Nami slumped a little in her chair, obviously feeling the sting of defeat. Beck draped an arm around her shoulders. “I guess,” Nami quietly said. “Gonna be hard not having you around, though.”
“I know, Sis. But we’ll come back to visit. And you can come here, right?”
“I suppose.”
Beck hugged her against him. “It’ll be fine, baby. They have to have their own life.”
“It’s just I really love it out here,” Da’von added. “I loved it the last time we were here, too.”
Dewi glanced Lu’ana’s way and wondered how much of a Prime nudge she’d have to give her before they returned to the compound.
After they finished eating and the tab was paid, Nami grabbed Dewi’s arm to hold her back as they were all filing out.
“Do you think that’s the right thing to do?” Nami whispered. “Let them live out here?”
Dewi didn’t need her Prime powers to know what Nami meant.
“I think they’re in love, and I think that Idaho would be one of the safest places for them to live.”
Nami blinked back tears as Beck waited for them to finish talking.
“I just want him to have a good life,” she tearfully whispered. “So much bad could’ve happened. Will he really be safe out here?”
“Safer than in Tampa,” Beck darkly muttered. “Out here, everyone will know he’s Targhee. That’ll give him a natural layer of protection. If I thought I could get away with it, we’d all be living out here in Idaho.”
“And Gillian did tell me he seemed to really have fun at the ski resort. They’ll have their own place out here, too. They’ll be able to raise their family—”
“And I won’t be around for it.” Nami brushed tears away.
Beck stepped in and hugged her. “Honey, I know how hard this is on you. You can come visit them. They’ll have Asia and Gillian and some of my family close by.”
She nodded. “I know.”
Lu’ana poked her head back in. “Sis, you comin’?”
“Yeah. Be right there.” Nami drew in a deep breath. “This is all part of life, right?”
Dewi smiled and patted her on the arm. “Exactly.”
“Just keep reminding me of that.”
When they returned to Peyton’s, Dewi found Ken in the cabin, sitting up in bed and working on his laptop.
“Hey.” She climbed in with him and kissed him. “How’d this morning go? How’s Tamsin?”
He caught her up and Dewi sighed. “I feel really bad for her.”
“I think we’ll need to be prepared for the possibility we might not be able to help her.”
Dewi stared at him. “You think she’ll kill herself?”
“I don’t know. I think if Trevor and Elizabeth were here, that might help a little. She’s pack, but she doesn’t see us as her family. How much longer will she be stuck with us? Not that I mind her,” Ken said. “But I’m legit worried about her.”
“I don’t know,” Dewi said. “She cannot go back until Faegan’s head’s in a bag. She…can’t. Because we don’t know who he might have working with him. Once he’s dead, the threat’s over. No one stays loyal to a corpse when their own hide is on the line.”
Chapter Sixteen
Early Christmas morning, before daybreak, Dewi lay in bed and stared up at the cabin’s ceiling. Beside her, Ken was still deeply asleep.
Lucky him.
Tamsin weighed heavily on Dewi’s mind. The deeply painful loss the young woman had endured.
In a case like this, their Prime powers could only help so much. They could will her to eat and drink, help her sleep, but even if they tried something as shitty as making her forget, it wouldn’t help. Her grief would manifest in other ways, sooner or later.
Besides, it’d be cruel to make her forget Maisie and Rupert. Not to mention in a case like that, it was doubtful they’d be able to successfully manage it. There were too many threads in Tamsin’s life tied to Maisie and Rupert for them to successfully eliminate any memories of them.
Ethically and morally, Dewi wouldn’t even attempt it, even at the risk of not being able to keep Tamsin alive. She knew Badger and Duncan wouldn’t, either. Nor would Peyton.
Somehow, they had to find a way to help her through this.
Dewi’s hand came to rest on her own swelling tummy. It was too early to feel her baby moving yet, but she knew if the worst ever happened to her, she wouldn’t want a second of her time with Ken wiped away, good or bad. She’d want those memories so at the very least she could pass them on to her child, talk about him.
