by J. H. Croix
“If you want.”
Ah, hell. Something was up. When I opened the door, she was sitting cross-legged on her bed. Her elbows were resting on her knees, and she was staring down at the bedspread. Her cheeks were pink, and her eyes were puffy.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” I crossed over quickly, sliding my hips on the bed.
She lifted her eyes to mine and knuckled at a tear that fell off her eyelashes. “Mom called.”
I didn’t swear, but I had to grit my teeth. I asked, “Oh?” Sometimes I thought I should get extra credit from the universe for my noncommittal replies to anything related to my daughter’s mom.
My daughter’s eyes looked just like they did every time her mom let her down—sad and tired and brave, all at once. “Remember how she said she was going to come visit soon?”
I nodded slowly. “Yeah.”
Allie sniffled. “Well, she’s not. She has a new boyfriend and a new job.”
“I’m sorry, hon. I know you really wanted her to visit.” Those were words I’d said more than I’d ever wanted. Fuck this bullshit.
Allie sniffled again, swiping her hands over her cheeks and smearing her tears. I shifted closer, sliding my arm around her shoulders.
“It’ll be okay,” I said, my words feeling utterly inadequate. I’d gotten used to feeling inadequate when it came to parenting. That was the thing no one warned you about—constantly stumbling as you tried to get it right. Just when you thought you’d nailed something, your kid was another year older, and you had to figure out an entirely new obstacle course.
“I know.” Her voice was muffled as she tucked her head against my shoulder. “I’m never going to have a mom to do my nails with, am I?”
“I don’t know, hon. I can’t make any promises on your mother’s behalf.” I’d said something to that effect hundreds of times.
“Can we have spaghetti for dinner?”
“You know it.” That was one of the few things I could cook well.
“I’ll help,” Allie said, lifting her head and smiling a little.
My heart ached at seeing her puffy eyes. I couldn’t help but smile back, though, because my daughter was spunky and resilient. These moments of upset about her mother usually passed quickly. When she climbed off her bed, I followed. She walked with me into the kitchen and began chattering about school as we pulled out the ingredients together.
Chapter Eight
Graham
“Please,” Allie said, the pleading look in her eyes not doing me any favors.
It was on the tip of my tongue to say no, but my daughter didn’t give up easily. Before I could even reply, she pressed, “Maddie said I could. I just want to do something.” She threw her hands up. “And she has a dog. You said he was really friendly too.”
I silently swore. I had, in fact, told Allie Madison’s dog, Wilbur, was friendly. He was. He was a happy smile incarnated in canine form.
“Fine. You can go. I need you to check with her before you startle her by showing up unannounced.”
That earned me a hard eye roll. Allie slipped her phone out of her pocket, promptly pulling up a number and sending a text. “Can you give me her number? I’d like to have it in my phone if you’re going over.”
Okay, that was a completely reasonable request. But it was also a convenient excuse to get Madison’s number.
My daughter’s eyes swung up to mine. “She didn’t give me permission to give you her number,” she offered pointedly.
I gave her a skeptical look. “Allie, you’re my daughter and you’re going over to someone’s home. It’s a standard expectation that I have the phone number. I’m not really worried about what Madison might think about that.”
“Why do you call her Madison?” Allie asked when she handed me her phone.
I pulled up her contacts and texted Madison’s number to myself. “That’s how she originally introduced herself to me. I know she told you that some people call her Maddie, but until she tells me otherwise, I’ll keep calling her Madison.”
Allie blinked at me. “I’m sad Harold died, but I’m excited to have a new neighbor. He wasn’t here that much anyway. Maybe she can paint nails with me.”
I didn’t completely get it, but Allie really wanted someone to paint her nails with her. I’d offered, but she didn’t take me up on it except for once. She had already snatched her phone back from me and was skipping down the hallway, sliding on her socks halfway down to stop precisely in front of her door. She’d perfected that distance years ago. She wasn’t looking my way, so she missed my reflexive scowl.
