by J. H. Croix
“A little. It stings more than anything,” she replied as she looked up at me.
“I missed you.”
My words surprised me. Not because I didn’t mean them or feel them deeply, but because I wasn’t prone to expressing myself.
“I thought you were mad at me,” she whispered.
I shook my head. “I was mad at myself.”
“For what?”
Wilbur barked, breaking into our conversation. I smiled down at him. “Let’s get you home, and then we’ll talk.” He barked again, clearly impatient with us. I cast a rueful smile at her. “I think Wilbur wants to go.”
“Ya think?” she teased lightly.
Madison was mostly fine, I hoped, but I felt a mess inside. My heart had tripped and fallen and was skidding sideways. I didn’t know how this was even possible, but I loved Madison.
She’d slipped through my defenses like a thin ribbon of air around the edge of a window. I didn’t even think she’d tried. Yet here she was—this beautiful, out of her element woman and former homecoming queen—giving me a slightly impatient look as she stared up at me. I wanted to tell her how I felt right this second, but I didn’t even know if I was ready, much less her.
When Wilbur barked again. I reached for her hand. We made our way back to the main path by following Wilbur. Despite pushing branches out of the way and climbing over a few boulders, I managed to keep a hold of her hand every step of the way.
When we reached the main trail, Wilbur’s step was almost jaunty now. He kept glancing back toward Madison and then circling our ankles. At one point, my eyes slid sideways to Madison’s, and I asked, “Corgis are herding dogs, right?”
She nodded and let out a soft laugh. The sound spun around my heart like a lasso cinching. When we reached the juncture where the trail intersected with the path between our houses, I looked down at her.
Chapter Thirty
Madison
Graham stared at me, his eyes searching mine. All the while, my heart felt like a bird trapped in a cage and trying to escape. He was looking at me like I was fragile and I might break at any minute. I didn’t even know what to think that somehow Wilbur had found him and brought him to me. I would’ve made my way home. I knew exactly where I was. It was just when Wilbur took off and hadn’t come back right away, I’d gotten worried.
Without a word, he turned and kept a hold of my hand, practically pulling me along the path toward my place.
“Do you need to let Allie know where you are?” I asked.
“She’s at a friend’s house,” he replied curtly.
Although I was still cold and feeling a little numb, Graham’s jacket did help. He seemed completely unaffected by the cold. Moments later, he had me in the house and was yanking me down the hallway to my bedroom.
“What are you doing?” I asked. Wilbur trotted along at my side.
“We need to get you in the shower and get you warmed up.”
“I’m fine. My teeth aren’t chattering anymore.”
Graham narrowed his eyes. “Shower. I’m calling the EMTs to come out and check on you. Actually, you know what?” he asked himself apparently. “I’ll just call Charlie. She lives nearby.”
“Who’s Charlie?” I asked. He was yanking my jacket off.
“Graham,” I said sharply.
His head whipped up, his phone in hand. “I’m fine. I am cold, but I’m fine.”
We stared at each other quietly, and I could hear every beat of my heart. He took a breath, closing his eyes and then opening them as he let it out slowly. “I still want you in that shower. It’ll warm you up.”
“Okay,” I said softly. Realizing he was going to insist and feeling unsettled inside, I blurted out my question. “Do you think I’m a flake and not the kind of girl you could be with?”
Graham’s eyes searched mine. The look he held there was so intent my breath seized. “Never,” he whispered.
He dipped his head and stepped close, folding me into his arms. When he brushed his lips over mine, a tingling sensation chased from the point of contact and radiated through my entire system.
It felt so decadently good to be in his arms. When he lifted his head, his words shocked me. “I missed you.”
I stared up at him. “I thought you were mad at me.” He shook his head quickly.
“No, I was annoyed with myself.”
“You think we’re not right together, don’t you, though?”
“No, that’s not it.”
“But I was homecoming queen, just like Allie’s mom.”
