Cass looked up at me. “How was I supposed to do that? You left town without a word, and nobody knew where you went.”
“That’s not true. I sent an email to Trevor a month after I left.”
Cass stared at me, her eyes widening. “What?”
Oh, shit. Trevor must not have told her. “He never told you? I tried to get back into contact with him and apologize. I guess he didn’t want to hear it.”
Cass rubbed at her forehead and had another gulp of wine. “No, he didn’t tell me. If it was a month after you left, then it would’ve been… I don’t know if I’d even realized I was pregnant yet. He must’ve still been too angry at you and then afterwards…”
“You could’ve found me when you knew. I wasn’t exactly hard to find. I wasn’t in hiding.”
“Oh? You sure about that? That’s why you made sure to contact me instead of just Trevor so that you could apologize specifically to me about how you’d treated me, right? That’s why I also got an email, right? Oh, wait.” Cass’ eyes flashed. “I didn’t. I know you and Trevor were friends for a long time, but I deserved a personal apology too. I wasn’t in hiding either.
“You pretended like nothing had ever happened between us. Poorly, I might add. You were a horrible actor. I knew that you remembered. But you clearly didn’t want to remember. You didn’t want it to have happened. I got the fucking hint. And then only a few days later you leave town without a word to us. I had no idea you contacted Trevor, I thought you’d been radio silent for years. By the time I was giving birth, what was I supposed to do? I couldn’t rely on you. You hadn’t wanted to admit you’d slept with me, why would you want anything to do with our child?”
“But once I was your boss you should’ve told me.”
“That’s every reason not to tell you, you idiot!” Cass’ fire was back, burning in her eyes. She set down her wine glass and squared her shoulders. It felt like she was growing a foot in her rage. “You’re my new boss. You had abandoned me and denied our relationship and you’d hurt me and my brother, your best friend. I had no reason to expect any kind of loyalty from you.
“What if I’d told you about our child and you’d reacted poorly? I would’ve been out of a job, a job I traveled across the country for. A job where I’d been hired by a man who actually understood my limitations based on my single motherhood. A job that I needed for my career. I couldn’t risk you getting angry and firing me or Parker getting rid of me based on our personal past. It was too great a risk!”
“You thought I’d fire you!?” I couldn’t believe that she had such a low opinion of me.
“In fact, I’m wondering if you still might!” Cass shot back.
Our voices were starting to get louder. We had to be careful or we’d wake up Chelsea. “I’m disappointed, honestly. I can’t believe that you’d think that of me. Even after what I did.”
“Glad to know you have such a high opinion of yourself,” Cass snapped. “You treated me like shit, you treated my brother like shit, and I didn’t know you’d tried to apologize to him—still not an apology to me, by the way—so I had zero reason to trust you and I don’t now that you’re behaving like this. Maybe it would be best if you left.”
My temper was rising and I didn’t want to give into it. “Fine.”
I headed out the front door, not even drinking my glass of wine. It would just taste like sour grapes to me right now, reminding me of our amazing, romantic time together in Rome, a time that now seemed like all I would ever get with her.
I went home and stripped off my clothes as I headed for the bedroom, then literally fell down onto the bed, face-first. I wanted to just scream with frustration and then sleep and forget everything if only for a few hours.
But sleep didn’t come.
I was a father. I was a father. This whole time and I’d had no idea. I had a little girl who was adorable and sweet and smart, and her mother didn’t want anything to do with me. Cass didn’t trust me. She was still furious with me.
Everything was going to change, but I didn’t know how. And I didn’t know what to do to fix the mistakes between us.
20
Cass
I had no idea what to expect when I returned to the office on Monday.
On Sunday, Dawn accompanied me to the park so that we could talk about my situation while Chelsea could play and be distracted.
“I think this will end up being a good thing,” Dawn said as we took a break and sat on the bench.
Chelsea ran around the playground, not at all tired even after being pushed on the swing, playing hide and seek, and then playing tag. Ah, to have the energy of a three-year-old again.
“You’re optimistic,” I replied.
“Well, you don’t like keeping secrets,” Dawn pointed out. “And you were unsure about what to do with the whole situation. Now it’s been settled for you. He knows.”
“But how is that supposed to be a good thing? Either he decides that he doesn’t want to have anything to do with Chelsea and I have to try and work with a man that I know doesn’t want his own child, or he decides that he does want to be in Chelsea’s life and I just have to wait for the other shoe to drop.”
“But what if the other shoe never drops?”
“He just left me before, and then Trevor too. I was a one-night stand and yeah, he treated me horribly but Trevor was his best friend. They were about to be business partners. If he could walk away from all of that, who’s to say that he can’t walk away from his own daughter at the drop of a hat?”
“I think you might want to consider giving Raff the benefit of the doubt. He’s made some mistakes, but he was a good man before those mistakes, and it sounds like he’s been a good man since then. And come on, Cass, I know you.” Dawn shifted in her seat to look at me directly. “You wouldn’t have slept with the man if you didn’t have feelings for him. Your boss? And your baby daddy? And the former fling who broke your heart? That’s three extremely good reasons not to sleep with him. I know you wouldn’t have done it if your heart wasn’t involved somehow. Why not give him a chance?”