I wished I was surprised her mother had canceled another visit with her, but it was expected. I was more surprised when her mother stuck to a plan.
Talk about listening to the wrong head back when I was a senior in high school. Allie’s mom was the homecoming queen, and all I’d wanted was her. I was no asshole, but my hormones led the way. It was hard to fathom a more abrupt reality check than Allie’s mom getting pregnant the last month of our senior year. To this day, I still didn’t know the whole truth. I’d honestly wondered for years if she’d thought having a baby was a quick shortcut to tying me down.
But then, she’d skipped town. Babies were a lot of work. I’d lived that truth deeply. After Allie’s first month in the world, I’d handled raising Allie with a lot of help from my parents. Thank God for them.
I’d worked at the grocery store job that I’d started in high school. I’d volunteered for the fire department on the side in high school, and that got me into training. I’d been on the town firefighter crew for years here. I hadn’t had the time to do the training to become a hotshot firefighter until I got Allie to the other side of elementary school. She was now in her freshman year of high school, and I still didn’t know how I felt about that.
She’d always loved sports. Every fall, she ran cross-country. In the winter, she played basketball, and then come spring, she played softball. It was busy. I was grateful because she didn’t mind my new schedule not hewing so closely to her school schedule. My parents helped out when I was out in the backcountry fighting fires.
I had misgivings about Allie getting close to Madison, but then, I knew it would be weird if I tried to prevent it. Willow Brook was a small town, and Allie was accustomed to being friendly with the neighbors. So was I. We counted on each other. If I singled Madison out as someone she couldn’t be friendly with, well, that would make her more curious than I cared to contemplate.
I couldn’t exactly say to my daughter that I was hesitant because I wanted Madison for all the wrong reasons. Our kiss was tattooed into every cell of my body. The memory of the feel and scent of Madison conjured fiery jolts throughout my body.
“She said yes!” Allie called a minute later as she came skipping out of her room. “I’ll go over after school.”
“Okay. Sounds like a plan. You can call if you need anything when you’re there.”
“I’ll text you, Dad,” she said, her tone exasperated. She frequently reminded me of how slow I was on the uptake when it came to technology. She was not a fan of phone calls.
I was relieved she was in a cheerful mood. Last night had been tough after her mom called. She’d stopped crying, and we’d enjoyed dinner, but she’d been melancholy, and I knew it. She hated when her mom canceled, but sadly, she was accustomed to it. She was as realistic as one could be about one of their parents being mostly absent in her life. I knew it hurt, and I hated that my little girl had to carry that ache in her heart.
Not much later, I dropped her off at school and headed in to work. Willow Brook Fire & Rescue was in the midst of an addition. When I showed up, the sound of hammers pounding and some kind of pneumatic-powered tool filled the parking lot. I looked over to see Amelia Masters, Cade’s wife, with a hammer in hand and a tool belt around her hips as she put some framing in place. It said something about what a good business Amelia and Lucy ran when there hadn’t even been a rumbling about the town hiring them to do the add
ition for the station. With Cade being a superintendent here, his father the police chief, and Lucy’s husband another hotshot firefighter, it was easy for people to complain about nepotism, but there hadn’t been a peep.
I snorted to myself as I crossed the parking lot and glanced up to see Lucy working, her long blond ponytail blowing in a gust of wind. One of these days when I managed to save up a little extra money, I intended to hire them to do an addition on my house. Allie and I could use the extra space, and I might not mind a garage. It was sacrosanct to complain about the snow in Alaska. But it wasn’t great in the long dark winters to wake up and shovel it off my truck. I also wanted to plan for when Allie started pestering me to drive.
I called over. “Hey, Amelia! Hey, Lucy!”
They waved back and carried on working. As soon as I stepped into the back hallway at the fire station, I encountered Levi with two cups of coffee in hand. He stopped at the door when I held it open. “Thanks, man.”
“They’re not gonna stop work to take a coffee break,” I teased, glancing over my shoulder. I was proved right when Levi called Lucy’s name, and she replied, “I’m busy.”
