by Faye Parker
I locked my door and made my way towards the town center. With my backstory memorized I was feeling more confident. I'd left Londonderry when I was 15, I now looked very different from the teenager I had been. The girl I had been was gone. Sure, someone might pick up on the surname, but that was unlikely… I had hoped. The CV I'd sent which got me this job didn't link me to Londonderry. I felt queasy thinking about the white lies I had told to get this chance. The many white lies I'd told.
I had the qualifications I said I had. Sawyer & Co didn’t even query why my certificates all said Kate Eleanor, thank god. I could explain away that Ellie was the shortened version of my middle name, Eleanor. I had the experience too, but I couldn’t let my past employers be references. It was too much of a risk as he could trace me. It turned out that renting two postal boxes for a few weeks and some creative computer work had paid off for me. I had taken a big risk in creating the references for this post and if I got found out then Sawyer & Co would sack me immediately. But putting that thought to the one side I walked along the riverside, exploring it with new eyes – Gran was right, it had changed so much over the last decade. Then again, so had I.
By the time I made it into my new office, I wasn’t sure I could be this Ellie woman I had created. I stood in the crisp white foyer for a moment, looking around and considering whether I could get enough money in some other way so I could keep myself going to be here for Ryan.
“Excuse me, can I help you? You seem lost?” The friendly voice came from beside me and I swung around in surprise.
“Sorry! I didn’t mean to make you jump.” The petite brunette came to about my shoulder. She wore a light grey trouser suit and held a pink travel mug. A messenger bag that looked crammed full of papers draped heavily over her shoulder. A phone rang from somewhere inside the bag.
“I… uh…” Was the clever response my head supplied.
“Are you the new administrator?” She said with new understanding.
“Yeah. I’m eh-Ellie.” I stammered.
I shouldn’t have come here, I can’t do this.
I should leave. Right now.
She offered her hand and shook mine firmly. “Well Ellie, you’re very welcome here. I’m Louise. I’m one of the junior accountants.”
She wasn’t much younger than me, but the bags around her eyes and the way she fiddled with the handle of her travel mug definitely told a story of someone under stress. At least that was what I saw.
I hoped that everyone was really busy. That meant that the job would be too. All I really wanted was to sink into my work and forget everything else. And if everyone else was too busy to pry me with small talk with me? So much the better.
“Ah, there you are!” I heard a man’s voice as his shoes squeaked over from me. I didn’t miss the flash of something across Louise’s face before she composed herself again.
“Hi Denver, I was just on my way up to get prepped for the morning meeting. This is Ellie, she’s the new administrator.”
Turning back Louise smiled, “If you go to the reception, they’ll point you in the right direction. I’ll see you around the office.” She left, with her messenger bag making her look clumsy as it flopped about every time she took a right step. Her phone rang again as she disappeared around a corner.
“So, you’re Mildred’s new start?” Denver spoke smoothly as he walked me to reception and in front of the visitor book. “I’m about to go up to her office anyway, if you sign in here, then I’ll show you where to go.” His smile seemed friendly, and as we made our way to the stairs I caught the scent of his cologne. Musky and rich.
I had no interest in guys right now, but his cologne was divine. Nothing wrong in enjoying a masculine scent. I inhaled again.
Get a grip, Kate! I scolded myself before feeling pleased that I’d scolded myself using my new name. Jesus, I was already going mad with these lies and I hadn’t even started my first day’s work.
We chatted briefly as we made our way to Mildred’s office. To my relief, my story held up and he didn’t out me as a fraud, which I felt was a good omen for the rest of my day.
Mildred was exactly as her picture from LinkedIn, and had stalked her a little on social media and having spoken with her exactly four times: in my interview; to be conditionally offered the post, and I had received a phone call to confirm my references and that she would be delighted if I could start as soon as possible; and the phone call she had made late last week to tell me to come to her office this morning.
“Ellie, it’s great to see you again.” She looked up from her computer and judging by the mound of paper already on her desk and the three stained and empty mugs in front of her, I decided that my new boss was someone who came into work early. And someone who may have had a caffeine addiction. “I’m so glad to see you. Let me get you settled in, and then I have a mountain of work for you! But first things first, have you had the tour yet?”
I expected to be answering phones and sending emails, but instead, I spent the first week working alongside Mildred collating files and putting together information for her. The learning curve was steep and I found the work quite intense to start with, but as I had nothing else to distract me, I enjoyed having something I could really get lost in. I arrived to work early and spent all my time with Mildred - apart from my lunch breaks, where I often met Louise in the office kitchen, I didn’t really speak to anyone else apart from Denver every now and then.
Mildred was in the small meeting room, on a conference call with a client when I was clearing up in Mildred’s office on Friday afternoon. Denver popped his head into the office, “Hey Ellie,” he said smoothly, his voice dripped like honey in my ears. “Have you any plans for your first Friday night after work?”
I didn’t and by the time I was leaving the office, I’d agreed to go with him to a local bar where we’d have dinner. Louise mentioned she worked with him but didn’t go any further than that. I got the impression she didn’t really like him but wasn’t about to say why.
