by R L Medina
After hours of restlessness, I made my way downstairs, careful not to wake Mom or Mag. Fortunately, Mom having lived so long in the Outer World, had grown used to actually sleeping at night. I left the door cracked behind me. Coldness seeped into my bare feet as I crept toward the stairs. The wood creaked beneath my weight, making me pause and bite my lip. Surely Des or Aunt Cindra would have heard that with their elf hearing.
“Where are you going?” Des’s voice made me jump.
I blinked in the darkness, unable to make him out in the shadows.
“I can’t sleep. I was going to make some tea.”
“Hmm.”
“What are you doing sneaking around?”
His yellow eyes appeared in front of me. “I’m going out to stand guard.”
My eyebrow arched. “Guard from what?”
He scoffed at me. “Spirits. Angry fae who have family stuck in Feylin. The queen. GRIMMS. The Raj’ani. Take your pick.”
I flushed. “Okay. Okay. I get it. We have enemies.”
“Enjoy your… tea.” He sniffed and disappeared.
Ignoring his veiled jibe, I continued down the stairs and paused before the couch. It was empty. My heart pounded. Where had Sacha gone?
Movement sounded from the kitchen, making me turn. Had Des stopped in the kitchen first? Or was it Sacha?
I moved slowly, fear growing inside me. What if it was the Raj’ani? Or the queen? I reached for the light switch and turned it on.
Light flooded the room, revealing a shirtless Sacha squinting over a bowl of soup.
My mouth quirked into a smile. “I thought you weren’t hungry?”
He shrugged. “I’m not, but I’m not tired either.”
I watched as he held the bowl up to his lips, my eyes falling on his muscled arms. Flushing, I turned away and headed for the cabinet. Ignoring my racing heart, I pulled down a teacup and package of tea bags. I grabbed another cup for him and waited for the kettle to be ready.
It was strange to have Sacha here in my old home, watching me as I made myself a cup of tea. I poured the hot water over the bag and handed the teacup to him. I blew on the hot liquid before taking a drink.
“What is this?” Sacha held it up to his nose and sniffed.
I smiled. “Mint tea.”
He returned my smile; dimples flashing as he took a sip. My eyes drifted to his lips as he pulled the cup away. The memory of our kiss made my cheeks flame. Did he feel the same?
“It’s good.” His voice was gruff.
Desire radiated from him, making me redden further. He did feel it. I sipped down more tea, letting the hot liquid fill me.
“Midnight snack?” Des’s cold voice echoed from the corner of the room.
He appeared from the shadows and shot us a meaningful look. I leapt away from Sacha, face flooding with mortification. How long had he been standing there creeping on us?
“I thought you were checking outside.”
His brow arched. “I did. Now I’ve returned.” He strode toward us. “Just in time it seems.”
Sacha’s shoulders straightened. If he was embarrassed, he showed no signs of it.
“Everything is fine,” Sacha bit out.
Des smirked. “Is it?” His eyes drifted to me. “Princess?”
I forced down my discomfort and lifted my chin. “We’re fine. You can… go back to whatever it is you were doing.”
His smile disappeared. “And you can return to your room. Your separate room. Unless you’d like me to wake your mother.”
“I’m already up.” Mom’s voice sounded from the living room.
She strode into the kitchen still wearing her day clothes. Her eyes scanned my face and flitted to Sacha.
My back stiffened. “We were just having tea.”
Des snorted.
I threw him a dark look. What did he care what I did? I didn’t need a guardian anymore, and with Mom back, I certainly didn’t need a babysitter.
“Tea sounds wonderful.” Mom smiled and moved toward the cupboard.
Ignoring Des’s narrowed eyes, I smiled apologetically at Sacha. If he’d been planning to kiss me before, it wasn’t happening now. Not with my Mom and cranky elf nanny watching us.
“Come, Sacha. I have a task for you.” Des motioned him toward the living room.
He glanced back at me. “It will most likely take all night. Don’t wait up.”
Ass. I pushed the message through his barrier.