Brianna mating with Da’von was a complication. Dewi had hoped, once Faegan was captured and killed, that they could possibly send Brianna overseas with Tamsin for a few months, until she settled back in.
Now, that wouldn’t be practical.
I hope Da and Badger can help her through this.
It had been a trauma compounded, obviously. Running for her life, knowing Maisie and Rupert sacrificed themselves to save her. Then being hustled over to the States and dropped with strangers.
Dewi had hoped spending yesterday with Duncan would have had led Tamsin to at least a little breakthrough, but it seemed to have the opposite effect. They couldn’t force her to shift back.
Well, they could, with Prime powers, but again, that would be a dick move. Long-term, it wouldn’t be helpful.
Although…
In some ways, flying home with her shifted would be easier. Claim she was a service dog and then there’d be no record of her in the ticketing system under any identity, real or fictitious.
It’d be nice if just one fricking trip to Idaho didn’t involve a damn crisis.
* * * *
When she awoke, Brianna learned Tamsin still hadn’t shifted back, and hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast the morning before. Gillian made Tamsin a large serving of scrambled eggs with cheese and ham for breakfast and took it out to Badger’s cabin. Tamsin had spent the night there, with Badger and Duncan watching over her. The two old shifters were finally able to coax her into eating breakfast, at least, and got her to drink some water.
Then they brought her over to the main house, Duncan carrying her, where Brianna sat with Tamsin in the living room on one of the couches while they awaited everyone else to arrive to make brunch. Da’von sat on the far end of the couch. At least Brianna could sense from him how badly he felt about all of this. He wasn’t being a jerk about this at all—he was genuinely upset for Tamsin.
Hell, they all were.
“Sweetie,” Brianna softly said as she stroked Tamsin’s head, “I know you’re hurting, but you can’t do this. It won’t fix anything. Your baby is going to need you.”
Brianna knew that the Targhees hoped sending Tamsin to Florida with Brianna would help the younger woman in her recovery, but Brianna wasn’t so sure. In fact, it kind of terrified Brianna.
Yes, they were friends, and had bonded tighter than sisters. But this deep level of pain wasn’t something Brianna had experience dealing with. Sure, she’d faced loss in her life, knew grief intimately well. Frist by losing their parents, and then their aunt.
That wasn’t the same as losing a bonded mate, though. And she’d been a child when all her losses happened.
Grief was difficult, but survivable. Losing a bonded mate was more like having half your soul ripped from your body.
Now that Brianna had a bonded mate of her own, she definitely knew she couldn’t truly appreciate the level of pain Tamsin suffered every waking moment.
Gillian and Peyton joined them in the living room, with Dewi and Ken following a short time later.
“Before everyone else gets here,” Peyton said, “I have a couple of things for Tamsin.” He picked up a tablet from the coffee table, swiped into something, and then crossed the living room to hold it in front of Tamsin, where she could see it.
It was a video message. Brianna already knew it was from Trevor and Elizabeth, because Peyton had warned her ye
sterday he was going to show it to Tamsin.
“Hello, Tamsin,” Trevor said. “We’re sorry you can’t be with us, sweetheart. We miss you so much, but we can’t risk your safety right now.”
“Know that you’re in our hearts,” Elizabeth said. “You and the baby. We can’t wait to see you again and have you home with us, where you belong. Meanwhile, please stay safe and take care of yourself and the wee one. And Happy Christmas.”
“Happy Christmas, love,” Trevor added. “Please, do take care of yourself. I know you’re hurting. We both do. But think of Maisie and Rupert. They loved you so very much, and they loved your baby. You must carry on for your baby, if for no other reason. She will need her mother, and we need you in our family. We love you.”
A soft, gasping, chuffing whine rolled from Tamsin. Brianna grabbed a tissue from the box of them Gillian offered her and gently dabbed at the tears trickling down Tamsin’s snout.