He’d been nothing but polite to me, so I imagined that whatever their differences it was none of my business. After Louise and Mildred, he was the only other person in town that knew “Ellie” so it would be nice.
He was easy on the eyes, and whilst I certainly wasn’t after any sort of relationship, it was good for my bruised and battered ego to spend time with a cute guy.
He’d moved here only a few years ago, so in keeping with my story, I let him tell me a bit about Londonderry and show me some of the local sights; some tips he’d learned along the way. I let him take me to Flanagan’s where we ate, drank and chatted for a couple of hours. It was when he wanted to walk me home and I declined that things faltered a little.
“I’ve had a really great time, Denver and thank you for dinner – honestly, I wasn’t expecting you to buy mine!”
“Nonsense!” His hungry eyes roamed over me, “Ellie, you're a very beautiful woman – you should never have to pay for dinners and you should never be eating alone." He stopped walking, turning to look at me, giving me a smoldering look.
“I’m parked close by so I can drive us back to your place.” He moved closer to me, draping his jacket over my shoulders; his hands lingering over my shoulders just a little too long.
Immediately my stomach did a little flip-flop.
Too close! Too soon! Too much! Run!
I felt the panic rise in my tummy. “Ah, um, Denver, I really am exhausted. This first week has been very busy. Thanks for the offer but I’m really not far from here. I can walk it if I take the shortcut between Sackville Avenue and Abberfield.”
He raised his eyebrows suspiciously. There was an edge to his voice, “I see.” He started walking again, stopping after a couple of steps. The congenial expression had returned and he spoke in his usual, friendly tone.
“I just don’t like to think of you heading back to your apartment to spend the weekend alone. How about I take you sightseeing tomorrow – get the extended version, maybe a
little lunch?”
Feeling colder with his jacket around me than without it, I handed his it back to him. “Look, Denver, I’m sorry if you thought this was something more than what it is. I’m sure you’re a really great guy, but I’m not looking for anything right now… I hope you understand.”
He smiled lightly and draped the blazer over his shoulder, hooking it with his finger, “Hey, of course not. I am married, you know! God, I’m not trying to come on to you, just being friendly, Ellie.”
There was a professional tone in his voice now; I’d managed to hurt his ego.
Well, crap.
Why did men always think that we would fall at their feet just because they bought us food? Even if he was single which he wasn't. I was so not into being someone's mistress.
“It’s not like anything could happen anyway. I mean, with Mildred being on holiday soon, I’m going to be line managing you. It would be entirely inappropriate, Ellie.”
"Oh, I didn't realize…" Shit.
“I’m sure you didn’t. I’ll see you on Monday, Ellie, have a nice weekend.” With that, a black BMW in front of us beeped and he stepped in alone; leaving me standing on the street, dumbfounded. What just happened?
As much as I tried to avoid confrontation I knew, deep in my bones, that I’d have to say something. To Denver? Maybe if I explained to Mildred about the misunderstanding?
All I knew was that I needed this job. Had it just been me, I would have been tempted to disappear again but I needed this job for more than just me: Ryan was counting on me. And I wouldn’t be the next person to let him down. I’d done enough of that in the past.
By the time I had walked home I had decided that I would speak with Denver on Monday morning. having replayed the brief conversation through my head I decided I didn't like that he'd implied I didn't know he was going to be my manager for a while. In fact, I was furious about what was between the lines of what he said – did he think I was going to dinner with him because he'd be my manager? What exactly did he think I would do?
What the fuck had just happened?
Chapter Three
Ellie
It took until Saturday afternoon before I was actually able to relax for the weekend.
As it turned out, Denver was at a meeting across town on Monday morning so I couldn’t get to speak to him before work. The client and deadline that Mildred was working on last week had been met and from today she had me doing the more typical administration work that she needed. Before lunch, she asked me to gather some files from some other accountants and various offices within the building, and then put together a mountain of invoices that I was to leave into the post room. By the time I gathered about thirty of them, I took my first trip to the post room.
I had walked in and within two seconds, I realized I shouldn't have been there. Even the air felt wrong. Louise was in there with a guy. And he certainly didn't look like he worked in Sawyer's. Steel blue eyes met mine the instant I walked in, his gaze penetrating me and making me feel like I wanted to run out of the room, the building, and the entire city just to be sure. Louise immediately took two steps back from him, creating space between them where there hadn’t been before. There was such a stark contrast between her petite figure, standing in her crisp blouse and pencil skirt outfit to him: a muscle-clad mountain standing proudly in his tracksuit and trainers.
“Oh, uh, hi Ellie.” Louise stammered.
"Hey. I'm just leaving these invoices down to be posted out?" The urge I had to want to explain myself was crazy. Especially when it was crystal clear that it was they who definitely shouldn’t have been in here.
Pink rose on her cheeks. “Jason’s on his lunch break, I’m sure he’ll look after them when he gets back.” I knew she shouldn't have been here.
"I can take them for you. Here," she rushed over to me taking the big bundle out of my hands and placing them into the post-out-tray.