I took a deep breath. “Part of me wants to give him that chance, but…”
“I get it. But you have feelings for him. I think it’s time you admitted that. Why not give him a chance? Maybe you’ll end up a family. And you’ll get an answer instead of wondering the rest of your life about what might have been.”
“That’s true but the situation is so complex, with him as my boss, and the fact that he practically lives at his job—what if he can’t take time to be a father? What if he doesn’t want to? I just… I don’t hold out hope for things going well.”
Dawn put her hand on my arm. “I understand your fear. But I have faith.”
I was glad that someone did.
On Monday I returned, and I could immediately feel the tension.
Raff seemed torn between strangling me and fucking me. Personally, I wouldn’t be opposed to getting the chance to yell at him some more. How dare he be angry? He’d given me no reason to trust him and he’d been in a position to fire me if he didn’t like my information, what was I supposed to do?
Although, the idea of getting to fuck all of the tension out was definitely appealing as well.
I avoided him as best I could, and I was pretty sure Raff was trying to do the same. But then in the afternoon, after lunch, we had to discuss Furio’s expansion plans.
We were at a bit of a disagreement.
Raff believed that Furio should be letting go of some of his staff in his central office and hiring new staff in the cities where he was expanding, rather than paying for those staff to move out to those new cities and oversee things. And he should be able to pay lower salaries to new staff as well.
I thought that was ridiculous. He’d be losing experienced people and would waste precious time training new people when the others would be able to hit the ground running.
“Seriously, this is ridiculous! A business isn’t just about saving
money initially, it’s about seeing the big picture and being successful over time!” I snapped. I was grateful the door to Raff’s office was closed. That way at least our voices were somewhat muffled.
“And who says that it won’t be? Those new employees will be caught up to speed and trained.”
“And while they’re being trained and are still new they won’t be able to maintain the quality that Furio’s company is promising! You’ll lose out on that first, crucial rush of customers because they won’t be satisfied. If a company starts out with bad reviews very few people care about going back when the company promises they’re better now, no really, we swear.”
Raff glared at me. “Don’t use that mocking tone with me.”
“I wouldn’t have to if you weren’t being so damn stupid, you’re better than this! Did you leave your brain at home today? Or can you really not see anyone’s opinion other than your own?”
Yeah. One could say that it was getting a little heated.
Just a little.
21
Raff
Okay, so I was getting pissed, and I could be honest with myself and admit that it actually had very little to do with Furio’s company.
It was also pretty obvious that Cass’ anger had very little to do with Furio’s company as well. Her comments were getting more cutting and personal and I could admit that mine were as well. This wasn’t really about our business issue, it was about the two of us.
All hope of the weekend settling me down had vanished when I’d come in this morning and thought about seeing her. By the time Cass had actually walked in, I wanted to grab her and kiss her. And I also wanted to plead with her to let me have a relationship with Chelsea. And also yell at her some more, because I was still angry.
Yeah, it was a fucking mess in my head. I hadn’t felt like this since the day I’d left, when I’d had to abandon everyone I cared about and do the right thing. Or what I’d thought was the right thing at the time.
I just couldn’t get over my sadness and frustration over missing the first three years of my daughter’s life. I hadn’t been there for her birth, her first word, learning to walk, any of it. I didn’t really know her, but I still loved her and I wanted to get the chance to know her. I wanted the chance to love her even more, not just loving her as an abstract concept as ‘my daughter’ but as a real whole individual, a living breathing person with a personality.
And I hadn’t even been given the chance.
“You’re being unreasonable!” Cass snapped, keeping me in the present moment. “You won’t even consider that you’re wrong! You’re just all about the bottom line, just like every other businessman! You don’t really care about the quality of the product!”
“I’m the unreasonable one!?” I shot back. “You’re the one refusing to budge an inch on anything ever. I have to make the effort, I have to make amends and reach out, but God forbid you do it.”
My words were very clearly not about the situation at hand, and I quickly added on, “And I’m the one here with experience in this situation. I know about business and I’ve been in this far longer than you have. You’re the one who’s being unreasonable and frankly you’re stepping out of your bounds as my assistant.”
“I don’t need years of experience to know that you’re making a mistake!” Cass snapped in return.
We were in each other’s faces, only inches away from each other. I had no idea how we’d gotten so close. It just kept fucking happening, like we were magnets. I didn’t plan it and couldn’t stop it, I just ended up in her orbit, pulled to her, every damn time.
“Oh, you get to decide I’m making a mistake? That I don’t know what I want?” I demanded.
This wasn’t about Furio anymore. Not really. Sure, we were disagreeing about that, but it wouldn’t normally reduce us to yelling. This was really about us and about our issues. I knew what I wanted, and I wasn’t going to run away again or lie to her or change my mind. I no longer owed my parents anything.
Like a rubber band stretched too far, the tension snapped, and I grabbed Cass, kissing her.
Cass went stiff against me in surprise for a second, but then kissed me back ferociously, furiously, like she was still arguing with me only through her kisses instead of with her words.