“Trevor and Elizabeth also sent you something,” Peyton said once the video ended. He reached behind the couch he’d been occupying with Gillian earlier and produced a box, which had been wrapped with Christmas paper. He handed it to Brianna. It was about eighteen inches on each side, and while not heavy, she could feel it was a slightly unbalanced.
Tamsin’s nose wrinkled a little as she sniffed it, but she made no move to shift back.
Dewi and Ken arrived, with Duncan and Badger, but they all hung back in the living room doorway, quietly watching.
Peyton nodded to Brianna to open it for Tamsin. She carefully slipped her fingers under the tape holding one end closed and unwrapped it to find a pretty, sparkly red and green box with a lid on it held closed with ribbon.
Tamsin’s nose wrinkled again as she sniffed it, but her head remained on Brianna’s thigh as she watched.
Brianna carefully untied the ribbon and lifted the lid off the box. Inside, the items were wrapped in tissue paper. The first she lifted out was obviously the bulk of the box’s weight, and it turned out to be a small photo album contained in a decorative frame.
On the front was a picture of Tamsin, flanked by a young woman and man who had to be Maisie and Rupert, just gauging by how similar they looked.
Tamsin softly whined when she saw it, more tears falling.
Brianna opened the album and went through all the pictures for her, Tamsin’s tears flowing nonstop as they looked at them. Some of them just her and Maisie, some with Maisie and Rupert, some with Tamsin and Rupert.
Pictures of their small, private wedding.
And their first kiss as a married couple.
There were twenty-five pages in the album, and when Brianna finished showing them to Tamsin she set it on the side table next to her and then removed and unwrapped the next item.
It was a teddy bear with a little scarf tied around its neck, and Tamsin’s head popped up, her nose furiously working when she sniffed it. Under it was a zippered plastic baggie with what looked like dozens more little scarves for it.
That’s when Brianna realized they were all cut from shirts or other clothes.
Tamsin pressed her nose against the bear and deeply inhaled before letting out a mournful howl.
Then Brianna found the small card, written in tidy script, and held it so Tamsin could read it.
We saved as much as we could, and we thought perhaps this might help you right now. There are more here at home we carefully packed up. I went onto Maisie’s phone and downloaded videos from it to make the next part. Press the bear’s right paw. Happy Christmas, and we love you. — Dad and Mummy.
Brianna looked up, to where Peyton stood watching, his arms crossed over his chest.
Duncan and Badger stepped around Dewi and Ken and walked over to the couch, both of them reaching out to place their hands on Tamsin’s back.
“It’s okay, lass,” Badger gently said to Brianna. “Go ahead.”
Brianna pressed the bear’s right paw and felt the little voice box there. It chirped to life with a woman’s voice.
“Love you, Tamtam. Forever. Never forget that.”
And then a man’s voice. “Love you, Tam. You and that beautiful, wee babe.”
Before Brianna could react, Tamsin had shifted, grabbed the bear, and hugged it to her as she threw back her head and sobbed.
“That’s it,” Badger softly said. “Let it out, lass. Ye canna hold it in.”
Duncan kept one hand on Tamsin’s shoulder, and with the other reached over to a throw that was draped across the back of the couch and pulled it around her before he and Badger moved in and engulfed her in a hug.
Brianna and Da’von both eased off the couch and moved to stand next to Peyton, who still watched this play out.
“It’s not fair!” she screamed. “That bloody bastard is still alive, and my mate is gone! My baby’s father will never get to meet her! He was my brother in my heart, and they’re both gone! I want Father to pay. I want him to suffer. I don’t want him killed—I want him tortured, for years and years and years, every day, without end.”
Peyton deeply sighed. “I promise you his head, Tamsin,” he quietly said. “No matter what we have to do, you’ll get that. But we can’t keep him alive once he’s caught. He has to die.”
Duncan scooped Tamsin into his arms, and, with Badger holding one of her hands, Duncan carried her out of the living room and down to her bedroom. The door shutting muffled the sound of her sobs, but it still tore Brianna up inside.
