by Nicola Marsh
I don’t want to believe it. Trent is a pacifist and always has been. I can’t imagine him wanting to harm anyone or anything, let alone me. But I’d lied to him and we all have our tipping point. And he is a Parker after all.
Ashlin is the only other person I suspect would want to harm me considering how our last conversation went but she wasn’t at the launch. So who did it? The uncertainty is making me go a little crazy.
“Do you want to take the anti-nausea meds the doc prescribed?” He stands, ready to be of assistance, almost too eager. Trying to make amends for his guilt?
And so the whirlwind of thoughts and suspicion begins again, around and around, making me crave answers more than ever.
“No, I want to rest.” I close my eyes, clamping down on the urge to yell at him to leave me the hell alone, but I feel him watching me. It makes me uncomfortable when I usually love being the center of his world.
He touches my toes and I jump, my eyelids snapping open. “What?”
“I want you to know I’m okay with all that stuff you told me about your past.” He scrubs a hand over his face; it does little to erase the worry lines furrowing his brow. “I didn’t handle it very well and I’m sorry.”
He squeezes my foot and a small part of me melts. “When I saw you lying on the floor unconscious, it put things in perspective for me.” He comes closer and kneels near me, his solicitousness surprisingly soothing when a moment ago I wanted him out of my sight. “I love you and I’m sorry you had to go through such a tough time. I know how lucky I am, having a privileged upbringing, so I have no clue what I would’ve done in your situation. And ultimately you saved your mom, regardless for how long, and you should never regret that.” He brushes his knuckles along my cheek, tenderness in his eyes. “You’re everything to me and I don’t want to lose you, ever.”
A fine speech that should gladden my heart but all I can think is whether he’d feel the same way if he knew all of it?
I need to tell him.
About the baby.
About the abortion.
About why I did it.
But I can’t speak, the truth a constant barb lodged deep, threatening to eradicate my perfect life.
He leans over and slides his arms around me gently, like I’ll break. I swallow back tears because while my body is recovering I doubt my heart will ever be the same.
“I’m not going anywhere.” I snuggle into his chest, the wool fibers of his sweater tickling my nose.
I mean it, too. I will tell him when the time is right. Then I’ll fight for us.
But in the meantime I need to figure out who the hell tried to kill me.
32
May
I don’t take kindly to threats. Percy had been an expert, dishing them out willy-nilly in his quest to keep me under his thumb. I’d grown immune to them after a while, especially after I learned my husband was a spineless bully who liked to talk big but rarely followed through.
I have a feeling Ashlin is made of similar stock, all bluster with not much substance, but I can’t take a chance. The company is entering a precarious period and the last thing I need is a bitter, soon-to-be-ex-daughter-in-law wreaking havoc; especially if the rumors are true. I don’t like hearing that not only is my daughter-in-law having an affair, but the man she’s involved with happens to be Parker Partnership’s biggest rival.
I hadn’t liked Ashlin’s threat, that she knows too much about the Parkers and isn’t afraid to get down and dirty. I doubt Justin would discuss too much about the company’s day-to-day operations with his wife but Ashlin would’ve been privy to her husband’s phone, his computer, his paperwork at home…
Ashlin could definitely cause trouble for the company and our upcoming plans, which means I need to discover how much she knows from Justin.
With a brisk knock I enter Justin’s office. His PA nods, indicating I can go straight through. I don’t want to have this conversation, preferring to stay out of the machinations of my son’s divorce. But Ashlin is a scorned woman and her bitterness could spill over. I want to ensure Justin lets her know the importance of discretion at this crucial time. This divorce needs to be kept quiet until the company sale has gone through. It’s imperative.
I enter Justin’s office and find him staring at the million-dollar view of Chicago’s central business district sprawled fifty stories below. He works hard, rarely stops, so to find him looking aimlessly out the window speaks volumes.
“You’re distracted.” I approach his desk and take a seat opposite. “Want to talk about it?”
He swivels to face me, surprisingly relaxed for someone about to face a she-devil for court proceedings, before sitting behind his desk. “Not really.”
“Unfortunately, I think we have to.” I clasp my hands in my lap. I often do this when talking to my son so I won’t give in to the urge to grab him by the lapels and shake some sense into him. “I ran into Ashlin at the house earlier.”
His eyebrows rise. “She’s home?”
“Probably discharged herself from the hospital, I didn’t ask.” I’m many things, a hypocrite isn’t one of them. I don’t care why Ashlin’s home; I don’t want her interfering in company business. “She’s angry.”
He shrugs, infuriatingly calm. “I told her I was moving my stuff out while she was in hospital. I guess she saw I meant it when she got home.”
“So that was behind her spiteful outburst.”
He frowns and sits forward, the tension of discussing his wife visible in the sudden bunching of his shoulders. “What did she say?”
“Empty threats. At least, I hope so.” I search for the right words to probe him for information and finally decide there’s no easy way to say what has to be said. “I mentioned to you there’ve been rumors about her affairs.”
“I don’t give a f—”
“The rumors imply her latest has been with Aaron Grosber.”