He smiled.
Sacha mouthed an ‘I’m sorry’ and followed Des out, leaving me alone with my Mom and a conversation that had been a long time coming, I feared.
“Come sit with me, Renée.”
I bit back an inward groan and sank into the hard-wooden chair.
“More tea?”
I nodded. The sound of liquid splashing into my cup broke the silence.
Picking up the steaming cup, I held it in front of me, savoring the strong minty smell and gladly using it as a shield for what was coming.
Mom’s face twisted with indecision. She didn’t know what to say to me. When had we become strangers to each other? I spread my hand against the wooden table and shook my head. So many memories of us in the same chairs, but everything had been so different.
“You’re not wearing your bracelet.” She interrupted my thoughts.
I glanced up at her. “You mean the shock collar you had made especially for me?”
She frowned.
I looked back down at my bare wrist. “That’s what Aunt Maloret called it. She said it blocked my magic.”
Her shoulders straightened as if preparing for a fight. I fell silent. I didn’t want to fight her. The lies and brokenness between us tore at me.
Mom’s sharp green eyes drilled into me. My mind was secured against her power, but I threw an extra layer of protection just in case.
She shook her head. “I’m not going to read your thoughts.”
Lifting her cup, she took a sip and continued to stare at me. Was she waiting for me to bring up Sacha? That wasn’t happening. I’d happily avoid the conversation altogether.
“Sacha is… a rare elf. Kind and gentle.”
I swallowed more tea, opting for silence. Where was she going with all of that?
Her lips twisted. “I know you’ve come to care for him, but…” She paused, sadness flickering across her face, “I don’t think the others would accept it. You’re a princess, Renée. You’ve already proved yourself no matter what happened in the past.”
I scoffed. “That’s funny Coming from you. You chose a human.”
She slammed her teacup down. Tea sloshed over the side and spread on the table. “And I don’t regret that decision. Not one bit, but I don’t want you to have the same hardships that I did.”
Sucking in a breath I tried to soothe the anger rolling inside me. The trouble she had as princess were nothing compared to what I had faced. Without her.
“Perhaps in the future…” she trailed off.
My eyebrow arched. We hadn’t discussed the future. Not in the sense of where we would end up, though her actions and the path we’d been taking were clearly pushing us to the inevitable— staying in Feylin.
Giving up the Outer World.
I glanced around the little kitchen. Hadn’t I already given it up, though? Feylin felt more like home now. I’d changed and if I gave up all my memories, there’d be no way of going back to who I had been.
Tears filled my eyes at the thought. The normal life I’d been trying for was completely and undeniably so far out of my reach now. No café job. No high school. No college.
I could never be just Ren again.
“Renée.” Mom’s voice softened.
She laid her hand on top of mine and I felt her magic working to soothe me. Instead of fighting it, I let it fill me. Numb me.
“This… none of this was supposed to happen like this.” Her voice wavered.
I looked up to meet her gaze and sniffed. “I know. It’s ju
st… a part of me wishes we could rewind time and… I don’t know.”
“Choose a different path?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know.”
She sighed and squeezed my hand. “All I ever wanted was for you to be safe and happy. That’s all any parent wishes for their child.”
My eyebrow arched. That wasn’t what the queen wished, and I wasn’t so sure Belle had our best interests at heart either.
Catching my meaning, she scoffed. “Well, what most parents wish. Our family is…”
“Screwed up.” I sniffed again.
Her lips quirked into a smile. “Something like that.”
17
Morning came all too soon. I sighed, knowing that today wouldn’t be giving tours to my friends and reminiscing about my old life. No. Today, I had serious work to do. My stomach churned with dread. Today, I’d have to try to connect with the Raj’ani. We’d already missed one day, but I didn’t regret the time I’d spent. Mom had known I needed the break. A break from constant danger and challenges. Now I faced my greatest one—link with the creature and risk damaging my mind.