Dewi stepped forward wearing a somber expression. “Maybe if we’ve finally tapped into her anger she can start moving forward. Keep her alive.”
“I hope so,” Peyton said.
Brianna gathered up the album and tucked it back into the box, along with the tissue paper and the bag of scarves, and carried it down the hall. She hesitated to interrupt. Inside, Tamsin was back to wordlessly sobbing, but at least she was human again. Brianna heard the low rumble of what she thought was Duncan’s voice, barely audible over the sound of Tamsin’s cries.
Taking a deep breath, Brianna lightly tapped on the door with one finger, knowing Badger or Duncan would hear her.
Badger opened the door seconds later. “Aye?”
“Here,” Brianna said, holding the box out. “I don’t want them left out there and possibly mixed up with other things.”
“Ah. Good thinkin’. Thank ye.” He took it from her and withdrew into the bedroom, closing the door after him.
When Brianna returned to the living room, she immediately went to Da’von, and he enveloped her in his arms. Closing her eyes, she deeply inhaled his scent, her own soul settling a little as he tightly held her.
“Do you think I should go down there?” Dewi asked Peyton.
He shook his head. “No. Let them keep working with her, for now. I hope that was a breakthrough for her. She’s tried so hard to be brave and strong, and it’s time for her to fall apart, now that she knows we’ll be there to catch her and help her put herself back together.”
“I’m going to get brunch started,” Gillian quietly said as she rose from the couch.
“I’ll help,” Da’von, Ken, and Dewi all said, getting a sad chuckle from Peyton and Brianna.
“I’ll pass the word everyone else can come over now,” Peyton said, moving to his office. “I didn’t want more pressure on her until we went through that with her.”
Da’von held Brianna’s hand, gently squeezing as they followed Gillian to the kitchen. This wasn’t exactly how Brianna envisioned her first Christmas mated, but at least they were together and with family.
And at least, for this Christmas, they were relatively safe. Carl and Mateo didn’t have to pretend to be anything other than human, and could express their love in front of others.
That is something to be grateful for, I suppose.
Chapter Seventeen
After Christmas dinner was finished, while everyone was busy talking and catching up—and Badger and Duncan had spent most of that time in Tamsin’s room with her—Dewi made her
way out onto the back porch to sit and stare at the stars. She sat on the large porch swing where she’d spent plenty of hours growing up.
This was her Christmas habit now. The past few years, she’d have a glass of wine or something, but this year it was regular eggnog without any alcohol added.
Almost like being a kid again.
She knew without looking when the door opened that it was Peyton and Trent. They joined her, sitting on either side of her on the swing, both of them with drinks in their hands and with their arms along the back of the swing, the three of them touching.
No one spoke for a while. There’d been a couple of Christmases she’d missed, the first few while in Florida, before Peyton allowed her to return to the compound.
And she understood why. She got it, that it was for her own safety as much as it was his.
“Are we going to be able to keep her alive?” Dewi finally asked.
Peyton sighed. “I don’t know, kiddo. I hope so.”
“Don’t be in a hurry to find Carl and Mateo a house,” Trent said. “Her living there with you and Badger and Da might be the only thing that allows you to keep her alive after her baby’s born.”
“Or find them a big enough house with two extra guest rooms, so Badger and Da can stay there sometime,” Peyton added. “Pack’s paying for it, so whatever you need.”
She nodded and sipped her eggnog. “I’m going to be a shitty mom, aren’t I?”
“What?” they both asked.
“Hey, no,” Peyton said.
“Stop that,” Trent said, nearly at the same time.
She snorted. “I can’t wait to have her and heal up enough I can get back to working full-tilt. Ken’s dying to be a full-time dad. What the hell was I thinking, not being more careful?”
Both brothers leaned in, tipping their heads against hers the way they used to when Dewi was younger.
A Bleacke Christmas (Bleacke Shifters 5) Page 13