I sure as hell didn’t mind. I was done talking anyway. I wanted to get her to understand that I would be good for her, that I wanted her and that I would do whatever it took to prove it to her if she just gave me a fucking chance instead of running away and shutting me out every time—
Yeah, I was at my breaking point, and so, it seemed, was Cass.
I yanked at her clothes, continuing to kiss her fiercely. Fuck, I wanted her naked, I wanted her around me, against me, I wanted my mouth all over her again. I wanted to see if the hickeys I had left on her thighs from last time were still there, stark against her skin, standing out. I wanted to darken them again, or make new ones, if the marks were entirely gone.
But we weren’t in a hotel room now, we were in my office, and I wasn’t in the mood to try and figure out all the zippers and buttons for her outfit. Cass was wearing a cute green skirt and a pale green blouse on top, and she looked gorgeous in it, like she was doing a bit of a vintage throwback, but I didn’t care about that right now. I was just glad that she was wearing a skirt so that I could fuck her easily.
“I should take you over my desk,” I growled right into her mouth. “Spank you, teach you a lesson.”
“Oh?” Cass shot back, yanking at my jacket until she was able to get it off and throw it aside. “You’ll teach me a lesson, huh? How about I teach you one, you stubborn asshat.”
Yeah, we weren’t holding back.
I kissed her again, and again, and again, until I was sure that I was bruising both of our lips. Cass moaned into it, still tearing at my clothes like she wanted to literally rip them off me, even though it didn’t really do much. I wrapped an arm around her waist and started to lead her around towards my desk. I had no idea what I was going to do when I got there. Would I really bend her over the desk or my knee and spank her?
Mmm, tempting. But I couldn’t deny that she was right, I was being just as bad as she was. We were equally snappy here. She was snarling into my mouth, but I was snarling into hers, the same way.
Cass got even more impatient, grabbing my cock through my pants and rubbing it mercilessly. Fuck, that made me so goddamn hard. Her hand was perfect, squeezing the base of my cock and teasing at the head of it through the fabric. It was all I could do not to just rut against it and come like a teenager. Goddammit. She did this to me every time, drove me harder and crazier than anyone else ever had or ever would.
I blindly reached behind me, grabbing my desk chair and dragging it over so that I could sit in it as Cass undid my pants, shoving them out of the way. I spun her around so that her back was to my chest, then spread her legs and shoved her down onto my lap.
This meant we couldn’t really kiss anymore, which was unfortunate, but fuck, it did mean that I could get my fingers inside of her. I shoved her panties to the side, not even bothering to get them off properly, and rubbed at her clit mercilessly. Cass groaned, grinding her ass back against my cock where it now jutted against her skin.
Fuck. The temptation to just slide my cock between her ass cheeks and get off that way was immense, but I knew it wouldn’t be satisfying enough. We were both ratcheted up so high in tension that only a proper fuck would take care of this.
Cass writhed as I continued to rub my thumb against her clit, over and over, unrelenting. I wanted to give her an orgasm, a quick and dirty little one, just to take the edge off and drive her that much crazier. I felt like I was going insane with desire for her, and that the longer I tried to sustain myself with just fucking her instead of having her properly, the crazier I got.
Cass moaned, her head falling back onto my shoulder, as she came messily all over my hand. I fucking loved it. The feel and smell of her as she orgasmed was intoxicating
.
I didn’t waste a second, plunging two of my fingers into her. Cass squealed, grabbing onto me. “Raff, Raff, Raff,” she chanted.
I bit down on her neck, sucking, not caring if I left a bruise that everyone could see. She could just cover it up with some damn makeup. I was completely out of my mind, unable to think straight.
Cass squirmed and fucked herself down onto my fingers. “More,” she begged me. “God, yes, please, more!”
Who was I to deny her? I was going to get my cock into her sweet, dripping pussy, and I wanted her nice and ready for me when I did. I curled my fingers inside of her, pumping them hard, fast, in a way that I wouldn’t have dared when we’d first had sex. But now I knew her body better, knew Cass better, and I was confident as I scissored her open.
Cass’s cries and pleas definitely helped spur me on. She was like a wildcat, scratching at me. It was getting to the point where I was worried about her volume control.
I wrapped my free hand around her mouth, muffling her noises. Fuck, I loved how noisy she was, how unashamed she was about showing off her pleasure, but right now wasn’t the time.
Cass didn’t seem to mind, continuing to thrust down onto my fingers. Normally I would’ve added a third just to be on the safe side, but fuck it. I wanted to give a little stretch for her, I wanted to keep it rough.
I pulled my fingers out and then lifted Cass up by the hips. Cass spread her legs, and cried out against my hand as I lowered her down onto my cock in one long, smooth motion.
Fuck, yes. She felt so fucking good. She always felt good. Fuck. I was going to fuck her into oblivion, I was going to blow both of our minds. I wanted the both of us to be too exhausted to argue anymore, I wanted her to be so sure that only I could give her pleasure that she wouldn’t even think about running away from me again.
I wanted to be in her life, I wanted to be in Chelsea’s life, and fuck, the fact that she still refused to trust me or give me a chance infuriated me, even as I remained deeply in love with her.
Dating My Brother's Best Friend Page 13