I chuckled, and Levi rolled his eyes. “Here, you have one then.”
He handed me a cup and followed me down the hallway. “What’s on the radar for today?” I asked.
“You’ve got a couple of interviews lined up. Want me to stick around?”
“Sounds good to me. I hate hiring people unless I know them,” I answered.
I’d been stoked to get the position as superintendent for the new crew, but it meant some work as far as hiring. Fortunately for me, there were a few local applicants, all people I knew. The rest were coming from outside the area. Hotshot firefighting was a coveted job for people who enjoyed the work, but it wasn’t for the faint of heart. Firefighting was hard all on its own. Throw in flying out to the wilderness and dropping into fires from above with heavy equipment on your back, and it was next level. It was critical to have a well-trained and trusted crew. Everyone needed to be able to handle pressure, deal with the isolation, and not play games. The last thing any hotshot crew needed was tension amongst the crew. They ended up being like family.
“I’ll take all the help I can get,” I added. “I think I have five interviews lined up today.”
“Rex said he’s been sitting in on the ones you’ve done so far.”
“He has. You know him; he likes to know who’s coming into the station.”
We stopped by the office space I shared with Cade, Beck, and Ward. Levi followed me into the office and plunked down in a chair at a round table in the corner.
“You think they’re gonna have all that framing done before the snow flies?” I asked as I sat down across from him.
Levi nodded. “Oh, yeah. My girl runs a fast business with Amelia,” he said as if I had somehow been questioning that.
I rolled my eyes as I dropped my backpack on the floor and took a seat across from him. “I know that, but it’s just the two of them. Do they ever hire on extras?”
Levi ran a hand through his dark blond hair and shook his head. “They’ve tried a few times, but Lucy tells me they work well together and they’d rather do less work and do it the way they want. Most people who do construction are men, and they don’t love having two women as their bosses.”
I chuckled and took a swallow from the coffee. “Damn, that’s good. This isn’t from the office here.”
“I picked up one of the coffee boxes at Firehouse from Janet. I’d tell you to get some more, but I’m guessing it’s already gone.”
“Course it’s gone. I feel lucky Lucy told you she was busy,” I teased.
Levi gave me a lopsided grin. At that moment, Rex poked his head around the door, asking, “You guys ready?”
I waved him into the room. “Come on in.” Spinning in my chair, I snagged the laptop on the desk and opened it, tapping the screen to life. “Our first interview is scheduled in ten minutes.”
Rex came in, taking a seat at an angle from Levi. He held up his coffee cup. “I got some of that coffee. Who brought that over?”
I thumbed toward Levi, and Rex dipped his chin in acknowledgment. “Good move. It always makes for a more cheerful morning when we have good coffee.”
“I didn’t have time to stop there either. Allie was a little late getting ready for school, so we were cutting it close.”
“She’s growing up fast,” Rex commented with a shake of his head.
“Don’t I know it?” I replied with a sigh before taking a bracing swallow of the rich coffee.
“Life happens fast. I’ve already got a grandkid, and I can’t believe that sometimes.”
“Isn’t Ella expecting?” Levi asked, referring to Rex’s daughter.
“She is.” Rex’s eyes crinkled at the corners with his wide smile.
“How far along is she?” I asked because I hadn’t caught up on this bit of news yet.
“Four months,” Rex said.
“You ready for two grandkids?”
He nodded firmly. “It goes by in a blink. Sometimes, I miss when Georgia and I had young ones around the house. Being a grandparent is better than being a parent, though.”
I placed my hand on my chest over my heart. “Man, don’t start with that. I’m not even ready for Allie to have a boyfriend. I’m kind of hoping maybe she’ll want to become a nun.”
Levi burst out laughing just as Russell peered into the office, his brows hitching up as he looked around the table. “You still need me?” he asked.
“Of course, you’re on the crew. I need your opinion. Is Beck still coming?” I glanced at Levi.
