by J. L. Wilder
“Oh, come on,” Margaret wheedled. “This is the last chance I’ll have to style you for a party. In a few weeks, we’re going to go our separate ways forever.
Haley fell silent. That was true, and it was something she had been trying not to think about too hard. Her reluctance to graduate was about more than just not being mated yet. She was also going to have to say goodbye to the friends she had made at Omega U. It wasn’t a pack, exactly, but she was part of a group, and she’d never had that before.
“Okay,” she said to Margaret. “You can style me.”
“Perfect,” Margaret said happily, tossing the skirt to her.
“This is way too short,” Haley said. “This isn’t even my skirt; it’s yours.”
“Oh, just wear it,” Margaret said. “You can wear tights under it.”
Haley knew that was the best deal she was likely to get. She shed her jeans and began pulling on the skirt to check the fit. “When is this social, anyway?” she asked.
“Tonight.” Margaret moved from Haley’s closet to her own and began to shuffle through hangers.
“Tonight? We have class tomorrow,” Haley said.
“So?” Margaret asked.
“So, we shouldn’t be partying,” Haley said. “We’re in the middle of finals week. We need to stay focused on our work.”
“Oh, Haley,” Margaret said.
“What?”
“You told me yourself that the reason you work as hard as you do is because you want to look good to an alpha,” Margaret said. “Didn’t you say that?”
“Yeah,” Haley said.
“Well, how are you going to look good to an alpha if they never see you?”
“Margaret, they have seen me. They know who I am, for God’s sake.”
“I know, I know. You think any alpha who could possibly have developed an interest in you would have done it already.” Margaret tossed her a black tank top. “Put that on. I want to see it with the skirt.”
Haley obeyed. “I don’t know if I believe that,” she said. “But what if there’s an alpha out there who could have taken an interest in me if I’d had perfect grades but loses interest because I blew off preparing for finals to go to a party?”
Margaret laughed. “You have no idea what alphas want, do you?”
That one hurt. “I’ve spent four years studying what alphas want,” Haley said. “I’m at the top of our class.”
“Yeah,” Margaret said. “You could probably recite something out of the Alpha Appreciation textbook for me, I’ll bet.”
Haley felt herself blush. The truth was Margaret was right. She could have done that.
“That’s not what alphas want,” Margaret said. “They don’t want an omega who can quote the text. They want an omega who lives that way naturally.”
“Meaning what?”
Margaret shrugged, her face sympathetic. “It’s just that I can always see you trying,” she said. “I can always tell you’re thinking about how you should be around guys and then acting that way. It’s not natural. Alphas want omegas who are naturally submissive.”
It was a blow. Haley felt herself shiver as if a cold breeze had blown through the room. Suddenly, she wished she weren’t all tarted up in a short skirt and tank top.
“You don’t think I’m naturally submissive?” she asked.
Margaret looked up from the jewelry drawer she was ransacking and saw the look on Haley’s face.
“Oh, honey,” she said. She came over and sat down on the bed beside Haley. “It’s not that. Well, not exactly that.”
“What is it exactly?”
“I think you could be naturally submissive,” she said. “But doing that requires you to stop thinking so much. It means you have to follow your instincts instead of your brain. Look at me with Terrence. I’m not exactly a submissive person naturally, am I?”
“No,” Haley agreed, thinking of the way her friend had bossed her into the clothes she was wearing.
“No,” Margaret said. “But with Terrence, it’s different. I submit to him instinctively, without even trying. Because he’s imprinted on me, and because he’s my alpha.”
“So what are you saying I should do?” Haley asked. “You want me to try to meet alphas, to put myself out there, but then you also want me to...not try?”
“I’m just saying that at the end of the day, you can’t force it,” Margaret said. “You can’t do anything to make it happen. Either they’ll bond with you, or they won’t.”
“Then what’s all this for?” Haley asked, indicating her outfit.
“For fun,” Margaret said. “A way of taking your mind off things. And it’s also a way to make sure they look twice at you, which will at least improve your odds.”
Haley felt as if everything she knew had been turned upside down. “I’ve been at this school for four years,” she said. “I’ve been studying harder than I ever have in my life. I thought I’d have something to show for it. I thought all this hard work would get me somewhere.”
“It still might,” Margaret said. “The alphas can hardly ignore the top student of the year, right?”
“Do you really think they’ll look at me?” Haley asked. She could remember all too well the many, many socials she’d spent sitting alone on a log by the bonfire, hoping someone would come over and sit beside her. Hoping that someone would ask her to dance.
It had happened once or twice. But each time, when the music had stopped, the alpha’s gaze had wandered to someone else at the party, and he had moved off.
None of them ever stayed.
None of them ever chose her.
And tonight was the last chance she would ever have to get their attention. There would be no more socials. She was sure of that. There would be graduation, of course, and the graduation parties that went along with it, but the two schools would handle those events separately. And then everyone would scatter.
Haley would be on her own, without a pack, once again.
