affairs.
“I wish to speak to you,” she said in a calm voice after she knocked softly on the door and entered at his summons.
Hudson reclined on the chair and studied her with appreciating eyes. She was like a breath of fresh air in her pale yellow silk dress. He pointed at the chair in front of the oaken desk, and she settled herself on it.
“What do you want to speak to me about?” he asked, putting aside the papers on the desk.
“We haven’t really had an opportunity to talk since Aunt Agnes’s departure. Please accept my sympathy. I know how much she meant to you.”
Hudson noted that his wife wasn’t looking at him but staring at the portrait of one of his ancestors above his head. He figured that what she had come to say to him was going to be very difficult for her; hence her reason for avoiding his gaze.
“Thank you,” he simply said and waited for her to go on. He hoped to God that she wasn’t here with the outrageous accusation about their marriage being fake. Because if that were the case, he would drag her, servants staring and all, to the vicarage for her to accuse the man of the cloth to his face.
“It’s unfortunate that she’s gone, but life must go on,” she continued, staring at her hands.
“Certainly, it must,” he concurred, watching her closely.
His mind drifted to how long he would have to wait before he made her his. Although he had been very busy of late, it wouldn’t do to leave such a beautiful and delectable wife to her devices for too long.
A pang hit him as he realised how much he missed her. He missed their arguments and their friendship even though it was somewhat inconsistent.
“Why really are you here, Tempest?” Hudson asked when his wife seemed to be struggling with her words.
Looking him straight in the eye, she said, “Now that the dowager is gone, unfortunately so, I don’t see the need for us to pretend to be married anymore.”
His breath hissed out of him. Truly, Tempest could test a mink’s patience. He couldn’t understand why she was still on about their marriage being a pretence.
“For the last time, Tempest, we‘re married. It’s not pretence. Our marriage certificate is valid anywhere in the world,” he rasped with annoyance.
Maybe it was time to tell her why he had sought for a wife at all cost. Mayhap she would understand and do away with her wrong assumptions.
She forestalled him by saying. “Fine. Now that you have your inheritance, I don’t see the need for us to remain married. We can quietly have it annulled. Thank goodness it was never consummated, not from a lack of trying on your part.”
Hudson’s eyes narrowed. If her mission here was to annoy him, then she was succeeding at it. But he resolved to stay calm. Tempest thrived on controversies and arguments. He wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of getting him in a vile mood.
Reclining in his chair, he sighed. “I don’t know how to get it into your head, Tempest, that I didn’t marry you for any reason relating to greed. I married you because of Aunt Agnes.”
Her brows arched. “What do you mean by that?”
“When I came into my inheritance and then tripled it, Aunt Agnes feared that I would squander it in London gaming parlours and clubs just like some unfortunate men out there. So, she was of the opinion that a wife would force me to be responsible. I tried to reassure her that I wasn’t in any way like my cronies, but she always had the fear that associating with them would make me be like them.
The day I found out about her illness, I swore then that before it took her away, I would make her heart settled where I was concerned. Hence my search for a wife to make my aunt happy and get her not to worry about me which would have worsened her condition and hastened her demise. That was why I appeared desperate then. It was not because of the inheritance; it was not because I was looking for a wife with a massive dowry to settle my gambling debts. It was to please my dying aunt. The wedding needed to be done right away since her condition was deteriorating by the day.”
Tempest’s lips parted in surprise. Her husband smiled at her, and he could see that he had shocked her. Oh, Tempest, always ready to think the worst of him.
He rose from the chair and pushed it back. Moving across the desk, he came to lean a hip on the desk beside her, crowding her.
“I must confess when I took you from your London home to this place, all I thought about was marrying you to please Aunt Agnes. But on our wedding day when you walked towards me, I realised that I’d fallen hopelessly in love with you all over again.”
Tempest drew in a ragged breath, rose abruptly from the chair, and went around it to put some distance between them. Hudson straightened and looked at her
with imploring eyes.
“I meant what I said on our wedding night; I want a real marriage. Tempest, I truly want you to be my wife. Let’s put aside why we came to be here together and start anew. I’m repeating my words to you that night, Tempest. I will be a loving husband to you, and you will never have cause to regret being married to me.”
He ran his fingers through his hair in desperation as he saw that his passionate plea wasn’t getting to her. She was still staring at him with horror in her eyes.
“Tempest, I’m not a romantic, so I might not find the right words to tell you how much you mean to me, but I beg you to stay with me and make out marriage work. We were very good friends in the past, and I reckon we can still be the best of friends again given time.”
*****
Tempest’s heart cried out as Hudson continued to tell her what it wanted to hear, but her brain also cried for her to be reasonable. The fact that Hudson was saying sweet words to her didn’t mean he would make her happy.
You love him. Why not stay with him and have a blissful marriage?
Shaking her head and moving to the window to hide the tears in her eyes, Tempest admitted that she couldn’t stay with Hudson. Even though she loved him, she had been unhappy married to him these few weeks.
But things are going to be different now. He has sworn it. He wants a real marriage now.
