I look down at my pillowy white slippers—the comfy ones I wear when I’m feeling a little down. “Right…I should probably do that.”
25
I wake to the smell of coffee and the sounds of dishes moving and cabinet doors shutting. The kitchen sink turns on, and I blink several times, trying to clear my head. My alarm clock reads 6:05—less than a full three hours after I went to bed. My first thought is that Kaylee helped herself to the key again, but then I remember she’s probably mad at me. I doubt she came to make me breakfast.
When the groggy cloud of sleep clears, I know exactly who is banging around in my kitchen. I stare at the ceiling, trying to figure out a way to avoid the confrontation. I don’t want to talk to Ava. I don’t want to see Ava. Frankly, I don’t want anything to do with Ava.
But seeing as how she’s in my house, I don’t think I’m going to win this one.
It’s time to move that spare key.
I pull on yesterday’s jeans and a sweatshirt and head for the door, pausing to groan under my breath before I walk into the hall. I really don’t feel up to this right now.
Ava looks up when I step into the kitchen. She’s pulled her hair up into a ponytail. Her ivory blouse is wrinkled from sleep, and her slacks look out of place on a Saturday morning. She must have washed her face because the mascara trails are gone, and she’s not wearing any makeup.
I study her, wondering if I’ve ever seen her like this. I don’t think I have—I’m not sure anyone has. She’s never comfortable being anything less than perfect.
I lean a hip against the counter, waiting for her to explain herself. If she has something to say, she can go first.
But she doesn’t say anything. Her eyes flutter to the floor and then return to her task. She stirs zucchini and onion in a skillet and adds salt and pepper. The savory smell wafts to me, bringing back memories. It’s a familiar dish, one she often made when she’d come over on the weekends.
“There’s bacon in your fridge,” she finally says, staring at the vegetables as they sauté.
“I’m aware of that.”
She glances at me. “And there’s a candy bar in the door.”
“Did you break into my house to critique my food choices?”
Ignoring that, she cracks several eggs into the vegetables and then covers the skillet with a lid. “I just don’t remember you eating that kind of stuff. I had to run to the store just so I could make breakfast.”
I cross my arms. “What are you doing here, Ava?”
She continues to avoid my eyes as she pulls two plates from the cupboard. It’s almost disconcerting how well she knows her way around. To be honest, it’s hard to see her in here like this.
“I wanted to know how you were doing,” she says, “and you refused to call me back. I was worried.”
“You lost the right to worry about me the night you walked out the door with Chad.”
She whips around like I slapped her. She blinks, and her eyes shine with tears. “That’s not fair.”
“You’re right—it isn’t fair. Why didn’t you just break up with me, Ava? Why drag it on? I had no idea you weren’t happy.”
My chest tightens, and a familiar pain settles on my shoulders, weighing a ton.
“I’m sorry,” she murmurs, and I can tell from the way she’s avoiding me that she knows a weak apology isn’t enough.
She turns back to the skillet, lifts the lid, and checks the eggs. Satisfied, she dishes the vegetables onto two plates and makes her way to the table.
“Please,” she says quietly when she realizes I’m not going to sit. “Eat.”
Independent, confident Ava looks fragile. Her hand trembles as she sets a fork next to my plate.
“Fine.” I sit across from her. “But you have to tell me why you’re really here. You’ve known where that key was from the day I bought the place, and you never used it. Not once.”
“There are spiders under there,” she says.
Right after I moved in, Kaylee swore she found a black widow under the patio paver. Ava wouldn’t touch it after that. I never thought about it before, but now I wonder if Kaylee did it on purpose.
I almost ask Ava if she found a spider last night when she stole into my backyard—I almost tease her about it. But that was old Kyle—the Kyle who had a relationship with her.
This Kyle doesn’t care.
“I saw that napkin on your corkboard,” she says quietly, poking at her egg with her fork. It wasn’t exactly complimentary.”
I feel guilty for half a minute, and then I shake it off. “That’s what happens when you dabble in breaking and entering. You see things that aren’t meant for you.”
She looks up, meeting my eyes for more than a fleeting second. “What is it?”
None of your business, I think. That’s not what I say, however.
I look down at my breakfast and stab a piece of zucchini just to have something to focus on. “I took our breakup pretty hard. Kaylee tried to cheer me up by making a list of all the things I’m free to do now that you aren’t around.”
“Since when did you want a mountain bike?”
I shake my head, frustrated that she knows so little about me after all the time we were together. “It doesn’t matter.”
“It does matter, Kyle.” She sets her fork down and leans forward, her hands on the table. “You have a list of all the things you claim I wouldn’t let you do.”
I raise a brow. “You’re telling me you would have been okay with them? Fishing? Playing paintball? Staying in a yurt?”
She blanches and sits back in her seat. I know she wants to tell me those things are ridiculous, but for some reason, she’s holding her tongue. After a moment, she shrugs. “I don’t care. Do what you want.”
What is that supposed to mean? I am doing what I want.
“I’ll buy a bike, and we can go riding together. I’m sure it’s good cardio, and I’m getting tired of my routine at the gym anyway.”
I raise my brows. “You’ll what?”