“You’re nothing like Allie’s mom,” he said, his tone low.
“How do you know? Plus, I’m a city girl. I’m only here because I lost my job when my dad got arrested for fraud.”
“I don’t care if you’re a city girl, and I definitely don’t give a shit what your dad did. You’re tough, you’re smart, and you have a big heart.” He brushed my hair away from my face. “I know we need to have this conversation, but first, you need to get in the shower. You’re still cold.”
His hands slid down my arms, curling around mine, and I could feel the contrast of his warm palms to my clammy hands. “Okay, I’ll shower,” I agreed.
“I’m gonna call Charlie. She lives about a quarter mile away.”
“Who is Charlie?” I repeated.
“She’s a local doctor. I just want to make sure you’re okay, so I’d like someone to check you out.”
I rolled my eyes. “Fine. Now go.” I waved out the bathroom doorway. “I’d like to shower in peace.”
He stepped out of the bathroom, and I closed the door behind him. “I’m right here if you need anything,” he called through the door.
“I know!”
My belly felt funny, and my heart was pounding madly. The shower did feel really good. While I thought I’d have found my way back on my own, warmth curled around my heart at the thought that Graham had come to find me. After I finished showering, I dried off and dressed in my most comfortable clothes—a pair of fleece sweatpants and a fluffy sweater. I could hear voices as I padded down the hallway.
When I walked into the kitchen, a woman turned and smiled. Her dark hair was up in a ponytail, and she wore purple glasses that matched the bright streak of purple in her hair. “You must be Madison.” She held her hand out as I approached.
I nodded, shaking her hand. “I am. Are you the doctor? You really didn’t have to come. I think I’m fine.”
“Charlie Franklin, nice to meet you. Graham said you would say you were fine. I’m sure you are, but he’s worried. I live only a few minutes down the road. Let me just check on a few things.”
She ran through the same concussion tests Graham had done, checked my eyes, and took a look at the scrape on my cheek and the cut by my hairline. “Everything looks fine. You’ll be a little sore, but some ibuprofen should do the trick.”
I glanced over at Graham. “I told you I was fine.”
He shrugged, staring at me implacably. “You were unconscious long enough that Wilbur came to get me.”
Charlie smiled down at Wilbur, who was sitting by her feet. “Wilbur is a good dog.”
“The very best,” I said.
“I should get going. Speaking of dogs, I need to feed ours, and Jesse’s bringing home pizza for dinner.”
“Do you know if he’s picked it up yet?” Graham asked.
“I don’t think so,” Charlie replied.
“Think he’ll mind if I ask him to get some for us?”
She smiled and shook her head.
“I could go get some,” I offered.
“Nope, you shouldn’t be driving, and I don’t want to leave you alone,” Graham said.
Charlie’s eyes slid to mine, glinting with mirth. “Just call Jesse. I’m sure he’ll pick up whatever you need and even deliver it for you. Please tip him, though,” she teased.
I laughed softly. “Am I allowed to have spiked hot chocolate?” I asked Charlie.
She shoo
k her head slightly. “I’d say not this evening. Head injuries can be unpredictable. You seem fine but wait until tomorrow. Somebody should check on you during the night.”
“How often?” I asked, knowing this meant Graham would be staying here.
“Every four hours.”
I sighed. Charlie left, and Graham called Jesse, ordering us two pepperoni pizzas. When he hung up, I asked, “Is Allie spending the night with her friend?”
“Oh, I need to call her too.” Moments later, after he hung up, he said, “Yes, she is.”
I rolled my eyes. Not much later, there was a sharp knock on the door followed by the sound of the door opening. The man I presumed to be Jesse appeared in the archway into the kitchen. “You must be Madison,” he said with an easy smile. He had brown curls, a lighter shade than Graham’s, and flashing green eyes.
“I am. You must be Jesse. Nice to meet you.”
“Same. I’m delivering pizza.” He held the box up in the air.