I shuddered and sat up in my bed. Mag and Mom were gone. I glanced out the window, surprised to see the midday sun. My eyes widened. They’d let me sleep in? I threw my covers off and hurriedly dressed. My old jeans and t-shirt still fit, though I’d developed more muscle than I’d ever had before.
I snorted at myself. Probably because of all running for my life I’d been doing lately. Dismissing the thoughts, I swiped a hand across my face to make sure I didn’t have any dried drool and bounded down the stairs.
Everyone looked up as I descended. My cheeks flushed red. Everyone. Even the queen had returned. Her eyes narrowed as they met mine.
Des and Aunt Cindra—who to my utter shock, was dressed in Outer World clothes, Mom’s clothes to be exact—stood at my approach. Even with the casual brown maxi skirt and loose white blouse, something about her still screamed royalty. Her curly hair had been pinned up, revealing her long, pointed ears. Yeah, that could be a problem.
The GRIMMS had been adamant that we use glamour while we were on our ‘vacation.’ They hadn’t been too happy that we had skipped coming through their portal, but thanks to Aunt Maloret’s forged travel papers, we’d gotten off with just a warning.
“Good morning,” I murmured as I stood awkwardly in front of everyone.
Mom smiled at me. “Morning.”
The queen scoffed. “Now may we begin?”
Unlike Aunt Cindra, she hadn’t changed and seeing her standing in Grimera’s cabin in her sparkling diamond gown was bizarre. Here, her pale, sharp features made her look even more other worldly.
Mom frowned at her. “We will begin when she’s ready.”
All eyes turned to me. I fought the urge to squirm under their stares. I didn’t even know where I was supposed to ‘begin.’ How did track the creature without alerting it? What if it had already left the Outer World?
“No hurry,” Des muttered under his breath.
Heat spread across my face. “I’m ready.” I turned to Mom. “What do I have to do?”
Worry flashed in her eyes. She stood and took my hands. “Let me in your head and I will search for the link myself. It’s the safest way.”
I nodded. That didn’t sound so bad. I could do that.
“Okay. But it won’t hurt you, right?”
“I’ll be fine.” Her eyes flicked to the others.
I followed the gaze, studying their reaction. They were hiding something. Sacha looked away, refusing to meet my eyes and Mag sat on the couch, face buried in her hands.
“What is it?” I demanded.
My eyes shot to Mom. She shook her head and reached for my hands once more.
I pulled away from her touch.
“Renée, let me in. Everything will be fine.”
“What aren’t you telling me?”
She sighed. “There’s a risk that I could accidentally sever your connection.”
I blinked. “And what would happen then?”
Her eyes met mine. “It could… have a negative effect on my own mind.”
The words punched me in the gut. A lick of anger curled through me.
“And you weren’t going to warn me?”
Her jaw clenched. “It’s not for certain. I need you to be as calm as possible when I enter your mind. If there was any other way to do it, I would.”
I glanced at the others and thought of those left in Feylin. I knew I had no choice but worry swirled inside me. I hated to put Mom or anyone at risk, and even my own safety wasn’t guaranteed.
“Okay. Let’s do it.” I gave her a firm nod.
She reached for my hands again and I placed them on top of hers. My stomach churned. She led me slowly to the couch and motioned for me to sit down. I followed her lead and ignored everyone’s stares. How was I supposed to concentrate with everyone looking at me?
“This isn’t working.” Mom glanced at Aunt Cindra. “Give us some space. I need her complete attention.”
Heat crept up my neck.
The queen huffed. “Pathetic halfling.” With that she swept out of the room, followed by the others.
As soon as they left, my tension eased. I summoned my magic to prepare myself. Alone with Mom, I could do this.
She squeezed my hands once more and searched my face. I stared back at her, a moment of sorrow sweeping through me. This was the first time she’d ever helped me with my power. What would life had been like if I hadn’t inherited her magic? If I had just been normal? I pushed the wave of emotion away and refocused my attention on her.
“Okay. Now what do I do?”
“There is so much you can do with this magic, Renée. You have the power to read and control minds, to manipulate emotions and erase or create memories and images from nothing.”