"They'll get stamped and posted from here." She gave a slight squeaky laugh.
His gaze slid over me the whole time, I knew: because not only did I feel it, but when I plucked the courage to peek at him again, his eyes were still on me and stayed there even when he was caught.
I felt the heat rise within me as his eyes continued their slow journey over my body. I felt naked in front of him. I hadn’t felt so exposed in my entire life, yet I was standing in a professional office, fully clothed.
“You must be new.” It wasn’t a question; it was a statement of fact. His voice commanded authority without booming. It was obvious when he spoke that he was used to everyone listening.
“Yes, that’s right. I’m Ellie. I’m the new administrator.” I said, as confidently as I could muster. I even did a little internal hi-five, proud of myself for keeping the eye contact going.
Ellie was confident… or at least I was trying to make her look it.
He slowly strode towards me, holding his hand out. Fuck, what was he going to do? I don't know why, but part of me was disappointed when I realized he was just going to shake my hand.
“Ellie.” It was the name I was getting used to everyone calling me, but the way he said it made me feel that he knew it wasn’t right. “Well Ellie, I’m Daniel.” Instinctively I offered my hand to shake. He took it into both of his making me feel like I was so tiny in comparison to him; enveloping mine and wrapping it in heat.
I guess Louise has a little secret of her own here. I mused.
This guy had just been caught in the post room with his girlfriend – who was keeping him firmly under wraps – yet I was the one who felt like I had done something wrong.
You have done something wrong! my inner critic reminded me.
“It’s been great to meet you. I hope they’re looking after you here.” As he released my hand, I felt like I was being released from a trance. I forced myself not to look at his pert ass in those tracksuit bottoms as he turned back to her. But who was I kidding, I looked and instantly chastised myself for ogling my only friend’s boyfriend.
“Louise? I’ll speak to you soon?”
“Um? Oh, yeah, yeah, sure. Speak soon, Daniel.”
Louise looked more flustered than I did. With that, he left by the exit door that led to the car park and not the one I had just come in from.
“Wow,” I said as the door shut behind him. “You’re a dark horse – sneaking your boyfriend in here!” I laughed, giddy that the tension had dissipated. “Thought you said you weren’t dating?” I teased.
“I’m not.” She said firmly, batting the notion away. “He’s just a client who doesn’t really do the whole office thing.”
“Oh yeah?” I didn’t buy that for a minute. “You two looked pretty guilty when I came in. Don’t worry, I won’t say to anyone, though.”
“Thanks. He doesn’t like the whole office thing.” Her shoulders relaxed a little. “But he really is a client – nothing else.”
"Alright then." I handed her the brown envelope she'd dropped with a cheesy smile. "I just I didn't realize guys built like brick outhouses needed accountancy services.”
“Of course!” she laughed like she finally understood something, “You wouldn’t have heard of the Armstrong family. They’re a pretty big deal around here. Daniel runs Armstrong’s Gym, he’s the owner.”
And with that, I knew it was only a matter of time before the truth would come out.
Chapter Four
Daniel
The drive from Sawyer & Co to Chester House took too long. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was missing something.
“Think, dammit!" I said aloud as I hit the steering wheel in frustration. I recognized that Ellie from somewhere, or did I? I didn't like when I felt like this. What I couldn't usually control, I beat the shit out of until I could control. Was there was something familiar about her… some resemblance… an echo of something I couldn't place or was I imaging it?
One thing I knew for certain was that we hadn’t fucked. I would have remembered those lips and I would
have definitely remembered that voice.
As I walked into dad’s office and smiled to myself. He was old-school. You could easily imagine his office as a bank manager’s office or something until you took a closer look. He had family pictures on the walls beside photos of meetings with other mafia bosses. The only thing missing was the little brass nameplate, Carrick Armstrong, Mafia Boss.
I sat down on one of the chesterfields, the leather squeaking beneath my tracksuit bottoms. “I handed the file to Louise today, she says the payments will be processed and into all the accounts in a couple of days.”
“Good son, never forget the families of those who have died for the Kindred Sons.” The same spiel every month.
"Yeah, I know. Blood and Loyalty." I said it internally even as he spoke.
Yadda yadda yadda.
As if I hadn’t been reared by our motto.
“Don’t take the piss, Daniel. I’m serious.” He peered up over his glasses, his accent thick with disdain. “I’m getting older and I want to know you can handle everything and be content you’re not going to fuck the whole thing up because you’re gonna forget about the people who split blood to put you here.”
"Ok, ok." I rolled my eyes as I stood up. "Just keeping you in the loop, Da." I felt his eyes piercing my back as I walked out the door. I fought back the urge to call him Carrick rather than recognize his place as my Da. Outside of what fatherliness he showed in front of the Kindred Sons, to say we had a relationship might have been an exaggeration.
Moments like this were when I caught a glimpse of the man who my father had been; the man who pulled the Kindred Sons together when the threat had been very real and very deadly. The man my father was when I was growing up – the man I rarely saw as a child because he was too busy protecting us.