Tempest continued shaking her head at the voice trying to convince her to stay with the man she loved. She loved him, but she couldn’t be the wife he wanted and needed. She couldn’t keep house neither could she stay in a place like Strombridge. Her heart yearned for London, and even though she lived a quiet life over there, she preferred it to this place a thousand times and more. If she stayed, she would end up destroying Hudson because she wasn’t the right woman for him. He needed someone like Valerie who was ready and willing to be a wife and a mother. She wasn’t!
“Tempest, I need an answer.”
Tempest whirled around. She hadn’t heard him move. He was standing behind her with his temples wreaked with strain and an emotion in his eyes that she couldn’t quite read.
Tears rolled down her eyes as she gave him her answer that was tearing her heart into shreds.
“I’m sorry, Hudson, but I’m not the woman for you.” Her voice was apologetic, but it nevertheless had a devastating effect on him. His face blanched, and he flinched as if she had slapped him.
“Maybe you should marry a woman who is ready to be a wife and a mother. I’m so sorry, but I don’t think I’m that woman because I can’t be a good wife to you or a good mother to your children.”
Hudson took a step forward with a pleading note in his voice. “How can you be so sure, Tempest? I don’t know anything about being a husband either, but I’m willing to learn.”
Tempest took a step back as tears poured down her face. “But I’m not willing to. I’ve always told you, Hudson that I’m not cut out for marriage. I don’t know anything about keeping a house, setting meals with the cook, knitting, crocheting, entertaining visitors, and such domestic tasks. Albert does all that in my father’s house. I don’t want to learn neither do I have a care for such things because they don’t give me pleasure. Running a gaming parlour makes me happy, not being a wife. And if you must know, it was one of the reasons I left, Hudson. I was unhappy being your wife, and I don’t think that is going to change anytime soon no matter what you say right now.”
Tempest registered with dismay that her words had finally got to him for his shoulders slumped and an unreadable expression spanned his face.
“You’ve been unhappy?” he questioned in a voice filled with pain.
Tempest nodded. Trying to spare his feelings by lying that she was even the slightest bit happy here would only cause him further pain.
Hudson closed his eyes for a moment, and she could see the pain marking his features. Abruptly, he opened them, and the coldness she saw in them sent icy shivers up her spine.
Sounding very businesslike even though she could see the hurt in his countenance, he said, “Very well then. You may leave, Tempest. I’ll have my barrister draw up annulment papers and have them sent to you so you can be free of me to do as you please.”
Spinning on his heel, he went across the table and resumed the seat he had earlier vacated.
“I’ll have the butler arrange everything you need for your trip back to London. And I’m sorry things had to end this way between us.”
Clearly dismissed as Hudson opened a file and began perusing its contents, she stood there feeling lost.
Hudson raised his head and arched his brows. “If that’s all, I’d like to get back to work. Or do you have anything else to say? If you require anything, all you have to do is tell the butler, and he will provide it.”
Holding back the tears that threatened to fall from her eyes, Tempest nodded her head curtly and practically ran out of the room. She hastened up the stairs and made it just in time to throw herself on the bed and weep as if her heart was breaking.
Why had she just rejected the man she loved for the empty life she had in London? Despite the fact that she knew it was for the best, it still hurt nevertheless. She had clearly hurt Hudson with her rejection, but his curt dismissal of her had also hurt her.
Wiping away her tears after lying spent on her bed weeping, she rang for her maid. Since there was nothing more for her to do in the manor, she would leave straight away.
“Quickly, Judith. I need you to put my belongings together and have Mr Bridges prepare the carriage for my trip to London.”
Tempest had to clap her hands for her maid to do her bidding as the young woman just stood there by the door with bemusement in her eyes.
Hours later, as the carriage swung away from the manor, Tempest turned back to look at it. It might be her imagination, but she thought she caught a glimpse of a shadow in one of the windows upstairs. Possibly it was Hudson watching her leave.
As the conveyance passed through the opened gates, Tempest began to have second thoughts.
Was she doing the right thing? If she was, why did she feel as if she was leaving something important behind; something like her heart?
Chapter 31
“Are you alright, my dear girl?” Aunt Beth asked her niece, who was staring into thin air. When the young woman still continued to stare at nothing in particular, Aunt Beth reached forward and shook her.
Tempest, whose mind had gone back to the manor in Strombridge and its owner, blushed a fiery red.
It was a week since she returned back to London and her establishment. A week of questioning her decisions because she kept thinking that she had made a mistake leaving Hudson, who she acknowledged might have made her happy.
“Are you alright, Tempest?” Aunt Beth queried softly with worry in her voice. “Ever since you returned from Strombridge, you haven’t been yourself.”
Willing her colour to return to normal, Tempest glanced around her office that used to give her so much pleasure but was now to her any other room elsewhere.
“I’m fine, Aunt Beth. I just have a lot on my mind,” she replied, hoping the woman would accept her answer and leave it at that.
But she should have known that Aunt Beth would press further. With amusement in her eyes, the old woman asked, “Does it by any chance have anything to do with a tall, handsome young man with dark brown hair and eyes the colour of the sky in spring?”
Tempest clicked her tongue. What could she say? Of course it was Hudson Danvers. Her supposed husband had tormented her thoughts and dreams ever since she left the manor.
The Irresistible Lady Behind the Mask: A Historical Regency Romance Book Page 27