“They’ll look at you, all right,” Margaret said, pulling her makeup bag out of its drawer and dumping it out on her bed. “Come over here. I’m going to make you impossible to ignore.”
Haley frowned. “We’re not supposed to wear makeup,” she said. It wasn’t a rule at Omega U, but it was in the book of guidelines. Makeup was frowned upon, as was anything artificial. Omegas were expected to embrace their natural beauty.
That’s what alphas want. Or so they’ve always told us.
But Haley had spent four years embracing her natural beauty, eschewing anything false. She had never worn so much as lip gloss or fingernail polish. Margaret, meanwhile, who did give in to those human indulgences, had found her mate in the very first month.
Maybe Haley had been taking advice from the wrong people all this time.
It’s my last chance to make a connection. My last chance to get myself an alpha. I’ve got to change my approach if I want success.
“Get over here,” Margaret said again. “I promise I won’t make you look ridiculous or anything. I’m just going to highlight some of your best features. Has anyone ever told you that your eyes are amazing?”
“No.” Haley moved a little closer.
“Well, they are,” Margaret said. “And they’d be even more amazing with a little mascara to make your eyelashes more dynamic. I’m serious, Haley; this is going to change your whole look. The alphas are going to think they’re seeing a whole new girl.”
“Won’t they be disappointed the next time they see me without makeup?” She sat on the bed in spite of her reservations and allowed Margaret to begin working on her. “What if someone actually does imprint on me or something, and then I see him again, and I’m not all made up, and he doesn’t like what he sees?”
Margaret shook her head. “Trust me,” she said. “Once an imprint happens, it doesn’t matter what you look like. Terrence saw me after I got that bee sting on my lip and looked like I’d been on the losing end of a fight. Remember that? And he still tho
ught I was beautiful.”
“He really must love you,” Haley said.
“He really does,” Margaret said. “And we’re going to find you an alpha who loves you that same way.
Haley nodded, hoping her friend was right, and closed her eyes to allow the mascara to be applied.
Chapter Four
DEAN
“You’ve been somewhere else all night,” Laurel pouted, nudging Dean’s knee with her own. “What’s on your mind?”
Dean sipped his soda and wished it was a beer. “I told you already,” he said. “I’m just thinking about graduation.”
“I know you’re not thinking about classes,” Laurel said. “I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you think about classes.”
“Yeah,” Dean murmured.
Laurel leaned closer. “Do you want to blow this party off?” she asked. “We could go somewhere, just the two of us.”
Dean suppressed a sigh. Laurel’s thoughts couldn’t have been clearer if she had hired a plane and written them across the sky for him.
She wanted him.
Dean supposed he couldn’t be surprised by it. They’d had an on and off casual relationship since sophomore year. Neither of his brothers had liked it very much. Jasper had insisted that Dean should be holding out for an omega instead of wasting his time with betas, and Tom had said that he was playing Laurel.
But I wasn’t playing her. We both knew what this was.
At least, he was pretty sure they did.
They had never put a label on it—he had deliberately avoided doing that. She wasn’t his girlfriend. But there was the fact that they always danced together at the socials and snuck away afterward to get high. There was the fact that they’d been sleeping together, on occasion, for over two years now.
Was it possible that she was expecting something from him?
If she is, he thought resignedly, I’d better set her straight. He could see himself settling down, maybe, but not with Laurel. He just didn’t feel that strongly about her.
“I was actually thinking about what I’m going to do after graduation,” he said.
“Oh yeah?” Laurel asked. “What were you thinking about?”
“Going on the road, maybe,” Dean said. “Might be interesting to live wild for a while, like in that autobiography we read in Shifter Lifestyles last year.”
Laurel laughed. “I can’t believe you actually read that book,” she said. “You never do the reading.”
“I do it sometimes,” Dean said, irritated.
“You hate classwork.”
“No, I hate boring classwork. That book was good. You should have read it.”
She rolled her eyes. “All right, fine,” she said. “Wow me. Tell me all about it. What was so great about that guy’s life?”
“He didn’t rely on anyone,” Dean explained. “He was totally on his own for years. Personally, I could go for a little me time.”
She took the hint. He could see it register on her face. “You’re saying you would go without me.”
“I’m sure you have stuff you want to do after graduation,” Dean said. “Shouldn’t make a difference to you where I’m going, right?”
“Of course it makes a difference,” she protested. “Dean, you’re my—”
“I’m your what?” he interrupted roughly.
She looked down at her hands.
“You’re not my girlfriend, Laurel.”
“I know that,” she said quietly.
“Do you? Because you’re acting like you had some kind of expectation. Like we were going to stick together after graduation. And it’s never been like that between you and me. We never made plans for the future. I told you from the beginning that I didn’t want to be tied to this.”
“I guess I hoped you would change your mind,” she said. “What with this being the end of school and all. I thought you might be ready for something serious.”
“But you’re not something serious,” he said. “You’re the girl I skip classes with to drink during the week. You’re the girl who never does your homework.”