She stares at me, looking oddly determined. “I’ll buy a bike. I’ll stay in a yurt. I’ll chop down a freaking tree if that’s what you need to be happy.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I left Chad.” Her voice breaks a little at the end, like she’s close to tears. “I miss you.”
“Ava…” I say with a sigh, starting to shake my head.
She presses her hands together and brings them to her chest, begging me to listen to her. “I made a mistake, Kyle. A horrible, horrible mistake.”
And just like that, the world I’ve been trying to rebuild since the day she walked out that door begins to fall apart.
“You can’t just come in here, uninvited, and say things like that.” I press my palms to my face, feeling like there’s a sudden lack of oxygen in the room.
My throat closes; my pulse begins to race. Maybe this is what a heart attack feels like.
“Kyle?” she says softly. “Please.”
I hold my hand up, cutting her off. I need her to stop talking. I need to think.
There’s no possible way we’re getting back together. I don’t want to be with her anymore, but this still feels like a knife jabbed in a freshly healed wound.
My doorbell rings, a welcome distraction.
Ava stands. “I’ll give you a minute and see who that is.”
I nod her along. And then I remember how early it is and realize it could only be one person—a person I desperately don’t want to see Ava. “Wait!”
But the damage is already done. I race into the living room and find Kaylee on the step, looking so shocked, Ava might as well have punched her.
26
I stare at Ava, trying to understand what’s going on here. But it doesn’t make sense. Her clothes are wrinkled, and she isn’t wearing any makeup. It’s almost as though she…no. No way.
Kyle hurries up behind her, and the moment our eyes meet, his face goes pale. I stare at him, brea
thing hard from the surprise, and my eyes drop to his bare feet.
“Kaylee,” Kyle breathes, shaking his head. “It’s not what it—”
“Looks like?” I laugh, but only so I won’t cry. “Well, that’s good because it looks like you had a sleepover with your ex-girlfriend right after you went on a double date with Daniel and those girls.”
“Date?” Ava says, sounding surprised and a little hurt—as if she has any right.
Who knows, though? I think bitterly. Maybe she does.
“Kaylee.” Kyle steps forward, imploring me with his eyes. “I—”
“You don’t have to explain.” I feel like I’m drowning. “It’s none of my business.”
“It is your business.”
Ava frowns. “I don’t understand what—”
“You need to leave, Ava,” he interrupts her, his tone stern but not necessarily unkind. “Right now.”
“But Kyle,” she says, aghast. “I—”
“Now.” He then turns to me. “And you need to come inside.”
What I need is a brain transplant. What is wrong with me? What kind of idiot woman would do anything he asks? One like me, apparently. Numbly, I pass Ava and head into the kitchen.
Ava argues with Kyle from the entry, but I try not to eavesdrop on their conversation. Instead, I focus on the two untouched plates on the table. It looks something like breakfast, but who eats a bowl of vegetables in the morning? Not right.
The door finally closes, and Kyle walks up behind me. As if he doesn’t know where to begin, he stays quiet. The silence is deafening.
“She wants to get back together,” he finally says.
“Shocking.”
It was bound to happen. I mean, let’s look at the situation logically. She chose a man who had no qualms about having an affair with a woman in a committed relationship. His moral compass isn’t exactly true. It was only a matter of time before he cheated on her or dumped her outright.
“She said she broke things off with Chad,” he continues. “She wants to try again.”
“Hmm,” I say, pretending I don’t care.
“I don’t want her back, Kaylee,” he says softly.
It’s easier with my back to him. “What do you want?”
“You.”
I whip around, startled—and a little angry. “Seriously?”
His eyes widen with surprise, and he shifts back.
“How could you tell me that now?” I demand, taking a threatening step forward. “A week ago, you said you weren’t ready to date again. Yesterday, you were out with some random woman. This morning, Ava opens your door, looking like she had a long, long night. Then you have the nerve to tell me that? What do you expect me to be? Lucky girl number three?”
“Kaylee, I—”
“You work fast, Kyle. Who knew?” I seethe, practically seeing red. “It’s rather impressive.”
I don’t care if I’m being unreasonable—not at all, not even a tiny bit. There’s something about seeing the man you love with another woman that makes you crazy—and two in less than twelve hours? That’s even worse.
“Really, Kaylee?” he says, his tone a little too reasonable for my current mood. “Are we going to go there?”
“What?” I demand.
He forces a smile. “Don’t act like I didn’t see you making out with that guy from last night. And yet here you are on my porch at the crack of dawn.”
“You what?” I ask, startled. It’s hard to see something that didn’t happen.
“I went by your house to talk—to apologize because I knew it hurt when you saw me with Hailey. I came to tell you that the only reason I agreed to go out with her was because the thought of waiting around at home, thinking about you out with that guy, was making me insane.”
“Nothing happened.” I brace my hand on the back of a chair because I’m feeling a little wobbly. “We almost kissed, but I couldn’t do it. And do you want to know why? Because I felt nothing. Because he isn’t you.”
We stare at each other. I’m still mad. Finding Ava here hurt more than words can express. It was so much worse than running into Kyle on his date last night.