Her words chilled me. None of those sounded like things that should be possible. The excitement shining through her eyes scared me. Didn’t she see that I didn’t want to do those things? The memory of what I’d done to Sacha replayed in my mind, making my chest tighten. I’d crossed a line that the old Ren never would have, and the scariest part was, I knew, deep down, I’d do it again.
“You’re scared.” Her words snapped me to attention.
I met her penetrating gaze. Was she in my mind already?
“You’re scared of your power. I can see it written on your face.” Her eyes searched mine, a flicker of sadness flashed on her face. “This is my fault. I should have prepared you for this. I never imagined you’d be so powerful.”
My lips quirked. I wasn’t sure if I should be relieved or insulted by her words. A thought struck me. Was she disappointed that I wasn’t just a normal kid?
“I’m scared too, Renée.”
I gaped at her; my eyes widened at her confession.
She nodded. “None of us know the outcome of this. My own power has limits and perhaps that’s a good thing.” She smiled. “Without them maybe I would have gone too far and damaged my mind.”
Her brow furrowed. “I don’t want that for you. I wish I could protect you from all the risks, but I don’t know how. The truth is, I...no, we, all need you. I don’t know why you’ve been given so much power, but I do know that you are the strongest of us to wield it.”
My head reeled as her words rang in my ears. I was not the strongest, by any means. Without my magic, I’d be nothing, absolutely nothing but a weak human.
“How can you say that?” I scoffed at her.
She gave me a sad smile. “Because I know you.” She swept a strand of hair from my face. “I know how loving and brave your heart is.”
My cheeks flushed. Could the others hear our conversation? Heat spread up my neck at the thought of them listening.
“Are you ready?”
I nodded. As ready as I’d ever be. Butterflies stirred in my stomach and my palms had grown itchy. I called to my magic and was surprised when it didn’t come to me right away.
“Magic moves slower here in the Outer World,” Mom explained.
My nose scrunched up. “Why is that?”
She shrugged. “This world doesn’t run on magic as much as Feylin.”
“Wouldn’t that mean it should work faster?”
She smiled. “You would think, but it’s not the case.”
I sighed and tried again, focusing my mind on summoning my power. It came slowly, spreading through and the warmth and energy it brought was comforting. Using the magic, I focused on calming my nerves and erasing my fear.
“Good. Clear your mind and emotions as much as possible.” Mom’s voice echoed around me.
I bit my lip and followed her guidance. I envisioned myself sweeping away all my doubts and bottling up my feelings. Numbness filled me.
“Keep your eyes closed and keep everything except the Raj’ani locked from me. I want you to envision your encounter with it. Focus on that.”
A heavy sigh escaped me as I concentrated my energy on that one moment.
The dark prison. The fear as my body moved without my control. The coldness that I hadn’t even remembered was there. I saw it. The Raj’ani’s bright blue eye watching me. Pain sparked as the memory brought my panic back. Quickly, I shoved it away, envisioning it locked behind a door.
From somewhere far away, I felt a movement, a strange presence moving through my mind. My magic swelled, urging me to push out the intruder. I fought the urge to lash out or attack. Instead, I tried to refocus my mind on the Raj’ani.
Its large blue eye blinked in my vision. I stretched a hand towards it, trying to grasp on to our mental connection. Could it feel me reaching?
Pain blossomed in my head. Was it my own or the Raj’ani? I summoned more strength and focused on its face.
Its eye turned into an expansive bright sky. Stars, moon, and the sun crowded the blue space. Sound echoed around me, but I couldn’t make out any of it. The vision shifted, and I was soaring above a mountainous range, the sheer size of them left me reeling. Wind swirled in vortexes around me and the salty smell of water struck me again and again.
It wasn’t our world. It wasn’t any world I’d ever seen.
Images flashed before me. Plants bursting free from the soil. A waterfall exploding in all directions. The stars blinking out, tumbling from the sky. Somewhere, something was howling, its cries striking my every nerve.