“I don’t know. Let me ask Maisie.” He leaned toward the desk and tapped the intercom button on the phone. “Hey, Maisie, where’s Beck?”
“He’s late getting in. He stopped to help fix Carrie Dodge’s mailbox. Someone hit it with a car last night,” she explained.
“Well, damn, that’s not cool. Glad Beck is fixing it,” I replied, along with the other sympathetic murmurs around the table.
“Hey, it isn’t cool, but at least her cat wasn’t involved,” Maisie said.
We all knew Carrie. For one, she’d lived in Willow Brook her entire life and was now in her eighties. We also occasionally got called out to her place to rescue her cat, Herman, when he got stuck in a tree. The most famous incident was when she attempted to rescue him on her own with her late husband’s excavator, and it fell over in a ditch. Thankfully, both she and the cat made it out unscathed.
“We’ll start without him then,” Rex said.
“You’d better,” Maisie replied, “because your first appointment is already here.”
We plowed through four interviews, and I wasn’t feeling great about any of them. I looked around the table, asking, “What do you think?”
Levi shook his head along with Rex. Russell ran a hand through his hair and nodded in agreement.
“We only have one more. Paisley Banks.”
“Paisley?” Russell prompted.
I nodded. “Yup.”
Levi tapped the intercom button. “Is Paisley here?”
Maisie replied promptly, “She’s been waiting. Shall I send her back?”
“Please do.”
A moment later, the sound of footsteps preceded the appearance of Paisley. The footsteps slowed, and we heard Maisie’s voice. “Here we go. Don’t let them try to intimidate you. I’m mostly in charge around here, so just keep that in mind,” she explained, her tone dry.
Maisie grinned when she looked around the edge of the doorway. “Hey, guys.”
I glanced over as she gestured to the woman beside her. “This is Paisley Banks.”
Paisley had her auburn hair pulled back in a ponytail that swung as she walked. Rex cast one of his smiles at her. He had the kind of smile that made anyone feel at ease. Paisley’s green eyes bounced around the table. She looked a little tense until her gaze landed on Rex.
“Have a seat.” R
ex patted the chair beside him, scooting his chair over slightly as Paisley walked in.
We did a round of introductions. “So, you’ve got some good experience,” I began.
Paisley nodded. “I think so. I trained as a hotshot firefighter in Washington, and I’ve worked in several states out West. I love the work.”
“What brings you here?” Levi prompted.
“I always wanted to come to Alaska,” she said simply. “As a hotshot firefighter, I’ll get to see more of the area.”
“Where there’s fire,” Russell interjected.
Paisley slid her eyes to him and nodded solemnly. “Well, that’s the job.”
I sensed tension from Russell. I liked Paisley. She was solid and steady, and she had a good feel to her.
We finished the interview, and once we heard the door close down the hallway, Rex said, “She’s good. I think you should hire her.”
Russell interjected, “I think she’s going to be a distraction.”
I eyed him. “Why?”
He shifted his shoulders. “You’re not blind. She’s beautiful.”
“And?”
“I don’t know,” he muttered, looking disgruntled.
I gave him a considering look. “I’ve never known you to have an issue with women. There are several who work on the crews here. Is that a problem for you?”
He shook his head quickly. “I guess I didn’t think about it much. This is a hard job.”
“It is, and she’s been doing it for five years. She obviously knows what she’s facing. Her references are rock solid,” Levi interjected.
With Levi in agreement, I headed up front to ask Maisie to start the official hiring process. There was a shit ton of administrative stuff associated with hiring, and I was profoundly grateful Maisie handled most of it.
After helping on a town call later that afternoon, I headed home. I’d temporarily forgotten Allie was over at Madison’s place this afternoon until I got home and she wasn’t there. I slipped my phone out to text Allie when I saw the text I’d sent to myself from her phone with Madison’s number. I changed the contact from Maddie Neighbor to Off-Limits Neighbor. Maybe that would keep me sensible.