“It doesn’t matter what I did or didn’t do last night anyway,” I eventually say on a sigh. “I’m not the one who said I wasn’t ready to move on. Thanks to Heath, you know where I stand, but I have no idea how you feel. Seeing you with two different women right after you rejected me—”
“It’s not like that,” Kyle growls, finally getting agitated himself. Good—let him. We both might as well be upset.
“Then what’s it like then?” I suddenly yell, my reaction startling us both. Hot, angry tears trail down my cheeks, but I don’t care.
“I don’t want to lose you!”
I blink at him and clench the chair harder.
“I don’t want this,” he goes on, shoving his hand through his hair. “I don’t want to fight with you. I don’t want to screw it all up. You’re everything to me—don’t you get that? Everything.”
“Screw it up?” I breathe. “What are you talking about?”
“Sally warned me that if you and I dated—”
“Stop.” I let out a frustrated laugh, one with absolutely no humor behind it. “Sally said you shouldn’t date me?”
He stares at me, waiting for me to get to my point.
“For a smart guy, you can be so stupid at times.” I shake my head and turn toward the door. “I’m leaving now because I have a very strong desire to punch you, and I’m pretty sure I’ll act on it if I stay.”
He gives me a tight nod. Then he looks away and moves his jaw to loosen it. “Kaylee, are we—”
“We’re fine,” I bite out.
I expect him to let me go. We’ve never gotten into it like this before, and we both need a day or two to lick our wounds. But no—he doesn’t even let me walk out the door. Instead, he grasps hold of my shoulder and tugs me back.
“Kyle,” I hiss, not ready to make up.
He gently pins my arms to my sides, probably so I won’t be tempted to hit him, and walks me backward, stopping only when my shoulder blades hit the wall. His arms rest on either side of my head, caging me in, and he stares at me with the strangest expression. It’s a smidgen irritated, a little dark even. Then his eyes drop to my lips.
My mouth goes dry, and I force myself to swallow. “What are you—”
I gasp when he kisses me. One moment, we’re staring at each other, engaged in a strange battle of wills. In the next, his lips are on mine, and I’m fighting for reason.
I probably shouldn’t kiss him right now, but oh my stars, Kyle isn’t messing around this time. Butterflies riot in my stomach, and the wall is the only thing keeping me from melting to the floor.
I free my hand and grasp a handful of his hair, jerking his head back. “Did you kiss Ava?”
“No,” Kyle says, looking repulsed enough I believe him.
“Did you kiss that girl you were out with last night?” I demand.
“Seriously?” he demands.
“Yes or no?”
His eyes bore into mine. “No.”
That’s all I need to know. I yank Kyle back, and his hands immediately move to either side of my waist. His palms are hot through the fabric of my shirt. This kiss is nothing like the first two we shared. It’s a question, a demand for an answer, on both our parts. I’m desperate to know if I actually mean something to him, and Kyle needs to know if I will eventually forgive him for whatever the heck it was he got himself into last night.
I lean into him; he leans into me.
His thumb plays with the hem of my shirt, sending lovely shivers down my spine. His other hand finds my neck, and he angles his head to the side, deepening the kiss.
It’s exquisite torture.
“Come with me to Flagstaff,” he breathes against my mouth, “when June closes the shop for her conference.”
“What?” I pull back to look at him, half delirious.
“I wa
nt to finish the list with you,” he says, his eyes searching mine. “Please, Kaylee.”
“You’ll have to book it,” I say, nudging him back. “It might be too late.”
“I already did.”
I stare at him and then narrow my eyes. “Who exactly were you originally planning to take?”
He lets out a frustrated laugh. “You. Your name is on the reservation if you don’t believe me.”
Crossing my arms, I chew on my bottom lip. After a long moment, I say, “Fine. Prove it.”
Shaking his head, he leaves me and walks into the extra bedroom he uses as an office. A few seconds later, he comes back with a printout.
Sure enough, my name is next to Kyle’s. Like we’re a couple—like we belong together. My chest warms, but my stomach tightens.
“What exactly were you thinking booking us a yurt together like that?”
“I was thinking there are two separate beds, and I will be a perfect gentleman.”
I point at him. “You better be.”
He smiles. “You’ll go?”
“Yeah.” I hand him back the paper, lightly smacking him across the chest with it. “But I’m still irritated with you, so I’m leaving now.”
Biting back a smile, he nods.
Before I step out the door, he tugs me back and kisses me again, his warm hand cupping the back of my neck. When he sets me free, I’m all disoriented.
“Why do you keep doing that?” I demand a little breathlessly.
He leans close, his pretty blue eyes locked on mine. “Don’t you remember? You told me I wasn’t supposed to ask permission. So this is me…not asking for permission.”
“It could have ended badly, you know.”
“It was worth the risk.” He opens the door for me. “Call when you’re ready to forgive me.”
27
Kaylee leaves me waiting for three days. I don’t think we’ve ever gone this long without talking, and by hour forty-eight, I get as twitchy as a recovering alcoholic. At two in the morning, I’m this close to driving to her house to make sure she’s still alive.
27 Ways to Mend His Broken Heart Page 13