“You like that about me,” Laurel protested. “You always said you did. You said the other girls here were too serious for you and I was the only one who ever wanted to have any fun. Now you’re ending things with me because, what, I’m too much fun?”
“I’m not ending things with you,” he said. “There never were any things.”
“Oh my God. Whatever you want to call it, Dean, Jesus. You know what I mean.”
“It’s not because you were too much fun,” he said. “I really do like hanging out with you.”
“Then why?” she asked. “What is it?”
“You’re just...”
“I’m just what?”
“Not a part of the rest of my life,” he said. “I don’t know how else to explain it. When I picture myself in five years, I don’t see you there.”
“But I could be,” she protested.
Dean closed his eyes. “I don’t love you, Laurel,” he said. “I can’t force this to be something it’s not, and you wouldn’t want me to anyway.”
She stared into the fire for a long moment.
Then she threw a stick at the flames, got to her feet, and walked away.
TOM
Tom hadn’t wanted to come to the social at all. In general, he couldn’t see the point of attending things like this, because they weren’t meant for him.
These parties are for the alphas and the omegas. They just invite us so we won’t crash them.
He wasn’t just being maudlin or morose. It was an absolute fact. It was something all the betas had been told before their very first social freshman year. Don’t interfere with the alphas and the omegas. This is their only opportunity to get to know one another, to form mating bonds, before graduation.
Betas could go to the socials. They could sit by the fire; they could dance; they could enjoy the refreshments and spend time with friends. But there could be no interaction with the omegas from Omega University beyond polite greetings.
For a beta to mate with an omega...it was absolutely forbidden while enrolled at Shifter University. You could be kicked out of school for even thinking about it.
Not that it’s ever stopped Jasper from thinking about it. He’d been obsessed with the idea of scoring himself an omega since the day they’d set foot on campus. But then, Jasper didn’t really think of himself as a beta. He was convinced that he was an alpha and that Tom and Dean were just the inconveniences that stood in the way of his achieving his potential.
Hell, maybe it was the truth. It was pretty hard to explain why no alpha had emerged in their family, and by rights, it should have been Jasper. He was the oldest, even if only by a few minutes. He was the biggest, even if only by a few pounds. And he was definitely the most aggressive. By a mile.
He’d claim an omega if he could. Tom knew it.
When he was out of school, maybe he would. There would be no real consequences for it at that point. He would be shunned by shifter society, but maybe that wasn’t important to him. Maybe his idea of himself as an alpha was the only thing he cared about.
“Hey,” a voice said, and Tom looked up and saw Zach with his arm around a girl. “The guy from the library! Tough beta.”
“Tom,” Tom said.
“Right, Tom.” Zach pulled the girl closer to his side. “This is Clarisse.”
“Your girlfriend?”
“My omega. We’re mates.” He turned to Clarisse. “Babe, Tom is thinking about joining our pack as second.”
“Cool,” Clarisse said, not sparing a look for Tom. She stared up at Zach adoringly, as if she had never seen anything like him.
He chuckled. “Go get us some drinks, okay?”
Clarisse nodded and wandered off.
“What’s up with her?” Tom asked, watching her go. “Is she drunk?”
“Drunk on me,” Zach said. “Man you can’t imagine what it’s like when an omega falls for you. There
’s nothing in the world that compares to that power.”
“And you’re using it to make her get drinks?” Tom said.
Immediately, he could have bitten his tongue. Zach had reached out to him, was offering him a great place in his pack next year, and Tom was repaying him by being a smartass. Idiot.
Sure enough, Zach frowned. “It’s more complicated than that,” he said. “But I guess that’s how it looks to a beta boy. I wouldn’t expect you to understand.” He turned and walked off.
Great, Tom thought. Now he had lost his only standing offer of a pack to join. Zach wasn’t going to want him after that.
But I wouldn’t want to be in his pack anyway, he told himself. Whatever he says about it, he was using his power to send that girl on errands for him, and that’s a shitty way for an alpha to behave. Maybe I’m glad I’m not one if that’s what they’re like to their mates.
He sighed and got to his feet. There was no point in his being at this party. He didn’t know why he had bothered. He had known what tonight was about. He had known that there was never a reason for a beta to be here.
I let it get into my head, what he said to me in the library. The idea of being someone’s second.
He hated to admit it, but he knew that was exactly what the problem was. He had never felt powerful in that way before, never felt as if he held any specific role that could be of use to people. But if he were a second, it would mean that he mattered. It would mean that he could help a pack, that he could lead.
Do I want to lead?
He had never thought so.
But suddenly, the idea that it had been taken away from him was almost unbearable.
I do want to lead, he realized. I want to prove my strength every bit as much as Jasper’s always wanted to. He’s not the only one who was born for more than what he is.
But it would never happen.
Jasper was a beta, and Tom knew the truth—no matter what he might want out of life, no matter what he might wish for, he was a beta too. That was all he was ever going to be.
He turned and headed back toward the highway, back to Shifter University and the sanctuary of his dorm room.