Anger darkens my son’s eyes and his knuckles stand out where his hands inter-lace on his desk, and I wish I could make this all go away.
“She’s screwing around with our number one opposition?”
Fury laces his tone and I wonder what makes him madder, the fact his wife is sleeping around or the fact it’s with the company’s biggest rival.
“Apparently. So when I tried to calm her—” not necessarily true, but Justin doesn’t have to know how protective I am of my family and our business, “—she said she knows people and isn’t afraid to give them information, which implied she could hurt us in some way. Can she?”
Justin pales and slumps back in his chair, as tightness grips my chest. I’ve fought too long and too hard to protect the Parker fortune to let some vindictive woman get the better of me. “Tell me what she knows.”
“Not a lot, but I have offloaded after work occasionally.” He grimaces and scrubs a hand over his face. “I didn’t think she was listening half the time. Plus my den’s always open so if she really wanted to know what’s going on in the company, she could have found… well… anything.”
The tightness in my chest spreads and I hope I’m not having a heart attack. My doctor pronounced me exceedingly fit for sixty-four at my last check-up and I doubt having a birthday since would change that. But hearing the possible treachery my daughter-in-law can inflict on the family business certainly does.
“What do you want me to do?” Justin’s head falls forward and I hate seeing him so defeated.
He’s done nothing wrong. He’d married to solidify the Parkers, a union guaranteed to accentuate his power and standing in Chicago. He’d trusted his wife, invested time and effort into building a family with her. It wasn’t his fault Ashlin desecrated her vows and made a mockery of her marriage.
“Play nice. Don’t antagonize her. Make sure she knows how important it is to keep the divorce under wraps for now. And for goodness’ sake, make sure she can’t access anything regarding the company.” I sound snippy and try to soften my tone. “I know how you feel—”
>
“No, you don’t. You have no idea what this feels like!” He thumps the desk with his fist, sending documents scattering.
“Actually, I do.”
I never tarnished my husband’s reputation to our children. He died five years ago, not long after Grayson left, and I’d wanted to put the past behind me and move on. Part of my rationale for selling the company now is to shed the pall Percy cast over me, even in business. I’m ready to make changes, to show everybody I’m no longer a faux grieving widow but a woman in control.
But I know Justin. He’ll brood over his decision to end his marriage and will probably blame himself. I don’t want that. So I’ll tell him the truth about his father in the hope he’ll gain some clarity over his own situation.
He pins me with a curious gaze. “What do you mean?”
“Your father had numerous affairs. Too many to count. So I do know what you’re going through.”
As my son stares at me in shock, I glance down at my lap, surprised to see my hands clasped so tight the knuckles stand out. I force myself to relax. Getting wound up over Percival’s antics never serves me well.
“I tolerated him and pretended our marriage was okay for the sake of appearances. And because our significant finances merged when we married, divorcing would’ve been too difficult.” I raise my eyes to meet his. “I don’t know, maybe I wasn’t as brave as you, and divorce isn’t common in our social circle, but that doesn’t mean his infidelities didn’t matter.” I huff out a breath. “I was appalled by his indiscretions but I put up with him.”
“I don’t know what to say.” His gaze darts away, uncomfortable and floundering.
I take pity on him. “I’m only telling you so you don’t beat yourself up over ending your marriage. I had no choice. Your father and I both came from prestigious families and understood the need for discreetness in all aspects of our lives. We would never have brought disrepute on the family or the company so I turned a blind eye to your father’s infidelities. When he died, it was almost a relief. But you don’t have to do that. Once the company is sold you can do anything you want.”
His gaze flies back to mine and he eyeballs me with admiration. “You’re a strong woman, Mom.”
“I did what I had to do.” I shrug, like the years of heartache spent with a philandering tyrant meant little. “Which is what you need to do too. Proceed with caution and do whatever it takes to divest yourself of Ashlin without rancor.”
He nods, his brow furrowed in contemplation. “I’m taking care of it.”
“Good.” I stand, relieved Justin accepted my interference and will be on guard moving forward. “One last word of warning?”
He manages a wry smile. “You always get the last word in.”
I smile back, hoping he’ll heed my advice and not jeopardize everything we’ve worked so hard to achieve. “Be careful who you trust.”
Justin’s head tilts to one side as he studies me, but I’ve said all that needs to be said.
Divorcing a woman like Ashlin, he’ll soon discover what I mean.
33
Ria
That evening, I sit in front of my computer, knowing what I have to do but too scared to do it. It’s easy coming up with a plan. It’s the execution that’s a bitch.
Grayson hasn’t answered my email so now I have to dig deeper. I tell myself I’m doing good asking Lars to hack into America’s biggest database via the dark web in order to find Grayson, that I’m doing it to protect Shelley and the family. All very altruistic but how will I explain it to Lars?
There’s only so many times “I need this for an article I’m writing” will work. Besides, if Lars is caught, he won’t protect me and that could mean prosecution for me too. What would happen to Shelley? But it’s the thought of my daughter that’s propelling me to do this because I want to keep her safe from whoever is targeting our family.