Graham grinned. “Let me get my wallet.”
Jesse set the pizza on the table with a chuckle. “Consider it on me.”
“Charlie said I had to tip you,” Graham offered with a sly grin.
Jesse waggled his eyebrows. “Did she now? How much?”
I offered, “I would give a regular delivery driver maybe ten bucks.”
“Ten bucks?” Jesse countered, his eyes widening.
“She’s from Houston,” Graham interjected, his tone deadpan.
I moved to stand from where I was sitting at the table, and Graham stepped swiftly to my side, placing a hand on my shoulder. “You don’t need to get up.” I rolled my eyes and met Jesse’s bemused gaze as he looked from me to Graham and back again. “I slipped on some leaves and hit my head on a rock. Apparently, Graham thinks I can’t even stand anymore,” I offered dryly.
Jesse shrugged. “Well then, enjoy the pizza.”
“I’ll walk you out,” Graham said.
I watched as they departed the kitchen and promptly stood and crossed over to the cabinet to get a glass and fill it with water. I got one for Graham while I was at it. “Actually, I should get him a beer,” I said to myself, opening the fridge and fetching one for him. I also got two plates.
When he returned a moment later, I was back at the table. His eyes landed immediately on my glass of water, the beer, and the plates. “You weren’t supposed to get up,” he said.
“Graham, I walked all the way back with you. Obviously, I can stand. I’m fine. I’m totally fine.”
“You were unconscious.”
“I know, but I’m still fine,” I insisted.
He muttered something under his breath and grabbed the beer off the table, returning it to the fridge. “Hey, I got that out for you,” I protested.
“I don’t need a beer,” he said flatly as he sat down across from me.
I opened the pizza box, and asked, “How many slices?”
He opened his mouth, and I held up a finger. “Don’t you dare tell me I can’t open the pizza box and get you some pizza.” I pushed it to the middle of the table. “Pick your own,” I muttered.
We ate quietly for a few minutes. After I finished off two slices of pizza, I leaned back in my chair, resting my hand on the table and watching Graham. He was terribly easy on the eyes. He was focused on his food and finished off a third slice before he even looked over at me. “What?” he prompted.
“Nothing.”
“You’re looking at me.”
“Uh, you’re sitting across from me.” I snorted a little and took a swallow of water. I suddenly got nervous. “Look…” I began.
Graham started to reach for another slice of pizza, then he lowered it, fixing his gaze on me. “What is it?”
“I just thought I should tell you something.”
“Okay.”
“I thought maybe I should tell you how I ended up coming to Alaska. I was close to my grandfather, but he and my mother hardly ever spoke. I didn’t even know he left me this place right away. Long story short, I worked for my family for years doing math.”
“Doing math?” Graham asked, his eyes crinkling at the corners. One side of his mouth kicked up in a lopsided grin.
“Analyzing numbers is what actuaries do. Anyway, it turns out my father was committing financial fraud. I wasn’t a part of it. He’s facing charges and I’m testifying against him. My mother’s furious at me, and I kind of lost everything. Fortunately, I had a little bit of my own savings, which floated me for a while. When I found out I’d inherited this place, I decided I might as well come here. I had nothing keeping me in Houston. I also learned the hard way that my fiancé didn’t really love me, and my friends weren’t the kind of friends who stick around when things go wrong.”
I felt the burn of shame in my throat. When I lifted my eyes to find Graham’s gaze waiting, there was no judgment, simply a calm, steady understanding.
“Honestly, when I first came here, I didn’t know what I was going to do. I actually like it here, and I wasn’t sure I would.”
He nodded slowly. “Since we’re being honest, you should know that I looked you up, so I knew that whole story. I didn’t know how you felt about it.”
My face burned. “You looked me up?” I whispered.
“Hey, don’t stress.” He reached over and put one of his big hands over mine.
His touch was warm and reassuring. “I was curious because I missed you. When I heard you on the phone in the parking lot with your mom, I got kinda nosy.”
“Nosy? You?” I was honestly shocked.
Graham chuckled. “I’m not usually, but I guess I am about you. It’s not your fault what your father did.”
I shrugged. “I know, but I feel like I should have known.”
“How are you supposed to know when somebody’s doing something like that behind your back?”
I felt tears stinging in my eyes, and oh, my God, I did not want to cry in front of Graham.
As we looked at each other, my throat felt thick, and my chest hurt a little. All because of the look in his eyes. Like he actually believed in me.
In another second, he stood from the table and rounded to my side. Before I realized what was happening, he lifted me in his arms—without much trouble because he was that kind of man—and carried me into the living room.
I squeaked at the unexpected motion. “Where are we going?”
He sat down on the couch. It was then I realized he had started a fire while I was in the shower. He pulled me close to his chest. Graham had a great lap. He held me easily, his fingers sliding through the ends of my hair.
“If you need to cry, you can,” he said, his voice rumbly and deep.
I blinked and took a breath. “I’m okay. My life kind of blew up, and I didn’t even know who I was anymore.”
“What do you mean?”
I pondered that, trying to collect my thoughts. “I don’t know,” I finally said. “I guess, having it all fall apart and realizing I didn’t have anyone to turn to made me feel like my whole life, me included, was shallow and superficial. Like me being homecoming queen. That was a fluke too.”
Graham’s gaze was warm as he looked at me. I bit my lip.
“Yeah?” he prompted.
“It felt that way to me. When I came here, it was nothing more than a place to go. Now, I actually like my job, and this is a great little house.”
His eyes arced about the space before coming back to mine. “It is. I think you’re pretty awesome.” His voice was all gravelly, and it did funny things to my insides as I stared into his eyes.
“You do?”
“You didn’t notice?”
His fingers shifted up, and I felt the subtle brush of his thumb along my collarbone. I tried to take a breath, but there didn’t seem to be much air available. My stomach felt as if I were falling, and my pulse raced out of control like a horse set loose after being pinned up for too long.
“I thought I really screwed up with Allie.�
�
Graham took a breath, his gaze sobering. “You didn’t. I’m just not very good at parenting a teenager.”
“That is not true,” I said stoutly. “You’re an incredible father to her. It’s just that teenagers are kind of hard, I think. I’ve never had one, but that’s my best guess.”
His smile unfurled slowly across his face. My belly shimmied, and my skin felt like it was on fire under the path of his thumb tracing over my collarbone.
“I think you might be right. I’m the only parent who disciplines her, so sometimes she gets a little cranky with me. I’m learning it’s part of the deal.”
“It’ll be okay,” I offered.
“I know it will.”
We looked at each other for a long moment, and then he shocked the hell out of me.
“I love you.”
I must’ve stared at him for several beats too long because he prompted, “Madison?”
I took in a gulp of air. “What?” I squeaked.
His hand stilled before he brushed my drying hair away from my cheek. He dipped his head, pressing hot kisses along the underside of my jaw. When he lifted his head again, he spoke each word clearly, “I love you.”
I felt a rushing sensation inside as if a wind was gusting through me, catching my heart and lifting it high. I was tingling all over, and all I could do was stare at him.
Chapter Thirty-One
Graham
Madison’s eyes were wide, and her mouth fell open in a pretty O. I sifted my fingers through her hair and waited. It felt beyond good to have her in my lap.
I didn’t even want to think about how terrifying it had been to realize she could have gotten hypothermia. Hypothermia didn’t seem like a big deal, but people died from it, most often during the autumn and spring seasons when they weren’t as prepared for the cold. My brain slammed a door at the thought.
She was here, and she was safe. She was mine. She gave her head a tiny shake and then licked her lips. “You love me?”
I nodded slowly, certainty filling my heart and a sense of relief and joy settling inside me. “Yes. Is that so hard to believe?”