I’m still not convinced. But I need this information desperately and as my fingers creep toward the keyboard to contact Lars, the doorbell rings. Annoyed by my immense relief, I pad to the door. I open it and shock renders me speechless.
“Long time no see.” Grayson, my long-lost ex-husband, offers me the bashful grin I used to love. “Can I come in?”
I want to slam the door in his face. I want to slug him. I want to pummel his chest with my fists for all the pain he caused when he vanished five years ago.
But I’d been about to let a trusted colleague commit a federal offence to locate him so I open the door, biting back my first response of “screw you”. He hurt me. Badly. I’d loved him unreservedly and he threw it back in my face the day he walked out of here without a backward glance. As for that photo… no, I can never forgive him for the secret life he hid from me and how it sickened me to see evidence of it.
I follow him into the lounge, hating that he remembers his way around and isn’t the least bit ashamed to show it. Worse, I find myself admiring him. He’s wearing low-slung denim frayed at the cuffs, a soft cotton T-shirt in the palest blue and sneakers. There’s a little extra grey in the soft brown curls skimming his collar and when he turns to face me again I note the fine lines around his eyes and between his brows.
His eyes are the same though, bright blue bordering on aquamarine. Parker eyes, though Justin’s are hazel, and I instantly feel disloyal making the comparison even though the man standing in front of me with practiced nonchalance abandoned me and doesn’t deserve my loyalty.
“Miss me?”
Damn, his lips quirk in the same laconic way they used to and I feel a lick of heat deep within. Not good.
“What are you doing here, Grayson?” Thankfully my voice doesn’t quiver, despite the confusion rioting through me.
“I came because you reached out to me.” Concern deepens his eyes to indigo. “Are you okay? Shelley?”
Like it’s the most natural thing in the world to ask after all this time. Idiot.
“We’re fine.” The urge to hit him again is strong but I curl my fingers into my palms to stifle it and tilt my head up to stare him down. “Shelley’s asleep and I’d like to keep it that way.”
The last thing I need is my daughter being bewildered by a father she can barely remember reappearing out of the blue for goodness knows how long before absconding again.
His expression softens, the flicker of affection in his eyes stabbing at my resolve to tell him to get out when I need him the most. “How is she?”
“Fine,” I snap, folding my arms in a purely defensive gesture that will do little if he actually comes within a foot of me.
Because for some unknown reason my body is reacting in a traitorous way, flooding with heat and tingling in places it shouldn’t, remembering exactly how good things had once been between us. Annoyingly, my cheeks are burning, a beacon to my irrational physical reaction to seeing him again.
“You look frazzled,” he says, his drawl making me bristle with indignation and intensifying the flush scorching my cheeks.
I muster my best disapproving frown. “That’s what happens when you show up on my doorstep after five years of no contact.”
He has the grace to look sheepish. “I have my reasons.”
Is he for real? I want to throttle him for breaking my heart and leaving me a single mom when Shelley needed him most. I see the way she idolizes Justin and Trent, desperate for a father figure when her own doesn’t care about her.
“Don’t I know it,” I mutter, turning away before I say something I’ll regret.
Then again, why do I care? I owe this man nothing. He ripped my heart out when he vanished. One minute we’d been happy, the next he’d gone, with no explanation.
Sure, he’d made no secret of his dissatisfaction within the company, but I’d never expected those feelings to coalesce into destruction. Then that photo of him in a compromising position had arrived and I assumed that was the real reason behind his vanishing act. It sickened me, to think I’d loved him, lived with him, married him, when I’d never re
ally known him at all.
After what I’d seen in that photo I should be glad he walked away from our marriage. But he’d shattered our family and I’ll never forgive him for it.
“You never would’ve reached out to me unless it’s urgent.” He’s snuck up behind me and places a hand on my shoulder. Ashamedly, I let it linger for a moment because his touch is so familiar and feels good, before shrugging it off and spinning around. “I’m worried about you.”
“Too little, too late.” I glare at him, wondering if he can feel the anger radiating off me, making me feel like I’m lit from within. “I have no idea what you’re really doing here when you could’ve answered me online.”
I see him hesitate, as if he’s contemplating telling me the truth, before he shakes his head. “It’s been five years since I left, Ria, and nothing. You could’ve found me any number of times but you chose not to. So the very fact you did now means something serious is going on and I want to know what.”
I should be relieved he’s here, that I can show him the evidence and tell him everything in person. But the longer he stares at me with those startling blue eyes filled with concern, the harder it is for me to remember to hate him for destroying us.
I huff out a breath. “I need your help.”
“I think I know why.”
My eyebrows shoot upward. “How do you know?”
“Because when you reached out I knew it had to be something big so I hacked into your computer,” he says, sounding more serious than I’ve ever heard, his admission rendering me speechless.
“You’re shocked.” He reaches out to touch my hand and I yank it away, finally getting my head and mouth to work in sync.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” My chest tightens with fury, indignation making me shake. “How dare you.”
Even though I’m desperate for his help, I feel violated. Having this man delve into my life without my permission feels dirty. My palm itches with the urge to slap him, when I’ve never slapped anyone in my entire life.
